I think it's really telling that we pretty much all say that we wanted trans ideology to be correct but no one could explain or prove it, no books, no other trans people, no activist material. I felt this same way, pretty much all my detrans mutuals or the people I follow say the same thing.
If I could find something that proves that I am wrong, that gender is definable, provable, real, and that I was simply wrong about mine, that would be very soothing. I have trans people in my life who mean a lot to me, my transition has taken up a large chunk of my life (if you start the clock at my "coming out", it literally went on longer than my previous stage of life from 0-11 years old... being from 11-23), and the progressive wing of US politics, and most pro-gay organizations, have hitched their wagon to the transgender movement.
I have no idea what people think the benefits to becoming a radical feminist are that would make us abandon the supposed truth. Feminism, like, actual "we need to liberate women" feminism, has never been popular. I suppose they just think I'm foaming at the mouth with hatred l every time I imagine a trans woman, despite the fact that I've spent months of my time and thousands of dollars emotionally and financially supporting MTFs in my life, who I thought were intensely vulnerable, because they told me they were and I believed them and loved them and wanted to protect them.
The truth is that I think that gender abolition benefits everyone, but it benefits females the most, because we are the ones meant to be oppressed by gender. If "womanhood" no longer existing means that "trans womanhood" no longer has any meaning, I see that as necessary. It's not oppression or repression to say your penis and Y chromosome make you male, especially since being male doesn't mean anything inherent about your personality or goals or feelings. It is oppression to say that female people need to sit down and shut up about gender because it makes some male people feel better about their bodies. For every woman killed, disfigured, disabled, maimed, beaten, raped, belittled, barred from education or work, forced to be pregnant or forced to abort: I HAVE to be a feminist, I HAVE to understand that being female is what makes you the target of misogyny, and for that I must know what female is.