My boy Ash finally won his first major league conference, I’m so proud 😭
Here he is with all the badges and awards he collected along the way

@theartofmadeline

pixel skylines
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
🪼
Stranger Things
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One Nice Bug Per Day

Kiana Khansmith
wallacepolsom
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noise dept.
EXPECTATIONS
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

if i look back, i am lost
The Stonewall Inn
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NASA
occasionally subtle
seen from United Kingdom
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@restlesstsukiriver
My boy Ash finally won his first major league conference, I’m so proud 😭
Here he is with all the badges and awards he collected along the way
American Girl stories were the best tbh
Dude, read the books, she and her mom freed themselves in Book 1. We don’t disrespect American Girl in this house
Don’t you dare disrespect Addy, or any of my girls for that matter. American Girl used to be legit. Good stories, good dolls, good movies.
Felicity’s story was set in the beginnings of the American Revolution, and addressed the conflict that she faced when her loved ones were split between patriots and loyalists. It also covered the effects of animal abuse, and forgiving those who are unforgivable.
Samantha’s stories centered around the growth of industrial America, women’s suffrage, child abuse, and corruption in places of power. Also, it emphasises how dramatically adoption into a caring family can turn a life around.
Kit’s story is one of my favorites. Her family is hit hard by the Great Depression, and they begin taking in boarders and raise chickens to help make ends meet. Her books include themes of poverty, police brutality, homelessness, prejudice, and the importance of unity in difficult times.
Molly’s father, a doctor, is drafted during the Second World War. Throughout her story, friends of hers suffer the loss of their husbands, sons, and brothers overseas. Her mother leaves the traditional housewife position and works full-time to help with the war effort. They also take in an English refugee child, who learns to open up after a life of traumatic experience.
American Girl stories have always featured the very harsh realities of America through the years. But they’re always presented honestly, yet in ways that kids can understand. They just go to show that you don’t have to live in a perfect time to be a real American girl.
Dont you fucking dare disrespect the American Girls in my house. ESPECIALLY Addy!! That was my first REAL contact with the horrors of slavery, as I read about her father being whipped and sold and her mother escaping with her to freedom, but also how freedom was still a struggle.
A slave doll. Please. Read the books.
We Have Your (insert name here)
This started out innocently enough, and then I…kind of went overboard. Enjoy.
-
Kidnapper: We have your son.
Bruce: Which one?
Kidnapper: Which…? Um…black hair, blue eyes-
Bruce: *tired sigh* You’re going to have to be more specific.
Kidnapper: P-pissed off, super snarky–
Bruce: More
Kidnapper: M-more?
Bruce: More specific than that.
-
Kidnapper: We have your brother.
Dick: OH NO
Dick: OHNONONO WHICH ONE!?
Kidnapper: It doesn’t matter, which one. You have twenty-four hours to–
Dick: IT’S DAMIAN ISN’T IT I CAN TELL BY THE SOUND OF HIS BREATHING DAMI DON’T WORRY I’ll BE THERE IN FIVE
Kidnapper: …
Kidnapper: *to his partner* He says he’ll be here in…in five?
Kidnapper 2: Or what? The kidnapping’s free?
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Kidnapper: We have your daughter.
Barbara: ….
Kidnapper: I said we have your–
Barbara: Yeah, I heard you. You have Cassandra. You’re calling me from the basement of a club in the Diamond District called the ‘Lucky Blue’ and I can tell you your date of birth, social security number, and bank account PINs right now. Are you sure you’d like to play this game?
Kidnapper: Wh–
Barbara: Oh, and by the way, you are gravely mistaken. You don’t have her. She has you.
Kidnapper: *disconnected screaming*
Barbara: Heh. That’s my girl.
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Kidnapper: We have your brother.
Jason: Cool. Tell him I said ‘hi’.
Kidnapper: …
Jason: *hangs up*
Kidnapper: …
Kidnapper: He says…um…’hi’…
Dick: Oh, sweet. Did you say hi back? Please tell me you said hi back.
Jason: *kicks down the door*
Dick: Hey, bro!
Jason: *sighs*
Jason: *cocks gun* The things I do for you freeloading–
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Kidnapper: We have your brother.
Steph: My BROTHER brother, or my boyfriend brother? Or do you mean my boyfriend brother’s boy-slash-friend brother? Or do you mean my not-quite-dad’s son brother? Or my new brother who is sort of terrified of everyone? Or–
Kidnapper: *hangs up*
Kidnapper to Tim, who’s tied to a chair: Do you have…anyone else we could call?
Tim: Would you like to talk to my boy-slash-friend brother, my oldest brother figure, or my not-really-related-but-still-kinda-sorta-little brother? If they’re not available you can try my brainy sister, my bad**s sister, my punk sister or my lesbian aunt. Or–
Kidnapper: I will pay you to just…leave.
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Kidnapper: We have your brother.
Damian: Sorry, I don’t accept returns.
Kidnapper: …
Damian: *hangs up*
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Kidnapper: We have your brother.
Tim: Oh, sweet. You can take his ransom out of the $50 he owes me.
Kidnapper: I don’t und–
Tim: Jason? If you can hear this, I’m cutting you off. No more begging me for cash to buy tamagotchis off the internet.
Jason: *through his gag* IF YOU LET JAY JR. STARVE WHILE IM GONE–
Tim: Oh, and just a tip: remember to use a few extra layers of duct tape. He’s a biter.
Kidnapper: I–
Tim: *hangs up*
-
(Cass got to the kidnappers before they even picked up the phone.)
-
Kidnapper: We have your brother.
Duke: Man, how can I ever thank you?
Bruce has all these calls recorded and plays them for the League
ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES (1993) dir. Barry Sonnenfeld
#Someday i gotta write the fic where Mortica meets a Pastel Goth and has to revaluate her Aesthetic Philosophies#Morticia my darling! You have The Vapours!#I never Knew Gomez!#I never knew pink could be so menacing! It was like looking into a terifying parallel dimension! it was wretched! It was horrifying!#It was- She collapsed onto the fainting couch in Peak Gothic Fashion- EXHILARATING
This was far too good to leave in the tags
one little detail i love from the novel is that when crowley is in his flat waiting for the apocalypse he starts trying to stress clean. but everything is already organized so he can't. that's so stupidly adorable i can just imagine him in the bookshop and in a moment of distress organizing aziraphale's books and being like. "IT'S CALLED THE DEWEY DECIMAL SYSTEM YOU ASSHOLE WHO RAISED YOU"
i think he does occasionally stress-clean the bookshop and aziraphale would HATE IT
“It’s exactly how it’s supposed to be, thank you very much. I have in the optimal configuration for dissuading potential book-buyers and I won’t have you messing it up,” he says, handing Crowley one of the 3D puzzles he’s learned to keep around for these occasions.
I don’t think Crowley would ever dare trying to stress clean or stress organize Aziraphale’s bookshop, he’s got too much respect for his boundaries for that. But Aziraphale noticing him being stressed out and keeping around puzzles for such occasion ? YES. GOOD. EXCELLENT. Headcanon approved. ( Maybe he keeps other things around to occupy him, such as embroideries, coloring books, stuff like that to keep his hands and mind busy ... )
Not that he’d ever admit it, but Crowley is a champion knitter.
It’s completely by accident; there was, about seventy years ago, a older lady who would sit outside the bookshop and knit while she watched the people go by.
For a week, Crowley watched the woman, and then finally, he had to know. He sat down on the bench beside her, offered her one of the pastries he’d brought for breakfast, and asked the question. “What are you doing?”
The old woman had carefully put the knitting away, took one of the jelly pastries, and answered. “I’m dyig, my dear.”
Crowley had been stunned. “Dying like...”
“Dying like, I’m sixty years old and I have cancer that they can’t treat. So I come out here to this lovely shop, I watch the people who are alive, and I knit for my granddaughter. She’s just about to turn one, and I won’t live to see her turn two. So I knit their stories for her.” After finishing the pastry, she pulled out the blanket that she was working. “The pink square, there was a skinny young thing that come through, and her jacket was just that shade of pink. It made me think of something my granddaughter might wear, so it got this square.” She continued on, pointing to each square and giving the reason behind it.
The next day, Crowley brought the woman a bright red yarn.
“Oh, dear, that would be perfect for your hair!”
The day after, Crowley brought her tan.
“Do you know, this is exactly the color of the jacket that the shop owner wears.” Then, “This bench wasn’t always here, did you know that? I came by one day, and I looked for a place near by, but there wasn’t anything. I came the next day, and here it was.”
“Miraculous, really.”
The third day, the woman had a spare pair of needles, and shoved them into Crowley’s hands. “Here, start a blanket of your own. If you’re going to sit here and listen to me, least you can do is knit my stories into your own blanket.”
“I don’t know how,” Crowley admitted, but he held the needles like he saw her holding them.
“Just you watch me, dearie, you’ll get the hang of it.”
Crowley did. By the next week, he was well into his blanket, always kept in her bag, of course.
The third week, the lady wasn’t on the bench, although Crowley waited all day. She wasn’t there the next day, or the next. A week went by, and Crowley knew she had died. Only then did it dawn on him that he didn’t even know her name.
A day later, the bell over Aziraphale’s door jangled, and he heard, “Mr. Crowley?”
“Yeah, that’s me?”
There was a young man, suit and tie, slick and carrying a lumpy brown package. “Do you have some identification?”
Lawyer. Crowley dug his wallet out and showed his identification, and then waited while a pile of papers were brought out. “What’s this, then?”
“There was a codicil to the will of Mrs. Colleen Leyton. She asked that after her death, this package be delivered to Mr. Anthony Crowley, care of A. Z. Fell & Co. bookshop,” he explained. After collecting the required signatures, he passed over the lumpy package. “I’m sorry for your loss, sir.”
Crowley nodded and took the package into the back room of the shop. Sitting on his favorite couch, he opened the package.
His unfinished blanket sat in the wrapper, along with skeins of unused yarn, a photo album, and a thick envelope.
He opened the envelope, and read the letter. Dear Anthony, I know that you are not going to accept this, but I don’t truly mind. You asked me once why I didn’t fight, why I didn’t keep going. This photo album will answer that. My husband is gone, my children are either passed away or simply don’t care to come home. My granddaughter will lilkely never get the blanket that I made her, and that’s all right, too.
You finish yours, young man. And then you make another. And another. For as long as you’re alive, you knit your stories. That nice shop owner, Mr. Fell, he told me your name. I hope you don’t mind. But he thought you wouldn’t think to tell me, and you didn’t. It’s funny, but I never thought to ask. You were my friend, Anthony, when I didn’t have any others.
Knit that into a square. And then knit one for your friend Mr. Fell.
I’ll see you again someday.
Colleen
Crowley has never opened the photo album.
But Priscilla Leyton, on her second birthday, received a package from London with a beautiful hand-knit blanket from her grandmother.
And when Crowley gets frustrated, angry, or upset?
He knits.
I'm sobbing. What a beautiful story
@oldearthaccretionist
#it just seemed like something you'd like
You were absolutely correct 😭
*gesturing to the crow perched on my shoulder* the invitation said we could bring a plus one
[ID: Drawing of Taako, an elven man with tan skin and long blond hair tied in a braid. He wears clothes of varying shades of blue. He gestures to a large raven perched on his shoulder. Speech bubble lines indicate he is speaking the above text. End ID]
If that doesn’t say ‘suck my dick, Nazis’. I don’t know what does
Over 113, now! He missed celebrating his Bar Mitzvah because of the first World War, so he finally observed it September 2016, a hundred years later.
Just checked, and he’s still alive! He’ll be 114 on September 15th.
Happy 114th Birthday!!!
He unfortunately died on August 11, 2017. He lived 113 years, 330 days.
May his memory be a blessing.
My Magnum Opus
hey @mrosenkovs
flowershop au where, after Danny’s accident, the Fentons’ ghost hunting business is shut down. they decide instead to go into flowers, where they make their mark selling a rare specialty flower: blood blossoms.
Hashirama must have been so frustrating in his time. Like, he was THAT powerful. Could probably crush me to pieces with his arms and well-built torso. Then he has the fucking nerve to look both hot AND adorable? Both when he's happy and when he's mad and serious? Why. He's too strong. Why wasn't he nerfed. How can any shinobi not face that and go "Yes, take me."? Sure, he'd probably interpret that as "Joining my village in the name of peace!" and not a come-on, but still. It's totally unfair.
Madara i think you’re projecting.
★ DEMON SLAYER CORPS | THE NINE PILLARS ★
sparknotes social media part 2
(part one)
Oh god the first Mulaney one.
“Poor little parrot, killed by the high temperatures..”
“Ah no, it’s a corn”
One Piece chapter 956
–
based on these passages from the odyssey and the aeneid (and i think it might have happened in the iliad too, though i can’t remember where):
athena and aphrodite know EXACTLY what matters and that is HEROIC BIMBOFICATION!
Berkeleymews dump
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Credit: twitter | facebook | tumblr | instagram
Every single one of these is pure gold.