#thank u for ur honesty magneto
“Magneto proclaims himself as the supreme gay, but considers that Thor might be gayer.”
Confirmed: magneto is a top but he’d bottom for thor
Wouldn’t we all
Misplaced Lens Cap
One Nice Bug Per Day

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Claire Keane
h

oozey mess
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!

No title available
official daine visual archive
Color Me Curious
$LAYYYTER
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr

shark vs the universe
RMH

Discoholic 🪩
taylor price
hello vonnie
tumblr dot com

Origami Around

Product Placement

seen from Netherlands
seen from Switzerland
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye

seen from United States

seen from Netherlands
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from Indonesia
seen from Kenya

seen from Brazil

seen from Cambodia
seen from Brazil
seen from Philippines

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Portugal
seen from United States

seen from Tunisia

seen from Mexico
@roseinthethornbush
#thank u for ur honesty magneto
“Magneto proclaims himself as the supreme gay, but considers that Thor might be gayer.”
Confirmed: magneto is a top but he’d bottom for thor
Wouldn’t we all
I found a new way to generate landmasses for your dnd games and trpgs or whatever else, fantasy series, etc.
Now you may be familiar with the bean or d20 method, and its a nice method, but I find it sometimes can be odd with its landmassed and the beans can scatter too randomly.
So I present you the tangerine method:
Peel a tangerine then use the pieces how they peel off and arrange them into landmasses of your choosing as above and voila here's your new campaign world.
Bonus you get to eat tasty tangerine foing it too.
Nice method op
Hey Tumblr,
How you been? Still accusing me of being involved in Princess Diana’s death? Ha ha! You little rascals (All will be revealed on The Crown Season 5, but I will have gone underground by then.)
Here’s an exclusive photo of me and movie star Jake Gyllenhaal who you know from “Prisoners” and “John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch.” I am posting it here first because my phone wasn’t synced to the Tumblr app and so I wasn’t being a good and active member of the community the way I had hoped. I still have probably the best layout of any Tumblr page ever. Scroll through the “Archives” and remember all the good times we have had.
I wish you all the most glorious of Tuesdays,
John
I love how Half-Life and Portal took place in the same universe. One is a gritty dystopian future, whilst the other is Wall-E meets Venture Bros.
Like, in Half-Life 2: Episode 2, Eli was so outraged when Kleiner suggested they find Aperture Science technology to defeat the Combine, saying that it would be catastrophic, and I was like “Wow, what kind of terrifying stuff does Aperture Science make?” and then Portal 2 came out a few years later and the place is basically Acme Corporation with mantis men and homicidal robots and I was like “Oh, okay. Yeah Eli was right.”
The real tragedy of Half-Life 3 never getting made is that we’ll never see these two worlds meet, like
Kleiner: We need to stop the Combine’s distruption frequency before it interferes with our equipment even further, but their core is nigh indestructible!
Alyx: Well, we found this Aperture Science gun that turns anything into fruit.
Fruit Gun voiced by Keith Ferguson: shit, let’s be santol
they just swap worlds.
gordom is busy fucking up all of glados’ tests, at her outrage yet joy, because he is very different from all the other subjects.
Meanwhile, the combine is getting their asses kicked with chell and the one (1) hour of combat training she got after the resistance found her crouching in a ditch
sneak preview of steven universe future
The science world is freaking out over this 25-year-old's answer to antibiotic resistance
A 25-year-old student has just come up with a way to fight drug-resistant superbugs without antibiotics.
The new approach has so far only been tested in the lab and on mice, but it could offer a potential solution to antibiotic resistance, which is now getting so bad that the United Nations recently declared it a “fundamental threat” to global health.
Antibiotic-resistant bacteria already kill around 700,000 people each year, but a recent study suggests that number could rise to around 10 million by 2050.
In addition to common hospital superbug, methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA), scientists are now also concerned that gonorrhoea is about tobecome resistant to all remaining drugs.
But Shu Lam, a 25-year-old PhD student at the University of Melbourne in Australia, has developed a star-shaped polymer that can kill six different superbug strains without antibiotics, simply by ripping apart their cell walls.
“We’ve discovered that [the polymers] actually target the bacteria and kill it in multiple ways,” Lam told Nicola Smith from The Telegraph. “One method is by physically disrupting or breaking apart the cell wall of the bacteria. This creates a lot of stress on the bacteria and causes it to start killing itself.”
The research has been published in Nature Microbiology, and according to Smith, it’s already being hailed by scientists in the field as “a breakthrough that could change the face of modern medicine”.
Before we get too carried away, it’s still very early days. So far, Lam has only tested her star-shaped polymers on six strains of drug-resistant bacteria in the lab, and on one superbug in live mice.
But in all experiments, they’ve been able to kill their targeted bacteria - and generation after generation don’t seem to develop resistance to the polymers.
Continue Reading.
Yes. All the yes. Women in STEM deserve ALLLLLLLL the applause. All of it. And cake. All the cake, too.
The science world is freaking out over this 25-year-old’s answer to antibiotic resistance: from Edward the Booble http://bit.ly/2MABk2O via IFTTT
I love this solution because it’s just… So simple. Everyone is getting deeper and deeper into pharmacology trying to find new stuff and new combos that’ll overcome bacterial resistance (while Big Pharma rakes in the profits) and this student was like “what if.. We just.. Physically rip it the fuck apart?? What’s it gonna do? Develop resistance to me cutting a bitch?”
Iconic
Medicine: How do we defeat anti-biotic resistant super bugs?
Shu Lam: What if we just beat the shit out of it?
had a dream last night that my alarm was connected to twitter and everytime i hit snooze it publicly tweeted it with a disparaging little message along the lines of “filthy horrible boy has slapped the screen again, and slumbers on” so that your followers could shame you and i was deeply, DEEPLY humiliated but that did not stop me from hitting snooze upwards of 14 times
hey op! i couldnt sleep until i built this! you motherfucker!
just gotta “borrow” my sister’s alarm clock
get that twitter api, write the bot in some python bc god is dead n slap together some fuckin UI with legos
your idiot self wants to sleep in???? hit that snooze button a couple times???? (maybe 4 times in a row)?? disgusting.
twitter knows! bc it posts how many times youve hit it. fuck you
the next step is NOT profit. noone profits. everybody loses. go home.
you are doing god’s work
Things Not to Do in a Cemetery
By someone who works at one.
Please don’t leave glass items on your loved one’s grave. I understand the urge, really I do. But those vases/picture frames/beer bottles/fancy solar lights/etc are gonna break eventually, and be a pain in the ass for everyone involved.
Different cemeteries have different regulations when it comes to what’s allowed in the park and what’s not, and some are more lenient than others about enforcing those regulations. If you’re not sure, ask someone who works there.
If you put up tiny plastic fences and solar lights and garden decorations around your loved one’s space it will probably be removed at some point bc y’all… The grounds crew needs to mow the grass. And some of that stuff is probably technically against the rules anyways, but everyone’s trying to be nice about it.
Do not sit on or lean against any of the markers or memorials. They may all be made of granite, but the upright ones will flop right over if you push them hard enough, and if the ground is wet the flats will sink into the dirt. Also it’s fucking rude. If someone sees you sitting on their mom’s headstone, they might just kick your ass.
Decorations around a grave will be removed if they are broken, or if a grave side service/ burial is going to take place nearby. We do need to bring heavy machinery in to dig graves, and for outside services there are also tents and chairs laid out. If you notice the decorations have been disturbed, it’s probably not vandalism BUT if you’re not sure, it never hurts to ask.
I personally don’t care if you want to place food or drink on your loved one’s grave. It’s very common. But if you complain about ants all over the headstone, and I go out to see that it’s because you left a whole ass packet of oreos and an open six pack of corona, I’m not gonna be impressed or happy. Like I’ll be nice about it, but I will think you’re a dumbass.
If the cemetery allows you to bring pets into the park, that’s great. That’s chill. Please pick up after them. No one likes to see a big pile of dog shit in the middle of the cremation garden.
Do not fuck in the cemetery. I swear to fucking god. Don’t even make out in the cemetery. You shouldn’t be doing that shit in public anyways. I don’t care about your morbid goth fetish. Some grandma is going to see you getting frisky next to her son’s grave, and beat you to death with her purse and the ten pounds of silk floral arrangements she brought to place there.
Don’t be afraid to visit. We want these parks to be a place where you can both mourn and celebrate the person who died. I regularly see families who have picnics out there, especially on holidays. If you haven’t visited in a while and aren’t sure where your loved one is, ask someone on staff. It’s our job to help you find them, and no one is going to judge you for visiting for the first time in like 10 years.
Due to recent events, I have decided to update my list.
Do not be naked in the cemetery.
…I would like OP to expand on ‘recent events’ here.
Astronaut readjusts to life back on Earth
> Don’t give him a baby for a while.
HE GRABS THE CUP BUT THEN HE DROPS THE PEN 0.0003 SECONDS LATER
AND HE LOOKS UP AT THE CEILING INSTEAD OF AT THE GROUND WHEN HE CAN’T FIND THEM
I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING HE JUST DROPS IT
IT’S NOT FUNNY IT’S VERY LOGICAL THAT HE WOULD HAVE ADJUSTED TO LIVING LIFE WHILE HE WAS IN SPACE BECAUSE IT’S DIFFERENT FROM EARTH BUT I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE
*THUNK*
i love it so much every time i see it
“ugh stupid gravity”
Reblog if you are annoyed by gravity
if u cut off my dick two more will grow in its place
Promise?
this is the strangest and most thought provoking response I’ve ever received on a post
Very curious doggo
Reminder that puffins are extremely social and like to fit in with their friends, so they will adopt mannerisms and interests of the group. So there is a good chance this little guy is trying to be friends with the photographer by showing his interest in the camera.
TIL photographers are a lot like puffins, cuz we also make friends by showing interest in your camera XD
Reminds me of the time researchers were trying to get puffins to land in a specific area so the put decoys up to draw them in but the decoys only had 1 leg and
I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”
when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”
One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”
One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”
She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed
Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.
i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it
but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”
as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”
there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”
the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”
one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”
I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.
Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.
Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.
I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”
i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.
I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”
Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside
I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.
In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”
I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.
My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.
my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area
I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool
a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”
Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.
The other day they had me working with softserve and fried dough. I was burned out because I kept bouncing back and forth between the fryer and my register and these people had like, 8 things in their order. We get to the ice cream part of the order, and it comes in a bowl or cone. Instead of saying “Would you like the vanilla in a bowl or cone?” I said “Would you like the bowl in a vanilla or cone?” And we all stopped and had to think that through as my cart runner is staring me down like “tf are you doing?”
I work at Hardees and we have to yell “thank you” whenever we’re told to do something because of how loud the kitchen is.
One morning, my mom hollered at me to wake up, and half-asleep me yells at full volume,
“THANK YOU”
i work with dogs, and i have to be a bit strict with them sometimes in order to keep fights from breaking out. recently, while making tea, the kettle started boiling sooner than i wanted, so without thinking i turned around sharply, pointed my finger at it and stared it down, and said, “Bad boy! You need to wait!” needless to say i was very glad i was alone
I know I’ve reblogged this a billion times but I’ve worked retail for 8 years and these things are never not funny.
I work with horses and whenever someone’s driving too fast I’ll say stuff like “whoa” and I’ve tried to click to a car because that’s a cue for a horse to go faster.
My aunt was a kindergarten teacher and when she was trying to gather everyone at a family reunion for prayer she called “One two three, eyes on me” and then exclaimed “oh! It works on adults!”
I just had a Fan-Fucking-Tastic idea for a villain!
This character is just called Red Rose, in their footsteps wild roses bloom no matter where. Everybody thinks they’re just a joke until they see how fast they can move, how hard they can grab someone’s face, and see the roses that sprout where the victims eyes should be and bloom out their mouth. A single punch to the gut will have someone coughing up petals and choking on thorny stems.
This was meant to be a quick warm up, but it turned into a comic that I’ve wanted to draw for a while. This is something that is extremely important to me, and I appreciate it if you read it.
A while ago, I heard a story that broke my heart. A family went a cat shelter to adopt. The daughter fell in love with a 3-legged cat. The father straight up said “absolutely not”. Because he was missing a leg. That cat was that close to having a family that loved him, but the missing leg held him back. Why?!
Many people have the initial instinct of “nope” when they see an imperfect animal. I get it, but less-adoptable does NOT mean less loveable. 9 out of 10 people will choose a kitten over an adult cat. And those 10% that would get an adult cat often overlook “different” animals.
All I want people to do is be open to the idea of having a “different” pet in their lives. Choose the pet that you fall in love with, but at least give all of them a fair shot at winning your heart.
Don’t dismiss them, they deserve a loving home just as much as any other cat. They still purr, they still love a warm lap, they still play, they still love you. Trust me, next time you are in the market for a new kitty, just go over to that one cat that’s missing an eye and see what he’s all about!
Let me tell to you a thing.
This is Lenore. I first saw her in a little cage at the Petco I frequent (I used to take my parents’ dog in for puppy play time), and she looked like the grouchiest, old, crotchety cat in the world, and I fell instantly in love. She was cranky, she was anti-social, hanging out at the back of her cage. Her fur was matted because she wouldn’t let the groomers near her.
She was perfect.
But I didn’t have a place for her. I wasn’t living in my own space yet, and where I was, I wasn’t allowed cats. So I pressed my face to the bars of her cage and I promised that if no one had adopted her by the time I’d bought a house, I would come back for her.
I visited her every week for over six months while I looked for a house. At one point, they had to just shave her entire rear-end because the mats of fur were so bad. They told me she clawed the heck outta the groomer that did it, screamed the entire time, and spent the next two days growling at anyone that came near the cage.
A couple of weeks later, I closed on my house. I went back and I got an employee, and I said: “That one. I need that cat.”
They got the paperwork and the lady who ran the rescue that was bringing the cats in told me that Lenore (at the time, Lila) was 8 years old, had been owned by an elderly lady who had died, and brought in to a different rescue, who’d had her for six months on top of the time I’d been seeing her at Petco.
This kitty had been living in a 3x3’ cube for over a YEAR because she was older and “less adoptable.”
I signed the paperwork, put her in a cat carrier, and drove her to my new home. I had pretty much nothing; a bed, an old couch, a couple of bookcases, and a tank of mice I called “Cat TV”. I let her out of the carrier and onto my bed, and I told her “I told you I would come back for you when I had a place. It’s not much, but it’s yours too now.”
Lenore spent the next three days straight purring non-stop. She followed me around the house purring. Sat next to me purring. Slept next to me purring. Leaning into every touch, purring, purring, always purring. She still purrs if you so much as think about petting her. She’s amazing, and I love her.
So, you know, if you’re thinking about adopting, and you see a beast that others consider “less adoptable,” think about Lenore.
Dangit I’m crying
Crying, too! I don’t care if this is off-topic; it’s too important not to share.
As a humane society volunteer I cannot scroll past this. Please, adopt our older animals!
those Spotify Wrapped ads are popping up around Chicago and could you imagine seeing a fucking billboard calling you out specifically. like, if i saw an ad that said “to the person in Chicago who listened to a playlist called ‘depwession’ for 800 hours…please call a therapist” i’d fly to Spotify HQ with the head of Ed Sheeran and declare war on their kind
bec, much like the creme brulee brownie recipe, the spotify ads are not real. they were written by advertisers. they are telling lies. writing is fake. i know this in my heart to be true because i have LOOKED for the clam meditation playlist
several things about this reply haunt me. first of all this person referred to me by first name even tho i don’t know them, my name’s not on my blog, and they don’t follow me. second of all they told me something that is almost certainly true and i am 100% galaxy brained over it. can u dm me? tell me secrets
shoutout to paris hilton for not abandoning her ‘micropig’
when it turned out that it was a normal piggy who grew up to be a big fat fatty piggu
Actually that’s pretty standard size for a micro pig. Pigs are ENORMOUS, dude. The average pig on a farm is 7 feet long and over 700 lbs. A normal pig would be much bigger than Hilton.
EDIT: This is a photo of the world’s smallest recognized breed of pig, the kune kune. I’m sorry cartoons lied to you all.
This is the pot bellied pig, another famous “small” breed.
This is your average adult pig.
Big ole’ pigs.
Wild boars can feed people for a very long time! I believe this one was 1800 lbs. (largest piggy ever was about 1,984 lbs)
I NOW KNOW WHY WILD BOARS WERE SO DANGEROUS IN THE DARK AGES HOLY SHIT; RICHARD III I TAKE BACK ALL THE TRASH I TALKED ABOUT YOUR HOUSE CREST GOOD GOD THAT’S TERRIFYING.
Also, don’t let the size full you, they can run as fast if not faster then your average dog. Those fat pink fuckers will come for you!!!
O I N K O I N K
M O T H E R F U C K E R
All the tropes are infront of you. Every day for the past week you’ve been seeing the new girl walking around town. Always singing to animals and followed by a sidekick pet. Her boyfriend even being described as “Prince Charming” by various people in town.
Quickly the songs grow irritating, there are animals everywhere, and her bubbly optimism wears down your patience. You recognize that this has become a fairytale, and you’re likely the villain.
At least I’ll get a bomb ass villain song