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@sliverose24
Blog Master post
Index:
Prompts - DC x DP
Batfam prompt
Fics - DC x DP
Art
Fic - Slugterra
Prompts - DC x DP
Please, write about this
A date is the first step to information gathering
Desktop pet
Danny is red hood
A mirror of the past
Kids gang
Exams Week
Twin nurture project
Hibernation
~An idea I had about Jazz being a forensic scientist~
*in the batcave at the end of reporting a lack of evidence for a case*
Bruce: I'll have to confer with the GCPD forensics.
Tim: uh, B, maybe we should wait for Cass to get back from the trip with Steph and Babs before we do that.
Bruce: Hnn
Jason: Why do we need to wait for Cass?
Dick: Cause Duke is off duty for finals and Damian is on a mission for the titans? Cass is the best option at the moment.
Jason: that doesn't answer my question.
Everyone: .....
Tim: Do you not know the situation with Dr. Nightingale?
Jason: I don't even know who that is
Dick: She's the newest head forensics who B pissed off enough that she perma-banned Batman from her lab.
Bruce: Hmm
Jason: so... B got everyone on this Dr Nightingale's shit list
Dick: It used to be only B, but after I nicked a detonater from the bombing incident 6 months ago I haven't been welcomed back; and Babs been on thin ice from trying to hack into Dr. Nightingale work computer
Jason: what about Replacement
Tim: She won't let me or Steph set foot in the building. I dont know why. We haven't done anything yet, but everytime she meets us at what ever entrance were using, hands us a file of the case's forensic data, and then closes the door, window, whatever.
Tim grumbling under his breath: But she adores Damian. Serving him drinks, giving him fudge, answering questions, letting him take whatever evidence he asks for
Dick bemoaning: do you have to mention the fudge
Jason: whats up with the fudge
Dick: it's Alfred cookie tier
(Wait, I love this sm)
Jason: What? Now I HAVE to go check this out
Tim: Uh. Wait, Jason—
Jason: See ya!
Hours later
Jason:
Batfam: ….
Batfam: So how was your visit?
Jason: Kinda odd but surprisingly pleasant.
Bruce:
Bruce: Elaborate?
Jason: She took one look at me, pulled me inside her lab, and then asked me a whole bunch of random questions. We talked for several hours and then she said nothing else while she gave me the reports for the last few cases and a pan of fudge before she pushed me out the door.
Dick: … what questions did Dr. Nightingale ask?
Jason: She asked me where I was d when I was 15 to 16, then my favorite flavor of dessert and food, and then she asked about my favorite book. Then we talked about Shakespeare for a few hours and it somehow turned into a conversation about my activities as the Red Hood…
Jason: Btw, you never told me she was hot
Tim: … we’re more focused on getting our reports from her, since she’s the best at gaining clues from the victims amongst her colleagues at the GCPD.
Jason: Fair enough.
Bruce: Was that all she said to you?
Jason: She also told me to share the fudge with Damian and to come by next week for the next report on the new body.
Tim:
Bruce:
Dick:
The Batfam:
Tim: Did we just witness the birth of an unholy union between a crime lord and a forensic pathologist?
Danny Fenton, a new receptionist at Wayne Enterprises:
Vicky Vale, knowing Danny Is Not Ready for her: So, where does Bruce Wayne leave for during his meetings? A new woman? Man? Trouble in the family?
Danny "Town Menace Phantom" Fenton, done with Genderbent Wes Weston: To fuck your mom.
Bruce's experienced receptionist that left for 6 seconds: okay, Danny no--
Danny, who knows something's up with the Wayne family: and your Dad, because we support the LGBTQIA community. Thank you and leave.
The batfam watching the security log later cannot stop laughing.
Tim: ... I know I can't justify it... But I want to give him a raise.
Bruce: He's definitely not going to be reprimanded. If I see his name with a complaint?
Tim: No you didn't. Got it B. I've never seen her look so offended. I'm in awe!
-----
Vicky Vale absolutely posted about it on Twitter to complain. And Danny? The gremlin? Retweeted it.
*Well if you'd respect my boss's right to privacy? Sorry, not sorry!*
Tucker and Sam are laughing with him when they all see Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake-Wayne retweeted it..... Oh no. At least he got thumbs up from both? And... That's the rest of the extended Wayne clan commenting....
Danny: Did I just go viral for being a bit shy receptionist?
Tucker: ... You need to commit to the bit! You need the nails!
Sam: And the hair!
Danny: ... Fuck it we ball! Where do I get decent fake nails?
Oh the nail technicians would have a BLAST. He just throws open the door and ANNOUNCES "I need the Bitchiest(tm) most reporter offending nails you've GOT!"
Like? (◇.◇ ) *eye glint* Our Time Has Come.
This is GOTHAM, sweetie. They have been WAITING for this day.
Do you have ANY idea how long they have bitched and moaned, strike that, LAMENTED that poor Brucie "himbo" Wayne did not have someone willing to slash tires, guarding his beautiful but emptied headed back?
It's been like watching people bully a golden retriever.
Aim for her "standards of journalism, who's she?" Mother Fuckin, expensive suit bought with himbo tormenting blood money, never heard of BOUNDARIES havin' FACE!
Sandra! Get over here! We need that polish you made! Yeah. The "probably legal" one! Honey... you're gonna be able to SHANK people when we're done~
And Danny is just? Absolutely stars in his eyes. They... they ENABLE the ghost boy? Oh! Bonus for nail technicians! Bonus 1000 years!
Tell him about the clicky clacky stabby heels!
Sam and Tuck have slight regrets. Don't get them WRONG, they'll always support Danny in whatever he does. But like... they were UNAWARE they were letting Feral Racoon With A Biting Problem Man meet his PEOPLE, here? His fashionable, fashionable, delicately perfumed people.
Paulina is laughing at them over the phone because SHE knew. The beauty culture in Gotham is just... Like That(tm). Now she's texting Danny tips. Sam feels vaguely betrayed. Danny... Danny how could you?
Paulina, Danny? You go to HER for "making grown adults cry" tips? In front of Sam's SALAD, Danny? On this? The day of her non-existent daughter's wedding?? Dead to her! Disowned! It's like she doesn't even KNOW you anymore!
Tucker is just trying to see how many "technically legal" "self defense" devices he can fit into one of those fashion corset thingies. Is looking up if it's legal to walk around with stiletto knives if... and bare with him... they were shoes.
He says double down everything they tell him not to do something. Commit to the bit Danny! Fuck it, weaponizable feminine clothing! Maybe he might ACTUALLY get a date out of this! (Danny and Sam: Eeeeeh.. *so-so, it's unlikely hand motion*) If nothing ELSE, it'll help him break into the tech markets! He needed a niche anyway.
Why NOT? It's GOTHAM! You work for the WAYNE'S! Free advertising AND a ready buyers market! Be gay, Danny! Do crimes! Now take these fishnets strong enough to choke out a supersolider without tearing and leave him to market research!
Danny... is getting kinda worried about Tucker. I mean, the tights are cool! But uuuuh.. *hands to sam* Lookin little Mad Scientist around the eyes their buddy... Have you been talking to Mr. Wayne's son again? You KNOW you n Tim feed off each other in some sort of unholy spirally pit of madness, from which neither of you willingly choose to escape.
We confiscated your phone. You're not getting Barbra BACK until you sleep, man.
(Tucker: NEVER! Traitors to the cause!)
But like? A terrifying Goth, a possible mad scientist, and the SINGLE most FERAL GNC Fae-like secretary in the history of forever, walk into Wayne Industries Monday morning.
Yes they work there. No you can't make them leave.
Yes you SHOULD pick a God and pray.
Danny LIKES his new nails~ they got STARS on um~♡ and can poke through STEEL! :3c Now? Now he shall cause terrible people Problems On Purpose(tm).
>:3c
PLEASE HOLD. *elevator music*
@hdgnj @stealingyourbones
Am I the only one who thinks of this woman and her Lipstick Taser?
Tim sees him walk in... And has to take a moment. Danny's gone full Gina Linetti. Oh... This will be Glorious!
Tim speed walks to him, he has to see the nails.
Tim: I need a photo. Please?
Well, how can Danny say no to a fellow chaos gremlin? Tucker is grinning maniacally, Sam is watching with glee. Half of the office have run for the hills.
Danny: Sure thing boss! They gave me solar system nails! And, you should see what they put in this suit!
Sam: Tucker may have gone overboard. But the sales assistant at the mall definitely encouraged it. They convinced him to go for the rogue attack fashion line. Danny could double as security right now!
Tim:.... Tucker added to it as well?
Danny: I did too! We can give you the blueprints? Maybe add to the Wayne fashion line? Oh! And these nails? Absolutely deadly weapons. I had no idea they could do that.
Tucker: Once they saw it was for Danny? To fend off the sharks? They brought out the good stuff!
The picture of the four of them is taken by a grinning Tam. And quickly uploaded to Tim's official twitter. After all. If people are warned in advance they can't complain right?
Okay. Hear me out. Just to feed the Drama he convinces Ivy and Harely to pick him up for "girls night out"
The birds of prey reach out to Danny. Of course he says yes! They have things they can teach him!
before the end of the evening he knows how to open windows by mocking the glass with his fingernails. How to make wounds extremely painful but without real damage. Use a nail file to puncture tires. How to use essential oils yo induce a deceptive mood And Lots Of Other Awesome Stuff And Not Illegal Technical ~
He also has weekly meetings scheduled to learn to run and fight in his new clothes. Damn the clothes pretty but hard to move/fight in compared to his usual.
Paulina is so proud. And he obviously share a all of the things he learns with her. Sam fears their friendship.
For some reason? I am CONVINCED Paulina works as Lex's secretary.
She sits at a desk, chewing sugar free gum loudly when annoyed, ignoring the waiting room, and amusing herself. No one EVER sees her work. She's the single most beautiful woman in the building. She's awful.
All her work is IMMACULATE.
She and Mercy are "besties", whether Mercy agrees to this or not.
She ABSOLUTELY knows that Clark is Superman because she recognizes Cute Guys(tm) at 50 paces and has improved drastically since Danny. Says nothing. Never will.
Doesn't even get up from her seat when he literally sends her boss through a wall in his mech suit.
She is? A BITCH(Respectfully and with great Awe). Like a dragon made into a highly fashionable Latina woman.
Lex ABSOLUTELY scooped her up after meeting her EXACTLY once at a fashion show. She was making investors thrice her age and millions her bank account, cry. Like INFANTS.
What... was he supposed to NOT hire her instantly? He's only vaguely certain she won't STAB him! She delightful and he can't stand her. Best secretary he's ever had.
Any GIW that enter the building chasing after her will NOT be leaving.
When people realise the two crazy secretaries know each other? Went to the same school? Same class? Conspiracy theories are gonna fly. Where did they grow up to become like *gestures vaguely* that!
Lex adores her so much. She stated down Superman. And told him to come back with a warrant. He sets her on people he hates with impunity.
Pauline of course loves this job. She gets to be as bitchy as her heart desires. She has all the tips for Danny. And she has to go to Gotham to get the nails done! She wants them!
The selfie of the two of them getting nails done together? Strikes fear into the hearts of many. Especially people who try to go through them to get to their bosses.
What if photos of them dating (there are some of them when Kitty owned Paulina) become public? people thank their deity that they are not staying together
Everyone praying they don't get married and have kids. That much sass would lead to the MOST sassy, bitchy child. The world does not need that. They already have Red Robin!
Honestly Danny and Paulina having the identical job of "Be a bitch to and get in the way of whoever wants to bother my boss" is so perfect for both of them. Like they're not security because none of what they do involves physical protection(Well it's not supposed to but there have been times security hasn't gotten there fast enough) they're just the bouncers for people their boss doesn't want around. And if the boss wants they can pretend "There's nothing I can do, my hands are tied. If I fire him/her then I'll have so many problems to fix. I'll reprimand them privately" if it ever comes back to hurt their reputation. Then pulling them out back for "Reprimand" and pulling out a Lincoln from their pocket and say "Thanks for giving me an excuse to be in a quiet room while I'm supposed to scold you. Here's a bonus."
I am now imagining a rogue trying to kidnap Bruce. And Danny just.. Nope. Do you have an appointment? Then you have to leave.
The stiletto heels really do the job....
I'm also picturing that Danny is wearing an Androgynous Gothic Classy look. Since of course Sam couldn't let herself have 0 influence on his look. The classy goth is from Paulina and the birds of prey influencing it. And it being androgynous is because Danny is intentionally trying to be bitchy. Of course he has to be visibly queer to fully pull it off. With small little details of every outfit having a space theme. The nails, the corset having a moon pin helping keep it closed, glitter in his dark black hair, deep purple shirt with some star shaped cuff links and buttons. He could almost pass for another villain at times.
Meanwhile Paulina has Barbie Bitch vibes and wears lovely pink outfits designed in a way that makes it clear she's the boss in the room no matter how powerful you might be.
Lex and Bruce both start giving them an outfit budget since half the time just seeing who the outfits does the job before they even have to open their mouths.
Ok, but DICK? Mr. 'Sluttiest Bat Alive' Grayson? He is LOVING THIS. He's already taught Paulina and Danny some acrobatics, and they're doing them IN HEELS!!!
Fuck.
That's it.
These are his kids now.
@evilminji @hdgnj @stealingyourbones
💜💙💚
People are terrified of when bruce and lex need to meet for business now because they always bring their secretary it started with lex cus he was heading to Gotham he needed "protection" (he really just wanted to see paulina rip into any idiot who tried to approach)
When he gets to wayne enterprises he goes to introduce Paulina only for her to stroll right past him to mr Wayne's by now infamous secretary
She stands in front of the desk a cold look on her face danny stands matching her look camera stare waiting for these to pillers of bitchieness to do something
The tension in the air is palpable its like looking at batman and superman having a stare off you can't tell whos winning
When after what feels like an eternity but twas only but a mere moment both smile "PAULINA DARLING HOW ARE YOU! I've not seen you since high school!" "DANIEL! I'm good! How are you!"
. . . They know each other at once both looked at lex and bruce "we're taking out break" and walked out chatting all the while snippets of their conversation drilling one fact into the minds of everyone... they went to school together
Danny introduces her to the sirens. There are pictures of them having spa days with them. There is no God. They are besties.
Sam loathes it, while loving the drama of it. What did we do?! Tucker look what we did! Tucker loves it. His self defence clothing line was green lit. He is making bank! Sam also added a few more both pieces and is also doing well from it.
Danny and Paulina both happily wear the gifted pieces to display them. Danny with his androgynous goth style. Paulina in bimbo core.
the world is like there is no god, and that is very valid in this situation becuase now danny and paulina will rule the world. maw ha ha
Would Danny be invited to Wayne galas? If so, imagine a rogue trying to crash it and hold everyone hostage before Danny says No and freaking BEATS THE CRAP OUT OF THEM LIKE IT’S NORMAL.
How many Batkids do you think would swoon?
No because imagine that.
Rogue of the week comes in. Danny is like “absolutely not these are my people”. And there’s been no use of ghost powers in this so does he even need to use them? Does he use them slightly? Does he go full eldritch and then gaslight everyone by saying it never happened? I feel like it varies from rogue to rogue.
Riddler: He comes in spouting his particular brand of Bullshit and Danny just. Sighs. He wanted a drama free gala damn it! And then walks over, taps him on the shoulder, and decks him. The beatdown is swift (he may be using a bit of ghostly powers) but sprinkled with one-liners. The media cannot tell if they are seething enemies or best friends at the end of it. I fear the amount of puns I can come up with for this one place it solidly in Death Defying.
Scarecrow: This one comes in, sprays fear gas everywhere, and it has the effect of your choice. Amped up Danny bc he basically just took a stimulant? Danny who says “hmmm, tasty” and then decks scarecrow? ADHD Danny that takes it like caffeine and all of a sudden is 20x more productive? Amped up Danny can hide ghost powers easier bc “it was adrenaline!”. ADHD Danny has the second most potential with comedy bc he walks up to scarecrow after and says “where can I get some of that?” The media thinks Danny’s gonna be the next rogue, while Danny just wants something that tames his rampant ADHD so he can in fact actually work. But Danny who says “mmm tasty”? That bitch is insane. Flicks his tongue out to the gas, hums appreciatively, and then goes to find who is scaring his boss. Scarecrow tries to shove a gas mask full of it onto Danny’s head. He just laughs and uses his nails to stab the man. And then leaves the helmet on. This lends itself to Dead Tired so I just see Tim coming over and being like “hey are you ok?” And watching Danny trying to eat the fear gas. His eyes are green, not blue. He has fangs. Why did no one notice the fangs. Cue Time freaking out, the media having a blast, Bruce wondering how the fuck Danny did that, and Danny basically eating rock candy.
Joker: Oh this bitch gets mauled on sight. Not decked. Not kicked. No fun quips. Danny fucking hates clowns. Danny has made this well known. Danny doesn’t go to the circus, nor the town faire if there will be clowns. He does not like Halloween if there will be clowns. He likes Gotham, tho, bc everyone knows not to dress as a stupid clown. Except, of course, the one bitch who will not be walking straight tomorrow. Danny clocked him coming into HIS bosses gala on the night HE is here to PROTECT his BOSS and this two bit circus clown wants to FIGHT? Oh, he’ll give him a fight. Danny launches over to him, half flying, already clawing down his face. The guests look over to see the bitchiest, most cunt serving secretary absolutely shredding the Joker. No one knows how to react. By the time someone pulls Danny off, the Joker is in ribbons. I can see some sort of “That was for a lot of people, and that was for me to feel better.” Line. Gotham is not used to a sentence without puns or oneliners. Danny doesn’t see a problem. Lends itself to Dead on Main for ghost courting, Dead Silent kinda? For liminal stuff, and the one where he’s with Damian (can’t remember the name) because “Father, he understands! We can tell him about us!”
Apologies if this is inaccurate I just love it when Danny gets to be protective, feral, and serve absolute cunt in the process. Also the ships are based on what age you put Danny and the rest at, I’m pretty sure Dick has been 23 for a while and Timmy is stuck at 17 for now so
Goddamnit now I wanna write a fic
I feel like Wes would eventually understand why what he did was wrong and genuinely apologizes to Danny and his friends and tries to make amends.
But imagine! Wes becomes the next Lois Lane. He could be anywhere in the DCverse, but I think this gets so much funnier if he's in Metropolis with Paulina and Star and working at the Daily Planet. Wes is feared because, while he is respectful to those who deserve it, he is ruthless. He is efficient. And possibly the most terrifying aspect? He's never wrong. Wes is cursed with a minor gift of foresight, which becomes increasingly evident the longer he goes on as an investigative reporter.
SO! The bestie trio is Paulina, the Dragon Lady, who will drag you out of her and her boss's way by your ear while scolding you in Spanish. Who never flinches at anything less than a too-close explosion, and even then, she's still acting like it's a regular day. She has been beating the snot out of people who try to rob LexCorp and will attend galas with Luthor. She glares like she knows all your deepest secrets, and is Very Disappointed in you. She is dressed in Bimbocore 24/7, and somehow that makes her more intimidating??
Danny, the bitchest secretary known to man, with two kids, Ellie and Dante, who like to travel and bring back some of the craziest shit from their adventures. His kids are equally as sassy and bitchy as he is, but they like to spread their chaos around the world. He has scars covering every inch of visible skin, and people are scared to ask about them; not even Vicki Vale wants that smoke. He hates clowns. The Joker gives Wayne Enterprises a wide berth. The Joker fears Him. Danny will fight dirty and pun you every step of the way. He will pocket glitter in your eyes and tell you he's busy after he gets done beating you into the ground.
And Wesley "Wes" Weston. The most "don't give a fuck" man to ever live. He technically works at the Daily Planet, but spends most of his time and career going from city to city. He went to Gotham with Clark Kent once and got held up in a hostage situation. He pulled out a revolver and took out the man's knees without blinking. No hesitation, nothing. It was hard to tell, but Batman seemed mildly impressed.
One fateful day, the three of them cross paths. People on the street stop and stare, waiting for the galdiator fight.
Instead, they start catching up, talking like dear old friends and, turns out, they are. People are scared. They're only glad these three rarely see each other.
And at a gala, they manage to meet with Oliver Queen's secretary, a Miss Valerie Gray, a woman known for shooting first and asking questions last. She is Danny if he were physically intimidating and had the muscles to back up his warnings. (not saying Danny can't back up his warnings, he obviously can, but people are less willing to try her after they get a glance or two at her triceps) She carries no less than three knives and a gun with her at all times. She doesn't fight dirty because she's never needed to. She knows several types of martial arts and isn't afraid to use some poor sod as a training dummy if necessary.
But now Amity Park is getting more tourists than ever because what the fuck happened in the early 2000s that led to this trio, and a few others, coming out of that town like this?!
Okay, I keep updating this, but @a-pan-with-pots said in the comments that Danny is the baby ghost king of the Infinite Realms and the inhabitants would see Danny being a secretary as Danny playing with his dollhouse of Gotham City, and I think that's a beautiful addition, lmao
I ffeel like you could have fun with wes interning under Jimmy olson, foe the sheer chaos Jimmy's life is and the chance for people to see how perfectly in stride wes takes the chaos
I feel like Jazz should have her own Bio-dad Aus Now Bruce is a popular choice for most bio dad AUs, but let's add some variety. Harley Quinn is another popular choice, it kinda fits since they have ties to psychology. But let me give you another choice. Harvey Dent. Let's say Maddie and Harvey met at one of Brucie Wayne's fundraiser events, they hit it off, get a bit tipsy, then boom. Jazz's born. Jazz looks so much like her mum that Maddie doesn't even think that Jazz is not Jack's kid. (She does notice some things about Jazz that she couldn't have gotten from Jack or her, but admitting that would probably ruin her marriage, so she employs blissful ignorance.) Harvey, of course has no idea Jazz exists. Years pass, truths come out (or not), tears are shed, life goes on. Now Jazz is looking at schools, and she finds a good one in Gotham, you know, the home of her bio dad. She decides to reach out to Harvey. So, she talks it over with Jack and Maddie and they agree to let her go. Now you could have Jack and Maddie know that Jazz isn't Jacks kid and approve of her reaching out to Harvey, just them being supportive. Or, you could have them not know anything, and have Jazz do this behind their backs as an attempt to have a semi decent role model in her life. Your choice. But anyway. Here Harvey is, planning something (Next court case or next crime) and then, out of nowhere, a kid shows up on his doorstep saying "Congratulations, it's a girl, where's that child support?" And he's just so confused, like how did she find him (Tucker of course) and where were her parents? Harvey who's very concerned: ehh, you do know I'm a criminal, right? Jazz: My mum and other dad have a portal to hell in the basement, trust me, you're an improvement. Harvey who's even more concerned about this kid: ??????? Or you know, Slade Wilson is also an option.
Jazz is Harvey's and Danny is Bruce's, snippet
Lex Luthor branch
Harvey Dent branch 1, with Duela Dent
Harvey Dent branch 2
Harvey Dent branch 3, where Danny is Slade Wilson and Aunt Alicia's kid
Jazz with De-Aged Triplets of Danny, Dani and Dan. They move to Metropolis. And Jazz made the mistake of not looking at them for 10 seconds.
And now Superman is out her door, holding three - very obviously not human looking - siblings and asked if they were hers. Because, if she was understanding this correctly, at the timeframe she looked away from them - they had somehow gotten out.
Turned Ghost, flew to where Superman was fighting Lex and some other Robots, before bashing them all in as 5-year-old Ghostly Toddlers.
Introduced themselves as Danny, Dani and Dan.
And now the public is calling them the real life 'Powerpuff Girls.'
Jazz needs a break.
"So they're not really toddlers?" asked Ms. Lane, looking Dan over.
"It's a low-power mode," Jazz explained, patting Dani's hair as she napped on her lap, "they're not exactly themselves right now. Frostbite said that their brains are too young to process their older memories, so they don't really know what or who they are.
"Anyways, they'll be back to normal in about a year or so. Until then, they're my headache."
"And this happened... how exactly?"
"Our universe collapsed. We only escaped because they pooled their power together. That's how they ended up like that."
Superman frowned at that, ignoring Danny as he tried to climb his cape, "Were there any other survivors?"
"Yeah, Sam, Tucker, and Val. They're at school right now... they took it hard, but they have a habit of working through the pain. I'd rather they take it easy to work through it, but hey! Whoever listens to the nagging older sister?"
The two reporters exchanged a look.
"But how are you holding up?" asked Lois, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Oh, it's all good," Jazz scoffed, as if she hadn't also lost her home, friends, and family, "I have to be OK. That's my job."
"It doesn't have to be," pointed out Superman, "at the very least, it doesn't have to be just your job."
"How old are you, anyways?" asked Lois.
"Nineteen," she replied, noticed the looks on their face, and hastily added, "but the others help a lot!"
"And how old are they?"
"...Seventeen."
"Much too young to do this alone," sighed the kryptonian, "look, some other superheroes and I are starting a... team of sorts."
"For babysitting?"
"For support," he corrected, "any type of support we might need. The others step in if one of us needs time off, we work together to take on larger threats, stuff like that. None of us has kids yet... well, except Batman, but Robin and Batgirl are teenagers."
"Batman's real?" Jazz was honestly surprised, "Dang it, I owe Sam twenty bucks."
"Wait, how are you making money?" asked Lois.
"Well, the others work part-time at burger joints and stuff, but I work at the mail room at the Daily Planet."
Lois and Clark both made a mental note to check on her when they could.
"You haven't thought about college or anything?" asked Superman.
"I mean... I don't really have time for that right now. It was hard enough to get the kids into school-."
"Kid."
They looked down at the middle triplet, who was staring intently at Jazz from Superman's shoulder.
"Danny?"
"Kid... too..."
His eyes slowly clouded over, ultimately settling into the same wandering look Dani and Dan had, before turning to tug at Superman's hair.
"They have moments like these," she sighed, ''times where their old selves come back. They don't last though."
"He's not wrong though," Superman acknowledged as he put Danny on the floor, "you're not that much older than them."
"Well, you two aren't much older than me either."
"No, we're not," agreed Lois with a chuckle, "but we need help sometimes too. There's no shame asking."
While Jazz was pondering the idea, Dani woke up. She spotted Superman and opened her mouth to scream-
"DUCK!"
-hitting Superman with a beam attack which threw him into a wall.
"Dani!" Jazz scolded the youngest triplet, "What have I said about using your ghostly wail? You're taking the longest to rebuild your ectoplasm as it is!"
Superman picked himself up. Fortunately, he'd caught himself on time to avoid damaging the wall. Ectoplasm stung though.
"Ow."
"... Ok, if someone in your team can make a ghost-proof playpen, I'll consider it."
"Oh, I'm sure Bats knows a guy."
I'm thinking this could be in the cancelled Justice League cartoon that was supposed to be linked to The Batman, but I think it works with any Superman or early JL series. I think it works best if it's set as the League is still forming, mostly because the trio could use the additional support.
"So, yeah, turns out poking too many holes into the fabric of spacetime can unzip a whole universe." Finished Jazz, having spent the last twenty minutes explaining how she and her family got there.
Batman simply stared stoically, taking a moment to process.
"I appreciate you taking the time to explain this. I know it can't have been easy."
"It's... well, it's not fine," she admitted, "but it will be... eventually."
"It doesn't have to be right now," he, rather hypocritically, insisted, "we do have a therapist in the Watch-."
"I don't need it."
If Batman was anywhere near as surprised as Jazz was at the outburst, he certainly didn't show it. Instead, the two stared at each other for a solid minute, before Jazz looked away.
"I wear a mask every day. It has a name, a personality, expectations, and a number of people it answers to... it's name is not Batman."
Jazz looked up at that.
"You don't want to spend too much time wearing a mask."
Elsewhere, Sam was chatting with Wonder Woman.
"I swear, my parents annoyed the hell out of me," she groaned, "they didn't agree with anything I did, had an opinion about everything I liked, and made sure I knew how little they cared about the things I cared about."
"Yet, you miss them."
"...Yeah," she admitted, "why? I mean, I didn't hate my parents, even when I told them I did, but I never thought I'd miss them this much."
Wonder Woman smiled wistfully.
"When I was young, I was the baby of the island. The youngest of them all, so I basically had a mother in every woman of Themyscera."
"That's the badass Amazon warrior island, right?"
"A lot of people are surprised when I tell them this, but not everyone was a warrior. I mean, we were all trained in the ways of war, but not all of us considered that path a lifestyle.
"Some were weavers, cooks, farmers, ranchers, shepherds, singers, dancers, poets, builders, architects, and so on. It takes more than soldiers to run a nation, even a small one like Themyscera."
"And you learned from all of them." Sam guessed.
"Hmm, not always. I was a tad... rambunctious as a child. I didn't always have the patience to learns the fine details of planning a building, weaving, sewing, or knitting... Looking back on it, I regret some of it, now that I cannot see them. They were all trying to teach me what they thought would be valuable to learn for the future, yet I only ever cared about swords, hammers, and shields. I do wish I'd let them teach me to weave sometimes."
"Can't you go back?"
Wonder Woman shook her head, "By leaving Themyscera, I became an exile. I wander the world of Man now, and can only return under very specific circumstances."
"How-?"
She gave Sam a moment to gather her thoughts.
"How do you deal with it?"
"I grieved the loss of my mothers long ago," she took a tissue and dried tears that Sam hadn't noticed on her own face, "but grieving takes time... time that you are not giving yourself."
Sam, for the first time since they arrived, finally gave in and cried like the child she was.
Tucker, for his part, was (trying) to have the time of his life. Cyborg was, in his geeky opinion, the absolute coolest superhero he'd ever met.
"Man, that is still, so epic," he swooned as Cyborg connected a wire to his head during a system test, "did it hurt?"
"Oh, a lot," admitted Cyborg with a chuckle, "technically it still does, but the system takes care of that. There's a bridge in my brain that keeps me from feeling it."
"Oh... sorry."
"It's cool, you get used to the oil changes."
They had a chuckle at that.
"So... Batman said you needed something?"
"Yeah, Jazz said you're good with coding. Mind helping me with some troubleshooting?"
Tucker practically flew at the terminal and started looking the code over. It was odd, but some terms in C were different in their universe and Python was called Boa. It was one of those things that were just slightly to the left between their universes.
"I wonder if I could add some of your stuff to me," mused Tucker, "not all of it, I like my hands, but just some stuff to make things easier."
"Eh, I wouldn't recommend it. This looks cool on the outside, but on the inside it's a mash of tech from three different alien cultures, time-travel bullshit, and really itchy nanobots."
"Still better than being helpless."
Cyborg raised an eyebrow at that, "You wanna elaborate on that?"
Tucker closed the terminal and went to the next one across the hall, "Not really."
"... All right."
They worked silently for several minutes, closing and opening terminals when needed. Cyborg worked faster, his wetware/hardware patching meant he could code at the speed of thought, but Tucker's coding was creative in a way that his wasn't. A wetware patch would make him a digital monster.
"How did you...? Nevermind."
"Had an accident," Cyborg replied to the unfinished question without looking up from his work, "bad one. Most of my limbs and internal organs were pulped. The doctors weren't sure how I made it to the hospital. They called it a miracle. I called it hell."
"...Yeah."
"I was helpless."
Tucker looked up from his work.
"This isn't a weapon, it's a prosthetic," he reminded him, "it's primary function is to keep me alive. Everything else is... a bonus."
"...Sorry."
"Don't be. I'm not. Just being alive is a good place to start."
"Yeah. I guess it is."
At the same time, Val was pounding away at a sandbag in the gym. Her father, her city, her friends (?), and every hope she had for the future had vanished in mere seconds, leaving her to pick up the pieces.
Again.
She punched the sandbag over and over, forcing herself to stay angry. Anger had fueled her so far, so why-?
"You good?"
"MOTHER-!"
Her armor was on in a heartbeat, but the targeting systems wouldn't lock onto non-ectoplasmic threats.
"I almost shot you!"
"Eh, you'd have missed," dismissed the Flash, "fastest man alive."
Val felt there was an obvious joke there, but she was better than that.
God help him if he met Danny though.
"You didn't answer the question though. You good?"
Val scoffed and went back to the sandbag.
"Well, considering almost everyone I know is dead, I'm stranded on a new dimension with no papers, I'm going from graduating with honors to struggling through a GED, and my super-powered suit barely works on anything here, I'd say I'm dandy!"
She stopped, panting from the strain, "I'm pissed, ok? I'm just- I'm just mad right now."
"Umm, you don't really look mad," Flash admitted, "you don't even look-."
"Are you saying I can't be mad?"
"Oh, you have every right to be angry," he rescinded, "I know I was, but I'm not sure that you are."
Val wasn't sure where to start, so she did what she did best.
"What do you mean that you were?"
She deflected.
"Oh, long story," Flash dismissed, "but to keep it short, I once traveled back in time to save my mom."
"Your... mom?"
"Yeah, she was killed when I was a kid. My dad went to jail for it, though he didn't do it."
"...Oh. I'm sorry... but she's fine now, right?"
"...Not really," he sighed as he sat down on a pile of gym mats, "turns out tinkering with time is a very bad idea. The League didn't exist and most of its members were either at war or dead."
"Then... oh."
"I had to undo it," he affirmed, "worst day of my life."
"...My mom died when I was seven."
Flash looked up at her. She'd gone back to the sandbag.
"We saw it coming, cancer's a bitch."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"Thing is, I thought that'd be the worst feeling of my life," she half-heartedly punched the sandbag a few times, but stopped and let her arms hang limply by her sides, "but I was a kid, so it eventually... dulled. Then Danny and I had a...misunderstanding and I mostly felt angry. I thought he was out to get me, so I went out to get him."
She gestured at her armor, finally retracting it back to wherever it went when she wasn't using it.
"It wasn't fair to him."
"It wasn't fair to you either, was it?"
"...No."
Flash thought very carefully before his next question.
"Is that why you were mad?"
She looked sharply back at him, wanting to tell him off for something, but couldn't quite grasp what for.
"I- why can't anything be fair? Why did I have to lose my mom? Why did that stupid dog have to destroy my stuff? Why did Vlad have to notice me? Why did I have to lose everything and everyone else!?"
She wasn't even punching the bag anymore.
"Worst part is, I'm not even the only one," she sighed, "Sam, Tucker, Jazz, and the Dannys. They lost everything too, so I can't-."
"Yes you can," Flash interrupted, locking eyes with her intently, "you always can. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise."
"... but I don't want to. I'm tired."
She dropped on her knees, looking up helplessly at the sandbag.
"I'm so tired of feeling angry and sad and everything else. I just want to stop for a bit. Is that too much to ask?"
Flash sighed and moved to sit next to her.
"I don't know if it's good to stop feeling," he admitted, "but for now, you can at least rest. Take all the time you need."
Val sniffled, allowing herself to lean on Flash's shoulder.
"I miss my daddy."
In the daycare, three apparent toddlers had a brief moment of clarity.
The oldest thought, "I can't lose again."
The youngest thought, "I can't run again."
The middle thought, "I can't fail again."
Dani & Kon
Lex Luthor as Lord Montague vs. Vlad Masters as Capulet. Bruce Wayne as Prince Escalus.
Jason doesn't regret being Jazz's +1 for this gala at all. Her uncle brought her, and she couldn't just leave Dani alone. Plus, it was fun to see Vlad and Lex Luthor insult each other in Old English. He really wants to see this! He really wants to see the show again! Why didn't Bruce ever tell him about this?
Vlad Masters spoke to Lex Luthor with veiled scorn, making sure that Dani, who was standing next to him, could neither hear nor understand him. The last thing he needed was for Maddie to complain that he had used insults near Dani. At this point, he was just used to talking this way against Lex. "Thou art a base, dissembling knave, whose witless pate doth mock the sun’s own shine!" ("You're a deceitful fool, your bald head brighter than your intelligence."
Lex Luthor retorts spitefully: "Fie, Vlad, thou prating shadow, whose false heart cloaks a mind most mean and vile!" (Shame on you, Vlad, talkative fraud hiding a wicked, worthless mind!")
Yeah while both parents did insult each other, Dani and Kon became friends.
Jury Duty
Danny has been living his best life in Gotham, hiding from the GIW but mostly moving forward with his life. (College, job, whatever)
Until his name is drawn for jury duty.
He complains to his friends. They bring up a few interesting points. Shouldnt being dead disqualify him? Eventually the anti ecto acts are brought up. Can the government enforce jury duty on a citizen that was declared legally non-sentient?
Now, it might not have been danny's smartest idea, but he replies to the summons with a "cant, i died," attaching a copy of the anti ecto acts and a short argument that its hypocritical of the government to strip him of his rights but still expect him to fulfill his civic responsibilities.
Whatever government desk job gets danny's reply to the summons thinks its a joke at first (theyre no stranger to the colorful and creative excuses people come up with to try to get out of jury duty), but danny provided all the right paperwork and instructions for them to jump through all the hoops necessary to locate the obscure law. They send it higher up the chain of command.
But this is Gotham. After several days of ruminating over the strange law, they decide to leave a tip on the bats' hotline (set up and maintained by Oracle). The whole situation felt a bit left of reality, and they weren't paid enough to deal with that shit. And if the government really was the problem here (look, they might have landed a secure government-funded desk job, but they were a grunt and held no loyalty to the government that continuously screwed over their home city), then merely passing the buck meant it would get covered up instead of exposed.
Oracle gets the message and starts digging, determining that this is A Big Problem, Actually. First order of business is to track down this Danny guy and give him a bat-level security detail. Second order is to push this to the Justice league.
The thing is, the giw had successfully hidden themselves from the justice league up until now. They covered their tracks, took care of loose ends. The laws were written to look like pest control.
They never considered that someone would respond to a jury duty sommons with "cant, im dead." First of all, they dont know about halfas, who could be dead without ever being legally declared. Secondly, why would a ghost pretend to be alive? Thirdly, why would they blow their cover? ("Sir, its *jury duty.*" "point withdrawn.")
It was pure chance that the desk job took it seriously enough to report it, and oracle only recognized the threat as it was because she made the logical leap from ectoplasm to lazarus water.
The bats investigate by intercepting danny's summons. Fortunately, the higher up decided it was a joke and didnt share it any further. Unfortunately, they told danny that he better show up for jury duty, come hell or high water.
That route blocked, they hack in a jury summons for jason todd. Being Actually Legally Dead, with all the paperwork correctly filed, means that he would never actually get a summons, but they need someone on this inside that clearly falls into the same category as danny to keep a close eye on him.
Anyways, this was a long and twisted set up to get not one, but two individuals in the same jury duty line up claiming they "cant, i died."
They definitely also mention this during the jury selection meeting, which is where everyone who was summoned gets to answer questions for both sides to determine if they count as being unbiased enough to sit the jury
Danny was considering playing the “can’t, I died” card in person, or just saying he’d heard about the case on the news, which is usually an immediate disqualification
(Indicating any preconceived bias will usually get you out of it, like “anyone who cheats deserves the death penalty”)
Imagine his surprise when that vague ghost sense he assumed was due to all the ghosts haunting the courthouse pings when some other guy drops the line first
(The judge is not amused, and accuses Jason of faking his death certificate. Jason asks if he wants to see the autopsy scars and is probably spending a night in jail for contempt of court for stripping)
Neither he nor Danny get on the actual jury unless the court are hella low on acceptable jurors from the list, but let’s say Jason plays it cool enough to go under the radar and Danny decides he needs to know more about That Guy, so they’re both in
Now, jurors aren’t allowed to talk about their personal lives, or ever discuss the case outside of their special talking room
(You’re not even allowed to google potentially relevant details - like the guy who worked out a cop’s tattoo was a white supremacist symbol and got in shit, they’re meant to ask a court official to research it for them)
So Jason’s not gonna learn much about Danny just from sitting jury duty together; his main concern is keeping Danny safe from the GIW, should they catch wind that he ratted them out
This does not stop them from making extremely sarcastic eye contact and hand gestures during super fun jury field trips (where you all sit in silence on the bus and only look at exactly what you are told to look at)
Or making sarcastic comments during deliberations with the rest of the jury
(Jason refuses to vote for incarceration unless it’s a rogue, because fuck the penal system it doesn’t work anyway and Gotham’s is only worse, he can just break the accused’s kneecaps once they’re out if he decides they’re guilty)
(Danny opposes him for one hour of glorious over dramatics solely because the guy who DOES wanna send the accused to jail is a dick and the longer Danny and Jason filibuster the less anyone wants to listen to that asshole)
(When Danny is finally dramatically won over the guy nearly screams)
This is glorious.
Danny watches Jason's rant and threat to strip to show his autopsy scars. The only reason he doesnt is because "cool scars will win you no pity points." When its danny's turn, he asks if they wanna see his death scar, driving up the creep factor just to see if they regret their decision or double down. The answer is yes - they are clearly uncomfortable, but double down nontheless.
Jason makes a joke about death, taxes, and jury duty. Danny makes a joke about how jurers are desperate enough for jury panels to raise the dead. The selection panel is derailed by their sudden competition to make as many death jokes as possible.
It still doesn't get either of them out.
Danny brought in copies of the anti-ecto acts to hand out to anyone who scoffs at his argument that he's been stripped of his rights. He makes sure that jason takes home a copy - undead solidarity while being oppressed by the man.
It *still* isn't enough. Apparently, it's just that hard to put together a panel in gotham.
Jason asks danny why he's so flagrent about outing himself when these laws clearly state that he runs the risk of being captured and experimented on.
Danny's answer? Dude, its *jury duty,* absolutely worth the risk. The more serious answer? If the giw show up in gotham and start causing problems, maybe the bats will take notice and actually do something about it.
Jason concedes that point. Technically, they're already doing something.
ooo I have to add my two cents to this.
As much as Danny hates Jury Duty, both he and Jason prolong it so much that the media actually catches wind of the trial. (Babs put an anonymous tip in with someone she knows at the station.) So now the media has flocked to this like a pack of ravenous wolves only to find out the real story is the fact that there are two dead civilians being forced to do Jury Duty.
(Danny absolutely made sure to give the media all the same information he gave everyone else just for shits and giggles. Although he wonders if he might have taken it too far considering they want to interview him, and he definitely was NOT out of the proverbial ghost closet.)
People think the story is a joke when it airs until Skulker starts causing chaos in Gotham because he hasn't been able to fight the Welp in a month. Now, people are freaking out because ghosts are real, and didn't they already have enough to worry about with the Joker running around?
Eventually, other cities catch wind of everything happening in Gotham, and it spreads like wildfire, all the while Jason and Danny are just poking fun at this whole experience.
The GIW has definitely caught wind of the entire thing and is now out in full force in Gotham trying to hunt down the two dead Jurors but are having an absolutely shitty time because not only are the Bats out in full force fucking them up, but also the rogues because nobody messes with Gotham except them.
So, now Two Face is doing everything in his power to find out everything there is to know about the Anti Ecto Acts, including bribery and murder. (Babs and Tim have hacked most of their bases and sent all relevant information to Harvey. Anonymously, of course.)
Harley and Ivy are out on the streets beating the crap out of any GIW idiot they come across because if the dead aren't safe, then what makes a meta any safer? They also might be a little pissed cause they heard one of them being a homophobic bigot.
Danny is watching the chaos unfold, and he's beside himself with glee at the fact that this all started because someone pulled his name for Jury Duty. He absolutely asked Jason for his number after the trial was over because, hey, the undead gotta stick together.
MASTERPOST DC X DP
CHOICE OF PRISONER - DANNY IN ARKHAM AU
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
A FINE WARRIOR - IN SOME STRANGE AU
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
DIPLOMATIC OVERTURES
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
Not-Living Lightning
DPxDC
As much as I love Danny in Gotham fics I feel like Danny in Fawcett city has crazy potential.
To start with, as a place for Danny to hide from the GIW in I think it has just as much going for it as Gotham.
At the bare minimum I could easily believe that all the Divine thunder and lightning that Captain Marvels throwing around could easily interfere with ghost sensors. If ectoplasms a form of magical goop than trying to track one traumatized teenage boys worth of the stuff while a mystic sun is moonwalking down the street to pimp slap Captain Nazi two blocks over probably wouldn’t work very well.
If Danny’s on the run in Fawcett and the GIW does show up to try and capture him it is not gonna go well for them. All Billy’s gonna see is a bunch of creepy adults trying to abduct a fellow homeless kid and suddenly Captain Marvels descending from the heavens to flick his wrist with a shout of “Brown Magic!”. In an instant the Agents pristine white suits arn’t so pristine anymore and they know for a fact they will Never Live This One Down.
But more than that, I think of all the more mystical versions of Fawcett as the single best kind of place for Danny to hide.
This is the city where Billy Batson, 10 year old radio host extraordinaire, is regularly giving out reminders when to cast certain types of rituals and playing “a message from our sponsor” segments about shops that sell magic doors, mystical candles for rituals and potion ingredients. I’ve seen fics where Batman’s loosing his mind while walking around Fawcett because there’s unicorn drawn carriages going through the streets, Fae folk run businesses on every corner, Vampires working at the local blood bank and a Werewolf girl (whom he can NOT allow Damien to meet under any circumstances) playing tag with a centaur in the local park while their parents watch and gossip together from a distance. A corpse with a heart beat will barely even register on the Weirdness Scale of Fawcett, so Danny’s gonna fit right in.
Agent K: I know it sounds crazy, but we’re looking for a Ghost.
Carol, a random citizen entertaining these outsiders because she’s bored waiting for the bus: You’re gonna have to a bit more specific man, what kind of ghost are we talking here? Poltergeist? Spirit? Shade? What are we dealing with?
Agent K: A menace to society!
Carol, whose little brother keeps stealing her fruit snacks every other day despite being dead for 13 years: Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?
Fawcett also got trapped in a time bubble, which opens up a lot of options with Clockwork. If it’s still in a time bubble than it’s pretty much the safest place in the entirety of the living realm for Danny to hide out in and Clockwork can just yeet him in when things go south in Amity. Even if it’s out of the time bubble it’d still make sense for Clockwork to be more aware of the goings on in the city, both because of the time bubble itself and because the Champion of Magic and Rock of Eternity are settled down there. Maybe the whole city getting trapped in time also makes it a grey area when it comes to the rules preventing Clockwork from interfering in the living realm too much.
Clockwork: you should go and live in Fawcett, you’ll be safe there.
Danny: Because the GIW won’t be able to find me there, right?
Clockwork, trying to decide the appropriate number of bones to steal from the Agents who dared to harm his grandson: *Silence with a Smirk*
Danny: Right?
Danny: How's your new job going Tuck?
Tucker, six cups of coffee in, drenched in sweat, and his arms covered in multiple beeping and flashing red screen PDAs: I will not be defeated! I'M UNSTOPPABLE.
Danny: Uh-huh. Care to tell me why your PDA is flashing that alarm?
Tucker: Oh I hacked the plane Bruce Wayne is on and turned it back to the direction of his next meeting. He's been trying to ignore my schedule and I. Will. Not. Let. Him.
Sam: Tucker, don't take this the wrong way, but I think you should quit your job as his personal assistant. It's way too stressful.
Tucker: No. I was hired by the Wayne Enterprise Board to get Bruce's life in order, and I will accomplish that.
Danny: Um....why do you care so much about this?
Tucker: If I fail, Wayne Enterprise will discontinue Personal Digital Assistants. I have had my PDA since I was fourteen, and I will NOT lose it. *PDA number 7 beeps loudly* Crude! They're trying to hack my hack. How DARE they.
Tucker holding PDA to his mouth practically foaming: Open voice message. Record. "ORACLE BACK THE FUCK UP. HE IS GOING TO THE MEETING. DO NOT TRY MY FIREWALLS I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL SUMMIT YOU IN PUDDING!". Send message!
Danny: Is it odd that I'm attracted to this?
Sam: Not at all. There is something alluring about his slow descent into maddness.
Danny: That's our husband.
Sam: yup
Danny: We married him. In front of people.
Sam: Sure did.
Tucker: Ha! I just blocked the Batplane. Brucie thinks he can have his boyfriend sneak him out of his responsibilities? Think again, Batman!
Danny: He just cock-blocked Batman
Sam taking off her shirt: Hell yeah he did.
Imagine the Justice League having to step in just to get Tucker to back off. Like, this dude is skilled enough to keep Batman from going places, so they might need to actually tell him the secret.
Bold of y'all to assume that anything changes if he does know. He was hired to get B's life in order, he WILL get his life in order.
Meanwhile Bruce is stressing because there's literally a world ending event about to occur that he needs to get to.
Flash comes to personally tell Tucker The Secret because he'll be fastest, but Tucker has mad beef with the Speedsters because one time they changed history while he was in the Ghost Zone, and he failed a test because of it.
If it had been anyone else, he would have let Bruce reschedule JUST THIS ONCE, but Flash got him mad and now he's stuck in the office with Tucker, who used anti-ghost tech to temporarily cut off his access to the speed force. Barry falls asleep almost immediately.
Tucker sends Danny to deal with the problem, with the promise that he'll take a weekend off for them to do something romantic later.
Danny recruits a few ghosts he's become friendly with and goes and takes care of the problem. Skulker was looking for a fight, and Johnny and Kitty were promised a romantic date. Danny told Ember that Tucker would have a short instrumental version of one of her songs from when she was alive installed as default ring tone on the next WayneTech phone that's coming out in 3 months.
Between the 5 of them, they competely neutralise the alien armada before they're even half way into the solar system. Danny pulls out a giant ribbon and gift wraps the mothership.
Bruce makes his meeting, he's only 3 minutes late.
Barry wakes up from the most restful nap he's had in years, eats until he's finally full, then refuses to hand back the anti-ghost tech to Tucker.
DP x DC prompt
After Alfred suffers a heart attack, he FINALLY accepts some help. After all, someone has to be managing his charges. They'd all work to death otherwise.
Good thing Alfred knows just who to call...
Bruce is stressing, not only did Alfred have a heart attack, but the butler had called......him.
Cousin Danny.
Not that Bruce had anything against the young man, he was just......oddly horrifying.
Summed up- Creepy Cousin Danny, Alfred's werid nephew, is helping care for the Batfamily.
Imagine Danny just breaking into the watch tower while giving the JL an extreme uncanny valley.
"Where is the "Batman?". He croaks out to them.
Que the JL trying to keep this creature that broke into their headquarters away from Batman.
Danny really only wants to deliver Bruces Lunch, he had forgotten it at the Manor. But yay, he can play with his cousins friends!!!
Diana, after hearing the Horror (tm) stalk after Batman and call him 'cousin': Batman, may I know which side of the family are we related? I'm certain that he's a cousin of mine as well...or maybe an uncle.
Batman, realizing cousin Danny is now connected to him via Diana as well: *distressed grunt*
I love these hahahaha
I love how this implies that Danny either tracked down Ra’s and stole the spleen back, or regrew it in Tim’s body. I don’t know which of those is funnier
So either he broke in to get the original spleen back.
OR!
He gave him a new one, a ghostly one. Maybe he asked a blob ghost if it wanted to have an important job. Now Tim has a sentient spleen that floats around him sometimes. (Cause why would a ghost organ always NEED to be in the body to work)
Anyway, Spleen the blob ghost.
Any of the batfam loses organ or limbs and Danny just replaces it with a blob ghost. (And Danny has forgotten that some organs are not necessary for humans)
Damians fucked up spine - blob ghost
Dicks appendix-blob ghost
Bruces wisdom teeth- 1 BLOB FOR EACH TOOTH!!
Etc.
Please picture Batman getting punched in the face, spitting out a tooth, only for that tooth to melt and turn into some odd thing that attacks you.
Blob ghosts that aren't like, One thing? They're super impressionable, you can overlay your will/emotion/ecto onto them and they'll mold to it. Obviously if you're a piece of shit they won't be happy with you about it but if you're like "hey little dude, I have a job for you, payment is food and board and if I see anyone hurt you I'll kick their ass" that's a sweet deal for just Lil Guys. So Danny either gets them to attach to the bats "signature" like an aware donor organ choosing to be compatible and Danny guides the shape bc they're not ghosts, or blob ghosts are just The Best Most Versatile disability aid for everything ever and can just go "okay!!" and be whatever a person needs, no mucking about with third parties or even specific instructions. They do it all baby. Prosthetics, organ transplants, additive prosthetics (hello gender surgeries I dunno if they have an umbrella name), they can be skin grafts for burns etc, they can regulate emotions, help with mental illness, they can even be wigs and beards and mustaches (to a point they're nearly always bright colours, some can't help but glow in all lighting or only certain types, while others can be perfectly normal hair colours). They Can Do It All Bay! Be!
Alfred is Aunt Alicia's ex husband. The one they throw divorce parties over.
Danny is on a gap year and getting bored, Uncle Alfie offered him some controlled chaos!!
He just has to pretend like he's being serious and not giggle every time.
The blob ghosts originally came along to be natural ecto filters to make sure Danny stayed healthy, but they also got bored.
He broke through to the surface, taking large desperate gasps of air before getting sucked back beneath by the current. Danny fought against the water as hard as his little paws would allow.
Just when he felt all hope was lost and he was sinking, a large hand enveloped his entire body and hefted him back into the open air. Shivering and coughing out water he didn't catch whatever the man had said. He continued shivering violently as the guy wrung out Dannys fur.
The mans hands were warm despite the brown leather gloves covering them. They made Danny feel comforted and energized almost as if the man had...oh gods! He did! The man had ecto inside of him! Thank the ancients! Now he just had to stick with glove guy and he could recharge! It would be slow but still!
"Here we are little guy." The man said and Danny noticed all at once that the man had been walking the whole time Danny had been stuck in his head. He looked around and noticed the Animal Shelter sign in front of them.
No. No! Danny needed to stick to this guy if he ever hoped to become a human again. But despite how he dug his claws into the flesh of the mans exposed arm and yowled the man in the red mask managed to get him lose and left him in the care of an animal social worker.
Danny was checked out and placed in the tiny jail cell alongside other kittens and cats, many who were scared, miserable or just desperate for love and attention. This of course meant he needed to plot a jail break. Fortunately, he could still used most of his powers but without any ecto around he would have no way to recharge them outside of food or indulging in his obsession.
Needless to say Jason was a little startled when he woke up the next day to not one, but five little kittens meowing at him for food. He swears the one sitting smugly on his chest is the same one he dropped off at the animal shelter yesterday, but that couldn't be right...
One call confirmed it. All of thier animals had escaped last night and there was a suspiciously animal sized arch taken out of the wall with an unknown tool. Demon brat would be delighted at the news.
Unfortunately for Hood the smug little black cat he rescued yesterday had decided that his shoulder was the perfect perch and stayed there more often than not. Little guy got into food often but refused to eat kibble and any attempt to get the kitten away from the mashed potatoes resulted in violence or density shifting to get back to the food.
At this point danny almost didn't care if he returned to being human so long as he got to eat more of his humans cooking. He swears Jason is magical because everything he makes tastes amazing
Jason swore loudly as he attempted to leave the kitten behind. He has to go patrol!
"Come on Mischief. I gotta go stop bad guys. Run a crime empire! You gotta stay home and be safe!"
Well that wasn't going to happen. Oh no. Danny was going to protect his human. He howled at the stupid man, and clung on to his shoulder. He felt more than heard his sigh of resignation. Good. He should be resigned. This was happening .
Robin was. To put not to find a point on it. Flummoxed when he saw Red Hood later in the evening.
"Why do you have a kitten on your shoulder? During patrol?"
Jason groaned. If course it would be demon brat. And he could hear everyone asking over coms. Fucking dammit!
" You know what. If you can get mischief to go home. I'll owe you a favour. "
Damian tilted his head, confused by that statement.
"It is a kitten, not a recalcitrant child."
Then he saw Hood's posture. He seemed defeated by a kitten? Truly?
" Robin. The kitten can density shift. The kitten can bite through steel. I honestly would pay to see mischief vs Superman at this point. I've given up. Mischief fucking wins. "
Damian scowled while thinking.
"I suppose that does make it more difficult yes. How did you find them?"
Jason scowled at the menace on his shoulder.
" last night I saved mischief from a puddle. Took him to a shelter. Woke up this morning to 5 kittens on the floor, and mischief sitting on my chest smugly. "
Damian quickly flicked his com silent. Their family apparently found that amusing, and were being loud about it.
"The kitten staged an escape. Fascinating. Well done indeed. They must have enhanced intelligence as well!"
Jason hadn't even thought of that. But given the look of smugness on Mischief's face. Well. Demon Brat was right .
"You're gonna be a nightmare ain't ya mischief?"
The fact the kitten nodded did not make him feel any goddamn better.
it all goes sideways when rogue of the week turns up and Danny pulls out an anime protagonist worthy charge and headbutts them into a car effortlessly.
Jason had thankfully already made a little mask for mischief. Or 'batcat' as everyone insi aged in the field. Because, tiny kitty. Powerful or not. Still needs some sort of armour. The kitten is now considered his hero companion. I'm the same way as Krypto the dog is for the super family.
Damian is entirely salty about not being the kittens chosen. But also respects that the kitten has chosen. And knows cats well enough to know it will not change.
Gotham news went crazy over the tiny kitten taking down Bane. 'Batcat' might be their favourite hero. A fact that has Jason's tiny kitten far too proud of himself.
Jason had laughed so hard when B tried to intimidate Mischief. Mischief stared at him. Flicked his tail. And turned around to show his back. He was so glad his helmet recorded the encounter.
Tim apparently played it whenever B was being a dick. Dickie-bird was all atwitter about it. He found it highly amusing Jason had been adopted by such a contrary creature. Something about the kitten being just like Jason when he was younger.
At some point, it becomes clear just how intelligent Mischief is. As in, clearly-understands-English, has absolutely plotted against Jason (for his own well-being) and won, pushes glasses of water off counter tops specifically when he wants something (yes Damian, he is aware that’s something normal cats do. You don’t understand, he’s doing it with intent) and it occurs to Jason that he should actually maybe see if he can and should be communicating. Is his cat actually a cat? Stranger things have happened.
The most convenient tool for doing this, coincidentally, is the cheap ouija board Jason picked up somewhere, so Mischief can slap letters with his little paws to respond.
Danny, half ghost menace that he is, finds the irony of this so funny that he’s too busy laughing to give Jason any straight answers, and ends up being super cryptic and decidedly unhelpful.
He does coherently manage to demand more mashed potatoes though.
Jason: Fuckin really? Mashed po varies cannot be good for you right now!
Danny *aggressively* Mash!
Jason: Alright! Jesus fine. Fuck! And currently? Do you weren't born a cat? The Fuck happened?
Danny : Food!
Jason: Nuh uh you little shit!
Danny *clearly sulking* shape shift practise. Got stuck.
Jason: Huh. Fair enough. Dinner time then. Also stop laughing. The fuck is so funny?
Danny refused to answer, so only laying on the board. Jason finally have up and pointed at his friendly menace, before giving up and going to cook.
When Danny finally explains that he is half ghost? Jason will also be laughing his ass off. Of course he used a ouija board to communicate with a fucking ghost!
Lmfao I can’t this is perfect
Danny being a gremlin whilst taking full advantage of being stuck as a cat and makes it everyone else’s problem is too perfect
His other option was to be a pet. And no thanks? Not his vibe. Also he's been slowly purifying the jank Ecto this guy has. It's gonna be fun when the dude noticed his mood has evened out. He practised shifting in the kitchen when Jason is sleeping. So far he's managed size and colour. So when he goes out as batcat? He can shift colours. Meaning keeping his 'civilian' ID is gonna be easy. He can also turn into a Fuck off panther now.
The first time he did that in patrol? The thugs have up instantly. And he was very very smug about it. The cops were scared as shit too. Which Hood have him pets for. He quite likes this animal sidekick thing. Much more fun than school!
Not that Jason lets him get away from learning. Oh no. He made the mistake of tell the dude his age. And now he keeps reading Shakespeare and Bronte to him. Even when he nips him for it. Bastard. He wants science!
(Just gonna drop something here, but like, Danny going from kitten size to full panther reminds me of Klarion’s familiar, Teekl. Do as you will with that comparison.
Also, I had a good laugh reading everything here-)
Klarion and Teekl hear rumours about the kitty! And want to play!
Jason? Is NOT down with this fuckery in his back yard please! If you want to play do it OUTSIDE Gotham!
Jason being stuck with three highly mischievous, supernatural entities is hilarious. JLD probably would laugh and cheerily say, “You got one attached to you. They’ll coalesce after that. They’re the ‘You saved me, now I’m your problem’ sort of creatures. Good luck!”
Danny is happy to play with his new friends… within the bounds of his human’s reasonable restrictions… mostly. It was only a few. No, he shan’t clarify what he means by a few. No, not even on the Ouija Board… maybe for some mashed potatoes? *Big pleading eyes*
Yeah. Few buildin’s. Went nyoom.
THEY WEREN'T IN GOTHAM!!!!!!!! He swears! It was uh... Ahem in Metropolis...
Jason has to check on the news... At least it was all Luthor's? And it was outside of work hours? So uh, that should give big blue a break for a bit. FINE you can have your mash. Why do you even want mash??? I can do steak you know?
BIG kitty eyes. STEAK!!!! Please? Pretty kitty please?
Danny is definitely having fun with his new friends. But only during the day! Jason WORKS at night! And he's gotta be there to protect him! Klarion is pouty. But he gets it. Rules ARE rules.
XD I love that. So much.
Klarion absolutely messaged Luthor like “Dropping by soon! Don’t worry. Bringing a friend!” So, Luthor had prepared for Klarion and whatever chaos would happen. Just not Klarion, Teekl, and a supernatural, powerful cat of sorts to “play” with each other… using his buildings like toys. Superman gets a pretty nice break from
Danny gets so excited when he realizes the steak is on the table as an option for meal. Now he asks for steak AND mash.
Rules are rules and, even if Klarion doesn’t like rules, he gets that Danny wants to ensure Jason’s safety. Danny basically gets to play at day and terrorize anyone who bothers Jason at night.
Danny is also learning now why so many gods in mythology preferred animal disguises. You can have so much more fun as an animal than as a human!
Luthor is just stood there watching as his buildings are stole by three supernatural entities. Like... How is this my life? Klarion! Get back here you little brat! So you know how much work this is going to take to fix!!!!to
Superman is highly confused. But greatful for the break. Luthor is too busy calling construction companies and getting his building rebuilt to be a problem. Also... Isn't that Hood's cat? He may need to call Batman.
Batman when called? Has to share the knowledge that he can do nothing about the cat. Constantine can do nothing about the cat. It chose Hood and that's all there is to it. Even Hood can't control the damn thing!
Klarion likes his new bestie! Mischief is great! They can get up to do much trouble! And the only thing Mischief wants for it is to not attack Gotham? That's fine! That's Mischief's turf now. He gets it!
Jason is learning how to deal with entities of great power. And that bribery works. Deals work. Nothing else does. He gets why Connie drinks now. He really really does.
Danny is so tempted to recreate some of the Greek myths. Maybe.... Klarion would help? Like, come on buddy! Wouldn't it be great to do that? Wouldn't it be fun? Diana is going to be seeing some pranks that remind her of childhood tales. And need to take a moment. Cause uh, the cat? Might be a godling? She's uh, pretty sure yeah..... She will ask around. See who misplaced their kid....
Meanwhile Clockwork/Chronos is searching around for his youngest kid and so now Diana thinks that Mischief is Zeus. Which leads to a whole host of new problems.
Nah. Clockwork would be very much looking for his baby. He's only 17! And Diana would be like..... You had another kid???? I have a new Uncle! And you never told me??????
Diana turns up at Jason's. Scruggs the kitten and looks at him sternly.
Diana: Hello Uncle. Why did you not visit me hmm?
Danny bats his big eyes surely at her. And meows. And yes. Ok. Fine. You don't have a voice box right now.
Jason? Is vibrating in glee. Mischief is Aunt Diana's Uncle!!!! He grabs the ouija board and sets it down waiting for answers. Under Diana's gaze? Danny finally answers his questions. And hey! Jason saved him! He's paying him back! And storing energy to turn back to normal! And Jason is full of ecto! Even if it's not normal ecto. So he's been eating it for power! And that's making Jason healthier too!
I can’t remember if it was said tho, what’s his reaction around Joker cause I get the feeling he so would hate on sight.
Honestly I feel like if Danny ever got to visit home when this is all said and done, his rouges will be filled with regret at the new heaps of mischief he can inflict on them.
He and Klarion have an unofficial deal that is forged and upheld only through play, and considering Klarion probably doesn’t get many chances like this in his existence he’d definitely not step out of line cause he enjoys the chaos they inflict
Danny has made himself everyone’s problem and that is just a mood
Damian was sorely disappointed at not being chosen by Mischief, but had agreed- without asking father- to be a foster home for the other four kittens. As such? He was a “failed foster” parent for one of them because, he insisted, Pennyworth the cat deserved a young pupil. Surely father would not deny Pennyworth a son! “It was even named in honor of you, father!”
What did you name him?
“Pendejo. Todd assures me it is an affectionate way to refer to you.”
Bruce does that bridge of the nose pinch that he does when he feels a Jason sized headache coming on. When Damian decided on a name, he refused to change it. “You may keep the cat only if you do not call it that. At least abbreviate it to Penn? I’m afraid your brother was being a bad influence again.”
Damian considers this for a moment before agreeing, because father’s logic is sound plus it means he gets to keep the cat. If he argues, father might change his mind.
He insists on home visits to determine if his classmates are suitable residences for the kittens, with the exception of one that has long black fur and blue eyes- that one he gives to Jon as a birthday present. What gift could possibly be better than a creature who will love you and protect you. It can even be taught to chase mice from the barn!
Meanwhile, when Joker gets out, he hears tales about the Batcat, who travels on the shoulder of Red Hood. Well, can’t ignore the newest member of the bat family can he?
He is preparing to break into one of Jason’s safe house/ apartments when he hears the low angry mrrrowww of an angry kitten. He turns with his crowbar raised viciously, expecting to see the teeny little black kitten he’s heard about, only to be met by an oversized black panther with death flashing in his eyes.
By the time the Bat arrives to take Joker back to Arkham, Joker is babbling frantically about the rabid hellcat that mauled him. Bat looks around frantically for the megafauna grade panther, but all he can find is a cute little black kitten, sitting on Jason’s welcome mat and cleaning the Joker’s blood off his coat and paws.
The CCTV came in the hallway glitched during the attack, so they have no proof one way or the other.
Great, Batman mentally grumbles, Now I have to worry about Hood’s odd kitten plus an unknown oversized cat that cut Joker to shreds.
Meanwhile? Hood is already planning a party to celebrate. He needs a clown piñata, several good cuts of steak, plenty of mashed potatoes, and cake. Time to look up what kind of cake would be suitable for a cat, because his darling boy is absolutely getting his own cake as a reward for the gift he left on Jason’s doorstep. Joker cut to ribbons and unconscious. How did he know? That gift was absolutely the right size!
Meanwhile, Tim had brought over some R&D projects, and there was one for a device that would put the James Webb pictures to shame. Jason remembered how Mischief had hovered when that document was out, and as a final surprise, got a telescope attached to a simple keyboard and monitor.
That way, the monitor would show what the telescope saw, and with the simplified keyboard intended for small or handicapped users Mischief could decide where he wanted to see.
Personally, Jason was of the ever growing opinion that Mischief was an alien, but until he verified one way or the other, he was getting the cat treatment. On the bright side, this cat was toilet trained! So no kitty litter required. On the other hand, this cat was every bit as bossy as B when Jason got hurt on patrol.
Jason knows that Mischief actually was the Panther that fucked the Joker up. Not that he's going to snitch to Bruce about it. But he knows.
Because Jason has also been on the end of those big Panther paws. Not the claws of course. Just the paws. Great big paws of a great big lump lounging languidly across Jason, forcing him to stay in bed and not patrol any time he's more injured than scrapes and bruises.
Jason:.... Shoulda let you down you little shit!!
Danny just lounges with intent and licks the side of his face.
Jason: Oh gross! C'mon! I have a bust tonight! I'll make you steak and cheesy mash!!
Danny grumbles at the lost opportunity for cheesy mash but refused to move. Very pointedly puts a tiny bit of weight onto the broken rib and chuffs.
Jason:..... Bastard. Fine. Home Alone or Die Hard?
Dick decides to come check in on Jason when he doesn't show for patrol/the bust.
He will argue until the day he dies that the sound that came out of him seeing a giant black panther sleeping on his little brother was both reasonable and dignified.
Danny will argue that getting electrocuted halfway to a second death for daring to stop Jason from being a dumbass and going out with a broken rib was entirely unjustified. Dick owes him so much steak and mash now.
Jason would like to make it known that laughing as hard as he did was incredibly painful. And that maybe, just maybe, Mischief was... Right about not going on patrol. Maybe...
Once he finally got his breath back from laughing himself into a second grave Jason waved at his older brother. Who was currently being treated to the indignity of being squashed for his actions. Mischief had NOT like the escrima sticks. And had batted them away, before knocking Dick on his back and flopping onto his chest. Grumbling the whole time. Dick had at least stopped screaming once it was clear he wasn't going to be eaten.
Jason: Dick! Meet Mischief! Isn't he adorable!
Dick:.. THIS IS MISCHIEF!!!! I thought he was a KITTEN!!!!
Jason: Yeah? He is? Most of the time anyways. I'm not allowed out on patrol. Got a broken rib. Mischief figured being panther sized would stop me.
Dick: Mischief was the one that fucked up Joker? Holy SHIT!!! Why didn't you WARN us the kitten was a meta?????
Jason: Cause he's not. Also, not technically a cat. Just stuck as one right now. Damian knows. Not my fault that didn't get passed back to the rest of you.
Dick:... Baby bat betrayed me??
Jason: Yeah. He met Mischief when he came to collect the kittens he is fostering. Plus, Superboy is a snitch.
Dick: The fuck has Superboy got to do with this???
Jason: Mischief is besties with Klarion. But supernatural entities have Rules. So Klarion isn't allowed to fuck about on Mischief's turf. So they tear up Metropolis instead.
Dick:... Why the fuck is Klarion's bestie living with you??
Jason: Saved his life by accident. Now he's my problem. And he's decided to do that by sitting on me when he thinks I shouldn't be patrolling.
Danny took his chance to butt into the conversation by pushing off Dick's chest, causing him to exhale sharply, and wandered off to get Jason's next dose of painkillers. And a bottle of water. Since Jason wasn't supposed to be moving too much. Dick watched as the panther then sat and stared at his little brother until he took the painkillers, and drank some of the water. Dick began to grin gleefully. He was going to be able to tease Jason about this for AGES!!
Dick: He's like Alfie!!!! Just fluffy!!!! This is amazing!!!!
Does Jason eventually get Mischief those talking pet buttons like Billispeaks?
On one hand it might be quicker than using the ouji board but on the other Danny's favorite button is of course the MASH button. Jason hears that button so much the demanding of MASH is in his dreams. Or Danny is just spamming it at ungodly hours of the night.
And speaking of ungodly hours of the night, does Danny get zoomies? Like is Jason awoken by Mischief just tearing through the apartment at 4am? The fact that the cat can density shift helps no one. He's been getting complaints of his cat somehow ending up in the neighboring apartments on it's bouts of zoomies as well. One neighbor claims the cat zoomed right through the wall, did five laps around the kitchen, and zoomed right back out. No one believes them of course.
Thankfully that's when Jason is usually on patrol. So the people dealing with those zoomies? The criminals of Gotham. Who really regret their actions right about now.
As for the buttons? While hilarious, Jason would go for something more comprehensive. Mischief can read and write after all. Maybe a kitten sized keyboard for text to speech. Danny is quite gleeful about being able to demand new foods. And ask for science lessons please! Books are fine, but he wants physics!!!
Tim should meet Mischief by dropping in on Jason during an advanced physics lesson.
Tim: . . . Why are you teaching your kitten aerodynamics?
Jason: Because we finished King Lear and the little shit already knows everything under the sun about astrophysics.
Tim: Oh...kay?
*Later, back at the cave.*
Tim: I'm telling you guys, he's snapped. He's trying to teach the cat literature and advanced physics.
Damian: Education is important Drake. Though clearly you were unaware of that since you dropped out.
Tim: Fuck off, Demon Brat, it's a kitten! They don't even have the cerebral development to learn that shit. And Jason said it already knew astrophysics! That's not possible.
Dick: As long as Jason isn't teaching him how to eat people, I think it's fine.
Tim: How would a kitten eat people, Dick? It's literally a kitten!
Steph, just trying to through fuel on the fire: I don't know Tim. Isn't this the same kitten that staged a break out for himself and the other kittens? Seems he might be a little smarter than your average cat.
Tim: A kitten! Astrophysics! You've all snapped!
Bruce just looking at Tim in quiet concern. How did he miss everything the kitten has done?
Bruce: Have you been getting enough sleep lately chum?
Tim: What are you asking ME that for???? Jason is the one teaching a kitten physics!
Tim is losing his mind over this until he has a case that’s overlapping with one of Jason’s. The two of the were working on it together in one of Jason’s safe houses when Mischief decided to strong-arm Jason into dinner and sleeping as a kitten. He then jumped onto Tim’s lap and forced him to eat and sleep too bc he was running in fumes.
Tim passes out lulled to sleep by the soft and warm allure of kitty cuddles. Later that night he wakes up in a haze to see a fully grown Fuck Off Panther finish assembling whatever device he’d been working on before turning into a kitten and phasing through the roof presumably to go cause mischief.
Tim thinks he’s dreaming or hallucinating and goes back to bed. When he wakes up he finds the device fully assembled, Jason still asleep, and a large black panther standing over him alternating between spamming buttons that loudly exclaimed MASH and PANCAKE.
Jason groans awake. “Alright Mischief I get it! You want pancakes and also mash! I’m starting to think I should just be flattered you like my cooking so much,” he grumbled, shuffling over to the kitchen, ignoring Tim having a crisis in the living room.
As he cooks Mischief phases through a wall, shifts back into a kitten, and hops onto Tim’s shoulder. Tim stares at the cat with wide eyes and the kitten looks pointedly at him and then the kitchen, indicating Tim should go there. Not knowing what else to do Tim heads to the kitchen and takes a seat at the table watching Jason cook. He just sits there for a while processing everything. Then Jason sets two stacks of pancakes in front of him. One for him and a smaller cat-sized stack for Mischief.
Finally, he takes a breath. He turns to the cat wolfing down pancakes on the table and says,
“How would you feel about learning Quantum Entanglement?”
Jason: I've set him up a specialty laptop. He even has an email. Aunt Diana made him promise to stay in touch. So you can give him yours.
Tim: Diana? Why?
I love each of the bats individually learning the truth about Mischief and each one deciding "Nah, I don't need to tell any of the others about this."
I think it's even better if it's not even really intentional. They are just that bad at communicating. Plus, their lives are so weird already, they just kind of shrug it off. It's barely a footnote's footnote in everything else they've got going on.
There are so many other, far more important things they need to talk about. The fact Jason's cat is actually some sort of magic being of great power? Not an issue. Jason's problem. Not something they need to worry about. The fact that Joker, Hatter and Penguin are up to something? Far more important.
Danny, in his forties, knows he passes for two people; Bruce Wayne and some randomass reporter named Clark Kent. Which is great, because he's about to defend Bruce Wayne's son, and it'd be weird if the press thought he was just some rando.
Danny didn't want to know who the fuck Bruce Wayne was, but Sam's parents would not shut up about the guy as Danny was growing up.
So, yeah; he can recognize Bruce Wayne on site. And his children.
Not because he stalked them! It was all Sam's fault, her and her parents! Her for complaining about the Waynes, and her parents for idolizing them!
Anyways, he's pretty sure he just saw some chick drug Dick Grayson's quadruple sugar caramel frappe, and Dick drank it.
Danny doesn't really think? He kind of just moves.
Dick Grayson barely gets out a "Uh, hey-?" before Danny decks the bitch in the face hard enough to throw the woman back five feet.
She's definitely going to need a hospital.
Danny doesn't give a fuck.
Danny gives so little fucks that he just puts a very carefully gentle hand on Dick Grayson's shoulder and steers him away from the scene.
"She roofied your drink. I'm taking you to the hospital."
Or; Dick was going to allow a Trafficker to drug him, so that he could play bait. The trackers he'd swallowed would absolutely lead Jason to where he was taken, as Jason was working with him on this, but didn't meet the traffickers "type". He didn't tell Bruce he was going to do this. So when the Rohypnol starts to kick in, he's absolutely sure he sees Bruce come in out of nowhere and wreck the Trafficker's shit. The randos filming the incident think they just saw someone's dad almost murder a bitch, and then heard said dad mention roofies. When the videos are posted online, and the dad is "identified" as Bruce Wayne, Bruce has three things happen. First; he's getting a lawsuit from the woman. Second; he's also getting notified through this that he has a doppleganger or clone. He will need to investigate, as he needs to thank the man. Third; his image has become pristine in the eyes of Gotham, and has also become yet another wholesome meme.
Gathering branches again.😊
Link 1, Genealogy.
Link 2, Danny is husband and father.
Link 3, Lookalike triplets.
Link 4, Amazing art.
Link 5, Smallville rescue.
G̴̩͍͆͆̈́e̵̹̣͆t̷̬̋ ̸̻̮̎̒ĭ̸̏̃n̵͙̋͐ ̸̛̳̃t̶̪̣̅ḣ̸̳̇͜è̵̠̲͖̔̑ ̶̢̹̖͗͐̀Wa̵̬̞͝ṫ̴̩̣̣e̶͉̲̯͂̏̎r̴̉
It was a simple mission. Damian was working with Father to confirm the existence of a Lazarus Pit below Gotham, as Ra's Al Ghul speculated. And they had found it, deep in the caves below Gotham. A Pit the size of an Olympic sized swimming pool, bubbling and steaming. He'd only looked away for a moment.
"Kin-slayer."
Standing waist deep in the water stood Damian's reflection. The hair might be white, and the eyes glowing with the waters, but it was his face. But not his face alone.
Danyal's ghost glared at him. "Get in the water."
Father threw a batarang at him, but the metal flew straight through his head like it was air. Danyal didn't even glance at him, his eyes fixed on Damian. "Get in the water," he ordered again. He stepped closer to the shore and the green water sloshed up the bank higher than it was before. "Or I'll raise the tide so high, all of Gotham will die. So get in the water."
Damian's heart jumped into throat. "Wait-"
"Get in the water."
Father shoved Damian behind him, as if it would protect him, as if he could stop Danyal. "Stop this, please-" If he could just explain-
Another step and the waters surged forward, nearly touching Father's boots. "I'll make whirlpools so profound, your entire family will drown," he promised.
"NO!" Not his brother, his kind brother-
"THEN GET IN THE WATER!" Danyal snarled, revealing monstrously sharp teeth and a black tongue from Damian's poison. "G̴̩͍͆͆̈́e̵̹̣͆t̷̬̋ ̸̻̮̎̒ĭ̸̟̰͙̏̃n̵͙̝̟̋͐ ̸̛̳̃t̶̪̣̅ḣ̸̳̇͜è̵̠̲͖̔̑ ̶̢̹̖͗͐̀w̵̜͍̤̌a̵̬̞͝ṫ̴̩̣̣e̶͉̲̯͂̏̎r̴̉͜!̷̡͔́̀̽" He lunged and Father pushed them back down the passage they'd come. "Don't mistake this for a bluff, brother. You've lived more than enough. Just get in the water." Damian swallowed, throat dry. Was this Danyal's revenge? Did he finally have to face what he had done?
"Robin, who is this?" Father snapped, trying to keep retreating down the cave. But Damian wouldn't let him; the waters, and Danyal with them, would only follow.
Danyal looked between them, scowling. "G̴̩͍͆͆̈́e̵̹̣͆t̷̬̋ ̸̻̮̎̒ĭ̸̟̰͙̏̃n̵͙̝̟̋͐ ̸̛̳̃t̶̪̣̅ḣ̸̳̇͜è̵̠̲͖̔̑ ̶̢̹̖͗͐̀w̵̜͍̤̌a̵̬̞͝ṫ̴̩̣̣e̶͉̲̯͂̏̎r̴̉͜!̷̡͔́̀̽" he snapped again. "I'll take your father and gouge out his eyes, unless you want to stop being a coward and choose to die. Now... get in the water."
@victoria-has-no-secret it would be the most traumatizing 15 minutes of his life knowing that danny will drag it on long enough for maximum terror. When he gets there, Danny would be all 'professional-like' and devoid of the resentment that Damian, in his panic, thought this was a different ghost but wore his brother's face for some reason. It doesn't help that Danny assumed a more 'human' form than the mangled more ghostly form back at the pit waters. The whiplash of attitudes, denial, and the adrenaline would convince him that Paperwork! Danny is different from Siren-would-drown-gotham-if-damian-doesnt-kill-himself! Danny
Meanwhile batfam are Panicking. Some weird Pit demon just dragged their baby bat into its waters and hasnt come back to the surface! (Time is a bit weird between the infinite realms and dc-verse) Bruce could feel the immense resentment that was honed in on Damian. The pit demon ignored him with single minded focus to get at Damian. He tried to push his son behind him, telling him to fall back but Damian is just... frozen there. A complicated look on his face before settling on horror and reluctant guilt. Bruce doesn't know what to think about that. The being screeched at Damian again to get in the water. It was making him choose to kill himself and Bruce is not having any of that. He was horrified to see Damian, as if hypnotized, grimly enthralled, slowly steps forward to it despite Bruce's protests. Teeth grit in terror and guilt and frustrations as if his body was being controlled and Damian couldn't fight it. He sees the glowing green waters slowly surging forward worryingly close as if waiting to snatch up his son. Bruce snapped out of it and dropped whatever he was holding and tried to physically drag his son out of there but- but he couldn't?
Damian's breathe hitched and Bruce looked down to see a sickly pale clawed hands holding onto Damian's lower. The rotting mangled flesh of its face that looks so eeriely familliar. That is his son's face. Damian's face. The demon called his son 'kinslayer'. Who is this?
In that split second look down, the demon opened its mouth, showing a dark rotten tongue and screeched,
"G̷̢͎͖̞̫̥̬̮̟̍̾͋̂͛̐̌̓͒͑͜Ȩ̴̥̟̩̫̜̠̫͈̙̼̼̩̤̫́͊͜T̴̛͙̩͙̹̥̜̲̠̰͕͓͇͉̂̈́̋̊͝ ̷͈̥͈̦̻̭̦̠̿́͂̈̔̊̃͆̍̎̂̕̚Ï̸̧̭͓͙̻͔͇̤̞͂̑̌̏N̸̡̦͉̈́̒̓̊̃͐̓́͠͝ ̸̢̢̯͙͙̩͕͉̦͓̥͇̰̄̓̎̉Ţ̶͍̟̬̘̤͕̲͉͔̳͖̜̪̖͊̓̅͋̀̈́̈͐H̷̭̖͖͈̻̝̘͓̫̺͉̻̣̥͓͉̕Ȩ̸̨̧̻͎̖̟̦͍̥̔͑̅̀̀̿̈̄̈́̚͘ ̸̢̡͍̘̪͓̥̉̀͋̋͊W̵̡̺̫̝̱͕̞̥̭̦͙̮̮͕̗̖̃̑̉̈̎͒̂̽̎̋̎͊̓̚͜͝͠A̴̡̛̞̙͕̖̼͚̬̗̭͂̿̏̀͊͋͆̕ͅT̸̡̧͙͕͓̳͉̗̯̥̱͛̑̇̀͌̍̃̋̚ͅÊ̷̢̛̤̙͕̫̺͍̼͛̽̔͑͗́̈́̈́̑̑̐̕R̶̳̥͓͈͉̼͕̠̼̗͂̓͐̔͌͘͠!̸̡̛̣̥͍̥͕̩̫̳͑̐̈́̽͝!̶̡̟͖̪͔͚̝̥̙̹͖̼̮̌̈́̆̽̈́̾͝͝ͅͅ!̷̜̠͇̯̬̖͂̓̀̿͘"
It made Bruce's ears ring despite all the protections his suit had to things like it and unconsiously loosened his grip on Damian. A mistake. The demon quickly tugged him away from his arms and dragged him bodily through the dirt to the glowing waters. Damian tried to claw his way from it but ends up in the shallow pools shouting and gargling from the waters from each tug that unbalance him and forces his head to fall to the waters, slowly dragging him deeper. Bruce, quick on his feet, tried to chase. Tried to dive in but as he stepped on the shallow waters, his feet slowly sink on the ground. Tripping and slowing him down, not helping his panic and the jackhammering of his heart as his watched his son slowly disappear under the pits.
As his family panics, Damian is suffering paperwork with shaking hands and heavy guilty heart as this being that wore his dead brother's face is smilling at him as he explains each part that he needs to fill up. He wary, worried he'll see his actual dead brother at the corner if his eye.
But oh! Oh!! Are EITHER of them his brother?
One is a demon. A Reaper. A bloody and vengeful Siren. The other a mocking bureaucrat. Neither a child. Neither who his brother WAS. The dead do not change, do they?
So why...
Who.....
Who EXACTLY has his brothers soul? He has never wondered. Never considered. But... but surely he was at rest, right? Yet he can not fool himself. These mockery are too well done. Do they have him?
Does Danyal suffer in the clutches of these demons? Lost amongst the restless dead? Because... because he was unavenged? Because of Damian?
It hurts to breathe. His hands shake.
Is... is the only way to SAVE his brother to avenge him? When he was the one who... Must he kill... himself, then? Would that bring Danyal's soul peace?
Or is it a trick? Played by demons? Preying upon the sins he can not forgive himself for? The mistakes of his past?
The Bats? Gonna be IN IT for a looooong while. So much arcana research and magician bothering. Long nights, climbing very, VERY tall mountains to go bother old monks. Leave the monks alone guys, they are busy doing monk business.
All? While Danny is like "well'p! That was fun! Sure spooked him! Glad I got that outta my system!" *promptly forgets about it*
Red Robin and Nightwing had arrived in time to see Bruce screaming for Damian, futilely searching the shallows where he'd last seen Damian's head go under. The bubbling acidic liquid was already eating into Bruce's suit.
Direct exposure to the Pit would kill the healthy and risk temporary Pit Rage for those it heals. Tim had to drag Bruce back out. Then he had to catch and drag Nightwing away to keep him from diving in after Damian.
Once he was sure they wouldn't kill themselves trying to dive in, he jury-rigged a grapple to try to dredge the pool. If there was even a chance... The Pit might revive him if it killed him. He'd dredge the whole pool if he had to. He wasn't giving up on his gremlin brother.
Dick and Bruce joined in with their own jury-rigged grapples as soon as they could.
Time passed differently in the Realms than in the living world. Hours of paperwork was barely fifteen frantic minutes under Gotham.
When Damian finally finished with the paperwork, the Paperwork Demon shoved him out of the room and between one blink and the next, the Pit Demon was back in front of him. His dead brother's face in a rictus viciously mocking grin.
"Time's up," the demon(?) with his brother's death-pale, sunken face mocked as his clawed hand gripped Damian by the collar, yanking him into the air.
Damian scrabbled at his hand, reflexively trying to escape. "Wait! Ple-please," he choked out. "My-my brother-"
The grin twisted into a scowl. "You lost the right to call me your brother when you murdered me, kinslayer." He hissed, sharp teeth snapping at him.
"Let- my bro- Danya-" Damian choked again as the grip tightened and shook him.
"SILENCE! You're not worthy. You never deserved me."
Damian wheezed, trying desperately to ask if this demon truly spoke for Danyal. Was Danyal here? The true Danyal? His brother's kind, gentle soul - too gentle for the League of Assassins and grandfather. The paperwork and Pit demons wore his face and knew too much of him, but they weren't truly his brother, right? Right?
"Dan-"
But the Demon's face twisted and suddenly Damian was launched backwards and through a standing wall-portal(?), and green covered his vision. He thrashed in the thick liquid, instinctively struggling to surface. He had no idea which way was up or out of the liquid.
Just as he started fearing he would drown, something touched his back. He twisted, grabbing at anything solid, and his hands brushed and then grabbed onto a familiar sort of cable. A grappling line.
He pulled at it, desperately hoping, and abruptly was being yanked forward, up and out. The green parted and he gasped in air. Voices shouting but he couldn't parse what they were saying. He was pulled across the pool, hanging onto the line with a death grip. Stone scraped his knee pads and he tried to push himself up and out. But then there were familiar hands gripping him, lifting him out of the Pit and onto dry land.
Damian coughed, breathing roughly as Bruce folded his youngest into his arms and held him close. Dick was right there clinging and fussing over Damian. Tim was right beside them, easing his grapple line out of Damian's grip. Damian switched his grip to the edge of his father's cape.
-------
Danny huffed and then slowly inhaled and exhaled, letting his features morph back to normal. He let go of the spike of old anger and current annoyance. Then grinned. Damian had deserved that prank. It had felt vindicating to watch him sweat and flail out of his depth, nothing like the proud, superior princeling of the League.
But he had a lot of other names to go through.
Danny pushed aside the old memories. He'd never been wanted by his birth family, never been good enough for them to actually care. He'd moved on with his life. He had found a new family that wanted him.
Damian had deserved a good scare after all he'd done.
This fandom goes dark sometimes, but this is brutal. Not that I don't adore a different take than just "Danny forgives Damian immediately because it was Ra's' fault for raising him that way despite that in any Demon Twin AU Danny would be raised the exact same way and came out fine more or less."
Damian can't sleep anymore, every time he so much as blinks he sees the funhouse mirror version of his brother waiting, always ready for him.
Him explaining to his beloved family exactly who Danyal was, and why he would be so furious with Damian was a really bad conversation for everyone. Trying to explain how he hadn't brought it up because he didn't think he had done anything wrong for the first several months, and then continuing to say nothing because he was too guilty, did not help the situation.
Constantine reassures Damian (under the strictest of oaths to keep his trap shut) that "Danyal" was probably a Guilt Demon - never alive, couldn't be his brother at all - just reading his mind and picking the most painful form to paralyse him. Damian protests but John reminds him that it did actually work, Damian ultimately fought off his own father and entered the water of his own free will following the demon. Constantine puts himself on the case of exactly why a demon lord was so desperate to temporarily drag Damian to hell.
Damian still isn't sleeping. Bruce benches him and is more scared than ever when it barely gets a reaction.
The name 'Constantine' begins with a 'C'. After Danny purposefully chose Damian as his first victim, he goes alphabetically for the rest. And returning from the dead isn't as common as you'd think - the Justice League are just outliers. So it doesn't take too long for Constantine's reckoning.
He's missing for a week.
Constantine shows up on Wayne manor's doorstep with terrible news. The being wasn't a demon - a being who had never been anything else. It was Damian's brother. Or it had been, once.
So and so happens and they manage to summon Danny or something then have a conversation along these lines.
Constantine: It's time to let go of your grudges and rest.
Danny: What grudges?
Constantine: I know you were once known as Danyal Al Ghul.
Danny: *looking and Constantine like he thinks something is wrong with him.* Yessssss. I prefer going by just Danny now though. Whats your point?
Constantine: Can't have you causing trouble and takin' your issues out on the kid. *gestures to Robin*
Danny: *stills with a look of confusion* What in the Realms are you talking about? Wait, what do you think is going on here?
Constantine: Your a supernatural being that needs to be made to let go of your grudges and be put to rest.
Danny: Hold the phone, are you-your talking like I'm some sort of inhuman demonic creature. *silence* Seriously?! Just because I made you deal with your paperwork you decide I'm some eldritch 'thing' that needs to be dealt with? Let me guess, you-
Batman: What paperwork?
Danny: huh!?
Batman: what paperwork?
Danny: Oh, the paperwork those who have cheated death have to fill out. We finally caught up on all the backlog from Pariah Dark's naptime years.
Constantine: *shocked* Pariah-?!
Danny: Yeah yeah, bloodthirsty tyrant previous king of the Realms yada yada.
Constantine: previo-!
Batman: *cuts in* What about Robin? Did you also take him to deal with this 'paperwork'?
Danny: Uh yeah? Just cuz we're related doesn't mean he can skip out on it. Plus it gave me a chance to get my revenge for him killing me.
Bruce: *tense* What sort of revenge are you planning?
Danny: Planning? What are you talking about? I already got it,, Itraumatized him when I got him for the paperwork, best prank I've ever pulled really.
Bruce: That was your revenge? You don't plan to kill him?
Danny: What? Why on earth would I do that? Damian betrayed me but I don't want him DEAD. Plus the whole reason he killed me was because I wouldn't kill. I was already against killing, why would I be for it after being killed myself?
Bruce: .....
Danny: So we good here? Cuz I finally finished the paperwork I was supposed to do and was planning to hang out with my friends.
Constantine: Wait, what do you mean Pariah is no longer king?
Danny: Just that, he's not long king. *shrugs* Hasn't been for 2 years now. Now I don't know about you, but I don't exactly want to spend any more time with some dude who doesn't think of my as a person, only a pest to be rid of.
Maybe also have:
Constantine: I-
Danny: Nah I'm done with you, hey Baba!
Batman: *startles and looks up at Phantom*
Danny: If you ever want to talk you can find me in Amity Park, Illinois. And as long as he promises not to kill me again you can bring Robin too I guess. I wouldn't mind seeing you guys. See ya. *Danny dips out*
Dc x dp prompt #44
Danny goes full eldritch mama cat on the batfam after they somehow end up hurt in the Infinite Realms. Absolutely enormous and completely nonverbal, just chirps and static filled purrs as he wraps his tail around all of them to make a nest.
Trying to escape the nest only leads to getting picked up by the scruff and gently put back.
Mama Cat Danny finds that the grouchiest one is the dirtiest. Poor thing has been covered in who-knows-what for who-knows- how- long and like any good parent, set about cleaning him up.
With each pass of the beach towel-sized tongue, Jason gets sleepier and sleepier. It's as if the rough tongue has buffed away all of the little aches and pains, all of the crawling sensations, and all of the agitation. There were worse ways to be captured.
He looks over at the rest of the family, curled tails of darkness and space tucking them into burritos, each slowly calming down. Tim is already asleep in the fetal position, drool pooling on his cape. Duke is getting a sign language lesson from Cass (their hands are the only ones free). Damien is talking about cats and info dumping on Steph who is yawning and nodding along.
And Bruce- the mighty Batman- is pinned under one massive paw, with a dead pan expression that said "This might as well happen. At least we aren't being attacked."
The big Not-Cat purred louder as Jason leaned back into the creature, happily continuing its mission.
Bruce is still trying out various escape plans, but each loses more and more steam as Danny’s rogues drop by to see what he’s got
A lot of them are overtly aggressive (this is their friendly hello but he doesn’t know that), talk about wanting to hunt his children, but the monster that has captured them is… defending them
It might well just be possessive, and have bad intentions for them, but for now he can’t deny this is the safest place to rest and plan
And it’s so hard to stay tense and paranoid with those soothing hypnotic rumbles - which is clearly what they’re for, it’s a trap of some kind, but he can’t tell how to fight it yet
So he rests for now, conserves his energy, watches his children and prepares
The creature is fixated on Jason and like hell is Bruce gonna let his son go again, but… when was the last time he saw Jason that happy? That peaceful? He isn’t even struggling
**
Danny meanwhile is quite content now that the big ones have settled down and really gets to work on his dirty new kitten
The others are playing nicely, and occasionally he makes little chirps so they know he isn’t ignoring them, he’s just dealing with their dirty dirty brother
(The bats are disturbed at how quickly they begin to understand the unnatural chirps and meows of their giant host, the most liminal first;
Jason picks it up after the first couple times and is so offended he almost sits up telling Danny to fuck off calling him dirty
This befuddles everyone but Damian, who snorts and tells Jason he’s dripping in drool and that isn’t the worst of it, the creature’s cleansing him
Cass is the next to understand, then Bruce, Dick, Steph. Duke and Tim are befuddled for days, not understanding both Danny’s noises and how the others seem to know exactly what he’s saying)
After a week Earth time a pair of human kids come, which is fucking wild because the Justice League should be looking for them but from the bats’ perspective it’s been hours
Danny is happy to see Sam and Tucker and show them his new kittens one by one, all but his dirty boy who is not fit for company
(Jason is offended again Danny has mentioned more than once that Damian is also dirty and so are Bruce and Cass this is bullshit)
Sam and Tucker try to gently explain to Danny that these are in fact superheroes and have families and Danny is just
The snootiest siamese
Stares down his nose
Any family that let their kittens get this dirty do not deserve them these are his babies now
Sam pinching the bridge of her nose. Looks super frustrated but not scared.
"Please, please can you return to your humanoid form?"
Danny responds with a series of meows, grills and chrips.
( not till they are clean)
which, gets a series of indignant responses.
Tucker looks up, hoping for patience.
"Well. What if we took the to Frostbite. He could give the kittens a health check as well!"
The bats watched, dumbfounded as that worked. Their kidnapper/ guardian picked them all up, with the two new humans and started to troy off somewhere.
Batman: Who are you, who is this, and where are we?
Sam: I'm Sam. That's Tucker. Mama cat is Danny. we are in the Infinite Realms.
Tucker: Free space between afterlives. Home of the restless dead, neverborn and embodiments of cosmic forces.
Tim: How are you here?
Sam: We came through the portal in the Fenton's basement duh.
Jason: I'm sorry. Your home town has a portal to hell inside it?
Tucker: Yeah! Did you not know that? Huh. Would a thought someone would have mentioned it during the calls for help last year.
Batman: Calls for help?
Sam: Yeah. Our home town is only still standing cause of Mama cat here. Since the Justice League ignored the hundreds of calls from Amity Park.
Batman: I see. It looks like I will have to check the call logs when we leave.
Tucker: Oh. Oh no. Sam... HE probably opened a portal in front of Danny so we'd all learn this!
Sam: HE would as well. At least we know now? Oh! Far Frozen up ahead! Get ready, it's cold here.
They all swore internally seeing a fucking yeti bound towards them. Never mind the cold! There are yetis as well! Sam and Tucker looked confused by their response. hmm. Clearly normal for them then.
how-many-tailed cat!danny (one tail to wrap around each children) who has the honor of being carried in his mouth
Jason. He is a stinky dirty boy. He gets carried on the mouth so Danny can continue to cleanse the Ecto with his aura. Jason, is not best pleased with this.
all the while Dani was there basking in Danny's attention uncalculated by batfam and for good reason. Danny changed specifically to take care of her while she was injured and had to change shape as well. Since then she has slowly healed back to her humanoid form and is less hidden by Danny.
She is sat on the top of his head putting away. Sometimes nibbles on his ear. Bats at a whisker. Damian wants to pet the baby. Ellie is happy to have a new friend. As she slowly turns more and more into her usual self Damian is like. ah! Now I get why the protect urge is so strong! The baby was hurt! So the big cat felt the need to help us!
LOLOLOL of course Damian is the one who comes to an understanding of what's happening. He probably understood the purrs from the beginning (The thought of the chirps more like Meows) but kept his mouth shut because he didn't really see a problem with being adopted by a big mama cat (even if Danny isn't actually a cat.) Adult cats have always been prone to adopting humans and taking care of said humans, after all. Seeing Ellie was only a confirmation on why Danny was so defensive and protective.
Damian knows his animals and has been the most calm out of all of them, which nobody understood why until Sam mentioned called Danny "Mama Cat".
(Who is a cat owner here? I don't really know cats that much lol)
Edit. Also here's tags from my old repost hahaha I didn't notice this is my second one till later
Damian just like... Well too late. The Mama cat has me now. May as well accept my fate.
The others Are like! No! I need to escape! Gotta go! Gotta get home!
No worry, John Constantine takes one look at the situation, understands the perils of scrambled instincts to shapeshifting creatures, and asks Superman,
"Hey, how low powered can you make you laser eyes? So low as just only visible, sweep it from that spot to over there slowly?
Danny has an injured kitten, and several contaminated kittens to look after. As much as he wants the red dot he can't leave them alone!
John sighs. Ok. Protective fine.
John: Gonna have to wait him out. I can get ya good and drinks. Float em over.
what if it was Dani who jumped on the red dot? Danny won't be happy! He finally had his calm, healing kitten. She can't heal if she hunts!
Or Danny holds Dani back while insulting the red dot to taunt an injured kitten! it's cruel !
And Damian who understands absolutely everything that is said in a way
Naughty kittens get scruffed. And mean adults who tease poorly kittens get smacked.
Superman expected it to hurt? But no. It was very much like when you get smacked in the back of the head by a parent. He does stop using the lasers though.
Constantine is glad he asked Superdude to use his lazer eyes instead of using his own magic. Don't want to put it on the wrong side of this thing dead but not dead
Within hours of Ellie being fully healed? Danny snaps out of it and shrinks back down to human form. Sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.
Danny: Sorry about that. Want me to help you get back to your home?
Jason: I wanna know why everyone keeps saying I stink!
Danny: Didn't Frostbite explain?
Jason: Yeah corrupted ecto. But why stink?
Danny: Oh. Yeah we can literally smell it. Where did you even find that stuff?
Batman: Hm. There are pools. We call them the Lazarus pits.
Danny: Shit! Ok. We need to deal with that then! I'll need... Hm. I'll need a few thermos. And all the blobs I can grab.
Damian: Thermos? Blobs?
Danny: Right. Yeah. Special containment devices made for Ecto and Ecto entities. Totally safe and humans way to grab my idiots when they play too rough in Amity Park. And blobs are these little guys! They feed on old Ecto and release pure stuff. Filter feeders basically.
Damian: Father?
Batman: No!
Danny: Actually! Given the fact you were around the gross ecto? Might be a good idea to take a few home with you. To make sure your home is clean ya know!
Batman:.... Fine.
Damian: Thank you!
Short DPXDC Prompts #880
Danny works as a receptionist for Arkham Asylum. It doesn’t matter if it’s far above his paygrade, if there’s a breakout, none of the inmates are leaving. Less rogues inside means less visitors that means he’ll be bored out of his mind until they’re rounded up again. That’s not going to happen on his watch.
“Quinn, get your butt back in your room or so help me–“
“Awwww, but Danny, it’s date night! Me and Ives got reservations and everything.”
“You’re gonna have to cancel those reservations.”
“Ah, c’mon, be a pal.”
“No, every time one of you do this, we go into lockdown and I’m stuck twiddling my thumbs. They don’t even let me have my cell phone when I work and I’ve read every magazine 9 times. If I have to go through that one more time this week I am going to end up in one of these padded cells.”
“spoilsport”
“Listen, let’s make a deal. You and ivy go back to your cell and I’ll order you some takeout from that place you like.”
“Well, it’s no fancy French place but orange chicken and a cozy night in sounds nice. Make sure to order extra egg rolls and don’t let them skimp on the hot mustard packets.”
“Extra hot mustard, got it.”
ho that's cute :3
does he let catwoman in from time to time so that they have a girls' night out?
well yeah, ofc, he keeps the INmates IN, but he doesn't care who visits as long as they follow proper protocol.
they even let him join after a while
the only 2 things danny cares about in this job are;
1 visters following having all the paper work filled out (the only things he needs accurate are time date and who they vist in what cell he gives no shits on if you scrible in the sections saying name or reason as long as there is something in the space)
2 inmates being IN- this is to avoid personal bordom and his jobs lock down protocalls
this also means he couldnt care less if people trade or share cells as long as theyre not causing a riot or about to try and brake out of arkham
At some point the bats get suspicious about the lack of breakouts, and want to know why. They bust into Arkham to see Ivy, Harley and Selina having a girls night with Danny. (he got food and supplies, he can stay.)
Batman does not know why this guard has rollers in his hair, a mud mask and is getting his nails done by Catwoman (who is NOT supposed to be there).
All Batman knows is that according to the director Fenton is keeping the inmates in and riots to a minimum.
Fentons methods may be … unorthodox, but they seem to be producing results.
….
Additional addition
….
The rest of the Fenton siblings join Danny at Arkham. Jazz is the therapist, Dan is the guard, and Ellie may or may not be an inmate.
…
And for a splash of plot
…
Hugo Strange is not happy that the Arkham inmates are actually getting better through the Fentons influence so plots against them.
Ellie is not an inmate. She’s haunting the asylum. This allows her to hang out without doing paperwork because Arkham has no protocols regarding ghosts haunting the place. It probably should, because it’s really just a matter of time until it needs them, but it doesn't.
Ellie makes sure to spend enough time floating aimlessly through walls, staring out of dark doorways, making weird noises, and slamming doors to qualify as a haunting spirit instead of a visitor. Honestly, she could probably get away with doing a lot less, given that the only one she needs to convince is Danny, but she's committed to the bit.
Ellie ends up learning of Hugo Strange's plans when she finds him monologing to himself, while she's invisibly exploring the asylum. Naturally, the appropriate course of action for the Fenton siblings to take is as follows:
1. Keep an eye on his schemes just to make sure he doesn't make trouble for anyone less resilient than them.
2. Tell no one
3. Mess with him at every opportunity
Hugo Strange doesn't understand how his plans keep backfiring in increasingly outlandish ways. He is quite certain the asylum is descending into chaos (though everyone else insists things are more peaceful than they've ever been). Why does nothing work on these weirdos?
BTW when I said the Fenton siblings are messing with him at every opportunity, I meant all of them. Jazz deserves to have some fun.
Joker has tried to kill the Fentons at least 3 times, each.
the second he turns his back on the corpse it vanishes.
Then the Fenton in question shows up, completely unharmed, an hour later.
They pretend like nothing has ever happened. Jazz writes a note in his file that he's begun hallucinating and prescribes him an antipsychotic. Dr. Strange is furious, because this coincides with the Joker slowly becoming less manic.
Joke's on him though: he's becoming less manic because Ellie has been siphoning of the curse energy he's dropped in and turning it into ghost drugs for Spectra, it helps her keep her form without having to feed off the living so much.
The vat of chemicals he fell into all those years ago also had a liquid curse mixed throughout it. This curse has bound itself so ferociously to him that even with death he will not truly be free, but she can siphon off the excess mania, giving him short reprieves from the full effect.
Ellis has no idea about any of this. She just recognised the 'vibes' he gives out as being similar to a fully fed Spectra, and took a sample in her Thermos to see if she knew what was up with it. After Spectra had such a positive reaction to it, she just kept taking more each day.
She has not mentioned this to anyone.
Did we just learn where Spectra worked prior to her death?
It makes a strange kind of sense for her to be from Gotham.
Dp x dc idea:
Danny & Co joining the Justice League and everything...but it's that wonderful DC AU where Bruce died in Ethiopia instead of Jason and Tim decided to be Dad (TM) of Jason's Robin and runs around as kid Batman for awhile (eventually becoming full legit Batman).
Danny & Co joining up after all of that, they have only known Tim as Batman (and for fun let's make this Brian Dead where Danny & Tim are dating, or are dancing around each other, maybe Super Brain Dead because I love Kon being involved).
Anyway, Tim is Danny & the Pham's Batman...and then they ended up accidently in the normal DC universe and meet Bruce Wayne Batman and immediately are like "Press X For Doubt" about the whole thing
Danny, squinting suspiciously: who the fuck are you?
Bruce: I'm Batman
Danny: No the fuck you aren't
Elle: Yeah no way, I know Batman, Batman's a sleep deprived twink
Tim (as Red Robin) walks in
Danny: holy shit they fucking shrunk Red Robin
Tim: What??
Elle: Okay what the fuck, first Batman isn't a twink and now Red Robin is???
Did he hide his real identity, or did he come back with amnesia, encounter someone who knew him as Matches Malone and just live as a thug until something happened to trigger his paternal instincts?
Because I can imagine him being being found by some goons who have good enough friendships with their good buddy Matches to help him get back on his feet. They figure the Bat must'a wrecked him. As far as they can tell, one of the mad scientist types shrunk him and it had a side effect of making him feral. He's not reigning in his brat the way he used to either.
I think Matches got himself employment and an apartment that didn't require legal documents. He tried to take the least awful gigs he could. Matches is one tough son of a gun, but he has a soft spot for kids and wouldn't ever hurt 'em. He helped establish The Goonion, because he just can't bring himself to stop fighting the good fight.
Eventually, Talia finds him and brings him to the League of Assassins, thinking she might have better chances of convincing him to stay with her now. It almost works, until he sees how Damian is being "trained." (We all know subjecting a child to League training is abuse, but Talia can't recognize it because she grew up in that toxic environment and never escaped it. She just thinks that's how raising a child works.)
After that, Matches is significantly less interested in the beautiful and dangerous woman than in getting the kid safe and cared for. He treats his wounds, and gradually gains the kids trust. At some point, Matches learns that Damian is "the son of the Bat" and is "honing his skills until he is worthy of his father's training."
"The Bat wouldn't let them put you through this. I ain't never been the Bat's biggest fan, but one thing I always respected him for is that he don't let nobody get away wit' hurtin' kids."
"I'm not a child."
"Yes, ya are, and they got no right to try and steal that from you. Please, kid, let me take you to the Bat, he'll make sure nobody hurts ya again."
Eventually, Matches manages to escape to Gotham with Damian, and his blood boils when he realizes that Batman is a damned kid who can't possibly be old enough to have a kid Damian's age. What kind of game were those League Weirdos playing? Damian doesn't seem to have realized the impossibility, simply remarking that he'd thought Batman would be taller, and Batman seems willing to play along to keep the kid from going back to the League.
Of course, Matches can't just leave it, now that he knows the Bat and his partners are just a bunch of kids. The crew always said this bleeding heart of his would get him into trouble. There's only so much he can do, but the Bats now have an inside man and an adult to lean on. Matches may not be hero material, but he can and will support these kids.
Then the Ghost kids show up and Matches has to be held back from Hunting down whoever is responsible for this! They're just kids! And they're good kids! They deserved better, damn it!
oh, by the way, Matches Malone totally killed the Joker.
After all, he's not Batman; he's just a man looking out for his kids. Unfortunately for Joker, mercy is the privilege of the strong.
Matches isn't a billionaire with access to all of the resources he could possibly need to handle things in the best possible way. He's just a thug living in the poor side of town. Maybe another man living a different life could've found a way to protect his family from the Joker without killing him, but all Matches had to work with was his knife-throwing skills.
The kids don't know.
All anybody knows about what happened to the Joker is that being a nightmare to work with must've caught up to him because it looks like one of his own goons did him in right in the middle of setting up his next scheme. It doesn't occur to anyone that Matches might have had anything to do with it. It was well known that he refused to ever work for the Joker.
#where is alfred?!#is he in the background just like#should I tell them?#nah#where is dick#is he still in space?!?!#did he just never decide to return#does he just not recognize Bruce?!?!?!#if anything alfred 100 percent recognizes him#he raised that boy
Tags from @thekrazykitsune
You raised some important questions.
I'll start with why the kids don't recognize him. Bruce had some damage to his nose and jaw that healed a little funny in ways that slightly changed the shape of his face. It wasn't so much that it would render him unrecognizable to many people, but the Batkids attention to minute details paired with their certainty that Bruce was dead got in the way. He also behaved differently because he picked up a lot of mannerisms from his friends in Crime Alley during the recovery process.
Add in that they all know that grief does funny things to the mind and are probably expecting their brains to see Bruce everywhere for a while, and you get them ignoring any recognition and writing it off as denial. By the time they're past this stage, they've already gotten used to Matches.
Danny and Dani, on the other hand, never met Bruce before he was Matches, don't even know there was another Batman before the one they met, don't do bat-style extreme analysis, and don't have any reason to think "it can't possibly be him."
Alfred absolutely recognized Bruce when he eventually met him (they didn't just bring a stranger into the Batcave right away). However, by the time Alfred met Matches, he had settled into his new life and achieved a sort of contentment that Bruce never did.
Matches Malone is active in his community. He engages with his peers in a genuine way and forms meaningful relationships. He doesn't hide his smarts and ingenuity or his humor and humanity because he has no reason to do either. Matches is driven to do good in his community, but isn't consumed by a mission.
Matches acknowledges that some things are simply beyond his control. He's accepted that doing his best and doing some good is good enough. He doesn't spiral with guilt every time something awful happens. He shares his sorrows with the people who support him and heals.
Alfred is conflicted about the memory issue, and decides to prioritize supporting him and bringing him back into the family first and foremost. The big philosophical questions can take a back seat to the health, safety, and comfort of his boy.
Dick is still Nightwing. He had a lot of grieving to do before he was ready to reconnect with the Bats, and he never wanted to be Batman in the first place. Why would he take up the mantle when someone else already had and was doing a good enough job?
I wasn't really considering that Dick would become Batman in the first place because, but the Alfred part makes sense. He sees his boy happy and decides it's best to support him as he is now. It also makes sense that the batkids would be like, of course, we're seeing Bruce in him we see Bruce in everyone.
Although what do Danny and Dani do now with the knowledge they hold?
That depends on what knowledge they hold.
Do the canon crew get around to explaining that Matches Malone is an alias sometimes used by Bruce Wayne who is the original Batman and the adoptive father of Dick Grayson and Jason Todd?
Do Danny and Dani go through the whole adventure thinking "wow, there's a dimension where Matches Malone is Batman. I wonder how he wound up taking up the mantle."
I don't know what they would do in the first case, but in the second they would absolutely tell everyone without a second thought.
"Man, other dimensions are wild. We just stumbled across a world where Matches was Batman."
"I can't picture it. I could never be the guy what has to lay the smackdown on Maurice and Sven just cause their boss is an ass. Besides, bats creep me out."
