Who are you and why are you in my house?

Fandoms, puns, vines, learning to be a better ally.

[curioscurio]

ads these days are so sensitive to being tapped like darling my fingers barely brushed you and youre already opening yourself for me... well close those damn legs. dont make me get the taser

[sneefsnorf]

im gods weakest faggot

[crabussy]

i’m gods strongest tranny let’s team up. what if we called ourselves team rocket

[cedar-scars]

im gods most literate cat can i join

[the-problematic-trolley]

I’m a straight up mob boss with a lioness for a pet, you’re all hired.

[pinkfire-chacarera]

my yellow rat and I find this really offensive and problematic

[gg-is-a-loser]

wobbuffet

[wileycap]

ok I'm sure this has been said but Sokka striding into a fucking Fire Nation school as Wang Fire is incredible & has swagger, considering that the origin for Wang is "King" in Old Chinese. I know most of this website is usamerican, so, I'll try to put this in a slightly lopsided, mostly vibes-based, and thoroughly unserious analogy:

The year is 1968, the height of the Vietnam War. A young Vietnamese dude and his sister walk into a conservative Christian school in Texas, United States to meet the principal. Not even batting an eyelash, the guy goes "Howdy, my name's President America, this is my wife Miss America, and we're here about our son, Jimmy."

(Later, it turns out that Jimmy is Jesus, and he threw a hippie party in a cave for the school kids. He was enrolled for two days.)

[lesb0]

calling every instance of showing certain emotions "emotional labor" needs to stop. I just saw a post that was like "reminder that you do not ever need to be a good or kind person" like. Yes you DO???

[yeet--haw]

[probablybadrpgideas]

Your players are faced with an ancient Sumerian curse! However, since the early ancient Sumerian language was only used for recording tax debts, it turns out to actually be an ancient Sumerian bill.

[morkaischosen]

and therefore they need to get hold of some ancient Sumerian coinage and bring it to the ruins of the ancient Sumerian tax office, because the Sumerians had a pleasingly direct way of preventing tax evasion, namely horrifying curses.

[duckbunny]

well I don’t have any coin but I have these copper ingots, lovely copper ingots, from a very reputable merchant, never heard a word said against him, very thorough with his paperwork, anyway they’re guaranteed pure copper and proper weight, so can I pay my tax with those?

[bunjywunjy]

I just want everyone to take a step back for a second and really think about how we’re using the most powerful knowledge tool in history to make jokes about a specific dude who lived almost 4000 years ago.

it’s fuckin wonderful, is what it is.

[squeeful]

Ea-nasir has been dead for 4700 fraudy fraudy years.

[valarhalla]

I can’t tell y’all as a person who studies Sumeria and knew about him before it was cool how fucking weird it is that Ea-Nasir is now a meme.

[thevideowall]

As much as I love Ea-nasir being a meme, there is something else displayed in the assyriology section of the British Museum near the Complaint tablet to Ea-nasir that I think is just as meme-worthy

Let me introduce to you to five clay model dogs found beneath a palace doorway at Nineveh. They guard against devils and demons and are modelled after real dogs that lived there over 2650 years ago

Their names are Loud is his bark!, Biter of his foe!, Don’t think, bite!, Catcher of the enemy! and Expeller of evil!

and I love them

[vmohlere]

Don’t think, bite! is my quarantine persona

[lasrina]

My corgis are petitioning to change their names to Loud Is His Bark! and Expeller of Evil.

[beemovieerotica]

pirates of the caribbean really introduced an eldritch octopus man who kills indiscriminately and torments the dead as their poster villain and then you watch the movies and it's like, "oh no, actually the worst villain in this series is a small white british man who functions as the herald of capitalism" and that was very very brave of them

[theunvanquishedzims]

#here is a man so heartless he has literally cut his own heart out of his chest #but he's still not as evil as the fucking east india trading company

[marsapartment]

Nicola Scott, a hero who loves Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman, pitching the Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman 80th anniversary covers: they all face the front of the cover in the same position, showcasing their different suits over the years!

Dc: Fantastic. Fantastic work, Nicola. Now how about Dick Grayson?

Nicola Scott, a hero who loves Dick Grayson but who also understands Dick Grayson on a fundamental level:

"ass."

[bats-n-birds]

I literally can’t stop thinking about this post

[starry-nightengale]

Sleeping Beauty AU where the princess was born on a Leap Day, so when the evil fairy curses her to prick her finger “on her 16th birthday”, her family realizes that’s not the same thing as her 16th year of life and she’ll actually be in her 60′s when it happens.

[laurasimonsdaughter]

By the time the Royal Counsellor has finished speaking the King looks slightly less like he might faint and the Queen actually looks a little hopeful.

“Are you certain?” she pressed.

“Absolutely,” the Counsellor assured her. “I had one of my clerks take notes during all the fairy’s speeches for the exact purpose of studying their phrasing.”

“What,” the King blinked. “Even the good ones?”

The counsellor sniffed. “Especially the good ones.”

“So…so we can truly argue that it is the birthday that counts and not the passing of the years?” asked the Queen, colour returning to her cheeks.

“Indeed!” the Counsellor said with a smile. “So if my math is correct your daughter will be sixty-four when the curse enters into effect.”

“That is hardly what I would call a long and prosperous life!” the King protested.

“Ah, but it does give her Royal Highness the Princess a lot more time to find this contractually necessary one true love,” his Counsellor explained. “Quite a reasonable amount of time I would say, if she happens to be of a romantic and monogamous persuasion, of course.”

The royal couple looked equal parts relieved and bewildered.

“But there’s no need to worry about that just yet,” the Counsellor said comfortingly. “And besides. Times are moving on. That is the entire reason we have the High Court of Magical Justice. Why, just last month a transformed prince was kissed back to human by his platonic life partner after successful litigation against the original layer of the curse! It is riveting caselaw.”

“…this is a good thing, yes?” the King ventured.

“Very good,” the Counsellor nodded.

“Well then!” Her Majesty the Queen beamed. “In that case, I say we continue the celebrations!”

“Quite right, Your Majesty, quite right,” the Counsellor said with a bow. “If you need me, I shall be in my study.”

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Our DM likes to take inspiration for NPC's from books, movies, and shows she enjoys and is a known fan of Neil Gaiman. Us players are starting to connect the dots with some new NPC's:

*DM introduces an Aasimar Professor NPC, described as wearing soft colors, cold coco on his desk, and having many books in his office*

Players: Aziraphale?!?!?

*Professor has a good size black snake just chilling on top one of the bookcases*

Players:"CROWLEY!?!?!?!?"

*Players ask about an inn in a town they are traveling through, told about one with an owner that has owned it for a long time but doesn't seem to age much*

Players: *immediately suspicious*

DM: *Describes there being a large black cat with starry eyes lounging on the end of the bar at the inn*

The one player the DM got to watch Sandman with her: "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME"

[lemonylepid]

Do you think prince Zuko slurps noodles really loudly

And his crew never tells him because they don't wanna get yelled at

But then later Toph makes fun of it constantly and he had no idea and he gets all embarrassed

[muffinlance]

Okay but

REAL WORLD TRIVIA TIME!

Whether slurping is considered rude is cultural

In Japan, it can be rude not to slurp, because slurping shows how much you're enjoying the food

So this could be:

Zuko on his ship: *slurps*

The Cook: *quietly pleased that even Prince Brat likes his cooking*

But this could also be:

Zuko at the Western Air Temple: *sllluuuurps at everything the Gaang serves*

Katara: *eye twitch* His mouth is full of water I could do it, I could murder him right now

Sokka: Not until he teaches Aang please

Toph and Aang: *pause a moment, then start SLLLUUUURPPING*

[muffinlance]

@lizardlicks added these very important tags:

#Actually it would be really funny if that was one of the things that gave Zuko away as fire nation #yes they're all peasants but that doesn't mean he can abandon his manners!

So I present to you:

Zuko on the ferry: *slurps now that he has decent ill-gotten food*

Jet: *playing 4D chess against himself on "peasant manners" v "Fire Nation manners"*

[soma1791]

Preserving Muffinlance's tags:

[waynefamilyreactions]

[diysyfhcjtssuiteryyxhcft]

The biggest lie in fanfiction is that everyone has a first aid kit in their house. I have never owned one in my life

[ragingbookdragon]

Wait do y’all not have like…first aid boxes in your hall closets? Like just a plastic box that has your basic first aid shit?

[spider-man-sass]

1000% done.

[lnane]

The emotion in the last panel tho

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we need more divorcebaiting. how strongly can canon imply (without technically outright stating) that these two characters are bitterly, acrimoniously divorced? essential we explore this

[soma1791]

Preserving gaud's tags for posterity and also to clean out my likes a little.

[avfwdrugec]

Gentle reminder that the human eye is naturally drawn by noise and movement, so the next time you walk into a crowd or a bit late into a lecture or something like that, they’re not staring at you or judging; it’s just an instinctive reaction that has nothing to do with you doing anything wrong.

[amymaymusings]

This really helps my anxiety.

[hinohde-deactivated20180613]

oh.

[systlin]

It’s literally a threat assessment/food gathering instinct. The steps your brain is doing, subconsciously. 

-Check to see if movement is lion in grass.

-Also check to see if possible game animal and edible. 

-No it’s just Dave getting into lecture hall a few minutes late. 

-That’s boring. 

-Lose interest. 

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

I like to believe that for a brief second, everyone looks at me thinking I might be a snack

[cassettetapecryptid]

I am a snack. Obviously.

[rafterdarkr]

why are all these modern aus for the Odyssey set in a high school. where's the retelling where Odysseus is just a guy lost in an airport who keeps missing his connecting flights home due to a comical series of delays and disgruntled airline employees

[idiotcommander]

Absolutely genuis

[muffinworry]

Every few minutes, someone honks. The woman behind the wheel shifts and lowers her sunglasses to glare at the circling cars in the rearview mirror. Vultures. Let them curse. She keeps her doors locked and her phone battery charged. Penelope has been waiting in the arrivals lot for far too long, and she refuses to give up her place for anyone.

[detectivehole]

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

[detectivehole]

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

[qqueenofhades]

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

[flavinbagel]

In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.

Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:

[theterriblethingabouttulio]

holy shit read the article. it’s worth it and completely batshit

[kat-witha-k]

This is fucking insane

[brightlotusmoon]

[mod2amaryllis]

I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted

[drtanner]

We watched this with the FC literally last night so I'm delighted to reblog this again. What a fucking movie.

[dduane]

Just said to @petermorwood last night, "I'd say it's time for a rewatch." Gonna do that right now. (If I have to sit here doing this Mailchimp crap, at least I can have Yzma yelling "Why do we even have this lever?!" in the background.

[abronzeagegod]

The Sweatbox Documentary (Full Unedited Version) : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

Sweatbox Documentary ( Full Unedited Version)

Remember that time that Trudie Styler was allowed to make a Making Of Documentary about Kingdom of the Sun/Emperor's New Groove because her husband (Sting) was hired to do the music and this was part of his contract, but the doc showed how much of a disaster the making of this movie was so Disney refused to release it but then it got leaked on the internet and now the internet archive has it?