social battery is drained

i post like, one thing per month, then whisper oh no oh no why’d i do that then disappear

[space-between-the-couch-mattress]

fall

[64mpg]

what do you mean my childhood affected me

[64mpg]

i have terrible news

[creekfiend]

there are a NUMBER of folktale Woman-Creatures like selkies who exist to make the inherently coercive nature of heterosexual marriage explicit and to externalize male anxiety about how if your wife had actual autonomy she very well might disappear and you might never fucking hear from her again

which is a FASCINATING category of Woman-Creature imo

[creekfiend]

someone said it's also a cautionary tale about mistreating your wife and I think that's spot on especially for other related types of stories e.g. the crane wife. like I think these stories are very much Husband Anxiety Stories. the Woman-Creatures are black boxes whose interior experience it is impossible to know and who have strange and often seemingly arbitrary rules that you must follow or else they will disappear. idk. like. that's why I think that any empowering-to-women-ness qualities of these stories is incidental. I think they're externalized anxiety about coercive societal heterosexuality and the inability to truly Know one's wife in such circumstances.

[whetstonefires]

you also see a variant of this formula a lot (generally at the more literary end of the fairy tale space) where it's not a creature you capture, but a magical lady who picks you for seemingly arbitrary reasons, bettering your fortune enormously with her magic and wealth and second-hand status.

and then, for reasons usually at least slightly less arbitrary, fucks off again.

the husbandly anxiety here is more about not having access to coercion as an option.

[creekfiend]

oooo yes absolutely!

[creekfiend]

was just talking to Story about this and he told me about one folktale where a guy meets a beautiful woman at a lake and she brings a bountiful dowry of like one million fat cows and such and she is of course a fairy so she's like "my one requirement in our bargain is that if you strike me three times I will leave" and in many versions of the story the husband doesn't ""actually"" strike her -- each time it's something like, one 'strike' involves her forgetting her gloves inside and he walks out and taps her on the shoulder with her gloves, but she tells him that counts as striking her. this sort of thing. which is TRANSPARENTLY like "whoa wouldn't it be fucked up if your wife could enforce consequences for behavior she said was harmful, even if according to your cultural norms it was fine, and you didn't see it as a big deal?" like... lol. what if women could actually be the ones who decided whether or not any given action their husbands took against them was harmful? IMAGINE... PREDEY SCARY....

[colemckenzies]

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

[ggiornojo]

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

[colemckenzies]

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

[animatedamerican]

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

[nentuaby]

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

[animatedamerican]

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

[thepioden]

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

[rooksandravens]

Is it a glitch or a feature?

[cranberrybogmummy]

Feature

[lesbianshepard]

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

[lesbianshepard]

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

[key--lime--pie]

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

[notaflippinmermaid]

No, no no… you identify bone from rock or other substances by touching it to your tongue. If it sticks, it’s bone. The taste itself has nothing to do with it. And most archaeologists won’t lick human bones if they know they’re human.

…and I realize that doesn’t actually do much to prove archaeologists aren’t freaks.

[midnightmindcave]

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

[dinosauriaawesome]

I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them

[thesaltofcarthage]

I will never ever get tired of seeing bredlik poems. It is really one of the seminal art forms of the century. I am not being sarcastic. 

[wholesome-dragon-lady]

If I ever don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead and archaeologists are licking my bones.

[russsiawave]

[postilionstruckbylightning]

I don’t like how you put these two photos together, as if to imply that the dumplings with the paw print have anything to do with this sweet, innocent angel who has never done anything wrong.

[ask-crammaster-ham]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[calebwittebane]

ok everyone time to start laying eggs

[the-frightening-ghoul]

‎

[calebwittebane]

time to start laying eggs, frightening ghoul

[the-frightening-ghoul]

‎

[the-frightening-ghoul-jr]

‎

[calebwittebane]

this is how blogging can have a huge impact on the lives of people and ghouls

[ufo-encounter]

*flies past*

[ufo-encounter-jr]

* ᶠˡᶦᵉˢ ᵖᵃˢᵗ*

[ufo-encounter]

?????

[photographyofdavidhanjani]

[toddsolondz]

lord take my suffering and give it to nightwing

[boiwcndr]

short little panel grabs of dick and bruce <3

[mademoiseli]

The notes are broken. This is what tumblr is all about apparently.

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[fredricwertham]

Thinking again about the time Bruce auto-volunteered his most prominent love interest and Superman’s baby daddy for group suicide b/c he thought Dick was going to die

[fredricwertham]

He assumes that Dick dead = no point in living is a standard issue opinion that everyone holds and not, like, evidence of him own dysfunction

[thefighter2-deactivated20200212]

attacka you with a branch

[yallive-deactivated20260426]

attacka

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

attacka

[thefighter2-deactivated20200212]

fucking kill and smasha you on a rock

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[amerlcanapparel-deactivated2020]

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

[straighthater]

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

[timelordpillbug]

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

[hikingnerd]

When Russia sends you nudes

[dr-thackery]

[dismantlerepaired]

[ilovepretzelrods]

[thegingerbalrog]

[onwardwall]

[miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon]

#what the fuck happened here

[her-eyes-dared-me-with-danger]

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

[kyloschuyler]

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

[tree-of-blue-squirrel]

reblog it, because Russia can´t

[maradaisykat]

Thanks Obama 

[my-sisters-eyeball]

Wtf

[roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it]

When Russia makes this post illegal

[earthnicity]

I HAVE ONLY SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS

[dovahdez]

I will reblog this every goddamn time I find it on my dash

[a-wondering-thought-deactivated]

I have a piece of tumblr history on my blog now

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: atgctactttaatcaaaaattcaTattattatttgaagtcaacatTaaataattgaATCTgtgattaaacttg

Closest match: Bombyx mori BmN4 cell DNA, chromosome 24, sequence Common name: Domestic Silk Moth

(image source)

[willifolts]

When the domestic silk moth sends you nudes

[scp-threats-is-back]

Domestic silk moth is just being friendly

[yoink-a-doink]

Now the moth is banned in Russia

[fantasylover4538]

…well what the fuck is this

[kingofkaumidy2]

Art.

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

[sodom-hussein]

Old iconic tumblr posts gather gimmick blog comments the way DNA mutations accumulate over time

[starmaker-astral]

This is why I love tumblr

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

When the DNA mutations send you nudes

[space-between-the-couch-mattress]

when nudes send the mutated silk moth

[discowing-ding]

angry robin this happy robin that dick was the GIGGLESHIT robin jason was the CHUCKLEFUCK robin tim was A WHITE BOY WITH A LITTLE BIT OF SWAG and damian is JUST PLAIN COOL

[human-police-officer]

One important thing to know about me is that I will never give up on Dick Grayson being 8 years old when Bruce Wayne found him.

For one, it’s funny to imagine baby Dick Grayson beating up bad guys while making bad puns.

For two, Dick and Bruce being orphaned at the same age is an important parallel between them.

For three, making Dick older than 8 at the beginning of his Robin career decreases the time he and Bruce spent together as Batman and Robin and we need every minute of it to explain whatever the fuck those two have going on.

Also, there is no good reason to change it.

“It makes Bruce seem more reasonable.”

Really? I admit, putting an 8 year old in a costume to take him crime fighting is a bit unhinged by real world standards. But if the kid is 10 or 12, that’s no different. Still insane. So sorry, I don’t buy that reason.

“The timeline…”

The timeline is broken beyond repair anyway. Fiddling with Dick Grayson’s age is like putting a bandaid on a gushing stab wound - a dirty bandaid that also gives the patient an infection.

“It explains his skills better.”

They don’t need explaining. He is the boy wonder, not the boy midfest, because he was extraordinary smart, fast and athletic, even at a very young age.

So the benefits of making him older are not worth destroying the parallels between Dick and Bruce. I dare say the benefits are nonexistent.