#dec221
Stranger Things

@theartofmadeline
Jules of Nature
almost home

shark vs the universe
Sade Olutola

PR's Tumblrdome
Monterey Bay Aquarium

★
One Nice Bug Per Day
No title available
Game of Thrones Daily

#extradirty
Three Goblin Art
Sweet Seals For You, Always

izzy's playlists!

Kaledo Art

Andulka
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

titsay

seen from Finland
seen from United States

seen from Russia
seen from Israel
seen from Türkiye
seen from Germany

seen from Malaysia

seen from Germany

seen from Türkiye

seen from Malaysia

seen from Singapore

seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Israel
seen from Netherlands

seen from United States

seen from Germany

seen from Türkiye

seen from Netherlands
@sterling-starling
#dec221
i just feel like you guys should see this thread about foxes
For some reason, when biologists want to describe “the assemblage of morphological features shared among many members of a phylum-level group” we say bauplan. Which is German for “body plan.” But even if you don’t speak German you say “bauplan” anyway. So this is a very hilarious Social Media Discourse from someone who has forgotten that the word “bauplan” is an instant giveaway that you are actually a biologist and that makes it fantastic it’s like when robots try to pretend that they’re human but better
@felis-cultus
Problems:
I want this story to be written
I don’t want this story to be written by anyone but me
I don’t want to write this story
ultimately i think kindness is the most radical thing you can do with your pain and your anger. it’s like, you take everything awful that’s ever been done to you, and you throw it back in the world’s teeth, and you say no, fuck you, i’m not going to take this. you say this is unacceptable. you say that shit stops with me.
humans are fucking terrible and this awful world we live in will fucking kill you but if you are kind, if you are brave and clever and try really hard, you can defy it. you can impose on this bleak and monstrous structure something beautiful. even if it’s temporary. even if it doesn’t heal anything inside you that’s been hurt.
i’m gonna sleep and i’m gonna wake up and i swear by everything in this deadly horrible universe i’m gonna make someone happy.
i’ve seen a number of comments and tags where people feel that they must swallow or repress their anger in order to engage in kindness. that is not at all what i am recommending here. radical kindness is an expression of anger. it is not passive. it is not repressive. it does not require you, in any way, to forgive those that have fucked you up. it does not require you to be quiet.
it just requires that you be kind. viciously. vengefully. you fight back. you plant flowers. give to charity. play games. pet someone’s dog. scream into the dark. paint and write and dance, tell jokes, sing songs, bake cookies. you have been hurt and you don’t have to deny that hurt. you just have to recognize it in other people, and take their hand, and say: no more. enough. fuck this. no more.
have a cookie.
i will say this again: we are all going to die. the universe is enormous and almost entirely empty. to be kind to each other is the most incredible act of defiance against the dark that i can imagine.
i will say this again: we are all going to die. the universe is enormous and almost entirely empty. to be kind to each other is the most incredible act of defiance against the dark that i can imagine.
1. The universe is indifferent. We ought not be.
2. A good quote: There are two kinds of people. Those who think, “I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did.” And those who think, “I suffered; why shouldn’t they?”
3. Two good quotes by Kurt Vonnegut: “Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you’ve got a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies-“God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”
And: “Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”
#hopepunk
“Hope is not a lottery ticket you can sit on the sofa and clutch, feeling lucky. It is an axe you break down doors with in an emergency. Hope should shove you out the door, because it will take everything you have to steer the future away from endless war, from the annihilation of the earth’s treasures and the grinding down of the poor and marginal… To hope is to give yourself to the future - and that commitment to the future is what makes the present inhabitable.”
-Rebecca Solnit; Hope in the Dark
@eirana-know-more
This is also called ‘Absurdism’ The meeting of Nihilism’s “The universe doesn’t care” and “But I will, despite that.”
Right now, I’m sifting through 50+ applications for a new entry-level position. Here’s some advice from the person who will actually be looking at your CV/resume and cover letter:
‘You must include a cover letter’ does not mean ‘write a single line about why you want this position’. If you can’t be bothered to write at least one actual paragraphs about why you want this job, I can’t be bothered to read your CV.
Don’t bother including a list of your interests if all you can think of is ‘socialising with friends’ and ‘listening to music’. Everyone likes those things. Unless you can explain why the stuff you do enriches you as a person and a candidate (e.g. playing an instrument or a sport shows dedication and discipline) then I honestly don’t care how you spend your time. I won’t be looking at your CV thinking ‘huh, they haven’t included their interests, they must have none’, I’m just looking for what you have included.
Even if you apply online, I can see the filename you used for your CV. Filenames that don’t include YOUR name are annoying. Filenames like ‘CV - media’ tell me that you’ve got several CVs you send off depending on the kind of job advertised and that you probably didn’t tailor it for this position. ‘[Full name] CV’ is best.
USE. A. PDF. All the meta information, including how long you worked on it, when you created it, times, etc, is right there in a Word doc. PDFs are far more professional looking and clean and mean that I can’t make any (unconscious or not) decisions about you based on information about the file.
I don’t care what the duties in your previous unrelated jobs were unless you can tell me why they’re useful to this job. If you worked in a shop, and you’re applying for an office job which involves talking to lots of people, don’t give me a list of stuff you did, write a sentence about how much you enjoyed working in a team to help everyone you interacted with and did your best to make them leave the shop with a smile. I want to know what makes you happy in a job, because I want you to be happy within the job I’m advertising.
Does the application pack say who you’ll be reporting to? Can you find their name on the company website? Address your application to them. It’s super easy and shows that you give enough of a shit to google something. 95% of people don’t do this.
Tell me who you are. Tell me what makes you want to get up in the morning and go to work and feel fulfilled. Tell me what you’re looking for, not just what you think I’m looking for.
I will skim your CV. If you have a bunch of bullet points, make every one of them count. Make the first one the best one. If it’s not interesting to you, it’s probably not interesting to me. I’m overworked and tired. Make my job easy.
“I work well in a team or individually” okay cool, you and everyone else. If the job means you’ll be part of a big team, talk about how much you love teamwork and how collaborating with people is the best way to solve problems. If the job requires lots of independence, talk about how you are great at taking direction and running with it, and how you have the confidence to follow your own ideas and seek out the insight of others when necessary. I am profoundly uninterested in cookie-cutter statements. I want to know how you actually work, not how a teacher once told you you should work.
For an entry-level role, tell me how you’re looking forward to growing and developing and learning as much as you can. I will hire genuine enthusiasm and drive over cherry-picked skills any day. You can teach someone to use Excel, but you can’t teach someone to give a shit. It makes a real difference.
This is my advice for small, independent orgs like charities, etc. We usually don’t go through agencies, and the person reading through the applications is usually the person who will manage you, so it helps if you can give them a real sense of who you are and how you’ll grab hold of that entry level position and give it all you’ve got. This stuff might not apply to big companies with actual HR departments - it’s up to you to figure out the culture and what they’re looking for and mirror it. Do they use buzzwords? Use the same buzzwords! Do they write in a friendly, informal way? Do the same! And remember, 95% of job hunting (beyond who you know and flat-out nepotism, ugh) is luck. If you keep getting rejected, it’s not because you suck. You might just need a different approach, or it might just take the right pair of eyes landing on your CV.
And if you get rejected, it’s worthwhile asking why. You’ve already been rejected, the worst has already happened, there’s really nothing bad that can come out of you asking them for some constructive feedback (politely, informally, “if it isn’t too much trouble”). Pretty much all of us have been hopeless jobseekers at one point or another. We know it’s shitty and hard and soul-crushing. Friendliness goes a long way. Even if it’s just one line like “your cover letter wasn’t inspiring" at least you know where to start.
And seriously, if you have any friends that do any kind of hiring or have any involvement with that side of things, ask them to look at your CV with a big red pen and brutal honesty. I do this all the time, and the most important thing I do is making it so their CV doesn’t read exactly like that of every other person who took the same ‘how-to-get-a-job’ class in school. If your CV has a paragraph that starts with something like ‘I am a highly motivated and punctual individual who–’ then oh my god I AM ALREADY ASLEEP.
This this this this this
I’m an assistant manager of a restaurant and I have to go through cvs to look for new staff and arrange the interviews.
First thing. If it doesn’t have a cover letter I don’t even bother. Let me know you WANT to work here and you’re not just spamming your cv everywhere.
Honestly, I don’t care about your gcse grades. Want I want to see is where you’ve previously worked and for how long you’ve worked there. If you do want to include your school grades than a quick “science, English and maths were an X grade, and I completed another 8 grades ranging from X to X”
For the love of God get someone to check your spelling. I once had a cv from someone who claimed too have gotten an A in English and she LOVED to write and had such a passion for it. And every third word was spelt incorrectly. We didn’t believe a word of her cv because of this.
During your interview try to talk. A lot. Even if it’s not about the job. What are you passionate about? Do you like reading, is there a band you’re really into right now, do you have any unusual hobbies? If your interviewer sits quietly after asking a question it’s because we’re trying to get you to talk. To show us you’re comfortable and confident enough to talk to strangers. If there’s a silence and you don’t know what to talk about, start asking questions. “How does the line work” “how many people work here” “do you enjoy the job” “why this sort of decoration” anything to get going again. Sitting in silence is the worst thing you can do. This is a big thing in retail.
Our store uses the motto “hirer the smile” because we will teach you the skills of the job. We can’t teach you to be forward, friendly and confident though.
Perfectionism is not your friend. It’s rooted in the fear that what you do won’t be good enough. It’s over-valuing others’ opinion of you and your work.
Perfectionism leaves you paralyzed, waiting for the perfect conditions so you know it’s safe to act. Unfortunately, if you’re waiting for the perfect conditions, you may wait for the rest of your life.
If you can learn to fall in love with the process, rather than the product, you’ll be free to chase your passions unrestrained. Don’t let perfectionism keep you from moving. After all, you can’t steer a parked car.
Years and years later, I find this is still true. Not just for work, but also relationships and every other area of life.
broke: The Great British Bake Off has no conflict
woke: while The Great British Bake Off is refreshingly devoid of the usual man vs. man conflict, it is filled with conflict of other varieties, notably man vs. self (the contestants vs. their knowledge of baking) and man vs. nature (the contestants vs. the time limit)
Man vs. the forces of evil (the contestants vs. Paul Hollywood)
man vs. self part two (the bakers vs. their own hubris when designing an excessively complicated showstopper piece)
That side of depression
Why do people never talk about the part of depression when you just don’t want anything anymore? Everybody talks about when it hurts like hell, when you cry, when you cut, when you take drugs, when you break down. But no one ever talks about when you just lay down in your room, with a hole inside of you that you don’t know how to fill, and you don’t want to do anything even the things you usually like. So you just spend your day kinda waiting for it to end. And it’s horrible because you feel empty and guilty for that at the same time.
There needs to be more awareness of this kind of depressed state. It’s often the kind that is mistaken for laziness. I call it “A” depression, and I know it personally. The symptoms are apathy and anhedonia: Apathy (lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern and anhedonia ( the inability to experience pleasure from activities usually found enjoyable).
happy monday you animals live chaotically and enjoy some words of wisdom from my girlfriend
gd yes.
This was recorded by the Portsmouth Sinfonia in an experiment where all the members of the orchestra would swap instruments with each other and attempt to play them to the best of their ability.
favorite things about this
literally all the brass starts to get the hang of it and then the crescendos happen and everyone is like FUCK FUCK FUCK??? FUCK. JUST. BLOW RLY HARD.
the strings are lazy but also the same. like u can tell a lot of the ppl w/ the stringed instruments may already basically know how to play stringed instruments. like there’s definitely a section at the beginning where you hear a good portion going “oh yeah this is like. a smaller/bigger version of what i do.”
all you hear of any woodwinds is just “pffffttt??? pFFFTTTT???? PFFFFFTTTT I SAID PFFFFTTTT!!!!!” bc woodwinds are fucking HARD and you hear after like the first crescendo half of them just give up. they give up. they’re done. fuck this it tastes weird and my lips hurt.
that trumpet. that person is fucking TRYING man they fucking GOT this. they may not have figured out notes but they figured out LOUD and they GOT this.
I JUST DIED
I SEARCHED THIS POST FOR AGES OH MY GOD
#718e8d
welcome to the age of female superheroes
this video is my sexuality
holy shit
#afa750
let’s talk about our random links to celebrities!
serena william’s husband once bought me & my classmates a round of whisky
also he co-founded reddit but that’s less important than being married to serena williams
My sister hit David Suzuki with a shopping cart
While working a merch booth at a concert I once sold a shirt to Cameron Diaz with (at the time) Lindsay Lohan’s Girlfriend and remarked about Lohan being jealous to a friend. The next customer was Diaz’ agent.
My step-uncle-in-law (son of lady who married my grandfather after my dad’s mom passed) died of an overdose at Carrie Fisher’s house.
I sold an inflatable toupee to Sir Ian McKellan in Oakland. He was in a play with Patrick Stewart and was buying for him. I swear to the Lady his eyes fucking twinkled when he brought it to the counter.
My sister once knocked over Sandra Bullock’s kids in a bouncy house.
Macklemore used to sleep on my step uncle’s couch and they still talk occasionally
My mums an accountant to the guy that played ned stark, ed sheeran almost stole my friends cat and the lead singer of U2 proposed to my aunt (who rejected him lol)
Back the fuck up Ed Sheeran did what
he thought their cat was a stray and was going to move house so he went “guess I’ll take this stray cat which definitely nobody owns to wherever the fuck im going” and they had to stop him from yoinking their fucking cat
Holy fucking shit
Sara Bareilles’ uncle judged my history fair project in 10th grade. My mom’s friends in high school were super close with Metallica. They used to go to parties at the band’s house all the time. My aunt went to high school with Green Day. My grandparents went to high school with Creedence Clearwater Revival.
My dad used to lift weights with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Jon bellion went to my highschool, he still visits occasionally.
my mom knew magic johnson and they would go clubbing together and he was childhood friends with my ex’s mom’s brothers
I went to High School with Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s niece and every year she has Thanksgiving with Bill Nye and posts a Selfie with him on Facebook and it’s become a Thanksgiving Day Tradition; so last year when Bill couldn’t make it for some reason and she couldn’t post her annual selfie it was a slight uproar
I met corbin bleu at church and invited him out to laser tag. Loser had to buy pizza. So thats the story of how Corbin Bleu bought my friends and I pizza.
my cousin was a flight attendant for the owners of H&M. Barnaby Joyce (the shitty politician) lived at the top of my street for a few months.
My sister’s friend is John Boyega’s mum
Bruce Springsteen shops at my local mall sometimes and I met him there. My dad accidentally stepped on Paul Newman’s foot in a store once.
One of my elementary school teachers was best friends with Jim Mayer, the bassist for Jimmy Buffett’s backing band. We knew him as Uncle Jim (which i found out later was also a stage name that he used to record kids’ songs). He had a song about using mouthwash that still gets stuck in my head sometimes
My third grade teacher grew up and was friends with the actor Michael Myers. She live right next to him when they were kids. Apparently he’s incredibly nice. No goddamn joke, her last name was Powers
my partner works at a domestic violence shelter that was founded by jesse eisenberg’s mother in law
Family friend’s brother went to school with Tom Hardy, a family member hung out with Winston Marshall, and I know something about someone who met Jake Gylllenhaal but not enough to say much more aha.
Sean Dowdell (Chester Bennington’s longtime friend and writer/drummer for two of the bands he was in and co-owner/creator of Club Tattoo) came to my shop and taught me and my family how to pierce.
One of my grandmother’s very good friends happened to be married to Bob Wills. The King. Every few months he’d come by their town and play the dance hall.
I bumped into Benedict Cumberbatch while he was filming the Avengers, spilled coffee all over him, and instead of saying “sorry,” blurted out that Doctor Strange was my favorite. He got really excited and told me no one ever says that.
My aunt is friends with the Russo Brothers since they went to the same college and had movie nights. She ripped on them for having bad taste in movies.
My second cousin was a camera man and became close friends with John Travolta on set - so much so that when when the second cousin had a sudden heart attack, Travolta stopped filming to stay with him in the hospital.
Also, once I was hanging around an artist booth and the man who played Darth Vader came over to look at the art too, and we talked about our favorite East Coast comic cons.
I also witnessed some famous pro wrestler get peed on by a sugar glider.
Harry Goaz (Deputy Andy on Twin Peaks) is my mom’s cousin.
I accidentally high-fived Robin Williams & later almost got run over by Snookie’s stretch hummer in the same trip to New York.
a member of the jamaican bobsled team that cool runnings was based on came into my store to return a riding mower. he told me i had great hair and he wished he had it.
i worked for a major commercial airline once upon a time and we lost John Rhys Davies’ bags. i made it my personal crusade to find and reroute the bags to his destination, and when i told him i had been successful and his bags would arrive in LA less than an hour after he did, he was so happy about it he came up to chat with all of us at the business lounge counter for like an hour before the flight boarded. i told him that i loved everything i’d ever seen him in but my fave role of his was Professor Arturo, and he was so shocked and delighted that anyone even remembered Sliders, it was adorable.
Because of a babysitting gig I became friends with the founding members of Rooster Teeth (Gus, Burnie, Geoff, Joel, and Matt) and even did “guest” lines for some episodes of RVB during the Blood Gulch Chronicles. And through this hellsite I’ve become various levels of friends/acquaintances with like half the cast of Victorious and Dynasty.
My cousin’s wife is an actress and she was the english voice of Sailor Neptune. She’s good friend with Melanie Scrofano and told her about me making Wynonna Earp necklace and apparently Mel thought it was pretty cool.
Sean was in high school with Ansel Elgort and Timothée Chalamet and apparently they were both massive assholes at the time.
David Bowie complained about my mother’s cooking to 7,000 people
My grandfather drove Danny Kay around Toronto. Peter Furler borrowed my seat during his own concert. My family shared a flight with the All blacks. During soundcamp, I used Prince’s recording studio. I unwittingly tried on some of Dita VonTeese’s cast-offs and met her in the loo before her book signing. I shook hands with and hugged Mawkenzie Mandela after a brief chat. I’ve done and said awkward things with various bands. Pam Bolton and I discussed positive psychology in coaching; she called me brave and frighteningly honest.
My mother has shaken hands with presidents and PMs for her forestry work. Her aunt wrote a successful childrens series about a crime-solving granny.
“they’re burning all the witches”
ARTIST CREDIT
And there it is
And meanwhile, assholes with no sense of irony or history refer to the naming of sexual predators as a witch hunt.
I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”
I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments
Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”
My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.
I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.
please give us updates
Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”
And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying.
I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.
op will not die of natural causes
That’s the most interesting comment anyone has ever left on one of my posts
i dont know how to explain this but. this might be me. i had a brown hoodie exactly like that. the phone on the table? i had a black and white case like that when i was like 12. my middle school’s classrooms looked like that. this literally might be a picture of me in 7th grade, shoveling pasta directly from a ziploc bag into my mouth like some sort of goblin, reblogged by twelve thousand people on the worst website known to mankind. and i dont know how to deal with this
What’s interesting here is that there’s only a possibility that this is them in the picture.
This means one of two things:
1) They remember doing this, but believe it to be so commonplace that it could be literally anyone in that photo. Like if you saw a picture of someone reading a book, you wouldn’t be like “Hey, I read a book once! That must be me in that picture!” because lots of people have read books.
In this case, I bet their belief is based on personal experience. Perhaps there’s a town out there where people regularly eat pasta from a bag in class. Or even a secret society of such people living all over the globe.
2) They don’t remember doing this, but they’ve done so many bizarre (yet still extremely relatable) things that this could very well be one of them. This wasn’t the most noteworthy thing that happened to them that week. There were so many other, stranger, bigger things going on that they did remember, and this event simply wasn’t important enough to commit to memory.
In this case, they’re just out there living their life. Society told them “don’t eat pasta from a ziploc bag in class”, but did they let that stop them? No. They have bigger fish to fry.
i’ve never been fucking obliterated like this before. i dont know what to do. how do i go on when @perfectlygenericblog produced a fucking literary analysis of my life, wholly accurate, from one picture and my reaction to it. i’m getting this tattooed on my forearm
And yet she did not answer the question as to whether it was 1 or 2.