The Void

Come here for queer nonsense, fandom things, funny stories, and rants. Don't mind me being gay and disasterfull. To quote Stanley Hudson, "If you don't like it, you can leave." <3

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BatDad on Anxiety

Bruce: “Sometimes I really worry about you.”

Jason, loading his guns: “What about the other times?”

Bruce: “Other times I’m unconscious.”

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Damian: I'm grounded?!

Alfred: Yes, you are grounded.

Bruce: You disobeyed an order.

Jason, holding up a shovel: And now we are gonna bury you until you've learned your lesson.

Dick: Jason, that's not how grounding works.

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They later find Jason burying Damian in the backyard. Damian is lying with his arms crossed over his chest and Jason is humming songs from ‘Beetlejuice’

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@nightwingvixen23

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Saw the base for this and I just had to make it Supersons. I envision this as their elementary prep school uniforms

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Let’s be Formal with Mama

These are based loosely (LOOSELY) on the salwar kameez, but with a sword because. Y’know. Talia.

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“Damian!” “Kent! Put me down!”

Just some Supersons for the soul. And yes, Jon had bandaids even though he’s invulnerable but we’re ignoring that😌😊

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Damian on Accepting Help

Dick: “You know Dames, you can’t spell ‘independent,’ without ‘dependent.’” ☺️❤️

Damian: “And you can’t spell ‘Go f*ck yourself without f*ck you!”

Dick: “😳😧”

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BatFam on Tardiness

Bruce: “Jason is late. Again.”

Alfred: “I woke him at 8 and pretended it was 11, as requested.”

Tim: “I wrote a fake schedule saying we were starting at nine instead of twelve.”

Damian: “I changed his clock from AM to PM.”

Dick: “Oh no, we may have overdone it.”

Jason, bursting into the room: “WHAT THE F*CK TIME IS IT?”

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Daddy Bruce on Picture Books

So, the book ‘Stellaluna,’ was a big deal in my house growing up. If you haven’t read it, it’s a picture book about a baby bat (named Stellaluna) who gets separated from her mother and is trying to find her. Stellaluna stays with a bird family for a while before realizing she doesn’t belong with them. She eventually reunites with her Mother, and it’s the sweetest thing. Now imagine Bruce reading that book to his young kids, especially Damian. Imagine?? All the parallels???With the bird family being the League and Bruce being the mother bat????

Bruce: “See? Stellaluna found her family!”

Little Damian: “What if she gets lost again? Will she find them again?”

Bruce: “Of course! Bats always take care of their babies, no matter what.”

Or-

Little Damian: “The birds taught Stellaluna to eat bugs! That’s not what fruit bats do.”

Bruce: “You’re right, the birds have different rules.”

Damian: “Do…do you think her mother is mad at Stellaluna for following those rules?”

Bruce: “Not at all! Her mom loves her, no matter what. And see? Now Stellaluna eats fruit, so it’s all better.”

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Muslim Damian Headcanon

So if Damian is the only one fasting in the house, he’s probably mentally prepared to get up early the first day of Ramadan and cook for himself. Imagine his surprise when he goes into the kitchen to find Alfred cooking all his favorite foods.

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The BatFam as Stuff My Family Has Said, Part 2

Bruce: “Why did you think that was a good idea?”

Dick: “Sometimes I see chickens and I feel bad, but then I eat chicken and I just feel so good.”

Jason: “That’s what they make drugs for. I don’t need therapy.”

Tim: “Three pounds of caffeine? I’m gonna be awake for weeks!”

Damian: “Speaking of pain and misery, please stop singing.”

Cass: “The only America I can swear loyalty to starred in ‘Barbie.’”

Steph: “Dare me to lick it?”

Duke: *Relieved sigh* “The basement chicken is still there.”

Alfred: “That’s an opinion, but I’m right.”

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The BatFam as Stuff My Family Has Said, context not provided.

Bruce: “Don’t worry, it gets worse.”

Dick: “I cannot stop thinking about that cat’s chewing.”

Jason: “Who told you that you could dip into my cheese?!”

Tim: “It’s okay, I have adderall so I can do whatever I want!”

Damian: “That sweatshirt makes you look terrible.”

Cass: “I prefer eating salad in private…”

Steph: “All through the creature the house was stirring,”

Duke: “I’m gonna need to write so much fan fiction to get over this….”

Alfred: “My bike could eat those bikes for dinner.”

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Bat Bros Doing ‘Get Help’

*Dick and Tim are waiting in an elevator, about to fight some people*

Dick: “Hey, let’s do ‘get help,’

Tim: “No! I hate ‘get help,’ it’s humiliating!”

Dick: “It’s awesome, it works every time!”

Tim: “I’m not doing ‘get help.’”

*Elevator doors ding*

Dick, carrying a limp Tim: “My brother, he’s hurt! Get help! Get help!”

*Throws Tim into the guards*

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Damian Gets Injured

*In the batcave*

Damian: “I am telling you, I’m fine! I remember being thrown through the wall, and then the ambulance arriving.”

Bruce: “That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you.”

Damian: “Then what was that siren?”

Bruce: “That was your brother.”

Dick: “I was not that loud!”

Jason: “Cars pulled over, dude.”

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When the Batfam is pale AF

A rare sunny day in Gotham. Bruce finds Damian on the roof with a lawn chair, reading ‘Great Expectations’ to the Batcow.

Bruce: “Damian, what are you doing up here?”

Damian: “Gotta keep the tan up. It’s not a skin color, it’s a lifestyle, Father.”

Bruce: “…”

Damian: “See, you wouldn’t know that because you’re white as a GHOST.”

Bruce: “…”

Damian: “You’re haunting this house with your whiteness, Father.”

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Trans Tim and BatDad

*Grappling around Gotham on patrol*

Red Robin: *The faint wheezing of a dying harmonica*

Batman: "What's wrong? You sound like death."

Red Robin: *Strangled cat sounds* "I'm fine, just winded."

Batman: "Winded-? Wait. Are you binding."

Red Robin: *Pretending not to be gasping for breath* "Not at all why"

Batman: *Frustrated grumbling about idiot teenagers*