#incorrect steve rodgers

[1luna1lovegood1]

Clint: WHY AREN'T THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS? !

Natasha : so like, everything is the same as a kids' playground but bigger!

Clint : yeah, why don't we have those?!

Steve : they are called theme parks.

Clint: but you have to PAY for theme parks!

Steve: that's the adult part.

[clownsandmarvel]

Sam, calling Steve: What’s up man.

Steve, out of breath: I’m trying to get Bucky not to buy a $70 Gandalf Build a Bear.

Bucky: IT’S MY MONEY, STEVE!

Steve, at Bucky: YEAH! MONEY YOU DON’T HAVE!

Steve: Help.

[bisexual-chupacabra]

Steve: "Can I ask a dumb question?"

Tony: "Better than anyone I know."

[avengers-ensemble]

Steve: What’s trending right now kids?

Peter: Pain.

[clownsandmarvel]

Steve, concerned: Oh, I’m getting a spam call!

Steve, looking at the kids: How do I deal with this.

Harley: This is Danny’s Bakery and Abortion Clinic, where your mistake is our next bake.

Peter: This is the Von Svein, the first and only vampire-run morgue! Your loss is a meal for the boss!

Shuri: You’ve reached the Area 51 Hotline! If you hear explosion or growls, or feel the Uncanny Valley effect at any point in this call, we advise you to ignore it.

Nat in the background: That’s unrealistic, Area 51 call responses are a lot different than that. Trust me

[clownsandmarvel]

Peggy: Howard will find you a safe landing spot.

Steve: Cool. Now that I think about it, these bombs can’t go off on their own, they need someone to drop them.

Steve: And I can switch the coordinates away from New York City.

Steve. Great. Problem solved!

TVA: Oh no you don’t-

[avengers-ensemble]

Steve: Where’s the first aid kit?

Tony: Behind the bar.

Steve: This is just whiskey.

Tony: There’s also gin.

[avengers-ensemble]

Vision: 01000010 01100101 01100101 01110000 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100101 01110000

Microwave: 01000010 01100101 01100101 01110000 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100101 01110000

Steve: Wha-?

Tony: Shhh they’re communicating.