Ms American Pie

he/him | Lesbian | 20

[thatsmrghoul2u]

Awkwardstranger98 -> thatsmrghoul2u

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Tumblr being the "piss on the poor" reading comprehension site makes sense when you realize that 79% of adults in the US are functionally illiterate. Same goes for Twitter and TikTok.

that's a real high number, sport. where'd you get it?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey anon

please tell me you didn't google "US literacy rates" and then make the funniest possible mistake one could make in that situation

[verstappenalty]

what max verstappen gets compared to: senna, schumacher, jesus from the bible, the literal sun

what other drivers on the grid get compared to: max verstappen

[doomedmutual]

[memewhore]

[messygoku]

[targetedknowledge]

[muffinlance]

Calico out there putting tuxedo on the mats

[do-you-have-a-flag]

[ozempicofficial]

[kristina100000]

this happens to me every day i dont know how to make it stop

[superioronion]

can we nominate him for the Darwin award

[shadow13dickpistons]

Oh thank God someone explained this.

[theunsubtleknife]

Sleeping poorly is so embarrassing... sorry im grumpy I stayed up past my bedtime. Like a toddler

[brightmouth-deactivated20230417]

My spouse and I just had one of those “wait your brain works HOW?” exchanges, and now I am BURNING TO KNOW HOW IT WORKS FOR OTHER PEOPLE:

Fellow speakers of this feral bastard language (English), rb and tell me in the tags: what is the delineation for you, if any, between evening and night?

[machinot]

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

[fhauly]

repeat after me: i am a sexy bitch and no one ruins my 2014

[heirtocragflame]

I am a sexy bitch and no one ruins my 2014

[lleyksie]

let’s be primitive horses with mama

[greeniery]

i tried to make a venn diagram but my migraine is ironically too bad for me to have the brain power to take the time to fix the proportions and then i locked one of the text layers and got pissed off and gave up. but i kind of like it all fucked up like this

[json-derulo]

it pains me to say it but the more people talk shit about the women who wear those shorts/leggings with the weird butt seam that looks like it gives you a terminal wedgie, the more compelled I feel to take the women’s side

[json-derulo]

ohhhhhh my godddddddd you saw someone wearing really tight revealing pants in public? should we throw a party? should we invite goody proctor

[json-derulo]

and while we’re at it, I’m done worrying about cameltoe. I don’t have time to be pulling and tugging at my clothes all day. if you can see the outline of my pussy you should say thank you and go about your business

[json-derulo]

SAME WITH NIPPLES!!!!

[json-derulo]

[bundibird]

I'm gonna be honest for a second. I cant believe people still care about Taylor swift.

[witha-boxofscraps]

This CANNOT be left in the tags you came with RECEIPTS

[bundibird]

Sorry, @akinari-kashihara , she invited who the fuck to her wedding??

[akinari-kashihara]

Hi sorry

Taylor Swift fans ‘sickened’ after ICE contractor attends wedding

The contractor's company is responsible for running ICE's largest detention centre.