Sometimes I say stupid things

Or I say smart things. I don't make the rules. Bisexual, genderfluid, nebularomantic (she/he/it/they) Autistic and possibly ADHD

[pulpfanfiction]

[thoracs]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[throwtime]

I’m about to have a fun afternoon.

So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.

This should make for an interesting story.

[throwtime]

So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.

Arrival:

So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”

Retrieval:

So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.

Delivery:

So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.

What a great day.

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[regionalatbest]

i think that the "i do not control the ____" memes are generally tame and do not lend enough credence to the genuine absurdity of the original line that is

[mini-golf-champion]

I saw this and remembered that I had this thread saved in a folder and figured this would be a good time to bring it out

[matriarchyuzi-deactivated202508]

READ THE WHOLE THING. I cannot garuntee that you will be pleased, but I can guarantee that it is one HELL of a rollercoaster.

[aru]

Tumblr Code.

[geekishchic]

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

always reblog tumblr identification

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[malibuklaus]

[thequietpercussionist]

Maus

[caats]

[jooshthepunished-deactivated202]

[thequietpercussionist]

Happy pride month!!!!!!!!! Love you guys

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[thequietpercussionist]

Just went to Missouri Leadership Seminar. It was a great experience and I learned so much about myself and what I can do in this world. I can now be silly around people without feeling embarrassed, because I know that there are people out there doing the exact same thing. We became a family, all 129 of us. That said, there is fundraising that I need to do. I’m planning on returning as staff next year, and we were tasked with fundraising, so that we can offer the seminar to the ambassadors free of cost. For what I’m applying to do, I need to fundraise $200. Of course, it’s great if I raise more! All donations will go to the Missouri Leadership Seminar. Just make sure you say that it’s for that. My PayPal is in the image below. If you don’t want to donate money, just leave a comment letting me know how you’re doing!

[thequietpercussionist]

Well fuck. It seems I’ve moved on, much quicker than anticipated

[shelteringyourdna-deactivated20]

well look who it is. my old friend. the conses of my quences.

[thequietpercussionist]

Just got broken up with

[thequietpercussionist]

Hope this storm fucking kills me

[sungso]

a

[sqlatoon]

b

[getitogetherstevecarlsberg]

c

[bunnyclown1975]

d

[trashkingpit]

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[meticuloushand]

f

[natswash]

g

[oops-still-here]

h

[frecklesandcupcakesarchive-deac]

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[paperlettuce]

j

[quatzopal]

k

[egoi-sm-deactivated20161011]

l

[somethingsgottasaveyou]

m

[e-rror-404]

n

[mridia]

O

[jesusanddick]

p

[potatosoup]

Q

[connorsyouth]

r

[onlinehottie]

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[twoheadeddavghter]

t

[lovedoggos]

u

[brainmilks-deactivated]

v

[skeletonjock]

W

[goblinshell]

x

[sizequeen]

Y

[merzcar-deactivated20151231]

Z

[himejoshikomaeda]

what the fuck. theres not even a fucking joke here. its just the fucking alphabet. i was expecting some kind of fucking meme like “gun” or “john cena” or something like that but no its just the fucking alphabet. here. on tumblr.com. 26 users just fucking banded together to write the alphabet. what the fuck, man.

[batter-sempai]

I think the update broke them, and almost everyone else.

[thorneduprose]

1

[batter-sempai]

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[frogadier]

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[demondogdean]

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[thedemonshavethepolicebox]

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[thatgirlnamedeleanor]

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[arsonharmony]

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[mrl0]

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[thesilentstorm]

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[girlwithablg-deactivated2021120]

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[thamonster21]

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[yourmajestyyy]

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[somethinill-blog1]

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[penguinfacee]

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[imsoshive]

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[sonoanthony]

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[fuckthisblogshit]

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[th0tcheetos]

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[maybeantonioj]

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[2014phan]

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[phuck-phan]

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[amyros-e]

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[octolevi]

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[dauntlester-deactivated20151117]

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[imnotinlove-thisisnotyoursong]

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[punkdehaan]

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[murdercoeur]

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[danisontnonfire]

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[a-hundred-skeletal-butterflies]

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[jasonluvsnico-deactivated202010]

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[the-dweeb-life]

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[dani--dallas]

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[heckmelanie]

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[angelicbreadroll]

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[sunshinehowlter-deactivated2024]

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[holdmegentlylikehamburger]

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[tyler-josephs-legs-deactivated2]

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[billybibixx-blog]

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[wasteofalife-deactivated2017082]

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[nsfwphannetwork]

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[marstheworld]

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[grandpagoodadvice-deactivated20]

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[niijima-exe]

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[planetary-zoe-deactivated201608]

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[kiyotos]

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[valdimire]

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[prettythizzeed]

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[yosuke10]

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[scarletdavidd-moved-deactivated]

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[bndufhuisehfzuwehr789gfezhtru-d]

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[purple--ponytail]

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[lazer-corn]

69  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[volbeast]

70

[inverted-mind-inc-sideblog-deac]

71

[raintalker-deactivated20190516]

72 …..why not….making the best out of this sad situation

[ryuki-blogs]

73… I got so angry at this post I had to reblog it and continue

[dyamirityofthelord-blog]

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[bucxys-archive]

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[afoolishfigure]

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[ectoimp]

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[tieflingmenace]

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[sand-lynx]

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[luluquiq-reblogs]

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[itwasmemememenowgonelol-deactiv]

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[mandyjpg]

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[abrakedebra]

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[gemini--cricket-deactivated2017]

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[lana-strology]

89 ;/

[aleaxndra]

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[russellelelele]

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[lookatmytitle]

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[frostblight0-deactivated2019081]

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[carnotaurus-sastrei]

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[kaida-draws-deactivated20221102]

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[beta-wolfsky-deactivated2018021]

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[zues2k-deactivated20180930]

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[fluffyslove]

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[rainbowsnwater-deactivated20181]

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[deathwillconsumeme]

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[that-queer-piece-of-toast-deact]

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[slightly-spooky-socks-deactivat]

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[spud1234556]

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[yuripheal]

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[cryptic-eccentric]

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[esoteric-prince]

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[full-moon-battle]

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[its-mamoru-deactivated20210516]

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[sketchymel]

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[max-out-of-ten]

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[karma-draws-stuff-deactivated20]

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[totallynotmc]

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[nachosforfree]

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[null-ifi3d]

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[stars-sunsets-and-oliver]

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[just-another-starfish]

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[falsopher-deactivated20220410]

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[silent-pirate-hunter]

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[sir-sunny-deactivated20241008]

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[possum-babe]

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[dustywarbler]

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[din-skywalker]

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[be-very-jim]

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[nyanbong]

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[thepanicatthediscoaddict]

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[miserybuziness-moved-deactivate]

127

[suntaur]

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[punkcupidz]

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[virge-of-death]

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[milosuckz]

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[meankeene]

132 :(

[bobs-sambergers-deactivated2019]

133

[employed-sparkledog]

134

[fish0ut0fwater]

135

[ducks-the-word]

I guess I’ll do 136… but did anyone else notice we’re missing 51?

[whovianiviii]

137

[fandomgirl033-blog]

138

[dickplinko]

139

[itsphanicatthedisco]

51 …not missing anymore just a little confused where he should go

[upset-to-dead]

140… this post will continue until the end of tumblr I swear on my own goddamn grave

[love-from-the-other-side]

141

[useless-lump-of-coal]

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[godhatesme-22]

143…holy shit you kiddies are fuckin’ crazy

[djwjfkdr-deactivated20200708]

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[billbenbev-deactivated20200214]

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[geektrashfan]

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[kowabunga-hawkbitch]

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[hellofirewolf-blog]

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[idiotavatarofthewhore]

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[4nythingforourmoony89]

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[femininemilem]

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[powersbl00d]

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[afriendofblahaj]

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[rosey-thorns]

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[dragonspleenistasty]

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[the-lumpfish-queen]

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[dragonboyteeth]

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[bogmonstergirl]

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[harzilla]

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[netherator]

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[ana-the-light-fury]

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[thequietpercussionist]

173

[greelin]

“how’s the veganism work with your whole thing with vampires” i’m not the one eating blood. Hope this helps

[greelin]

i cannot fathom tearing into skin. having MY skin torn into, however,

[greelin]

can a man not live. is he not entitled to such things

[thequietpercussionist]

This cannot be happening I don’t want tumblr live again

[scramratz]

Definite banners and possible bumper stickers for the shop

[whatareyoureallyafraidof]

[chaos-triangle]

My blog's also aggressively trans/queer friendly!