Goldie's Fuckass Blog

oh shit I dropped my memes

[verydonegoldfish]

Oh no. Dear god. They put the blonde man in a situation-

A FLUFFY SITUATION!!!

[verydonegoldfish]

Kids reaction to Bruce bringing Hal home as his BF:

Dick: Wow guys. I'm so happy for you. Wishing the best!

Hal: aw thanks, Kid.

Jason: Makes sense since you're both unhinged, diabolical freaks.

Hal: Guilty.

Tim: I always knew you two had... tension.

Hal: Undeniable.

Steph: Wow. Old man yaoi right before my eyes.

Hal: We're not that old.

Cass: *raises a single brow*

Hal: Understandable.

Damian: Considering one is more than enough; I will refuse to call you "father" or any other variants of the word.

Hal: No, no, please never do.

[verydonegoldfish]

Kirk: Yes let me fight this indestructible robot because it flirted with my cunty vulcan malewife.

[verydonegoldfish]

Damian (showing his family tree project): Yes. This is Alfred the Cat, Batcow, Titus...

Teacher: That's wonderful, Damian... but what about your actual family?

Damian (pointing to all his pets): I would sacrifice my life and fortune for them. I consider them closer to me than any human has ever been. They give me purpose, unconditional kinship, a joy which is untainted and deserving.

Teacher: ...

Damian (sighs and flips the page): This is my mother, father, and my 8 adopted siblings. They are... adequate, I suppose.

[verydonegoldfish]

DamiJon 20 years from now after their wedding reception:

Damian: We must consummate our marriage.

Jon: Consume- what now?!

Damian (eyes narrowing): Intercourse.

Jon: Enter- where now?!

Damian (scowling with loving disapproval): Bang.

Jon (32 and doing excited puppy flips): AW HELL YEAH!! Marriage is dope!!!

[verydonegoldfish]

Fav genre of star trek episode: letting the gays loose outside with a camera

[verydonegoldfish]

Bruce: I told you to dress up. This is a CHARITY GALA, Hal.

Hal (in a clown suit): This is the nicest thing I own, though.

[verydonegoldfish]

What does it say about me (and y'all) that my most viewed/bookmarked fic is batlantern smut?

almost 10k reads... we're all freaks for them

Does it mean I should write more or...?

[verydonegoldfish]

DC: Bruce Wayne is brooding. He's dark, edgy, a hair away from irredeemable

Me: Bruce Wayne wears vintage Juicy Couture velour tracksuits from the early 2000s and won't let his children talk to him until he's had his Dunkin' iced coffee

We are not the same.

[verydonegoldfish]

the MUSCLE. the FEMININITY. the WONDER.

THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU DIANA!!!!!

womenwomenwomenwomenwomenwomen happy pride 🤌 from JL (rebirth) book 24

[verydonegoldfish]

i bet this dumbass asks alfred to prepare his Cup Ramen™ because for some reason it just "tastes better"

(he added green onions)

from JL (rebirth) book 22

[verydonegoldfish]

Mr. Bruce "I'm a fucking loser in my spare time" Wayne forgetting he's supposed to be Batman™ in front of all his cool friends

he's so attractive and i need to punch him from JL (rebirth) book 14

[verydonegoldfish]

did this virgin loser really just "um actually👆🤓" at SUPERMAN

*proceeds to make situation MUCH worse*

from JL (new 52) book 2 btws

[verydonegoldfish]

jason todd is a villain in the same way that corn is technically a fruit

[verydonegoldfish]

istg if someone don't shut these corny ahh grandpas up !!!

to the nursing home u go with jokes like this ALAN

from JSA 2010 book 44 btw. if u wanna read more of these losers

[verydonegoldfish]

no because you dont know star-man like i do. YOU DONT LOVE HIM LIKE I DO!!!!!!!!!!

we're literally taking our psych meds and eating sloppy joes together rn and like you didnt even bother to show up smfh

from jsa 2007 book 10

the three stars as his face is so cute im sobbing and vomiting

[verydonegoldfish]

Oh my god this man is sooooo emo edgelord 3000

im so sick of him & i love him so much

from batman n the outsiders 2019 book 10 btw

p.s. do u think he pre-plans his "poetic" sentences in the mirror like a true autistic