i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass
World Heritage Post
Xuebing Du
AnasAbdin
Monterey Bay Aquarium
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

titsay
No title available

oozey mess

tannertan36
macklin celebrini has autism
Peter Solarz
Cosimo Galluzzi
dirt enthusiast

Love Begins
Stranger Things

Discoholic 🪩
$LAYYYTER
Mike Driver
Keni
KIROKAZE
todays bird

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@vvvords
i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass
World Heritage Post
I don't read as much fic as I used to but one "tell" for non Canadians writing us, besides the etransfer, is the units you use to describe us measuring something. I hate to tell you this but The Chart is real and it's completely subconscious. Please abide
ETA the chart (or at least a version of it):
ETA2: we do use inches/miles in poetic ways ("he was lost in thought/miles away" or "his lips were a bare inch away").
Also, the length of a dick is in inches for SURE.
Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later
it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,
soy yooo tu ángel de la guarda holiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. 🥺 y si no te protejo, me van a: #¡despedir! 🫢 y eso No esta Chido 🙅♀️jajaaa Entonces. 🙏investigue acerca del tema y resulta que: ¡puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! 😯 ¡Uh oh! 😆 Hay más que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demás, ¡pero no puedes teneral! 🤨 ¿Queeeé? 🤷♀️ Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas "accionistas." Y bueno. 🙏 empeze a matar personas,
c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou 😇 bon 🙏 alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. 🥺 et si je te protège pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! 🫢 et ça c'est pas Pas Super 🙅♀️ hahaaa Donc. 🙏 j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% évitable ! 😯 Oh-oh ! 😆 Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interférer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accès ! 🤨 Quoooi ? 🤷♀️ Apparemment ta mort a été préméditée par des milliers de trucs appelées des "actionnaires". Du coup.🙏 j'ai tué pas mal de monde,
hiiiiii 😇 我是亲的守护小天使!okay🙏 嗯。您在差不多半年会饿死哈🥺 若我不能救您我会被#炒鱿鱼!🫢 那可不行哦🙅♀️ 哈哈。所以昵🙏我查了一下人类饿死的原因,然后发现:诶呀呀😯亲的死是可以避免哒!😆 这世上有足够食物给亲吃,一点儿也不需要影响别人的生存率哒!但不给亲!🤨 怎么会这样昵? 🤷♀️ 原来,亲的死是被一帮叫“股东”的东西计算好滴! 所以昵🙏 我杀了一些人,
y'all are doing some rosetta stone shit to me
Ich bin's, dein Schutzengel hiiii 😇 okay 🙏 also, in ungefähr 6 Monaten verhungerst du🥺 und wenn ich dich nicht beschütze, werde ich wohl #gefeuert 🫢 und das wäre nicht gut 🙅🏼♀️ hahaaa also. 🙏 Ich habe mich mit den Ursachen vom Verhungern auseinander gesetzt, und stellt sich raus: Dein Tod ist absolut abwendbar 😯 ohoh 😆 Es gibt mehr als genug Nahrung, um dich durchzufüttern, ohne dass das das Überleben andere beeinträchtigt, aber die kannst du leider nicht bekommen 🤨 hääää? 🤷🏼♀️So wie's scheint wurde dein Tod schon von tausenden Dingen namens "Anteilseigner" beschlossen. Also. 🙏 Ich hab angefangen Menschen zu töten,
դա ես եմ, ես քո պահապան հրեշտակն եմ, ողջույն, 😇 լավ 🙏, այնպես որ: Մոտ վեց ամսից սովից կմեռնես։ 🥺 եւ եթե ես քեզ չպաշտպանեմ, կստանամ. 🫢 եւ դա լավ չէ։ 🙅♀️ Ես 🙏 ուսումնասիրեցի սովի պատճառները, եւ պարզվում է. 😯 Հա՜հ։ 😆 Կա ավելի քան բավարար սնունդ ձեզ պահելու համար՝ առանց որեւէ մեկի գոյատեւմանը խանգարելու, բայց ձեզ թույլ չի տրվում ունենալ այն: 🤨 Ինչպե՞ս։ 🤷♀️ Ըստ երեւույթին, ձեր մահը կանխամտածված է հազարավոր բաների կողմից, որոնք կոչվում են «բաժնետերեր»: Այսպիսով: 🙏 Ես սպանում եմ մարդկանց,
jIH'e' 'angbogh Da QanwI'lI' jIH luq 😇🙏. qaSpu'DI' jav jar, ghungmo' bIHegh. 🥺 'ej qaQanbe'chugh, vaj vISuq: #fired! 🫢 vaj QaQbe 🙅 ♀️' ghu'vam. 🙏 ghungmo' meqmey vInuD, 'ej SIbI' HeghlIj toDlu'chu'! 😯 HIja'! 😆 DutaHmoHmeH yapbej Soj 'ej latlh taHtaHghach nISbe'lu', 'ach Daghaj net chaw'be'! 🤨 nuqjatlh? 🤷 ♀️ HeghlIj 'e' HeSlaw' SaD lang
niiii naiz zure aingeru guardako iiiiepa 😇 ongi🙏 ea. sei hilabete barru edo, goseak hilko zara. 🥺 eta ez bazaitut babesten, #kaleratu egingo naute! 🫢 ta hori Ez Dago Ongi 🙅♀️ karkaaar Beraz. 🙏 Goseak hiltzearen arrazoiak ikertu ditut, eta antza denez: Zure heriotza guztiz saihesgarria da! 😯 Hara! 😆 Beste inoren biziraupena oztopatu gabe bizi ahal izateko nahikoa janari dago, baina ez duzu hartzeko baimenik! 🤨 Zeeer? 🤷♀️ Antza denez, zure heriotza "akziodun" deitzen diren milaka izakik planifikatu dute. Beraz. 🙏 Jendea hiltzen ibili naiz,
dekho main aapke guardian angel hoon namasteeee 😇 theek 🙏 tohh. kuch chhe mahene mein, aap bhook se mar jao ge 🥺 aur if main aapke rakshe nahi karta, main ho jaungi: fired!! 🫢 aur woh bahut Achha Nahi Hai 🙅♀️ hahaaa Toh. 🙏 Maine bhook se marne ki vajat shogh kari, aur yeh sun: Aapke marna pure navarey hai 😯 Arey ma! 😆 Aap ke liye kaafi se aur bhi khana hai kisi aur se lene ki bina, par aap le nahi sakte! 🤨 Ye kya baat hai? 🤷♀️ Sun ye, aapka marna hazaaron se cheezein se pehle se vichaarit hai, ye cheez hain "shareholders." Toh. 🙏 Mai logon ko thora hatya kari vi hoon,
あたしだよぉ〜♡ アンタの守護天使でぇ〜す☆ ハーイ😇 ってゆーかぁ🙏 アンタさぁ、あと半年くらいで餓死しちゃうんだケド〜🥺 でぇ、あたしがアンタのコト守んないと、あたしマジで【#クビ】決定じゃん!?🫢 そんなんアリエナクナイ?🙅♀️ ウケるんですケド〜 あははっ んでぇ🙏 餓死の原因チョー調べてみたらさぁ? アンタの死、フツーに防げんじゃん!?😯 ヤバッ!😆 ってか、アンタが生きてくのに十分すぎるくらい食べ物あんのに、他の人の邪魔もしないのに、アンタにはダメなんだってぇ!?🤨 意味わかんないんですケドぉ〜?🤷♀️ なんかぁ、アンタの死ってぇ、「株主」とかゆー何千もの連中にあらかじめ決められてるらしーよ?ってコトで🙏 あたしさぁ、ずっと人殺しまくってるワケ、
eeeech bes din schotzängel hoooooi 😇 okei 🙏 also. i öppe sächs mönet wersch du verhongere. 🥺 ond weni dech ned beschötze den werdi: #entloo! 🫢 ond das Wemmer Ned 🙅♀️ hahaaa Also. 🙏 ech ha rescherschiert werom das mer cha verhongere ond es het sech usegschtellt: din tood esch extreem verhenderbaar! 😯 o-oou! 😆 s'hed mee als gnueg zässe zom dech am läbe phalte oni das öpper andersch zwenig het, aber dier erlaubets need das z'haa! 🤨 Waaaas? 🤷♀️ aanschiined esch din tood foorsätzlech veruursacht fo tuusige fo dengs wo "akzionäär" häisset. Also. 🙏 ech ben am lüüt morde gsii,
i miss vhs tapes and cds i miss feeding my computers and tvs yummy treats. now theyre eating nothing. theyre being born without mouths
I don't want to be overly dramatic and overly negative about the AI translations I've been working with. They are bad, yes, but I don't want to overstate their badness because that would obscure the specific points I'm making. Some AI translations, the best AI translations, are not that bad. Some of them are still bad to the point of being unusable, but others are better. They're not good, but they're mostly serviceable, and it's extremely impressive that a machine can come up with something serviceable, something comparable to the work of a very mediocre human translator.
A client who hires a subpar translator who accepts being underpaid, in order to avoid paying professional rates for a professional, is getting subpar work. A client who uses AI to get work cheap and fast is getting worse than subpar work. But AI is getting better, it might soon be at the point where laymen can't tell the difference, and then, using AI instead of paying a human will mostly be a labour rights issue, and that's a far thornier question. (Note that I'm not talking about using AI translators to read something for yourself, or to communicate in your daily life: I'm talking about AI translation for publication, using AI for something you expect other people to pay money for.)
My actual point about AI translation is that even when it's fairly good, when it makes few errors and conveys the message intelligibly, it lacks something. I'm not talking about heart and soul here, nothing to do with some intangible human quality: I'm talking about specificity. AI works with great averages, and so it automatically irons out nuance. If you write something unusual, AI will assume it's an error, instead of an intentionally unusual statement. This is regression to the mean, and based on the texts I'm working with, it's an Anglophone, American mean. If you say something that's true of 1980s Hungary, it might slightly alter the sentence to "make sense" for 1980s US. Some alterations are factual, these are more serious errors but also easier to edit out. But other things are harder to catch, slight shifts in tone and valence, an erasure of the original, specific, non-American perspective, and the end result is a text that doesn't have anything wrong with it, but is markedly simpler and dumber than it should be. And flattening complex, knotty, peripheral perspectives into something closer to a monoculture is, in the long term, intellectually devastating.
I cannot get this poem out of my head. It haunts me. Joyously, it haunts me.
I'm noticing some interesting choices with regards to pronouns in Laura Pohl's translation of All Systems Red. See, in Portuguese we don't have object pronouns like "it/its" and neutral neopronouns like "elu/delu" are considered more analogous to the English "they/them", so gendering Murderbot the way that it is gendered in the original was always going to be tricky. There's also the other difficulty that adjectives are gendered in Portuguese, so whenever Murderbot describes itself or it's emotional state or anything, necessarily it was going to gender itself grammatically in some way. What this translation does at first is that the Murderbot's internal dialogue it genders itself in the masculine which I assumed to be just sort of defaulting Murderbot to be a masculine character, but in reflection of a different detail, I think it's just defaulting to this formal almost archaic notion of the masculine as neutral. Now, the detail that made me rethink this is this line that I just came upon of Dr Mensah's:
"UniSeg, preciso que você fique parada aí até eu chegar."
[SecUnit, I need you to stay still (female form) until I arrive]
The reason that Mensah is referring to Murderbot in the feminine in this case is that it's referring to it as a security unit, right, and the word Unidade, Unit, in Portuguese, is a feminine word. So I just went back now and I found one other previous instance in which characters refer to Murderbot in the third person and, Ratthi, he calls Murderbot by masculine pronouns but that's when it's being referred to as a robô, robot, which in Portuguese is a masculine word. So I guess the way that Pohl found to express Murderbot's object pronouns is by just using whatever pronouns are in agreement with the word being used to describe it. Which to be fair makes a lot of sense for treating objects in Portuguese. If you call something a cadeira, chair, you're going to refer to it with feminine pronouns, but if you call the exact same object a sofá, sofa, you will be using the masculine pronouns.
okay I just realized the reason Murderbot refers to itself with masculine pronouns in its internal dialogue all the time is because it's referring to itself as a robô assasino, murderer robot, which is masculine okay this is kind of genius actually
okay okay this is so cool actually literally the next page and Murderbot is talking about other SecUnits right and it says this
"Elas não eram os robôs-assassinos mais astutos, (...)"
[They (feminine plural) weren't the (masculine plural) most astute murder robots, (...)]
...feminine pronouns for Unidades de Segurança, SecUnits, and masculine pronouns for robôs-assassinos, murder robots...
so yeah it's it's literally exactly as I understood it we are simply using our own grammatical gender rules for objects... it's so cool
hey, translator here! (: this was absolutely done on purpose. gendering Murderbot would always be a problem, so I, the copyeditors and the brazilian editors worked together to make sure that bots/constructs could be referred with both masculine/feminine pronouns, sometimes even in the same paragraph. same goes for ART in the second novella, who's also an It in english, but varies between nave (ship, femine) and transporte (transporte, masculine). it's an important detail and i'm happy it was noticed!
I read this post first like a month or two ago and it absolutely rewired how I thought about gender pronouns in French so thank you for that brazilian translator/editors.
That's not what the French translation of Murderbot does though, it uses "iel" which, while the most common gender-neutral neopronoun used by nonbinary French speakers I know, is also exclusively used by people. Like, a chair, table, etc can't be "iel", it has to be "il/elle". So "iel" preserves the gender-neutrality, but it's much less dehumanizing than "it" in English, something that I think the Portuguese solution does a particularly good job at.
The Japanese one is still really good and more people need to appreciate it:
In the Japanese translation of the books, Murderbot uses the genderless neopronoun 弊機 (heiki), which means through its characters "both “bad/evil robot” and “this second-rate, humble company machine"." It's also a homophone for 兵器 (heiki), meaning "weapon." The Japanese translator is Naoya Nakahara, and her translation of the first four Murderbot novellas won a translation award in Japan in 2021.
(From this long Reddit thread comparing Murderbot translations.)
A proposal
Sometimes, in fandom, we just want to write id-tastic fic that rolls around in tropes that might be viewed as problematic. But we don’t want to address the problematic side of things in this particular fanwork; we just want to roll around and wallow.
It is considered courteous to give readers a heads-up via use of AO3 tags. I propose a tag that signals that a given fanwork is for rolling around, not giving a measured evaluation of anything. The MCU has carved out a space for this sort of fic with the “HYDRA Trash Party” tag, for which I commend them. Trash Party is a bit too specific to cover all of the ground I’m thinking of here, though; I propose “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.”
For those of you not familiar with Arrested Development, Michael Bluth finds a paper bag in the freezer labeled “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.” He opens the bag, finds a dead dove, and reacts as follows:
[gif of a white man saying “I don’t know what I expected” in a deadpan manner]
The “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” tag would essentially be a “what it says on the tin” metatag, indicating “you see the tropes and concepts tagged here? they are going to appear in this fic. exactly as said. there will not necessarily be any subversion, authorial commentary condemning problematic aspects, or meditation on potential harm. this fic contains dead dove. if you proceed, you should expect to encounter it.”
(more at KnowYourMeme: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-dont-know-what-i-expected)
WHOA WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THE POST THAT SPAWNED DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT
Happy dead dove do not eat birthday!
the parallel w/ germanic bear is interesting but it must be said that "brown one" is vastly inferior to "cutie pie"
my nickname "guy who doesn't attack people" is raising a lot of questions that are already answered by the nickname
Me: If you can portmanteau it, you must portmanteau it.
My brother: It's portmandateaury.
As someone who has overcome substance abuse, I find this decade’s framing of addiction incredibly insulting.
Somewhere along the line, we decided that any repeated behavior, any source of pleasure, any coping mechanism, any habit that isn’t monk-like and productivity-optimized must be labeled an addiction. You like scrolling art before you create? Addiction. You watch comfort shows after work? Addiction. You check your phone in line at the grocery store? Addiction. You drink coffee with breakfast? Addiction. The word has been stretched so thin it barely means anything anymore, except “a behavior I personally disapprove of.”
Addiction is not “I enjoy stimulation.” It is not “I have habits.” It is not “I seek input before I produce output.” Addiction is a specific, devastating pattern of compulsion, harm, loss of control, and often self-destruction. It dismantles relationships. It corrodes trust. It hijacks the reward system so thoroughly that survival itself becomes secondary. It is not equivalent to liking Pinterest boards or needing music to focus.
When everything becomes addiction, nothing is. The language gets diluted, and with it, the gravity of what actual addiction is. People who have clawed their way out of substance abuse know the difference between compulsion and preference, between destructive dependence and deliberate engagement. Collapsing those distinctions into a trendy moral panic about “dopamine” is not enlightened. It’s sloppy. Unserious, even.
There’s also something deeply puritanical about it. The 2020s seem obsessed with pathologizing pleasure. If something feels good, it must be suspect. If it captures your attention, it must be hijacking your brain. If it isn’t explicitly productive, it must be rot. We’ve replaced older moral frameworks with neuroscience-flavored shame, but the tone is the same: you are wrong for enjoying things.
What bothers me most is how casually the word is thrown around in creative spaces. If you gather inspiration through music, images, movement, conversation, suddenly you’re “stimulus addicted.” If you can’t brute-force a novel in a silent white room with no input, you lack discipline. Never mind that many artists throughout history have relied on immersion, community, environment, and cross-media inspiration. Now it’s framed as weakness, as though the only legitimate art is produced under self-imposed sensory austerity.
This framing flattens nuance. There is a difference between avoidance and incubation. There is a difference between doomscrolling to numb out and deliberately engaging with material that fuels your imagination. There is a difference between compulsively chasing a hit and consciously choosing input that enriches your work. But nuance doesn’t trend. Alarmism does.
There’s also a strange individualizing move happening here. Instead of asking why people are exhausted, overstimulated, underpaid, isolated, or burnt out, we zoom in on their coping mechanisms and label them addictions. Instead of examining structural monotony, economic precarity, and social fragmentation, we scold individuals for having “bad dopamine habits.” It’s easier to diagnose people’s scrolling than to confront the conditions that make endless scrolling appealing.
Calling everything an addiction also erases agency. It suggests that people are perpetually hijacked by their brains, incapable of intentional choice unless they purge all sources of easy stimulation. That’s not empowering. It’s infantilizing. Adults are capable of enjoying things without being enslaved by them. Adults can have rituals, comforts, and creative processes without it being pathology.
When I hear the word “addiction” tossed around to describe normal human behavior, it doesn’t sound like insight. It sounds like moral grandstanding dressed up in pop psychology. And for those of us who have actually lived through the wreckage of substance abuse and fought to reclaim control, it feels like watching something serious get turned into a meme.
We deserve better language. We deserve distinctions. We deserve a culture that can tell the difference between compulsion and preference, between harm and habit, between numbing out and nourishing ourselves. Not everything that holds our attention is a disorder. Not everything pleasurable is a vice. And not everything repetitive is an addiction.
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdQuxw52/
I think I found my new favorite rabbit hole. This voice actor does Shakespeare scenes in a southern accent and I need to see the whole damn play. Absolutely beautiful
if you're not from the us american south, there's some amazing nuances to this you may have missed. i can't really describe all of them, because i've lived here my whole life and a lot of the body language is sort of a native tongue thing. the body language is its own language, and i am not so great at teaching language. i do know i instinctively sucked on my lower teeth at the same time as he did, and when he scratched the side of his face, i was ready to take up fucking arms with him.
but y'all. the way he said "brutus is an honourable man" - each and every time it changed just a little. it was the full condemnation Shakespeare wanted it to be. it started off slightly mock sincere. barely trying to cover the sarcasm. by the end...it wasn't a threat, it was a promise.
christ, he's good.
the eliding of “you all” to “y’all” while still maintaining 2 syllables is a deliberate and brilliant act of violence. “bear with me” said exactly like i’ve heard it at every funeral. the choices of breaking and re-establishing of eye contact. the balance of rehearsed and improvised tone. A+++ get this man a hollywood contract.
amir khusrow (1253–1325 CE)
This is back on my dash! And listen, I love to see Amir Khusrau getting appreciation, but this translation ignores a lot. The original rhymes! And scans! And does playful things with register! And conveys a tone of affectionate banter between the two speakers, not least because it has them both addressing each other as sakhi (translated above as “girl”) in the last two lines. I think taking some liberties with line order is worth it to preserve more of the rest—and I think there’s a better translation of sakhi. And so:
He only visits once a year, I splurge big on him when he’s here, His kisses make my tastebuds tango. Who, bitch, your man? Nah, bitch, a mango.
a quirk of sexting while british is switching from arse to ass. i would never fuck someone in the arse. its impolite.
[Image ID: Tumblr reply from sludgeBitch reading: to be fucked in the ass: to receive a penis or other objects within the butthole to be fucked in the arse: £6 a pint /End ID]
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: that hotline is forvo.com. It’s a pronunciation dictionary that allows you type in a word and see how it’s pronounced. They have multiple languages as well. Don’t see a word on there that you know how to pronounce? You can totally add it. Visit forvo. Help yourself.
that is much better than a hotline because you don’t have to actually talk to someone