ℌ𝔬𝔭𝔢𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔰 ℜ𝔬𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔠

•°☆ 𝚒 𝚊𝚖 𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚕𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 ☆°• •°♡ minors DNI please ♡°• ♡ 🩷🤍💜🖤💙 ♡ 🩷🤍💚 ♡

[makerofmoodboards]

A genderfluid moodboard!

[prokopetz]

Mario creepypasta fundamentally doesn't work because you know what Mario would actually do if we saw some dimension-warping hundred-handed cosmic horror? He wouldn't lose his mind; he'd take one look at that Shin Megami Tensei looking fucker, pull out his dorky little mushroom-shaped cell phone, hit the fourth number down on his contact list, and go "hey, Kirby, I think-a one-a your boys got lost".

[prokopetz]

"Or he'd just fight it himself" no, he would not, for two reasons:

This represents a fundamental misunderstanding of Mario's central plot structure. Mario always gets his ass beat in his initial encounter with an outside context problem, then spends the bulk of the game going around gathering allies and kicking the legs out from under the outside context problem's support structure.

This sort of thing clearly falls into another protagonist's idiom, and Mario is a union man – he's not going to scab on Kirby. Perish the thought!

[blackcattails]

"I wouldn't take-a the food from another video game mascot's plate!"

"I don't think Kirby gets paid for this."

"That's-a not what I said."

*off-screen vacuum sounds*

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[ralfmaximus]

"While I was trying to photograph the Northern Lights in the wee hours of the morning, my cat decided to photobomb the picture. Since I had the camera’s shutter speed maxed out, it ended up leaving a sort of ghostly image of my cat in the photo."

Photographer: Kristie Kohn

[naamahdarling]

Oh WOW what a lovely portrait!

[misscromwellsmonocle]

The Little Art Connoisseur (1863) August Friedrich Siegert

[darnitjack]

Last time this came around I showed my three year old and he said "He's little like me!" and stared for a whole minute (v. Long in toddler time).

[charlesoberonn]

I appreciate Siegert including a self portrait in a mirror.

[walliard]

Posts I can't believe didn't originate on tumblr.

[sceptixfakemon]

taste my steel you stupid citrus

[ask-the-greed-ler-anything-blog]

Hello my dear Customers~

Today should be the day you ALL buy a Thneed!!

[asfgjfkgjnfkjgnkfjg]

I’m straight but this gif makes my prostate clench it kinda hurts 

[april132009]

[chzdavmpr]

This feels like finding a vintage grenade in a box and pulling the pin

[blizzardofjj]

[fictionadventurer]

Magic system where magic is treated like work in 19th-century England. Magic is something that everyone is naturally able to do, and you can learn different skills and do certain tasks with it, but it's tiring and wears out the body.

Lower class people use magic all the time--it's necessary for survival--and they're hired to do magic for the upper classes, whether they're working the fields, hiring out their magic for factory work, or, working as a maid in an upper class home. Gentlemen are allowed to use magic in a few specific "refined" occupations.

Upper-class ladies are allowed to do almost no magic, except for tiny decorative uses--magic is "low", and using it too much destroys your status in society. Upper-class ladies also regularly go insane from "magic hysteria". Some women are starting to notice this and are arguing for women to be allowed to do healthy amounts of magic. Other people find this idea coarse and unfeminine.

The world and story would be shaped by what the magic actually does (so there's a reason to write this as fantasy rather than pure historical fiction). I'm sure there have to be plenty of stories like this already, but it's still an interesting framework.

[succubusboyfriend]

so i’ve eliminated my phone from the “staying up all night” equation by getting an alarm clock and charging said phone in another room, but this resulted in a second, secret problem of staying up too late drawing because i still had my tablet. i don’t wanna move my tablet to another room as well because i like having a little bit of drawing time before bed so for about a week i was like….. oh i’ll just force myself off at the correct time eventually. one of these days that will happen.

but last night realized i'm never gonna just gain the willpower to curb my bad habits at random, that’s the entire reason i took the phone out of the room, so i just. set my tablet to turn completely greyscale from 12:30am to 8am to prevent me from staying up all night drawing. and guess who actually fucking went to bed the second his tablet turned grey.

[succubusboyfriend]

moral of the story and a lesson i think everyone can take from this is don’t expect yourself to just get over your bad habits through sheer force of will. it won’t fucking happen. instead make them as annoying as possible to continue. make them completely unsatisfying. sabotage your bad habits.

[myfairynuffstuff]

Erika Toliusis (b.1969) - Pacific Angel. 2022. Oil with palette knife on canvas.

[sunshinetheinspiration]

@teaboot

[teaboot]

Painted with a FUCKING PALETTE KNIFE?

[creepycrag]

i think we need copyright reform. currently most works are protected by copyright for the life of the author plus 70 years. here are my two proposals.

18 years. this is enough time for the work to grow to adulthood and begin to care for itself

life of the author + zero years. i like this one because it encourages you to kill people

[anglaised]

i love seeing videos of ppl calling for mamdani like hes batman like “mr mamadani we need ac in the subway mr mamdani help us” and its extra funny bc so far hes been filling every request so its actually working …he got his own bat signal 😭

[neonfretra]

[ploobytumbls]

I would like to share the story of a very understandable but unfortunate mistake i made at work recently

So I'm weeding our ancient and terrible collection of children's books for the first time in possibly ever, and I'm making a decision about a book about migrant workers by Sandra Weiner, called Small Hands, Big Hands. And I'm not 100% sure and I go to just see if there's anything out there about this book's being notable in any way so I do an open web search for

"small hands big hands weiner"

And then I look at my results for a moment

and then at last I somberly add to the end of my search, "BOOK"

[chaostheorietblr]

I have one like that:

In mathematics, you often consider the two-dimensional plane - you know, the idealised flat two-dimensional object that extends infinitely - which can be real or complex (doesn't matter what that means)

On this, you can perform a mathematical operation called a "blow-up" (resulting in a more complicated geometry)

I needed to look up a formula related to this, so I confidently typed into the search bar:

"Blow up real plane"

The results were not what I wanted and I am not sure if I'm on a terror watchlist now.

[three--rings]

This reminds me of my corsetmaker days when i found myself searching for "extra thick boning."

[mens-rights-activia]

The duality of man is thinking “children cannot help themselves and we all need to be patient with them as they explore what it means to be human in public” and also “damn, I wish this crying baby was not on the plane rn :/“

[ffcrazy15]

Just as courage is not the absence of fear but doing the brave thing in spite of it, patience is not the absence of irritation but doing the kind thing in spite of it.

[mf-dooom]

[yetanothergreyjedi]

that is the face of a man worried he will be next

[ashtraythief]

Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.

[luulapants]

Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.

[whetstonefires]

crane husband.....

[roach-works]

this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.

[alex51324]

(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:

Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s.  The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.  

As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.  

It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.  

Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.  

The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.

They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.   

Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.  

Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.  

Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.  (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)  

It worked!  

Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.  

However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.  (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)

Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird.  White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive.  (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)  

[thesylverlining]

Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this

she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)

His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)

the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)

"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")

chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"

[anais-ninja-bitch]

just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.

well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.

[largishcat]

[eshlimoriarty]

[lazorsandparadox]

Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes

[queersatanic]

the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was

[worldheritageposts-official]

World Heritage Post

[kedreeva]

I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.

[optimysticals]

Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe