mumblin'

call me kate // 32 // NY So here's a thing. It's a thing full of mumbles grumbles and exclamations and general hullabaloo about nonsense. If you are allergic to bad puns, corny humor, or sarcasm, you...probably don't want to be here.

[busket]

"im tired of living through major historical events" is now "dear lord please let me witness a high profile political assassination in the next 1-2 years. amen"

[saywhat-politics]

World's 3 Richest Men Will Sit Together at Inauguration

Insider says Musk, Bezos, Zuckerberg will be on platform with Trump's Cabinet nominees

The people in the top three spots on Forbes' billionaire list—Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Mark Zuckerberg—will have prime seats at President-elect Trump's inauguration next week. NBC News, citing "an official involved with the planning of the event," reports that the three tech billionaires will be sitting together on the platform with other high-profile guests, including Trump's Cabinet nominees. Bezos and Zuckerberg's companies, Amazon and Meta, have each donated $1 million to the inauguration, while Musk spent more than $250 million to help Trump win the election, reports Reuters.

[catboybreeder]

Oligarchy, only now out in the open lol

[finnglas]

A falling meteor has the chance to do the funniest thing ever.

[jv]

Like for meteor, reblog for spontaneous sink hole

[lynati]

Focus your mental lasers for spontaneous combustion.

[anexperimentallife]

[cornyonmains]

Something I find very interesting about this CEO assassination is that the guy who did it has basically become an American hero.

They're probably quite worried about what will happen when they catch this guy, especially with the level of public support he has. If they catch him alive and he gets to air his grievances, he could unite the entire country against the private healthcare system. It could go to trial and result in jury nullification, which would basically send a message to the American public that catching a rich body comes without consquences.

If they kill him to keep his mouth shut, I'd say people will burn cities to the ground, and it could potentially provoke even more anger against private health insurance. In a powder keg, it only takes one person lighting the match.

I know it sounds over the top, but a figurehead is a powerful thing, and that's what this shooter is. The rich understand it. That's why Blue Cross just magically decided they were going to pay for anesthesia again. Those dead-eyed psychopaths were going to take everything they could until someone shot that guy and that's the gospel truth.

Keep the hate fire burning. Watching their fear is the closest I've come to knowing joy since the Bush administration.

[soberscientistlife]

[littledoggy-girlcollar]

some of you have GOT to get comfortable with lying and situational morality and i'm not kidding

[rosavaya]

“Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘What do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.”

— Vincent Van Gogh

[anarchistmemedistro]

[mentalhealthmemesofficial]

[notthegrouch]

“If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning.” 

- Vincent van Gogh

[lovely-v]

It’s crazy and fucked up that being yourself is actually the solution.

[lovely-v]

It’s like. When I was told to “just be yourself” as a kid I thought it was a passive thing. Like oh easy I just have to sit here and be myself. but the reason so many people think that “being yourself” is bullshit advice is because you actually have to make active choices to do this and it WILL make your life way more fun. You have to wear t-shirts of bands that were popular ten years ago because you like them. You have to do your hair in a way that you find cute or comfortable even if it’s “so nineties”. If your friend says a food you enjoy is gross to them, you can’t be afraid to admit you casually disagree. You have to do hobbies that you’re interested in even if you’re bad at them and you cant feel like you have to get good at something before you tell people it’s an activity you do. You have to read manga and comic books in public and get piercings your relatives think are unattractive. You don’t have to tell people you dislike that you dislike them, but you don’t have to give them your time and attention either. You have to rewatch that kids show you’re nostalgic for even if you’re in your 30s. You have to change your name if you hate it, even if only a few close friends can know. You have to get fun girly drinks at the bar. You have to order hot chocolate when you don’t like coffee and black coffee when you don’t like sweet things. I am still bad at practicing this but it is the only way to make it all tolerable.

[mumblesplash]

scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

[kata4a]

[comedictrans]

when travis mcelroy said “what if you could just cut out the bullshit and do good recklessly?” and when marc evan jackson said “now go do something good” and when chidi anagonye said “i argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people” and when brennan lee mulligan said “you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. if you choose to care, then the universe cares. and if you don’t, then it doesn’t”

[comedictrans]

a very good addition tbh

[cy-lindric]

Started a new vest project this week ! Test swatch + bottom section ⛪🌿

[cy-lindric]

Happy to report that the vest is vesting chaps

[cy-lindric]

Helloooo

[jame7t]

joe biden, you stupid fuck. listen to me. Crimes are legal for sitting presidents as long as they’re official actions. Listen: Joe. You have one chance

[alex51324]

Even if he decides not to do, y'know, the obvious, there's gotta be some creative ways he can fuck shit up for Trump. Nothing he does in terms of actual policy will stick, but make Trump spend his first hundred days undoing Biden's last 75.

Especially make him undo stuff that will be incredibly popular. Executive order legalizing marijuana nationwide. Declare a free pizza party for the whole country, scheduled for the first week of February.

Declassify Trump's IRS records, his FBI file, and everything available about his personal habits during his previous stay in the White House. Did he ever order any pay-per-view porn? Clog a toilet? The American people deserve to know.

I'm just spit balling here; I'm sure there are even better ideas.

[not-this-crude-matter]

Humbly submitting that it would also be very funny if he resigned and then Kamala did all those things

[porcupine-girl]

Honestly resigning so that the country gets a black Asian woman President whether the assholes like it or not would be the funniest thing he could do all on its own.

[aspiring-weird-old-man]

[language-gremlin]

so weird how in english some words are really just used in expressions and not otherwise… like has anyone said “havoc” when not using it in the phrase “wreaking havoc”? same goes for “wreaking” actually…

reply with more, i’m fascinated

[espanhois]

these are called fossil words! here's a whole list

[amateurlanguager]

[theunvanquishedzims]

Also interested in words that originally had opposites but don’t anymore; i.e. how we say ruthless but not ruth.

[willowcrowned]

tbh I’ve always found it very funny that Elrond is like “there’s no point bringing Glorfindel on the quest, even though he’s a balrog-slayer. You won’t need balrog-slayers” and then thirty pages later they run into a balrog

[willowcrowned]

#and they could’ve really benefited from having a glow in the dark elf in moria (via @emyn-arnens)

obsessed by the implication that glorfindel is bioluminescent

[willowcrowned]

#most elves aren’t #just glorfindel #dwarves on the other hand ARE bioluminescent #but it’s in a spectrum that elves and men and orcs can’t see in #hobbits can see in that spectrum fine #for better mushroom hunting #but they think it’s rude to point out that one of their party members is glowing #and so the dwarves have no idea the hobbits notice (via @mandaloriandy)

The first night Bilbo camped with the company he very nearly said something about it, but, having no idea what dwarves are and thinking it might be rude, he kept the observation to himself and decided that dwarves must be some kind of fungus. It improved his estimation of them most incredibly, and was, in fact, one of the observations he was most keen to pass on when he got back, seeing as how—even if it didn’t quite make him respectable, per se—it at least provided a valuable new addition to hobbits’ mushroom-lore, which no one (not even a certain few silver-spoon possessing relatives) could fault him for.

[mandaloriandy]

#anyways it’s common knowledge in the shire that dwarves are actually just a kind of mushroom#but no one says anything#because they think (seeing as how the dwarves haven’t brought it up themselves) it would be rude (via @willowcrowned)

[mikkeneko]

My partner, reading this over my shoulder: “It never ceases to amaze me when Tolkein fans write meta that goes off in really bizarre directions”

Me: “These books are 70 years old, everything normal to say about them has been said; if you’re gonna say anything new about it, it’s gonna have to be weird”

[hallowedlore]

this is targeted tumblr content

[jess-the-reckless]

This is what language is for. Evolution. Ridiculous, wonderful evolution.

[blackwolfmajik]

This is so good, I'm awake at 3am and glad of it - for this has arrived on my dash like a boss

[anais-ninja-bitch]

the "tried to make him the main character" part killed me bc, indeed, caesar is not the main character of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar

[batsandboba]

TikTok - Make Your Day

(SOUND IS CRUCIAL) this video is has murdered me dead the music the editing the way information is slowly revealed about the two of them the plot twist the breaking bad images. WILLIAM WILLIAM WILLIAM. all over minecraft parkour someone help im seizing

[vaya-mernda]

Sound is crucial because the content of the text messages is sung by a choir of deep baritone(?) voices.

[jaubaius]

[nabi3000]

[narcissistcookbook]

the second eel at the end in its little cuck shelter 💜

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

eel deets from @whitefangthefightingwolf

[reikomakoto]

[katiecomma]

I JUST learned that this shirt cost them $10,000 to put into this movie… but they refused to compromise because they were like: he’s the hugest Golden Girls fan… this has to make the movie… so they paid $10,000 to use Bea Arthur’s likeness on this shirt…  Ryan Reynolds, you’re doing Deadpool so right.

[whole-grain-wheat-thicks]

They traded all the guns in the final climactic showdown for Bea Arthur’s face. Worth it.

[frontier001]

Reynolds paid it himself, out of pocket. It didn’t come from the budget. He talked with Bea’s sons and they agreed to it for a donation to Bea’s favorite charity. ☺️

[katiecomma]

I did not know that. That’s so much better than I could have imagined.

[wadey-wilson]

It’s important to note that the aforementioned charity is a charity that offers housing to homeless LGBTQ youth