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@deludedplatypus
Hey chat guess what today is
@paranormal-taters tonight we party
I found a guide for a no tape, easy to unwrap wrapping tutorial to make Christmas a little more accessible, wish I just found it sooner
Could i not have seen that before Christmas? Anyway, queueing this for next december to save a life.
This is how they wrap surgical sets before sterilizing them (in a cloth not paper...god I wosh the cloth is a pain in the ass) except when they tuck the last bit in, they fold it over so the end is poking out of the box (like a pull tab).
September is cool and all, but who’s ready for OCTOBER THIRST?
Almost missed reposting this piece of history…
Happy October 3st, friends.
one of the funnier parts of having online friends is when they casually reference something that seems weird as hell from your perspective and you have to go "okay so is this like a reigional/cultural difference or is your specific life experience just insane"
look. look at this beautiful sword meme. i’m going to cry
@petermorwood
I saw and reblogged this one a while back, but it’s always worth repeating, and this time I’m adding a bit of background info comparing common fantasy sword features to the Real Thing (with pictures, of course.)
Leaf-bladed swords are a very popular fantasy style and were real, though unlike modern hand-and-a-half longsword versions, the real things were mostly if not always shortswords.
Here are Celtic bronze swords…
…Ancient Greek Xiphoi…
… and a Roman “Mainz-pattern” gladius…
Saw or downright jagged edges, either full-length or as small sections (often where they serve no discernible purpose) are a frequent part of fantasy blades, especially at the more, er, imaginatively unrestrained end of the market.
Real swords also had saw edges, such as these two 19th century shortswords, but not to make them cool or interesting. They’re weapons if necessary…
…but since they were carried by Pioneer Corps who needed them for cutting branches and other construction-type tasks, their principal use was as brush cutters and saws.
This dussack (cutlass) in the Wallace Collection is also a fighting weapon, like the one beside it…
…but may also have had the secondary function of being a saw.
A couple of internet captions say it’s for “cutting ropes” which makes sense - heavy ropes and hawsers on board a ship were so soaked with tar that they were often more like lengths of wood, and a Hollywood-style slice from the Hero’s rapier (!!) wouldn’t be anything like enough to sever them. However swords like this are extremely rare, which suggests they didn’t work as well as intended for any purpose.
I photographed these in Basel, Switzerland, about 20 years ago. Look at the one on the bottom (I prefer the basket-hilt schiavona in the middle).
A lot of “flamberge” (wavy-edge) swords actually started out with conventional blades which then had the edges ground to shape - the dussack, that Basel broadsword and this Zweihander were all made that way.
The giveaway is the centreline: if it’s straight, the entire blade probably started out straight.
Increased use of water power for bellows, hammers and of course grinders made shaping blades easier than when it had to be done by hand. This flamberge Zweihander, however, was forged that way.
Again, the clue is the centre-line.
Incidentally those Parierhaken (parrying hooks - a secondary crossguard) are among the only real-life examples of another common fantasy feature - hooks and spikes sticking out from the blade.
Here are some rapiers and a couple of daggers showing the same difference between forged to shape and ground to shape. The top and bottom rapiers in the first picture started as straights, and only the middle rapier came from the forge with a flamberge blade.
There’s no doubt about this one either.
The reason - though that was a part of it - wasn’t just to look cool and show off what the owner could afford (any and all extra or unusual work added to the price) but may actually have had a function: a parry would have been juddery and unsettling for someone not used to it, and any advantage is worth having.
However, like the saw-edged dussack, flamberge blades are unusual - which suggests the advantage wasn’t that much of an advantage after all.
Here’s a Circassian kindjal, forged wiggly…
…and an Italian parrying dagger forged straight then ground wiggly…
There were also parrying daggers with another fantasy-blade feature, deep notches and serrations which in fantasy versions often resemble fangs or thorns.
These more practical historical versions are usually called “sword-breakers” but I prefer “sword-catcher”, since a steel blade isn’t that easy to break. Taking the opponent’s blade out of play for just long enough to nail him works fine.
NB - the curvature on the top one in this next image is AFAIK because of the book-page it was copied from, not the blade itself.
The missing tooth on that second dagger, and the crack halfway down this next one’s blade, shows what happens when design features cause weak spots.
So there you go: a quick overview of fantasy sword features in real life.
Here’s a real-life weapon that looks like it belongs in a fantasy story or film - and this doesn’t even have an odd-shaped blade…
Just a very flexible one…
If you want more odd blades, Moghul India is a good place to start…
i could not ask for a better addition to my meme post than blade education thank you so much
Always gonna reblog. :)
????
i went to "mad at me" island expecting to find people i knew, something i understood. but when my boat landed, standing upon the shore were a million empty husks wearing my own face. every foot of the island was occupied, and everywhere i went, they watched me with contempt. they never spoke, never breathed. they simply watched. no matter how i grovelled and begged, snarled and cursed, tried to hide or kicked and hit, they simply stared. the hatred in their gaze was inescapable, but i could hardly return it, knowing that their doomed existence was of my own creation. knowing that the hatred was nobody's but my own. in the end i just wept, unable to stand the relentless gaze of my own infinite glare.
the guy who i accidentally cut off in traffic last week was there also
before you beat yourself up for not cleaning, ask yourself:
is there a proper place to put the things you're tidying up?
a lot of times i would find myself struggling to finish cleaning things when the real problem was that I didn't actually have a permanent place for things to go once I had actually picked them up.
once I was making sure I had shelves or bins or organization things first, it became a lot easier to actually finish tidying things up since I knew where things were supposed to belong
I’m very excited for my latest craft experiment, where I rhythmically slap sale rank oil paint onto a canvas and I see how long it takes to dry so that I can finally touch the paint textures I stare at so longingly in museums. 12 hours in, still wet. I am beginning to think this might take longer than I thought which you can imagine is quite a burden, as I am absolutely horned up to rub this paint.
You guys sound like you know what you’re talking about but I’m gonna touch it every twenty minutes just to be sure
I’ve put this canvas to age in the basement like a fine wine, along another recent masterpiece of mine “I put the paint on me hand and I slap the canvas like a bongo”
Paint slapped on 6/9, as of 6/22 (I mean actually it was a couple days ago but I didn’t fully check the dryness then so I can’t be sure):
It is rubbery feeling and the peaks of paint move when you flick them. The texture is not at ALL what I expected tbh and it makes me excited to try a different experiment, thick brush strokes, you know, those mad thicc ones that swirl real good
Here’s an additional shot with my coffee cup for a further sense of scale so people will understand that these canvases are small and therefore stop sending me asks about my supposedly gorilla sized hands, you bastards, you rotten bastards scared of the hands your minds gave me
I don’t know shit about art but isn’t this like a great example of art that pushes the boundaries of what art is? Like you’ve got your canvas with paint on it, but your reason for putting the paint there is totally different than why most people put paint on stuff. It’s like a study on texture or something.
Agreed, this is really cool and also I love the fact that you really wanted to touch some paint, so you just went out and bought a bunch of paint and made your own painting for touching purposes. That’s striking me as really really cool right now for reasons I can’t entirely articulate.
For reference: Really thick paint on a piece of art is called impasto. Another really fun way to do it is with a painting knife: you can make each stroke SUPER SMOOTH like cake icing, but with visible, touchable texture between the strokes.
More impasto:
art by Jan Ironside, who does THICK IMPASTO FLOWERS THAT I SO WANT TO TOUCH
You LITERALLY sat down to watch paint dry…
Museums should have stuff like this on display JUST so you can touch it. With a sign like, “Feel me up! I won’t alarm!”
make good art
Only thing about thick impasto is that the paint can get a bit sharp sometimes. Like, I’ve cut my hand on dried impasto paint because the paint stroke was that pointed. -.-;
Every reply on this post is delightful
sorry this is not relevant at all but ive seen this post many times and EVERY SINGLE TIME “ stop sending me asks about my supposedly gorilla sized hands, you bastards, you rotten bastards scared of the hands your minds gave me” makes me spiral ive never laughed so hard thank you
This entire thread is wonderful. What better reason to create art than pure human curiosity? 🥰
ok well this blew my mind
In Pilgrim Bell, Kaveh Akbar reaches across languages to write "documents of barbarism."
This is also true with filmmakers. Western filmmakers pan their cameras mostly left to right and Iranian filmmakers do right to left.
Time seems such a universal concept and then I find out the different ways people perceive everything and remember “it’s all appearances to consciousness”
But the coolest part of that time-direction study, was there didn’t seem to be a consistent pattern to how aboriginal Australians arranged the images, until it was realized that the issue was where the participant was sitting, because they were consistently arranging them East to West.
People are so much more sad, and desparate, and lonely than you think. I have had three incidents in the last four months were a technician I was working with was being either dangerously unfocused (we work with high voltage), or just flat out angry with their coworkers, and every time when I just pulled them aside to say hey, this isn't you, you're nice, and you're competent, so something must be up - what can I do to help - they have responded by bursting into tears. One guy was struggling to get his wife moved into a care home, one guy just got served divorce papers, and the other hadn't slept a wink the night before because his daughter had the pukes.
I haven't spent my whole life responding to people being rude, or stupid, or dangerous with knee jerk compassion. It's a new habit. The first time I did that as the lead for my lab, it was because the guy genuinely was so good natured that I knew something had to be off. But the other two times were just me going, alright, lets see if it always goes this well, and so far, it has. I'm almost 30, and I just figured out that the #1 reason people are shitty are because they are going through shit.
I don't think you have, like, a moral obligation to respond to people being jerks with knee jerk compassion. But it has made my life so much easier the last four months that I would recommend trying. For your own sake. Please.
(I'll step off my soapbox now. Enjoy your Sunday.)
“The next suitable person you’re in light conversation with, you stop suddenly in the middle of the conversation and look at the person closely and say, “What’s wrong?” You say it in a concerned way. He’ll say, “What do you mean?” You say, “Something’s wrong. I can tell. What is it?” And he’ll look stunned and say, “How did you know?” He doesn’t realize something’s always wrong, with everybody. Often more than one thing. He doesn’t know everybody’s always going around all the time with something wrong and believing they’re exerting great willpower and control to keep other people, for whom they think nothing’s ever wrong, from seeing it.” ― David Foster Wallace, The Pale King
parents will make u feel guilty about absurd shit like breathing too much air or smth. and it will work too like you'll be laying on the ground years later paralyzed by the guilt that you're breathing too much until someone grabs u by the shoulders and tells u that is fucking stupid. and then you'll need to remind yourself of that every day for the rest of your life to function
hey. don't cry. 99 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
Hey. don’t cry. 98 bottles of beer in the wall okay?
hey. don’t cry. 97 bottles of beer on the wall okay?
hey. don’t cry. 96 bottles of beer on the wall okay?
hey. don't cry. 95 bottles of beer on the wall okay?
hey. don't cry. 94 bottles of beer on the wall okay?
hey. don’t cry. 93 bottles of beer on the wall okay?
hey. dont cry. 92 bottles of beer on the wall . okay ?
hey. don't cry. 91 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don't cry. 90 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don’t cry. 89 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don’t cry. 88 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don't cry. 87 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don't cry. 86 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don't cry. 85 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don’t cry. 84 bottles of beer on the wall. ok?
hey. don't cry. 83 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don't cry. 82 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don't cry. 81 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don't cry. 80 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don't cry. 79 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don't cry. 78 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don't cry. 77 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don't cry. 76 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don't cry. 75 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don’t cry. 74 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don’t cry. 73 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don’t cry. 72 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don’t cry. 71 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don't cry. 70 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don't cry. 69 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?
hey. don't cry. 68 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey. don’t cry. 67 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey. don’t cry. 66 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey. don't cry. 65 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey. don't cry. 64 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey. don't cry. 63 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey. don't cry. 62 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey. don’t cry. 61 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey. don’t cry. 60 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey. don’t cry. 59 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey. don’t cry. 58 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
Hey, don’t cry. 57 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
Hey, don't cry. 56 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
Hey, don't cry, 55 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
Hey, don’t cry, 54 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey, don’t cry, 53 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey, don't cry, 52 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey, don't cry, 51 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey, don’t cry, 50 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey, don’t cry, 49 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey, don’t cry, 48 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey, don’t cry, 47 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
Hey, don't cry, 46 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
Hey, don't cry, 45 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
Hey, don't cry, 44 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
Hey, don't cry, 43 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
Hey, don’t cry, 42 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
Hey, don’t cry, 41 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
Hey, don't cry, 40 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
Hey, don't cry, 39 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
Hey, don't cry, 38 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
Hey, don't cry, 37 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
Hey, don’t cry, 36 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?
hey, don't cry. 35 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
Hey, don't cry. 34 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don't cry. 33 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don't cry. 32 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don't cry. 31 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don't cry. 30 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don't cry. 29 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don’t cry. 28 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don’t cry. 27 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don't cry. 26 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don't cry. 25 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don't cry. 24 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don’t cry. 23 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don’t cry. 22 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don't cry. 21 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don’t cry, 20 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don't cry. 19 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don't cry. 18 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don't cry. 17 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, dont cry. 16 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, dont cry. 15 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey, don’t cry. 14 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey. don't cry. 13 bottles of beer on the wall. ok?
hey. don’t cry. 12 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey. don’t cry. 11 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey. don't cry. 10 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey. don't cry. 9 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey. don't cry. 8 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey. don't cry. 7 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey. don't cry. 6 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey. don't cry. 5 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey. don't cry. 4 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey. don't cry. 3 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey. don’t cry. 2 bottles of beer on the wall, ok?
hey. don't cry. 1 bottle of beer on the wall, ok?
hey. cry.
Hey. don't cry. 100 speckled frogs, sitting on a speckled log eating the most delicious grubs, OK?
Hey. don't cry. 99 speckled frogs, sitting on a speckled log eating the most delicious grubs, OK?
Hey. Don't cry. 98 speckled frogs sitting on a speckled log eating the most delicious grubs, ok?
Hey. don't cry. 97 speckled frogs sitting on a speckled log eating the most delicious grubs, ok?
Spin the wheel. That's who's trying to kill you.
Spin the wheel again. That’s who’s trying to protect you.
(If you have zero idea about the name you got, spin until you see someone you recognize.)
Are you safe?
Absolutely not. I'm dead. 100% dead.
I might stay alive, but it'll be a really close thing.
I'll take some hits, for certain, but I should be okay in the end.
A few attacks might get through, but nothing concerning.
The attacker might be able to get in one lucky hit. If that.
I am the opposite of worried. I'm 100% safe.
…Look. I've tried picturing this. But I honestly don't know how to answer.
(Six months ago, I did a version of this poll with about five hundred options on the spinner wheel. For this one, I more than doubled it.)
Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way
VS
Rainbow Dash
I really have no idea how this will go.
Janet's trying to kill me, Loki is trying to save me.
Are we talking early Loki or late Loki? If it's puny god Loki I'm good as dead. Later Loki I might be alright.
Death from Final Destination
Vs
Ryan Atwood from The O.C.
Not only am I dead, all my moots are also dead. And, like, really surprisingly in freak accidents, too. Sorry guys. At least it'll be quick?
Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz
vs
Mumble from Happy Feet
While Dorothy ain't that scary, what's Mumble gonna do about it?
*aggressive tapdance*