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Peter Parker- The workplace is my family. Was that not clear?

Tonys my dad, Wandas my mean older sister.

And Peppers my mom.

Then we have Natasha and Dr.Banner as my Aunt and Uncle, Thor is like my immature older cousin, Steve is like my grandpa, Loki is the cousin that you rarely see but still somehow get in trouble with every time he is there, aaaand then we have Bucky, Clint, and Sam. They are the uncles that everyone warns you to try and stay away because they are weird. Well Aunt may likes to say, “Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts." Yeah that’s them.

Everyone except for Bucky, Clint, and Sam were laughing. Bucky was handing Clint his arrows and Sam was grabbing his wings.

Tony- You have about one minute to swing away kid.

(Source: Brooklyn 99)

Ron, thinking about what Hermione said earlier about Victor Krum being the funniest guy she has ever met: Funniest guy she’s ever met. I’m funny right? *talking to a door* What do you know? You’re a door. You just like knock-knock jokes.

Harry looks at Ron in concern as he gives a nervous laugh.

(Source: Friends)

Vision: *putting on a fake hulk mask* Halloween is stupid. Dressing up, pretending to be something your not.

Wanda: You’re a superhero….who pretends to be someone you aren’t everyday.

Vision: We are not talking about me Wanda. We are talking about Halloween. Thank you very much.

(Source: Friends)

T'Challa: "You fight like my sister!"

Peter Parker: "I've fought your sister. That's a compliment!"

(Source: The Road to El Dorado)

Peter Parker: Hey, Mr.Stark, you know how you called that ugly alien guy, Squidward?

Tony Stark: Yeah, Underoo’s. What about it?

Peter Parker: You know who Plankton is right? Small, Green, and Evil?

(Clint getting interested in the conversation)

Tony Stark: Yeah, What about him?

Peter Parker: Oh nothing, just that Thanos brain is as small as Plankton.

Clint: and his nose

Peter Parker: and his Dic...

Tony Stark: Don’t finish that sentence or I’ll get Natasha on you.

Peter Parker: *In kitchen with Shuri* lab coat!

Shuri: Lab coat. *helps peter put coat on*

Peter Parker: Goggles!

Shuri: Goggles. *hands Peter goggles*

Peter Parker: Mask!

Shuri: mask. *hands peter mask*

Peter Parker: Okay, last important thing, scalpel!

Shuri: *hands peter scalpel* Be careful, he’s not Loki. He can’t come back to life!

*Tony and T’Challa walks in*

Tony Stark: What in Thor’s name are you kids doing?

Peter Parker: shhhhh... I’m doing surgery on a grape.

Dr.Strange: *walks in* Your doing everything wrong! *Sigh* Give me the scalpel before you kill it.

Peter Parker: Okay, Mr.Stark I need a favor from you.

Tony Stark: Sure kid, anything, just name it.

Peter Parker: Okay well, you see, *sighs* I have a field trip tomorrow-

Tony Stark: Okay, go on.

Peter Parker:-to here. So like please don’t embarrass me, Mr.Stark.

Tony Stark: Of course not, kiddo, why would you ever think that? *starts thinking of every way possible to embarrass him*

Peter Parker: Whew, Okay thanks! I really thought that was going to be harder.

{NEXT DAY}

*On field trip*

*Gets pranked by Clint, has Natasha and Wanda baby him, has Thor call him embarrassing names like “Spiderbaby”, and “Starkson”, gets cookies from Bruce made by Bucky, has Sam comment about how cringy his outfit is, has Pepper mothering him by fixing his hair, has Rhodey giving him sympathy looks*

Flash Thompson: How do you know them, Penis Parker?

Tony Stark: *Smashes through wall* WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!!

Peter Parker: Shit!

Steve Rogers: *Somewhere in the building* Language!

Clarke Griffin: What do you think the new world is going to be like?

Jordan Hasper Green: Well, I’ve never been on a world before, so I know very little, but what I hope isn’t true, from what I read of my fathers notes is that people use to believe that the world is flat-

Clarke Griffin:*Thinks*‘How are you Monty’s and Haper’s son’

Jordan Hasper Green: -it would suck if just one day your walking and you go to the edge and then BAM you accidentally trip and your dead. Man, mess up way to die.

Bellamy Blake: Um, wow okay, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about the earth being flat-

Clarke Griffin:*Thinks*‘Thank god someone smart that can tell him that the world is round’

Bellamy Blake:-because the world is a oval.

Clarke Griffin: I’m done! *leaves room*

{At the avengers compound}

Tony Stark: *talking to peter* Follow me kid, I can show you around, I can show you our world, way up here, it’s crystal clear.

Happy: Tony, your doing Aladdin.

Tony Stark: Again? Anyway, kid I’ll show you the whole building. I’ll be like your guide.

Peter Parker: Like Gandalf through Middle-Earth?

Tony Stark: Ok, first of all, let’s take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave where no one will ever find them.

Peter Parker: Except Smeagol, He lives in a cave.

Bellamy blake: *watches Clarke kiss other guys because they are on a break*

Murphy: Dude, you need to chill your catching the food on fire!

Bellamy blake: Sorry, I’m just mad at Clarke

Murphy: Your the one that wanted the break.

Bellamy blake: Yeah, but I didn’t think she would go off kissing other guys, but if she wants to go out there kissing guys she barely knows, then so will I.

Murphy: ...

Bellamy blake: You know what I mean.

Tony Stark: so, how did you convince the whole team to betray me? What did you offer them? Money? Did you tell peter if he pranks me instead of the other team that you would give him the quinjet? What? Offer Clint some new arrows?

Steve Rogers: I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you and they instantly said yes but I had to offer peter food.

Tony Stark: Can’t believe the kid sold me out for food.

Steve Rogers: well it was actually just some fries from Arby’s.

Clarke griffin: Bellamy Blake!

Bellamy Blake: Princess!

Clarke griffin: Why are you yelling, I’m the one mad at you!

Bellamy blake: Why are you mad at me!?

Clarke griffin: Your keeping me locked in here for a stupid reason!

Bellamy blake: A stupid reason! You almost got killed clarke!

Clarke griffin: I tripped over freaking Murphy, and I just need a few stitches!

Bellamy blake: Wait! Your hurt! Where! Oh my god Clarke, I told you to be careful. Let me see your arm, next time you go out I’m sticking by your side 24/7. No. Nevermind change that, your just never gonna leave the med bay. I fucking told you to be careful and what do you do, you go and get hurt by freaking tripping. *picks Clarke up and starts carrying her to med bay* I might as well just carry you everywhere since I can’t even take my eyes off of you to let you walk, now you really are a princess, princess. What did I expect? Your Clarke, of course this would happen to you.

Clarke griffin: Last night I had Algae with nothing for the first time. Life changing.

John Murphy: wait till you have that everyday for 6 years straight!

*Getting ready for a fight*

Steve Rogers: How are we looking?

Tony Stark: Sexy, but not like we’re trying to hard. Like sure, we’re trying, but it’s almost effortless.

Thor: *talking to loki with fist in the air* You’re supposed to bump my fist with yours.

Loki: Why?

Thor: I’m told it’s a widely acknowledged gesture of mutual success.

Natasha: I love it when you two try to impersonate earthlings.

Clarke griffin: You think I might tell everyone in the dropship that you like to be the little spoon?

Bellamy blake: Everyone likes being the little spoon. It makes you feel safe! Murphy and Monty, back me up on this.

Murphy: yeah he’s right.

Monty: yes, little spoon all the way.

Peter Parker: *Showing a picture of Ned and him at the beach* Yeah it was so lit!

Thor: what is this lit you speak of?

Peter Parker: um well, it’s like another word for cool, like dope.

Thor: oh okay, thank you man of spiders! *learns everything about slang by looking it up online*

{Next Day}

Thor: this is so lit, tony, yeet! It’s so cray cray that there are so many words for just one emotion! Like Bruh, today’s gonna be so turnt!

Tony Stark: Peter!!! What did you do to Thor!

Peter Parker: um.. *holds phone upside down at his ear* oh okay, I’ll be there soon, Aunt May *runs and swings off balcony* YEET!

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