Fluffy Fat Kitchen Cat

If there is one thing I completely believe in, it's both the atrocities and kindness humans are capable of — It all depends on your definition, and therefore your perspective.

[effemar]

nobody tells you this bc it’s stupid but the best thing to do while on your period is play the sims 4 on a laptop in bed. not only is the sims 4 more fun when you’re emotionally disregulated but the processing power required for the worlds least optimized & shittiest video game of all time will cause your laptop to actively try to kill itself and depending on your position while playing the 3000 degree nuclear meltdown occurring in your lap makes a wonderful natural heating pad. Pro gamer tip

[sociallyunacceptableart4]

This was my art school’s water fountain. Drink from them wolf tiddies

[mando-lore]

Assignment misunderstood. I have now built a city.

[mando-lore]

[mando-lore]

Give it a day

[alexaloraetheris]

[chipper-smol]

How would you describe a dragon to someone who has never seen a dragon?

[chipper-smol]

"Horse but make it a lizard and give it bat wings and horns"

didnt know how to interpret "make it a lizard" so i wrote lizard and drew an arrow pointing to the horse so people know its a lizard. Also didn't know what bat horns were so I gave it a horned bat nose

"A body like a big cat but completely covered in scales, the head of a crocodile with the horns of an ibex, and the wings of a bat on its back"

On it boss o7, ive mashed all these animals together and threw scales all over it. This the dragon you saw?

"Take a lizard, extend the neck. Add a pair of bat wings to the back. Add horns and sharp teeth."

Seems like we're onto somethin' boss! Though idk how it'd be so fearsome bein such a small thing.

"Big-ass lizard with wings" "big lizard" "Giant lizard" "Big fucking lizard"

don't seem too special?

"Imagine a winged alligator that was 70 feet tall and aware of its existence"

i dont know if this is a dragon but it could definitely be some kind of god

"Dinosaur with wings and horns?"

Dunno which dino you were talkin about so i just picked a random one. Stegosauus :}

"Big snake with legs and horns that can breathe fire"

Ah. Hm.

"A dragon is like a tree, in that it's a made up category for a broadly similar type of mythological creature that has no relationship to other dragons, but you know a dragon when you see one the way you know a tree when you see one."

[kingfucko]

this is literally exactly like medieval bestiaries. a description which was game-of-telephoned out of an ancient account from somebody who might have seen the animal in question, being misinterpreted by an artist who has not seen it

[feaftlikeabeaft]

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

[the-uncanny-dag]

Sister post to The Vitamin

[misosoupcup]

[tomhardysurinal]

I have never wanted to open a spam email so badly

[spyglassrealms]

RA RA RASPUTIN’S

PILLS WILL MAKE A GIANT PEEN

THE ONLY PRICE IS FUCKING YOUR WIFE

RA RA RASPUTIN

RUSSIA’S GREATEST SCAM MACHINE

EXPANDING DONGS FROM THE AFTERLIIIIIFE

[vamptits]

they want you to make fried rice

[memser]

who is "they"

[vamptits]

the wok left

[solongandthanksforallthefish42]

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

[6qubed]

skillet issue

[iricressent]

furry species ranked by how difficult it'd be to take them anywhere

[iricressent]

taking my deer boyfriend for a hike in the woods and he hears a twig break and bounds off into the trees never to be seen again

[iricressent]

ok everyone leave now this is the best tag hands down.

[zillyblog]

I beg of you, look at the tags

[theawkwardqueerturtle]

been with my bunny gf for about a year. we currently have 144 kids and i'm thinking of having her spayed

[altruistic-meme]

a collection of my favorite tweets regarding the Ever Given in the Suez Canal

[coolbeanscoolbeans]

happy 1st bday to... this.

[modmad]

I personally am declaring this to be a new International Holiday 

[spaghettioverdose-deactivated20]

Happy 2nd anniversary to the Suez Canal blockage!

[blondejaneblonde]

Ever Given Week, 22 March to 29 March (observed)

22 March - Ever Given Eve. Many celebrate by completing some small task they’ve been putting off, symbolically clearing blockages in their own lives.

23 March - Blockage Day! The main celebration. The exchanging of memes.

24 to 28 March - Hilarity ensues. Memes continue to circulate. The best are saved for next year’s observances.

29 March - Clearance Day. Festivities wind down. A more solemn occasion.

[fourohfourlifenotfound]

Happy 5th birthday to this

[cheesedreamsaremadeofswiss]

FIVE years??!!!!!!!!

[dragonsrequiem]

one of my fave recent historical events!!!

[sugarmage]

[bellringermal]

[thyrell]

[fendalan]

Way too funny not to share

[ms-demeanor]

[optimisticrunawaygalaxy]

[thekaumidyking]

Trust Gru

[partywithponies]

Nothing more frustrating than talking about history with people on the internet who don't understand how averages work.

You'll be like "it's so tragic that this happened to this historical figure, she was so young", and some dipshit will be like "um actually the average life expectancy was only like 35 in those days so she really wasn't that young for the time at all 😌", and you have to explain that that "average life expectancy" is heavily skewed by the incredibly high infant and child mortality rate of the time, and that people who lived to adulthood and lived normal lives did in fact usually live to their 60s or older. Elderly people did in fact exist in the old days.

[partywithponies]

Then of course you also have to explain that no, child marriages were not "normal" in those days, they were purely political moves carried out by royalty, something the vast majority of the population did not happen to be.

[partywithponies]

Yes, the Empress Matilda was married off at 8 years old. She also then became Holy Roman Empress at 14 and led an army at 15, she's hardly a case study into what the average young girl was up to in medieval Europe, is she.

[offline-crowbot]

My hottest fanfiction take is I think people should stop posting multi-fandom oneshots as a single fic with like 50+ chapters and instead post them as individual fics

[tropiyas]

“i am a monument to all your sins” is such a fucking raw line for a villain it’s amazing that it came from halo, a modernish video game, and not some classical text or mythos

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

classic texts have nothing on the crazy people come up with in modern times tbh

[cerastes]

“I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.”

– Joshua Graham, Who Is A Fallout New Vegas NPC, Something Most People Throwing This Quote Around Don’t Realize

[sparkylurkdragon]

“If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight like I always have.”

– Shadow the Hedgehog in what is widely considered one of if not the single worst game in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise

[tarradash]

[spookyscaryskeletitties]

this is the source for this text and it haunts me on a regular basis

[onion-souls]

[oblivionsongstress]

“Pick a god and pray.”

-Fredrick from Fire Emblem Awakening

[jedijenkins]

Huh, it’s almost like art isn’t just fine art…

[mysteryseeker]

this is my addition to this ever growing list of raw quotes originating from unexpected sources

[knucklesandgyros]

[silver-tongues-blog]

[lostsometime]

#discovering that the profound is lurking behind the absurd#just waiting for the chance to peek through like sunlight through the clouds#is one of the best things in life once you start to notice it

this is a beautiful way to put it and i’m gonna cry abt it

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

this post has gotten so much better since the last time I saw it

[rolanslide]

I would like to add

[rolanslide]

“You want to be a hero, Tommy? Then die like one.”

- Technoblade from Dream SMP

We deserve a soft epilogue, my love

- A Stucky fanfiction

[gattinidiguerra]

Truly the best shit on the internet here.

[stormfalcon2018]

Ahem @bettinalevyisdetermined could you please do a video with this?

also “you’re not brave, you’ve merely forgotten the fear of death. Allow me to reacquaint you.” Is the rawest line and it’s from dominus ghaul from destiny 2’s vanilla story when it first released.

[dat-physics-gal]

How can we forget the quote that sums up this entire reblog chain:

Why do you people feel profound thought has to come from high places? The gutter looks at the stars too

[hitmanmason]

“Spare me this mockery of justice!” (A few minutes later, a with a different character) “Silence! Or you shall be held in contempt of court!” “I have nothing *but* contempt for this court!” The Transformers: The Movie (1986)

[eric-coldfire]

“For every kid that dreams up the electric lightbulb, there’s one who dreams up the atom bomb.” - Mr. Electric, The Adventures of Sharkboy And Lavagirl (2005).

[woonanonhatesstaff]

“I like turtles!” - turtle kid

[mithrel]

“If the sea were of ink and the sky parchment I could not begin to write my love for you.”

Grandma Arbuckle reading a love letter in A Garfield Christmas.

[the-haiku-bot]

Grandma Arbuckle

reading a love letter in

A Garfield Christmas.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[sgchan]

[heehoothefool]

@tenebrisimpyris

[theworstbastardhere]

[ceridawn]

“Your secret is safe with my indifference.” Said by Taliesin Jaffe during Critical Role as Percy.

[thenerdyindividual]

“The world should have protected you, but instead you have been asked to protect it. What an honor; what an injustice.” - Brain Murphy, NADDPOD

“In the same way that your heart feels and your mind thinks, you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. If you choose to care, then the universe cares.” - Brennan Lee Mulligan, Dimension 20

[spacedoutsnail]

Canadian figure skater Maddie Schizas had to ask her college professor for an extension on an assignment due to getting the dates mixed up as well as being in they Olympics

And he responded! He said absolutely and told her to just focus on the competition and that they’re all rooting for her 🥹

He also posted his first and only photo on Instagram of him watching her in the Olympics with the caption “I’m so proud of you Maddie!”

[jewish-joy]

I recently got an on-campus job. During the interview process, I requested that I not be scheduled on Friday nights or Saturdays as I am a Jewish student.

My boss immeadiately brightened and rushed to explain - "Of course ! Of course! We want to accomodate you! We have another worker who takes off for Ramadan. Do you need to take off for Ramadan?"

I shook my head, incredibly confused. "Uh. That's. Not my jurisdiction. I'm good." Boss nodded but was sure to add "Let me know if that ever changes. We can help you with Ramadan."

[maimonideznuts]

[jewish-joy]

@vangoggles THAT WHAT I WAS SAYING .

And I was finally on a shift with this guy. We were both sitting in silence because we had the ass-crack-of-dawn slot.

Over my coffee and twirling my Magen David necklace around my finger, I say "So. Ahmed. Ramadan.

And Ahmed over his energy drink, sighs - "don't you say shit about that."

[jewish-joy]

#what's the bet Ahmed was just asking for certain shifts during Ramadan and Boss got excited and was like “just take the whole ramadan off!”#“don't even worry about it! we support you! take the time you need!” I'm scheduled to work with him tomorrow morning so will find out then 🫡 .We're both STEM majors who use the early empty hours to study so I will report if I get more than a grunt out of him about it.

[jewish-joy]

another stupid-early morning, and between our respective course loads- him organic chemistry and me pathophysiology- I asked for the full story in how he got all of Ramadan off.

He sighed, and let me know that he did indeed try to explain to our manager that all he needed was to get shifts not around sunrise or sunset. But that in him explaining what Ramadan was, the plot very quickly got lost into this unhinged confusion where our boss was trying to google how people could survive an entire month without food or water.

So halfway through, he decided to pivot and go along with it, expecting less shifts in March because that's a difficult academic time anyway. Then, he had to keep a straight face when the end-product was the entire time off with paid leave.

So, now, he's in a hell partially of his own making where his boss genuinely believes he doesn't eat for a month and is trying to offer all non-Christian workers March off. I offered him time off for Hanukkah. He hit his head against the desk, and groaned.

[jewish-joy]

What I find so funny about this post is that people refer to it as if it's ancient. "I see this post every Ramadan"- I made it in 2025.

Ahmed is graduating this Spring so is taking his last ever Ramadan paid leave. He's unhappy about that fact. Last week, my boss offered me Ramadan off again. And I had sincerely forgotten that he has no idea that he's a minor tumblr celebrity .

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

I need tiktokers to understand that ao3 has been home for the freaks (affectionate) ever since the day it was created. the entire site was created because “dark and fucked up fics” were banned and removed from other platforms, so us freaks came together and created a site for other freaks — a site where nothing is censored, a site with no algorithm, no capitalism, no ads, and again, absolutely no censorship.

this has been our house for decades. you newbies don’t come into our house and tell us how to arrange our furniture. either be nice and respect our house, or leave and build your own house elsewhere.

[vorchagirl]

They'd fit right in over at fanfiction.net 🙃

[pixelrenaissance]

Yalls house sucks and is full of allegations and is sus af and should be investigated lmfao

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

if you report fanfiction to police and tell them they should “investigate this because fictional children are being harmed in these fanfiction and I don’t like it!!!!!”, you will get either of these outcomes:

the police will laugh at your face

they will investigate fanfiction, and while they waste their time investigating fanfiction and victimless “crimes”, real children are being hurt elsewhere, and you are taking the police’s time and resources away from these real children. so instead of doing something to actually help save real children, police are too busy trying to protect fictional ones that exist only in fantasies

also ao3 abides by american laws, so actually everything that is posted on the site is legal in america. and no, it’s not “child abuse” or “rape” or “csem” if the “victims” are fictional characters who were harmed in a fictional world (I believe that’s why it’s legal and allowed).

you don’t have to like it. you can find it extremely disgusting. but whether or not you like it, your personal discomfort is not law. for the record, anything that involves (fictional) children in sexual situations makes me super uncomfortable. so I just… don’t seek out fics that I know will make me uncomfortable. it is in fact that easy.

if you are allergic to peanut butter and you swallow a spoonful of peanut butter, knowing damn well that you are allergic, then the one who’s to blame is you. peanut butter alone will not and cannot hurt you unless you shove it in your mouth.

again, having no censorship is the entire point of ao3. you don’t have to like it. no one forces you to use the site, with all the donations ao3 is receiving, it’s doing just fine without you.

[galaxythreads]

Gonna take this moment to be extremely grateful for the ao3 team behind the scenes, as much as I complain, please take your time, we are forever grateful to you 🫵🫡🫡🫡🫡

[infectiouspiss]

kids deserve so much more respect and it turns out that saying that is a great way to locate the horrible people in any community <3

[infectiouspiss]

you'll say something as simple as "no child deserves to be hit" and people will crawl out of the woodwork to explain why they should be allowed to beat a 6 year old for spilling some water

[infectiouspiss]

you'll say "i think it's weird that adults literally have control over when children are allowed to use the bathroom" and up pops a teacher to say that when they're not shouting at the kids they teach, they're trying to stop them from hiding in the bathrooms

you'll say "i think children shouldn't be forced to eat food they hate" and here comes someone who feeds their kids plain rice and boiled chicken (while eating a nicely seasoned stirfry) claiming that it's okay actually and kids shouldn't be allowed to taste things

you'll say "i think kids should have bodily autonomy" and in comes someone who pierced their babies ears before it was even 24 hours old, frothing at the mouth because their kid wanted a haircut and thats somehow an insult

[infectiouspiss]

children are an oppressed class and everyone should be looking back at their own childhoods and making sure they don't ever make a child feel the same way they felt.