I Don’t Know What I’m Doing

Don’t actually know how this website works, ignore me… They/he I write fanfiction sometimes over on the ao3 (glowingemberofgold). Post as I go :)

[luckywolfsbane]

"You're just a grown up farm kid. That's why you hate cities and towns."

Fucking maybe? Maybe that's why I see urban sprawls as hostile zones of heat, starvation, and slow, agonizing deaths. If the city is not walkable, shaded, full of fresh water & fruit trees, and meaningful art and is instead littered with hostile architecture, concrete, and smog, then it's as close as I believe we'll ever actually get to Hell.

I hate modern American cities and towns. My hometown was not walkable. When I would go into town, we had to use the car. The one time I did walk across town, my entire family freaked out like I had done something dangerous--because I had!! I hate them. They are bad bad bad. Fix them now. I'll still take my quiet country roads and winding creeks, but that means nothing. Liking cities shouldn't condemn you to the modern city. I feel bad for all of you who will live your whole lives like this. Ffs.

[1000-life-hacks]

[archeologist-prophet]

Lovely to see we have spaces where you can gain access to so much literature!

[hag-o-hags]

Don't sleep on @queerliblib the Queer Liberation Library for all your queer Libby needs!

[chosominous]

Some brown eyes appreciation

[wtf-scientific-papers]

Wang and Lai (2014)

[gemstone-gynoid]

[thestuffedalligator]

It is November of 1893. You have just killed a vampire. Exhausted and worn, you close your eyes and rest.

You wake up. It is May of 1893. You are on a train en route to Transylvania. Your diary says you have had queer dreams lately.

You try to believe it.

(An old woman puts a rosary in your hands. You accept it without question.)

You are a guest in a castle you have never been in before (you recognize every hallway and know without trying that every door is locked). Your host is a man you have never met before (you killed him you killed him you killed him he had turned to dust and there was blood on the snow).

One morning you cut yourself while shaving.

There is nobody behind you in the pocket mirror’s reflection.

You turn fast, and the razor is like a Kukri knife in your hand.

[suneatershore]

[ravenatural-art]

( uploading again because I realized I accidentally missed a page )

Hey OP hope you don’t mind me making fanart because uhhhh I went a lil feral over this

[imsodishy]

One thing about the Hollander men; if you hit them with a social situation they don't know how to react to, they will straight up leave ✌️

call that the Hollander Goodbye

[penandinkprincess]

thoughts and prayers to ilya, who is marrying into a family of flight risks 🙏

[pixiecaps]

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

[pixiecaps]

they couldnt take the heat

[doctordotdj]

[bookinsomnia]

Do you think that ambulance drivers ever get tired of ER doctors having heart to hearts in the back of their ambulances.

Are they ever like, I know you two are having a moment but could you have it somewhere else 🤨

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

Absolutely bonkers that I'm now one of those weirdos you hear about on Twitter

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

I committed to the bit so hard that I also committed misdemeanor impersonation of a government official

[transtenzin]

not to be maya on side but please do not call someone or something “mayan” when talking about our people, culture, etc. “mayan” refers to our language family (a language FAMILY, in which there are plenty of unique languages). we are the maya, not the mayans. i am maya, not mayan. it is the indigenous maya community, not the indigenous mayan community. 

[transtenzin]

you can reblog this 😔

[chungledown-bimothy]

reblog to tell a 14 year old that these are the very, very hard years and they're not wrong to feel the way they do.

[nojglisrenaissance]

I had a fifteen minute long crying session yesternight over the fact that all I was 10 years ago, at the ripe old age of 14, is lost and lonely, and now, at 24, I am neither and that filled me with so much gratitude

[cecil-speaks]

reblog to tell a teenager that these aren’t actually the best years of your life and that things can and will get better when you have independance and maybe are away from your situation right now.

Its me reblog to tell me that

[sevastiel]

Same thing with young adults. It can still get better. Your thirties aren’t when you’re getting old, that’s 70s-80s and we all know old people can be cool as hell anyway.

It might take time. More than has already passed, but it will get better.

It gets better. It does, right? Yeah. Yeah it gets better.

[the-haiku-bot]

It might take time. More

than has already passed, but

it will get better.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Had a dream last night where I was a sapient vein of copper in a copper mine so we're just gonna. Scoot on past whatever the fuck that was.

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Copper, you say? High quality, perhaps?

[faerieinthehumanworld]

Tumblr's refusal to let this man die needs to be studied.

I'm all for it, of course, bc it's hilarious, but also why.

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

I think this post from @theabstruseone sums it up pretty well.

[disgooseting]

flip side of this is that any random normal person among us right this second and alive today could wind up being an archeological phenomenon centuries from now in a similar way to old Ea

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Electronic records won't last, my readers had better start sending me clay tablets threatening to hunt me for sport

[gigglepuffpixie]

chisel them yourself coward

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

CHISEL a clay tablet??

[thewitchness]

Inscribe them yourself coward*

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Ugh, fiiine

[karmajamie]

Are you wondering what your fans would pay for TTOU inscribed in clay?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

The shipping costs alone...

[aro-ace-axolotl]

Considering how widely spread it is and how many physical versions of it I’ve seen I bet loss.jpg will survive and isn’t that an interesting thought

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

In one thousand years' time some conspiracy theorist will be like "this strange pattern keeps showing up everywhere, what could it mean?" and run a MindNet blog about how our primitive internet must have been made by aliens

[elisabethdeep-blog]

Maybe if I start leaving fired clay reviews of ttou around the Gambier Bunnings.....

And Vic has free public transport for another what, week? Week and a half?

Niche nerd pilgrimage

[kaiserouo]

yeah i'd do that

[fahbee]

(source)

Bonus:

[purpldology]

Do you think he got the job?

[estrogirlie]

call-out post for my 5 year old cousin:

i just caught her “playing pretend” with her hot wheels and simulating high speed car crashes. not only is this disrespectful to people who have died or been injured in a car crash, but it also likely indicates that she will go on to intentionally cause car crashes in the future. please everyone reach out to her friends, extended family, and possible future employers to let them know she’s an irredeemable monster and is contributing to real world harm!

[thestuffedalligator]

I’m going to level with you. I have listened to The Devil Went Down to Georgia for most of my life. We were a country music household, this was a staple of my childhood along with Johnny Cash, Garth Brooks, and that one Chipmunks country album.

I have no idea what “Fire on the mountain run boys run/The Devil's in the house of the rising sun/Chicken in the bread pan picking out dough/Granny does your dog bite no child no” means and at this point I’m too scared to ask.

[dementian]

For once I can be of assistance.

Each of the lyrics comes from an old-time hickory song for fiddles, and is a lyric from that corresponding song.

"Fire on the Mountain" --> "Fire on the Mountain, run boys run"

Fire On The Mountain - Fiddle Player POV

"The House of the Rising Sun" --> "The Devil's in the house of the rising sun"

House of the Rising Sun

"Ida Red" --> "Chicken in the bread pan peckin' out dough"

Ida Red - Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys

"Granny Will Your Dog Bite" --> "Granny does your dog bite? 'No child, no'."

FTC #149 Granny Will Your Dog Bite

And for your furthered education, The Mountain Whipporwill.

Mountain Whippoorwill (aka How Hillbilly Jim Won the Great Fiddler's Prize)

[impossiblepackage]

this is the key part of the song, that a lot of people miss. people have this misconception that the contest between Johnny and The Devil is about who is the better fiddle player. but it isn't. its about who is the better fiddler.

in a time before things like radios and record players, every time you heard music was because there was somebody in the room with you playing an instrument. and many, many, many social events involved dancing, which requires music. so, if you're planning any kind of gathering in the american south or appalachia, you need to find a fiddler. and the fiddler's job is to play music that everybody knows and likes and can dance to.

the mistake The Devil makes in his bet with Johnny is that he misinterprets the contest as being about technical ability, so he has this big flashy song. he plays fast and impressively with a band of demons playing unfamiliar instruments in unfamiliar rhythms. he's definitely more skilled at playing than Johnny, and thinks he has it in the bag.

but Johnny wins because the contest is about being the best fiddler. the song uses these lines mentioned above as a shorthand for saying that Johnny is playing these songs. Johnny launches into a set of the most popular songs, played well, and that's what gives him his big win. A good fiddler knows all the hits, and can read the room to know what to play next. The Devil loses because he completely fails to read the room, and doesn't know the right songs.