ALL DRESSED UP FOR A HIT AND RUN

Yo! INFP. Angry shorty. To find my stuff underneath all the crap I reblog just search #my art on this blog. Thanks for visiting.

[hineway]

Heeheehoo

*sets this loose in your house*

[titleknown]

This post has two very different energies dependent on whether you do or don’t know what the “this” in question is.

[sataniclownmilk]

Why did my feet clench upon seeing this...

[heedra]

all cyberpunk stories are like “If you wanna crack open a cybercroissant this nasty, you’re gonna need a real top notch e-driller. i know a guy- Toledo Killswitch- he’s got the frag ordinance you need to grizzle this bocce ball.”

[fuckaspunk]

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[justintaco]

I really hate those stupids posts that are like:

“What about REAL monster girls??? Not just weird humans?? like real huge MONSTERS?? With giant sharp claws and big sharp teeth?? Where are those???”

You’re thinking of bestiality. You want to fuck a T-Rex.

[justintaco]

[viewtifulmarkovich]

If it passes the Harkness Test, I’m down.

[viewtifulmarkovich]

For the uninformed:

[randomitemdrop]

This isn’t an item or even a game mechanic but I think y’all know you need the Harkness Test at some point or another in most campaigns

[wumblr]

here’s my issue with the harkness test

[archdemoning]

[howtofuckamonster]

The takeaway here is that Scoobert Doo is a fuckable monster

[bemusedlybespectacled]

look, the harkness test isn’t whether a monster is ATTRACTIVE, it’s whether fucking the monster is UNETHICAL. “do I find scooby doo hot?” is a separate question from “IF I find scooby doo hot, would fucking him constitute bestiality?” 

[felixitas]

[manstrans]

questioning myself after making this

[sew-birb]

Steve Buscemi was in Spy Kids 2??

[evil-cowboy-wizard]

That’s your big takeaway from this post??

[just-shower-thoughts]

Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. “I killed your friend, here hold him.”

[unclebeanbag]

“Friend”

Its more of I killed a potential enemy. Hold his dismembered corpse in victory.

[ulysseus]

Plants don’t wage war

[unclebeanbag]

Ever heard of blackberries?

Yes, plants do wage war

[kasaron]

Mint and strawberries, too. They need to be quarantined or they will kill basically everything else. 

[systlin]

I planted mint in the ground 2 years ago.

It’s currently fighting a bitter battle to the death against the raspberries attempting to invade from the east while trying to annex the patio.

Could go either way at this point TBH. Unless, of course, I take a shovel and the blowtorch out there and battle both back to within their original boundaries.

And anyone wondering if a blowtorch is overkill for weeding back mint has never actually planted mint.

[moirakatson]

This post did not go where I expected it to.

[deathbeforednf]

Our garden plot at my childhood home slowly got overrun by wild blackberries after we stopped managing it while my sister and I were in nursing school. And by overrun I mean it was like a 4 foot tall thicket of wild blackberries. It hadn’t been touched by humans in at least 4 years. I started the ultimately futile task of trying to clear this plot with a machete and discovered to my amazement a patch of mint several feet across underneath the canopy of blackberry, still fighting the good fight all those years later.

Ultimately it took two jars of homemade napalm and some creative fire placement to clear that patch but I damn sure saved that patch of mint. It earned the right to be there.

[norseminuteman]

Yall mother fuckers don’t even talk unless you’ve had to wage war on kudzu (it’s an ivy strain directly from Hell) that shit doesn’t just wage war with other plants, it wages war with all living things on planet earth. It’s some gnarly ass Blood for the Blood God, Chlorophyll for the Chlorophyll Throne demon weed. 

[breadgunner-deactivated20181003]

Can second the comments of Kudzu.

I forget where I read it but there’s this one tree that creates an extremely flammable substance that’s in both the bark and leaves. Dead trees become torches and crushed up leaves become dust-incendiary, all while the plant’s seeds are Giant Redwood levels of resilient to open flame. IE it has a goddamn scorched earth policy. It’s even more badass than plants that use toxins to starve other plants.

[booksandwildthings]

I’d like to third the comments on Kudzu. These are the battlefields:

See those weird pillars? Those were trees. See that strange lump in the middle? That was a house. Everything green you see in this photo is kudzu.

[nevercure]

Kudzu is an apocalyptic nightmare

They smother every other living plant to death

Those trees under there are dead, they can’t get sunlight. Kudzu takes over and steals everything from these trees, and becomes them. It’s creepy as hell. These plants are basically straight out of a horror novelist’s wet dream tbh.

The bodies of everything the kudzu has slain.

What used to be a house

Someone attempting to drive a four wheeler through it, to give you scale

It’s an ornamental plant kept in check in china, but was introduced to north america where it immediately went rampant and began to spread incredibly fast like a disease, destroying everything in its wake

The ONLY thing that has stopped this curse from engulfing the united states is goats. Apparently goats love this stuff like no tomorrow. Everywhere we find it now, we just bring a horde of goats to cut it down. Everything is fine…. for now.

[nevercure]

Kudzu is on time magazine’s top 10 invasive species to look out for.

This little buddy doing his part

[nevercure]

Not to keep spamming this post but 

“the growth of kudzu as it became a “structural parasite” of the South,[7] enveloping entire structures when untreated[11] and often referred to as “the vine that ate the South”.[13]”

“It has been spreading rapidly in the southern U.S., “easily outpacing the use of herbicide spraying and mowing, as well increasing the costs of these controls by $6 million annually”.[2]“

yall it’s been estimated this plant consumes 600 kilometers of the united states every year

it’s been suggested that we just start eating it to make it go away

[kiwilemonteanonsense]

Adding to the spam: yes, kudzu IS edible. In fact, all parts of it but the vine are edible. The leaves are supposedly great in salads or baked into quiche. The flowers supposedly are great in jam. The roots… Well, if you know how to cook other root vegetables, you know what to do with kudzu root. Feed this stuff to your livestock and cook it.

Eat it before it eats your house.

[vagaybond]

@solarpunkcast @solarpunkactionweek @solarpunkinspo @enviropunk feels relevant

[crittizen]

In this world it’s eat or be eaten

[gamebird]

Thread starts with the existential angst of building a treehouse. Ends with recipes on how to eat kudzu.

Posts that make you go ‘hm.’

[eijiroukiriot]

this is the funniest tweet i’ve seen in months bye

[bigratbastard]

[fxr-yxur-amusement]

[chaos-storm]

[aaawunder]

[nomuru2d]

these are all the geek equivalents of Lovecraft’s Cat’s Name

[official-lucifers-child]

his cats name couldn’t be that bad!!!! it’s a cat, what’s the worst name?

[official-lucifers-child]

i am wrong, what the fuck

[ruriginzuishou]

Me every time this post comes back

[might-be-somebody]

go Google why chainsaws were invented, it’s really fun :)

[queer-cosette]

why.

[xbubbledumbbx]

I’ve seen everything at this point, so why were chain saws in-

[tarantula-veins-deactivated2023]

oh what the FUCK WHY

[polirange]

Thanks I hate it.

[fairyofsomething]

I could have gone my whole life without knowing it, thank you motherfucker

[goat-yells-at-everything]

To be fair, its not AS bad when you read into detail. But ya. Still like getting slapped in the face with a cold fish.

[mama-germany]

i’m boutta google why chainsaws were invented now.  feel like i’m going on an adventure.

[mama-germany]

really speaks to how i’ve been around the internet, that that wasn’t what i was expecting it to be, but it was also really close to what i expected it to be.

[silverscreenx]

[that-wildwolf]

Every time I see this post it’s gone in a completely different direction and every time it’s cursed as fuck

[sobredunia]

Bro chainsaws are used for chopping wood literally how bad can it be

I’ve surely seen worse

[sobredunia]

literally what the fuck

[e-6000]

Actually The chainsaw and thing wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Still horrific, but not what I’d expected

[gigglepuffpixie]

this whole post is like looking up the origins of corn flakes or graham crackers and instead finding out about the sleepytime tea founder.

[sataniclownmilk]

Weren't graham crackers and corn flakes made to stop masturbation

[sataniclownmilk]

Y'all sleeping on the Long Halloween and it shows WHERE ARE ALL MY THIRSTY FOR HARVEY BITCHES AT

[yo-its-matt]

I think I’m going to make UK Breaking Bad next. I am going to abuse the power of Artificial Intelligence.

[yo-its-matt]

Oi jesse we ‘ave ta cook, ya mad cunt

[sataniclownmilk]

Ok I don't mean to be rude but why do British people look like they're wearing someone's face instead of having their own? Like they got thin skin and see through eyelids? Kinda fucks with me

[mayanangel]

whoever made this deserves an award

[fangirltothefullest]

This is so funny

[lolwtfmemes]

[no-gods-no-masters-tshirts]

[antisisyphus]

malewife this and malewife that WHY have we forgotten about our boytoys?

[courtjester69420]

aging tumblr population wants to settle down

[chthonicillness]

i want. a cicada on one arm and a crayfish on the other

[chthonicillness]

tattoos i mean. i’m not like, taking a couple of invertebrates out on the town

[onenicebugperday]

why not

[deepfryed-roachinfested-possum]

the same person reblogged this from me 45 times what the fuck is going on

[akpinkprincess]

sorry it was for a cause

[chthonicillness]

YOURE MY HERO

[anxietylord]

Good afternoon to plant mom lesbians, disaster bisexuals with PhDs, disgraced professors, flamboyant know-it-all homosexuals, grown up men who are a little *too* into children’s literature, guys who like it really cold, guys who like it really hot, lawyers who like to take chances, former pro-wrestlers who should really moisturize, dudes who bring a knife to a gun fight, nightclub owners who are always prepared for rain, women who are incredible at running in heels, and lego clowns.

[everythingfox]

Baby elephant thought man was drowning and rushed to save him

[wakandamama]

HE JUSTA BABY 🥺

[urbanfantasyinspiration]

A baby the size of a truck 🥺

[thespectacularspider-girl]

I love elephants so much.

[thekanucklehead-deactivated2025]

When I was in Nepal, I went to an elephant sanctuary and saw this little guy. The little bundles of grass in his front of him were “sandwiches”, brown sugar and salt wrapped in sweet grass, and he was swaying from side to side while he ate, like a little food dance.

[divagonzo]

Reblog for someone to make you a dozen sandwiches for this weekend’s little happy food dance.

[sataniclownmilk]

Since when is making fun of people with cancer ever okay. You might not like that person but,,, there are other people with cancer,,, who are dying,, and will see your bullshit????

There are people who still die of cancer and you shouldn't wish it upon people?????????????

[seidkonaz]

BRO, you NEED to STOP SUMMONING DEMONS IN THE FRAT HOUSE

[baruyon]