Do you ever dream of flying?

Solid ace. Nerd. Warning: probably some level of autistic. No politics, please.

[geopsych]

Here’s a video so you can hear the water and the thrushes. I took it for you because you couldn’t be there. <3

[geopsych]

Sharing this again for anyone who could use a few seconds of peace and light today for whatever reason.

[systlin]

So my sister wants to start sewing more, because

a. She’s 5′ 11″ and can never find pants long enough for her legs or shirts long enough for her arms.

b. She hates synthetic fibers as much as I do and it’s difficult to find natural fiber clothes that aren’t made of cotton

c. She’s a biologist and would physically fistfight microplastics if given half a chance

So her gift from mom and dad for her birthday was a sewing machine. Not a super expensive one but a good solid serviceable one.

And recently she asked “So where do I GET wool or linen and thread that isn’t polyester” and mom was like ‘go ask your sister’

And I, of course, crashed into the group text like “GET A PEN I HAVE WEBSITES FOR U” and honestly I’m thrilled about this

[systlin]

“Where did u get all this”

“Bets, u know I’m a 15th degree blackbelt of buying shit on the internet”

“oh yeah tru”

[hermesmuse]

Op can may we inquire about the website list

[systlin]

Linen; https://www.graylinelinen.com/

cotton and Silk thread; https://redrockthreads.com/

Linen thread and wool fabric; https://burnleyandtrowbridge.com/ (they’ve got wool stuffs and worsted wool fabric for $15 a yard! I just got three yards of navy worsted wool I’m making a constellation winter skirt from)

More linen thread and wool; https://wmboothdraper.com/ (just ordered wool broadcloth to make a coat)

Silk fabric (THE best place to get silk lining fabrics and raw silk fabric):https://www.dharmatrading.com/

A varying assortment of wool and silk and cotton and even some leather, use coupon code  spring2020 for 50% off your full order, worked yesterday when I bought some stuff there; https://metrotextilesnyc.com/

Wool. You want wool coating for under $20 a yard? Sure you do. It’s here. Not a huge variety of colors, most are black or brown, but hey https://www.fashionfabricsclub.com/Catalog?refinementIds=4096748&Keyword=wool&pageSize=16

[wingedtyger]

I don’t know a lot about sewing, but I want to make or have my mom make some linen pants & shirts for when I’m watering, because it gets to 105 here and we have mosquitos so I need to be covered. What type of linen do I buy? Also, linen pajama shorts, yes/no?

(I’ve been wearing my renfaire pants which are a linen mix, I think. But the frikking mosquitos that hide in the tomatoes get my arms)

[systlin]

Medium weight is what I’d go with.

And linen pajama shorts is a HARD yes.

[beggars-opera]

Renaissance Fabrics is good for all sorts of things

Mood doesn’t specialize in natural fabrics but they do have basically every fabric ever made so

[the-merry-otter]

For wools, I cannot recommend Woolsome enough! They’re a bit more expensive then the above links, but they have a spectacular range of colours and weights, as well as diamond pattern and herringbone weaves. They also have a range of linens, though not as extensive.

Woolsome

Historical fabrics for re-enactors

[justgarb]

Tiedtohistory.com has sheer voile linen

The Linen Lab has a variety of weaves, weights, and colors available

Period Fabric has a variety of wools, but switch to the full website if you’re on mobile

[jackthebard]

Just remember. There is no such thing as a fake geek girl. There are only fake geek boys. Science fiction was invented by a woman.

[sourcedumal]

[shuttersmiley]

Specifically a teenage girl. You know, someone who would be a part of the demographic that some of these boys are violently rejecting.

[foxsan-deactivated20140515]

Isaac Asimov.

[sim0nbaz-deactivated20170205]

yo mary shelley wrote frankenstein in 1818 and isaac asimov was born in 1920 so you kinda get my point

[fancyeliza-deactivated20200804]

If you want to push it back even further Margaret Cavendish, the duchess of Newcastle (1623-1673) wrote The Blazing World in 1666, about a young woman who discovers a Utopian world that can only be accessed via the North Pole - oft credited as one of the first scifi novels

Women have always been at the forefront of literature, the first novel (what we would consider a novel in modern terms) was written by a woman (Lady Muraskai’s the Tale of Genji in the early 1000s) take your snide “Isaac Asimov” reblogs and stick it

even in terms of male scifi authors, asimov was predated by Jules Verne, HG Wells, George Orwell, you could have even cited Poe or Jonathan Swift has a case but Asimov?

PbbBFFTTBBBTBTTBBTBTTT so desperate to discredit the idea of Mary Shelly as the mother of modern science fiction you didn’t even do a frickin google search For Shame

[cryptovalid]

And if you want to go back even further, the first named, identified author in history was Enheduanna of Akkad, a Sumerian high priestess.

[gunthatshootsennui]

Kinda funny, considering this Isaac Asimov quote on the subject:

Mary Shelley was the first to make use of a new finding of science which she advanced further to a logical extreme, and it is that which makes Frankenstein the first true science fiction story.

[deathcomes4u]

Even Isaac Asimov ain’t having none of your shit, not even posthumously.

[velocigrey-deactivated20160825]

You know what else was invented by women? Masked vigilantes, the precursor to the modern superhero. Baroness Emma Orczy wrote The Scarlet Pimpernel in 1905. The character would later inspire better known masked vigilantes such as Zorro and Batman.

[geekinlibrariansclothing]

Got that?

[bettieleetwo]

Stick that in your international pipe and smoke it

[la-knight]

I have literally been telling people this for over a year.

[athenadark]

the first extended prose piece - ie a novel, was not, as many male scholars will shout, Don Quixote (1605) but The Tale of Genji (1008) written by a woman

[thepsychicclam]

The first autobiography ever written in English is also attributed to a woman, The Book of Margery Kempe (1430s).

[ladynorbert]

The day may come when I find this post and do not reblog it, but it is not this day.

[soniclozdplove]

By the way, yes, I'm ace. Yes, I am a Hazbin Hotel fan. Yes, I connect to Alastor as the first true bit of asexual representation I ever vibed with and connected to. And finally, yes, I treat Alastor like my Barbie doll and respectively ship him in some form with multiple people. Cry about it.

[no-longer-another-bondi-blonde]

This wins the internet for 2024!! 😂😂

[no-longer-another-bondi-blonde]

Brilliant 😂😂

[angietherose]

I needed a good laugh 🤣

[purlturtle]

You're laughing.

She's there upside down tits out feet stuck and you're laughing.

[aledradio]

Do you ever have moments that can be summed up by this image?

[decoysender]

[gizmotemusic]

Image description under cut:

Image description: a Reddit comment by The Birmingham Bear:

I consider myself a pretty imaginative person.

But I cannot, and will never be able to comprehend how anyone gets worked up when a person wearing a suit comes in one day and now is wearing a dress and says "I'd like to be called 'she' now."

I mean the amount of mental energy people have spent getting worked up about this is just fucking batfuck insane.

We are creatures born of voidstuff that bootstrapped consciousness out of nothingness and in the infinitesimal span of 2000 years went from pushing around a stone wheel to landing a rocket on the fucking moon.

And yet hundreds of millions of people spend their entire fucking lives fighting against a tiny percent of people that would just like to be called a she instead of he or vice versa.

What a fucking waste. It's pathetic. The Protectors of Public Bathrooms? The Purity of Pronouns Police? Fucking juvenile. Depraved, sad, meager little fools.

It makes me livid beyond the inhumanity and cruelty of it. Like, I would like to lie, and tell you that my anger is entirely on behalf of the trans community, that this is entirely out of empathy for them, but that's only a half truth. Only half of my outrage is on behalf of them, the other half is a purely selfish fucking fury at how fucking pathetic these bigots are. How sad, meager, nonsensical, and preposterously fucking stupid this entire mainstream political anti-trans movement is.

It makes me livid because it's just so fucking beneath our potential as a species. We could be terrforming planets right now, and people like Sophie Wilson are essential to us having the societal capacity to do the work.

And yet we're bogging people like her down in laws focusing on what fucking bits she has and what she wears relative to those bits. Alan Turing did more than nearly any human alive not ONLY to WIN WORLD WAR FUCKING TWO, but to advance the entirety of human technology, and he was harassed his entire life because he liked to fuck men.

So insignificant. So completely, entirely irrelevant to the grand scheme of the cosmos and we are just swarmed and consumed by the weight of these fucking ignorant, meager little losers and their sad, delerious little missions.

These cosmically myopic pissants with a mere fraction of the intellectual capacity of someone like Sophie or Alan Turing are standing around in their filthy fucking mobs protesting people like her, harassing people like her, using the power of government office to attack people like all, and for what? Because she was born with a dick but now as an adult prefers to act and dress as though she weren't?

That's it. That's all. It's so irrelevant to these idiots' lives, so inconsequential to them, so.intensely personal to her and her alone, and yet they just screech and froth and drag our entire species down under the weight of their inanity and stupidity.

Entire political parties full of ivy-league educated opportunistic, psychopathic charlatans and all their ideologically sympathetic propaganda networks are whipping up our worst and stupidest and pointing them at these ordinary, normal people who did nothing wrong for no other reason than because they're a convenient minority to victimize at that moment.

For fucks sake, if you, whoever you are, are among these bigots, take a fucking look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself why you want to spend this precious, brief span of your existence being this sad and pathetic.

The purity of a fucking pronoun? The safety of a public bathroom? The sancitity of children's sports? Are you fucking serious? You are an adult and this is what you think matters? This is what you think constitutes using significant amounts of your time and energy fighting against? These are not real. These are not the serious concerns of a serious human being.

You people are being hooked by the fucking balls by con men and dragged around the streets made to hold a fucking bullhorn for them, shouting bloody fucking panic about bathrooms being invaded? Do you ever stop to look around at what a fucking clown you're being made into? Do you? You have one life and you waste it like this?

Sophie Wilson was born with a condition that made her physically and psychologically uncomfortable by the gender norms related to the genitalia she had at birth.

Despite the public fucking spectacle people like you have made of this very simply-addressed issue, she found her peace, she transitioned, and despite the pain of the condition, and the pain of simply being trans in an environment this pointlessly fucking hostile, she went on to build essential components to the technology YOU people use to spew fucking hate at her.

That's what she did. Contributed to the good of all mankind. Tell me again how your useless, bigoted asses are going to save reality by preventing her from using your bathroom, clowns.

She advanced human knowledge, and yet if she were in modern-day Texas they would want to throw her in jail for wearing a dress. It. Is. Pathetic.

EDIT: It's good to go on a rant against transphobia every now and again. As a cis person I don't have many opportunities to converse with these transphobes on a regular basis. I start to forget they exist.

Then they come screeeeeeching in to tell me how misplaced my anger is, because, GASP! Did I know that people out there were asking them to use different pronouns?!

The inhumanity of it!

Meanwhile in hellacapes like Florida and Texas they are passing laws to make drag shows illegal, they are calling trans individuals pedophiles in statr houses and trying to pass laws making it illegal to dress "in clothing different to that of the gender assigned at birth."

But yes, YOU are the ones who have had your life upended, what with the, maybe one trans individuals you ever actually encounter in real life, who requests you respect their dignity as a human and call them a he even if they were originally born a woman?

You people sound fucking preposterous. I want you to know that. I've listened to five year olds throwing tantrums and screaming blood murder for not getting to eat a whole pack of Oreos and they sound more reasonable than you people.

You know what? I don't believe in the science behind transphobes. I don't recognize you exist. I think you must be making this up. You're not real, so I don't validate your existence. You all agree with me deep down. No one has ever shown me science saying transphobia is a legitimate state of being. So, I invalidate your existence. Thanks for agreeing with me.

Like, I know you SAY you don't believe in honoring other people's pronouns, but you're just making that up for attention. Deep down you really do believe it. I know. 100%.

I'm just asking to you to look at yourselves in the mirror. Just stop and fucking look. You are adults. With access to the internet. You could do anything.

And you are spending significant time and mental energy worrying about the safety of public bathrooms. One guy said calling a transwoman a she would lead to the collapse of the Oxford dictionary.

Do you people hear yourselves? Have you taken just one fucking moment in your adult lives to honestly assess the things you believe in? Do you take a pause to just look around at the sort of fucking losers you're standing beside? People banning drag shows? People calling gay people groomers? These are the same people behind segregation. The same people behind satanic panics. Jordan B fucking Peterson. These are your peers on this. This is your peer group. A pack of fucking losers.

For the sake of making something of the rest of your life, just please honestly listen to yourselves and ask yourselves if this is really what you want to be.

End image description.

[spiced-wine-fic]

A few months ago I was talking to my partner’s mother, who was telling me about her workplace before she retired. Several years back, they were called into a meeting and informed that one of their colleagues was ‘exploring his gender’. Sometimes he would be dressed as female and on those days she would like to called by feminine pronouns and her chosen names. On other days he might dress as male. No-one, she said, cared. They simply took it on board and because of that, their colleague now fully identifies as a woman. She said that she would come in one day and the next day he would come in It had no effect on their work whatsoever.

It’s not hard to accept people.

[breakfastburritosattiffanys]

I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING

RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER

FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[phils-mum-and-llama-placentas]

IT’S STARTED

[itsfantasticallyhomoerotic]

IT’S BEEN NOVEMBER JUST FOR FEW HOURS YOU ANIMALS

[peri-space-dorito]

IM SAVING THIS IN MY FUCKKING QUEUE AND EVERY FUCKING NOVEMBER AT 12:00 AM IM FUCKING POSTING THIS

[jacepi-time]

[selenedreamwalker]

What the hell, why not.

[tiktoksijustthinkareneat]

[argumate]

okay so that’s at least one person who would have no problem if they got sent back to medieval times, the guild hall absolutely going off to this mashup

[quasi-normalcy]

@honey-wine-and-time

[nyxetoile]

Husband: That tune is really familiar.

Me: It’s the Pirates of the Caribbean theme.

Him: Ah.

Me: Mashed with Carol of the Bells. On a harp.

Him: *stares*

Me: Everything is on the internet somewhere.

[only-tiktoks]

[purified-zone]

"I have two literature degrees and no words. This is fucked up."

[cantankerouscatfish]

@neriad13

[chewedcorn]

My cartoon gets posted every year about this time. May as well post it myself.

[thewightknight]

25% of the people have a 4th cone and see colors as they are

Given the sudden interest for the color of dresses and vision, here some of the fascinating findings we did recently.

The color nuances we see depend on the number and distribution of cones (=color receptors) in our eye. You can check this rainbow: how many color nuances do you count?

You see less than 20 color nuances: you are a dichromats, like dogs, which means you have 2 types of cones only. You are likely to wear black, beige, and blue. 25% of the population is dichromat.

You see between 20 and 32 color nuances: you are a trichromat, you have 3 types of cones (in the purple/blue, green and red area). You enjoy different colors as you can appreciate them. 50% of the population is trichromat.

You see between 33 and 39 colors: you are a tetrachromat, like bees, and have 4 types of cones (in the purple/blue, green, red plus yellow area). You are irritated by yellow, so this color will be nowhere to be found in your wardrobe. 25% of the population is tetrachromat.

You see more than 39 color nuances: come on, you are making up things! there are only 39 different colors in the test and probably only 35 are properly translated by your computer screen anyway :)

It is highly probable that people who have an additional 4th cone do not get tricked by blue/black or white/gold dresses, no matter the background light ;)

(x)

[ahaunteddildoforblaine]

I see 21 colors. I had no idea there are so many more.

[chocolatequeennk]

I see 35-39 colours, and I hate the colour yellow. That was actually what made me curious enough to stop scrolling and count. Who knew there was a scientific reason behind my colour preferences? So the idea here is that what I see as annoyingly, garishly bright, most people don’t see as clearly, and that’s why it’s “cheerful?” (I’ve never understood that description of yellow.)

[sassyhail]

I barely saw 18 or 19. Dang :/

[straightboyfriend2]

Im fucking colorblind

[sanjuno]

I see 36 👀

[selenedreamwalker]

I count 38. I think. If someone who can see all 39 colors could make a cheat sheet type thing pointing out different colors, that'd be nice, I wanna know which one I'm not seeing.

And yeah, it's nice to know why I'm personally offended by yellow, that's been confusing for years.

[gxldslvgs-deactivated20130516]

[aurevoir-mes-amis-deactivated20]

why are people even questioning obesity in america

[merlinsbearditsthedoctor]

why is your tea liquidised?

[american-auror-story]

….. Where exactly do you live that the tea isn’t liquid?!?

[merlinsbearditsthedoctor]

ENGLAND. WHERE IT IS IN A BAG AND YOU MAKE IT YOURSELF.

like what do you do with already liquid tea? Microwave it?

[asmallvillageincanada]

No it’s sweet tea you drink it cold

[abbysrwk-deactivated20140508]

WHO DRINKS COLD TEA???

[randomthingieshere]

HAVE YOU NEVER HAD ICED/SWEET TEA BEFORE?!?

[prouwu-deactivated20190721]

so i reblogged this from a british person and i’ve been laughing at their tags for 600 years

[cloudyobsession]

England, you stole tea from China.  You’ve had it a mere 4 centuries compared to their 30+.  Don’t play like you’re some kind of authority.

[starkinglyhandsome-deactivated2]

[skeletons ooh-ing]

[saveoursestras]

Shots fired. World War Tea has officially begun.

[myfriendscallmemaury]

#INTO THE HARBOR

[theanimangagirl]

[prettyboyshyflizzy]

Englad doesn’t own anything

[dad-monster-deactivated20171222]

except that time we owned most of the world

[dangerbooze]

[that-artgirl-deactivated2019081]

If I stop reblogging this, I’ve gone to the other side.

[navybluenestea-deactivated20191]

I have only seen this legendary post in screenshots, so today is a blessed day.

[phlying-squirrel]

HAH

BOSTON TEA PARTY PART 2

[vampire-spit]

HOLY HELL I FOUND IT

[lilzodiac]

And this is why I love Tumblr

[dmzenog]

Drinking cold tea is like drinking cold hot chocolate. Sure, you *can* do it, but you *really shouldn’t*

[brownirisandcurls-deactivated20]

Behold concerned Brit. Chocolate Milk

[sebsticles]

I only see this on pinterest omg….

[alwaystiredheaux]

OMFG

@riverwriter

[joonscupid]

BEHOLD THE GREATEST TUMBLR POST

[siriusly-fuck-off]

“world war tea” is the best play on words i’ve heard in weeks

[inifitywar]

this post is a wild ride from start to finish

[itsliterallythis]

I haven’t seen this since chocolate milk was added. Is that really just an American thing? You’re missing out guys!

[nabyss]

😂😂😂

[dontwantthenextcommanderiwantyou]

Cold tea

Cold hot chocolate aka chocolate milk

Cold coffee

I mean, do yall even know about cold water or is that an American thing too???

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

YOU GUYS DRINK COFFEE COLD AS WELL???

[benjamminandthemarmalades]

Does the rest of the world not use ice cubes? Do y'all not have freezers? What is going on?

[dazzling-rubabe]

Just thought I’d put my 2 cents in this post, it’s iced tea and not sweet tea. Idk what Americans r smoking 💀

[ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr]

I’m relatively new to Tumblr but it seems like sort of a big deal that I found this post so I’m gonna reblog

[transtimwrightwithstyle]

Imagine not liking iced tea- actually im gonna go drink some now

[cumbercookiebatchs]

I don’t even know what to say…

[grangerstarkid-deactivated20210]

i drink iced tea every day >:)

[ashdeactivated]

Iced tea is brilliant but hot tea is nice too

[gaymoods]

@dazzling-rubabe

Behold concerned Brit

[world-hostage-situations]

World War Tea Situation

[gay-fae]

This post is a relic

[im-a-sokka-for-you-ooh]

Me seeing this for the 14th time in my 5 years on tumblr and seeing more notes and comments but still reblogging it since it’s literally a World Heritage Post

[heritage-post]

date of origin: November 5th, 2013

[apieters]

The legend has crossed my dash.

[fangirltothefullest]

Sometimes Brits forget that a massive portion of America has A LOT OF HEAT. There is no question if you live in the south you need cold drinks, and I know the weather is getting hotter over there too- maybe try the iced tea my good dudes.

[swimmingblue]

even in Canada, land of the notorious cold, we drink cold stuff in the summer. You see a switch from hot drinks to cold drinks (iced tea/coffee, soft drinks, etc.) in the early summer when it starts getting hot, and a switch from cold drinks to hot drinks (hot tea/coffee, etc.) between Labor Day and Halloween when it starts cooling off.

[flavoracle]

Mental Crop Rotation

When farmers grow the same crop too many years in a row, it can leave their soil depleted of minerals and other nutrients that are vital to the health of their fields.

To avoid this, farmers will often alternate the crops that they grow because some plants will use up different minerals (such as nitrogen) while other plants replenish those minerals. This process is known as “crop rotation.”

So the next time you find that you need to step away from a project to work on something else for a while, don’t beat yourself up for “quitting” that project. Give yourself permission to practice “mental crop rotation” to maintain a healthy brain field.

Because I’ve found that when that unnecessary guilt and pressure are removed from the process, a good mental crop rotation can help you feel more energized and invigorated than ever once you’re ready to rotate back to that project.

[bomberqueen17]

: A crucial part of crop rotation is that the field is let fallow sometimes. You plant what’s called a “cover crop”, which is something you don’t expect to harvest– it’s there for its roots to hold the soil in place, and often it’ll be what’s called a nitrogen-fixer, i.e. a plant that can pull nitrogen out of the air and fix it into the soil with its roots (but sometimes it won’t, sometimes it’s really just there to shelter the soil surface), and then you’ll till in that cover crop, or let the frost kill it and the stalks lie as mulch, and then you’ll rotate productive crops back into that field the next season. 

It’s important, though, to understand that during the fallow period, no nutrients are removed from that ground, and nothing is expected of it. Whatever the land grows then, it keeps, and it gets tilled back in or decomposes in place, to return its energy to the earth.

We’re not allowed, in our current society, to just let our minds be fallow for a bit, to produce nothing for export, to make nothing that can be sold. But it’s part of good land stewardship, to give every field time when it doesn’t need to give you anything back. 

So yes, grow and produce different things from time to time, rotate them around your mind and exercise different mental muscles, take different things from your creative processes, yes– but also, give yourself a fallow spell now and again, and let the field of your mind grow things for itself to keep, to break down and save for later. 

[highvelocitysandwich]

Positive mental health AND agriculture??!?

*slams reblog button*

[any-mouse]

@wuxiaphoenix

@secret-engima

[secret-engima]

true this. I need to be better at remembering it.

[koujialone]

It’s Danny Phantom cosplay photo story! Hope you like it! As Danny Phantom: Kouji Alone(me)  koujialone.deviantart.com As Evil Doctor: Tachi Ph: Ovsyan  instagram.com/pollypwnz/  vk.com/ovsyan_ph Thanks Kai for help and Joe for the slime!

[selenedreamwalker]

Dude, this is absolutely unreal. You're so good at this I thought I'd missed somebody doing a Live Action DP thing.

[powerfulwizard]

i love in fantasy when its like “king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous”

[feynites]

When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed ‘Evil Chancellor Traytor’. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, ‘chancellor’ just came with the word ‘evil’ in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition. Like ‘grand’ or ‘high’ or something along those lines.

Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancellor Traytor, who basically comported himself like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called ‘the kingslayer’.

The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that broken toys had access to mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half the ‘settlement’ in my sister and I’s closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched up by the dog.

The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the ‘evil’ in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler - or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people.

But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader; because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the ‘machinery of politics’ working as smoothly as ever.

Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary, in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he’d done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don’t know why but we got the biggest kick out of being like:

Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can’t the king see how wicked he is?!

Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char!

Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king’s back, we’ll know where to look!

Evil Chancellor Traytor’s Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn’t looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs… *insert iconic evil laugh*

Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom’s cleaning sprees, and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and I’s games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special ‘episode’ where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor’s diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that ‘Traytor’s grave would have a body’ (this seemed very important for some reason).

And then we had the Quest For a New King. Somehow or another that ended up being a giant rubber snake called ‘Tyrant King Cobra’.

[callmebliss]

::closes tab, shuts off computer, and proceeds to have the best day ever just by knowing this exists::

[fierceawakening]

i will always reblog Evil Chancellor Traytor

[socialmaya]