can we somehow get jason over to the league of assassins early? just skip ethiopia and dying to the joker, i want him there at like. age 10 at most. i want little kid jason with baby damian. just this small sassy street kid randomly tugging an infant child around the desert, cursing ra’s out and yapping to all the guards 24/7. following talia around like a duckling and telling her that ‘she can do way better than batman, seriously, he’s such a big boob!’
im just saying baby!jason being indoctrinated into the al ghul family is. a severely under-explored option and im very sad i dont see stuff about it more. plus it makes damian and jason going to gotham so much fucking funnier.
~
batman, upon coming across the red hood on patrol with damian: wait. do you two know each other?
robin: uh, yes? father, this is my brother that i told you about, who came to gotham with me to keep an eye on me.
red hood: sup.
batman, watching jason take off his helmet and hold out a hand:
batman:
batman: wait.
batman: didn’t you jack my tires like eight years ago?
robin: ?
red hood, without missing a beat: i don’t know what you’re talking about. talia birthed me and i’d never left the compound until a month ago.
"Getting into this hobby is actually super cheap and easy!!!! First, start with a section of land and a house that you own and can mess up at your discretion"
The original inspiration for this is that I've looked up a lot of basic woodworking stuff multiple times to try and make better and better tortoise enclosures, and ended up in this trap every time lmao
the secret is that people who have a garage with a table saw are constantly looking for reasons to justify that use of space and money. so if you find somebody with a table saw and ask if you can use it, you're actually doing them a huge favor by justifying the saw continuing to take up space. "of course I need a table saw. what if somebody needs to upgrade a turtle enclosue."
Tony: Listen, kid, as fun as it is to spend all day in the labs, running a company requires more than just fun.
Tony: There's a lot of paperwork involved, especially during tax season. The legal department goes crazy, and the days consist of nothing but spreadsheets, forms, and meetings with auditors, especially with a company like ours that funds superheroes.
Tony: So, for the next few weeks until tax season is over, I want you to sit by my side at meetings and take notes, see if you can help Pepper with anything, and make sure you call Happy if it looks like she's going to kill someone.
Peter: Okay Mr. Stark, I just have one question.
Tony: Tell me
Peter: Why?
Tony: What do you mean by "Why?"
Peter: Why would I be helping out during tax season? Isn't that for staff members? Mr. Stark, my internship here isn't even real.
Tony: You're aware that we're paying you, right? That technically makes it a job.
Peter: Do they pay me?!
Tony: Yep, kid. Why do you think I brought all those documents to your aunt's apartment? You work here, and most of your lab creations are patented by Stark Industries.
Peter: I thought we were just playing around
Tony: With multi-million dollar technology?
Peter: You're rich!
Tony: Well, fair, but you still have to do your part. Pepper says I can't just show you the fun side of the business anymore if I'm going to leave the company to you someday.
Peter: Wait, what? No! Why would he leave the company to me?!
Tony: Kid, we've been seen together repeatedly, everyone knows you're my protégé. Why wouldn't I let you have my company?
Peter "I'm Dick Grayson's son" Parker: Well...
What do you think? I was inspired by the fanfic "The Children Yearn for Spreadsheets" by tsaiibii from Ao3
Ive never read that fic but that seems funny. Tony fully planning to leave his company to this kid but said kid already has rich family, and is technically a Wayne, just generally kept out of public eye.
… no capes au where seeing eye dog krypto and his human Clark meet therapy/emotional support dog ace and his human Bruce. Just a sweet little au with no angst
Based on a convo I had with @purrliacci yesterday.
Krypto's tail wagged, thumping against Clark's leg as he spotted Ace and his human Bruce entering the park.
Clark let out an amused breathe, placing a hand on Krypto's head to scratch behind one of his ears. "You see something, boy?" Clark asked and Krypto yipped in confirmation.
"Hey," Bruce said. Krypto could see the smallest bit of tension in Bruce's should and Ace did too from the way he pressed himself against Bruce's leg.
Clark smiled up in his direction. "Hi, Bruce," in that tone of voice he only used for Bruce.
"I got you something," Bruce said as he sat down and pulled out a book covered in those little bumps humans called braille from the bag slung over his shoulder.
"What is it?" Clark asked, closing the book on his lap to give Bruce his full attention.
"Here, feel."
Bruce passed to book to Clark who ran his fingertips over the cover, breath catching. "This is… the next in the series. How did you find it?"
The tension seeped from Bruce's shoulders, a small smile appearing on his face. "I have my ways," he said, leaning back against the bench.
Clark flipped the book open the first page, exploring with his fingers until he paused. "It's hand bound."
Bruce didn't say anything.
"Bruce," Clark said, voice soft and awed as he held the book close to his chest. Krypto wagged his tail again.
Ace huffed as he finally settled down at his human's feet. "So that's what he was doing all week."
Krypto's tail picked up in pace, his tongue rolling out of his mouth happily. "I think they really like eachother."
Ace looked at him like he thought Krypto was a bit slow. He was used to getting that look, especially from Streaky. "Bruce wants to be his mate."
Krypto tilted his head, one ear perked. "How do you know?"
"He talks about him the same way he used to talk about the Cat Lady."
"Who's the Cat Lady?"
"Doesn't matter," Ace said, scanning the park one final time before resting his head on his paws and closing his eyes. "They were never mates for long. I only brought her up because Alfred keeps talking about 'dates' and I know that's what they did when they were mates.
"I've never been on a date.
Ace opened an eye to stare at him. "What makes you think we can come?"
Krypto froze, his tail flopping down sadly behind him. "What?"
"I wasn't allowed to go when it was the Cat Lady."
"But… but I have to go…" Krypto said, his ears drooping. Who would guide Clark through crowds or let him know when there was a step ahead, or help him cross the street? Krypto didn't like the idea of his human going out without him.
"Relax," Ace hissed. "I don't like it anymore than you do but I'm sure they can take care of each other. The Cat Lady always protected Bruce on their 'dates'."
He wanted to argue - because how could Krypto know Clark was safe when he wasn't there to make sure he was? - but before he could his ears perked at the sound of Clark's laugh. He turned to look at his human.
Clark had moved closer to Bruce who was looking at him with a small smile on his face and soft eyes.
…Maybe Ace was right, maybe they could look after each other. Krypto still wasn't sure if he liked it but as long as Clark was happy he told himself it would all be okay.
omega batman forgetting to wear the underwear/crotch protection over his suit and practically matching with flash’s costume, with only his cape to cover his ass, still ends up distracting everyone at the justice league meeting. especially an alpha superman, who’s rut happens to be coming sooner than usual. (thanks to batman.)
“our latest meeting, regarding our mission, i wanted to share some new information regarding the group we fought. nightwing had found—“ batman speaks, holding a holographic notepad, projecting onto the board behind him. he feels a bunch of stares, especially on his lower body. he’s also smelling a certain someone’s pheromones, specifically ones that smell good. if they get any stronger, they might send him into preheat (like they usually do). superman’s scent reminds him of an autumn evening, specifically out on the farm. or oak barrels full of burgundy, stored for thousands of years somewhere deep inside a basement. faint smells of wheat, fresh air, and a hint of baby shampoo. the scent warms batman’s heart, and almost makes him sigh in happiness.
looking up, the eyes dart away, and someone actually pretends to whistle. superman continues to look, before he notices the silence and makes eye contact with batman. his cheeks flush and he opens his mouth to explain himself. batman raises an eyebrow, squinting his eyes towards him. the action makes superman more nervous, stuttering as he explains himself.
“b-b, i—“
“what’s the issue?” batman cuts him off, beginning to set the notes down.
“n-n-nothing! just an off day. all-all of us didn’t sleep well. r-ight guys?” superman sputters, stopping him, looking at the other members. the members, still not really paying attention that much, begin to nod in fake agreement. their eyes keep darting down and up on batman. superman nods for batman to continue, smiling at him.
batman rolls his eyes, ignoring the flutters in his stomach from superman’s adorable smile, and decides to get this over with. throughout the meeting, he notices the stares continue, and especially notices the lack of sarcastic remarks from green lantern. whenever he turns around to point out something, it’s like the ac blows higher than normal and the wind makes his cape blow in the wind, showing off his muscular back, gorgeous ass, and toned thighs. seriously, if they wanted to know his leg routine they can just ask. why go through all this trouble? they’re in space for gods sake, obviously the sudden wind is going to be noticeable. also, why is superman showing signs of going into a pre-rut?
superman, as soon as the scent hits him, feels his hands grip tighter, starting to dig into his palm. he lets out a deep exhale, before taking in a deep breath. his body shivers, and he feels himself start to salivate. what is that absolute delicious scent? it’s like batman’s normal scent, but doubled, is it possible that when flash ran over to turn the fan on, his scent blockers let out more of his pheromones that he usually hides? superman feels himself start to succumb to his alpha desires. no wonder batman hides his scent if it smells like this. superman feels a low growl come out, and he immediately covers his mouth to silence it.
Tuvok & Janeway are the kind of friends who can just make out with each other for a scheme and it means nothing to them.
And Tuvok is so ride or die for Janeway that he’ll do it without protest, despite how:
1. He doesn’t want to make out in public. He’s a reserved Vulcan man, damn it!
2. He’s MARRIED
3. He’s a telepath from a race that tries to suppress emotions and act from logic, and he’s having to get a head full of JANEWAY, who is… Very much not a calm emotionless person. He probably has to take the mental equivalent of a long shower every time she pulls this kind of trick and fills his head with her nonsense.
#okay i love this but im sorry i gotta disagree#Tuvok puts up a good front as being an Excellent Vulcan ™️#but that motherfucker is ride or die for Thee most chaotic human and you don’t think that says something about him????#hello?? he could have stayed faaaarrr away from janeway but instead#he’s her chief of security BEFORE voy then becomes a spy and ends up in the delta quadrant and the first chance he gets#he basically “bitch you thought”s the dude he was literally planning to betray already#he backs some of janeways most unhinged plans#lets her (vulcan equivalent) suck face on the bridge when at least a good chunk#of the crew knows exactly what that means in vulcan even if its a joke like come on#stoic vulcan my ass tuvok would read Spock for filth when it comes to pretending to be emotionally distant#while actually being feral for his human(s)#anyway tuvok is absolutely unhinged for a vulcan but no one actually believes that because he’s#just Better At It than Spock i will die on this hill
Bruce is from a wealthy, close to noble, family. He runs away after finding out he's going to be married off to Duke Luthor, to ensure the continuation of the Wayne line and the prosperity of Gotham Bay.
Bruce joins a trade ship that gets attacked by the ex naval captain branded Pirate Kal El, aboard the Krypton. Kal El recognizes Luthor's runaway bride and takes him, making him his cabin boy in name and pet in practice.
i wanted to know if you like steven universe??? just curious bc we have quite a few fandoms in common, and i just watched one of the more emotional eps
oh yea for sure. do u wanna see some of my gem ocs?
Proustite is my figurative white whale of a gemstone - ruby red with actual silver inclusions that make it redder than red, it turns black when faced with UV, so it's only ever kept in black boxes and briefly displayed. She's a fan of tech and often has to apply screen dimming film to her computers so she continue to play online games uninterrupted.
Abalone, who's seven feet tall and craves compliments like crazy is based off the abalone pearl - often distorted and misshaped, but with undeniable beauty in their colors. "Abba" was from a pearl making facility that had shut down, but due to a minimal power surge, the pearl replication device layered and re-layed over and over as power surges continued.
then we have my fun monster of the hour, "Zultanite"/"Jasper"
who is manufactured from several gem shards before the series super got into it - depending on which way the gemstone is facing is indicative of which shard of the gemstone is in control, so it's usually DB Jasper or Zultanite, as they're the largest chunks.
they have a weird internal situationship going on.
featuring Zultanite, Dragon's blood jasper, bloodstone, pyrite, and a star sapphire
and of course what's SU-ocs without a diamond to fuck with
she was hugely defective (as her gem placement settled where her left arm should be and notably ISN'T) and ended up being cast down onto Earth to die when the cluster would inevitably hatch. Instead she's chillin' and has a lot of girlfriends. Proustite and her are gamer gfs
aaand my main girl, Nuummite.
she has a lot of found family shit going on. There's a bunch of other Gems I didn't show who I haven't drawn in.... YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS, this is all stuff from the last 4~ years
They now have a bracelet they can't remove that when they say a certain phrase will force have them do a lil transformation dance, and then they become magical girl, which obviously means glitter lasers, super strength speed and flight, super long hair, and no one recognizing you unless you tell them, because magical girl logic.
If you want to do a touch of horror/more mortification for them, it has an effect on their minds just mildly to make them cheery and occasionally say things that are out of character for them but perfectly fit your typical magical girl. They're embarrassed by the stuff the mid level mental compulsion has them wanting to say. They're like "So cheery and glitter power of friendship sparkles uwu magic. *shudders*" lol
Batman and Red Hood are fighting again and some Gothamite magic user is suck of it, so he takes the stupid power bracelet he inherited and curses it. The moment it touches Red Hood it locks around his wrist.
When the full moon hits he's still stuck in the manor under observation. He screams as he's morphed into a girl in a skimpy outfit with a rainbow flame staff, mind going hazy.
Oh! So much evil. This calls for the Moon Princess!
The "YES!" I screamed scared even me. If it wasn't Jason I would've cried then died. 🤣🔥🤣🔥🤣
--
At least she got to keep her leather jacket and red domino. Her black combat boots had red ribbons now, but aside from her uniform being scarlet red and way more form-fitting than before, and her guns being replaced with a rainbow flame staff, Jasyn could work with this. "I think we'll have better results out in the field, B." She flipped her now much, much longer hair over her shoulder. "Ooh, it's so soft!" Jasyn ran a hand through her hand and lightly tugged on her bangs; at least the only change was the length--she actually liked her white bangs. "I can feel the darkness beyond the cave. Gotham needs us, B. Can't you imagine it, Batman and Phoenix-Feather cleansing the city of evil!"
Bruce sat at the Batcomputer outside the quarantine glass with Dick and Tim on either side of him. "How long has Jay been like this?" Dick walked around the glass and stared at Jasyn. "How about a team-up with Nightwing instead? Would that be okay?"
"The second the bracelet latched on. And don't tease her." Bruce typed at his computer and tuned out Jay's pleading to fight crime. His eyes slid over to Tim. "Put the staff down."
"It's keyed to Jay. I'm surprised it's tangible and didn't vanish since she's not holding it anymore," Tim observed. He spun the staff like a tall baton and bonked himself on the top of his head. "Ow."
"Please!" Jasyn stomped her feet indignantly and slapped her open palms against the glass. "I have to reclaim this city or my life's purpose will go unfulfilled!" She pouted at that back of Bruce's head. Jasyn took several steps back, closed her eyes, and concentrated. "You can't stop me from my mission, Bruce."
Tim yelped as the rainbow staff grew hotter in his grasp and he nearly dropped it.
Jasyn opened her eyes and they were a shimmering rainbow. Her staff flew from Tim's hands and shattered the quarantine glass. A blinding light flared to life in the Batcave, and when it dimmed Jasyn stood before her family fully transformed. Her new uniform was now a flowing and fiery princess gown, high heels, and rainbow ribbons undulated from her flowing hair. Her brown leather jacket was now majestic wings. "I am a phoenix and I will see the sin of Gotham burned away. Stand in my way again, and you'll be purged with the rest of the filth." Jasyn slammed her staff down, and a ring of rainbow fire erupted from her.
Bruce had spun in his chair and jumped to his feet when he felt the shift in the air. He shielded Dick and Tim with his cape the second Jasyn started her tirade, and after the rainbow fire vanished, the Bat and his sons took in the damage left in Jasyn's wake. The shattered glass was a melted mass on the floor and dying rainbow embers floated in air. Bruce checked over his boys first, and then he turned back to his computer. Whatever information he'd typed up about Jason's transformation and the Gothamite responsible for it had been erased. The rainbow fire could affect electronics too. Damn. He tapped the comm. in his ear and released an uneasy breath. "Kal, I need you. It's Jason."
I was kinda surprised to see you make Jason jasyn, but I can't tell if it's that she was made that way from the partial transformation, or if this is just a "they were born different gender" situation to make magical girl fit. Either way I love it.
I'm glad you like it, 🥰! Jasyn is basically the magical girl aspect that's been created/combined with the spirit in the bracelet. Like how back in the early 00's when we thought the Sailor Starlights were boys that turned into girls due to bad translation and not just girls the whole time. So full body transformation and Jason becomes Jasyn, a completely different and female person. A conduit of the bracelet's power made manifest.
Debating about making more jewelry to magical girl all the Robins??? Don't ask why but my brain went Beyblade/the four guardians of the cardinal directions of Chinese mythology and thought of blue dragon, white tiger, and black tortoise jewelry for Dick and Tim and Dami. Your thoughts???
They now have a bracelet they can't remove that when they say a certain phrase will force have them do a lil transformation dance, and then they become magical girl, which obviously means glitter lasers, super strength speed and flight, super long hair, and no one recognizing you unless you tell them, because magical girl logic.
If you want to do a touch of horror/more mortification for them, it has an effect on their minds just mildly to make them cheery and occasionally say things that are out of character for them but perfectly fit your typical magical girl. They're embarrassed by the stuff the mid level mental compulsion has them wanting to say. They're like "So cheery and glitter power of friendship sparkles uwu magic. *shudders*" lol
Batman and Red Hood are fighting again and some Gothamite magic user is suck of it, so he takes the stupid power bracelet he inherited and curses it. The moment it touches Red Hood it locks around his wrist.
When the full moon hits he's still stuck in the manor under observation. He screams as he's morphed into a girl in a skimpy outfit with a rainbow flame staff, mind going hazy.
Oh! So much evil. This calls for the Moon Princess!
The "YES!" I screamed scared even me. If it wasn't Jason I would've cried then died. 🤣🔥🤣🔥🤣
--
At least she got to keep her leather jacket and red domino. Her black combat boots had red ribbons now, but aside from her uniform being scarlet red and way more form-fitting than before, and her guns being replaced with a rainbow flame staff, Jasyn could work with this. "I think we'll have better results out in the field, B." She flipped her now much, much longer hair over her shoulder. "Ooh, it's so soft!" Jasyn ran a hand through her hand and lightly tugged on her bangs; at least the only change was the length--she actually liked her white bangs. "I can feel the darkness beyond the cave. Gotham needs us, B. Can't you imagine it, Batman and Phoenix-Feather cleansing the city of evil!"
Bruce sat at the Batcomputer outside the quarantine glass with Dick and Tim on either side of him. "How long has Jay been like this?" Dick walked around the glass and stared at Jasyn. "How about a team-up with Nightwing instead? Would that be okay?"
"The second the bracelet latched on. And don't tease her." Bruce typed at his computer and tuned out Jay's pleading to fight crime. His eyes slid over to Tim. "Put the staff down."
"It's keyed to Jay. I'm surprised it's tangible and didn't vanish since she's not holding it anymore," Tim observed. He spun the staff like a tall baton and bonked himself on the top of his head. "Ow."
"Please!" Jasyn stomped her feet indignantly and slapped her open palms against the glass. "I have to reclaim this city or my life's purpose will go unfulfilled!" She pouted at that back of Bruce's head. Jasyn took several steps back, closed her eyes, and concentrated. "You can't stop me from my mission, Bruce."
Tim yelped as the rainbow staff grew hotter in his grasp and he nearly dropped it.
Jasyn opened her eyes and they were a shimmering rainbow. Her staff flew from Tim's hands and shattered the quarantine glass. A blinding light flared to life in the Batcave, and when it dimmed Jasyn stood before her family fully transformed. Her new uniform was now a flowing and fiery princess gown, high heels, and rainbow ribbons undulated from her flowing hair. Her brown leather jacket was now majestic wings. "I am a phoenix and I will see the sin of Gotham burned away. Stand in my way again, and you'll be purged with the rest of the filth." Jasyn slammed her staff down, and a ring of rainbow fire erupted from her.
Bruce had spun in his chair and jumped to his feet when he felt the shift in the air. He shielded Dick and Tim with his cape the second Jasyn started her tirade, and after the rainbow fire vanished, the Bat and his sons took in the damage left in Jasyn's wake. The shattered glass was a melted mass on the floor and dying rainbow embers floated in air. Bruce checked over his boys first, and then he turned back to his computer. Whatever information he'd typed up about Jason's transformation and the Gothamite responsible for it had been erased. The rainbow fire could affect electronics too. Damn. He tapped the comm. in his ear and released an uneasy breath. "Kal, I need you. It's Jason."
every time this post comes around, my favorite part is the “I know it’s the Mets” qualifier at the beginning lmao like how baseball that this zillion note posts starts with “sorry for putting this hellteam on your dash, bUT”
personally my favorite thing about Mr. Bird Evaporator is this
imagine being the poor fool tryna rob this man’s house only to be instantly transported to the same dimension as that bird
