Everything the light touches here is trash.

| Amanda 🐈🐾| cat mom | she/her | SVU addict | multi-fandom |

[bixbiboom]

[ID: A total of eight tweets from Taliesin Jaffe @.executivegoth which together read: “2020 is almost over and I feel I have something to get off my chest: I didn't get better. I didn't get healthier in mind or body. I didn't create, I didn't grow, and I didn't accomplish. It's fair to say I'm less together than I was this time last year by almost every metric. But I DID survive. and you know what? I'm happy to come to terms with that. Survival is absolutely enough. I'm learning to be more than good with that and I feel like you should be too. Seriously, well fucking done. I've many friends who've made huge strides. Solitude has given them time to accomplish goals of self improvement, creative output, or career advancement. Sometimes all three. THANK THE GODS. We're going to be relying on healthy people in the months ahead. Some friends have dealt with so much. Loss of health, loss of family. Some have slipped back into bad habits, or lost employment. And these experiences just WRECK you. I worry for friends in film, games, STEM, public service. Hell, friends who lost jobs at Disneyland. it's awful. Almost universally, these amazing people beat themselves up for lamenting their own pain when so many others are doing so much worse. It so hard for us to remember that neither success nor failure are a contest. Most people can't even agree on how to measure these concepts. As for next year; I've always hated the metaphor of the light at the end of the tunnel. Most change I've experienced in my life didn't happen in a day, and when it did it was usually less life altering then the change that took months. The road ahead is long. We're gonna need marathon runners, not sprinters. Accept help when offered. Offer help when (and only when) you have the bandwidth. We need you healthy. I've seen in my own life how much greater a force for good I can be when I have my shit kinda together. The real change I've observed in my life is less like a tunnel and more like a car heater. You turn it on and wait patiently to slowly feel your fingers. With that said, Happy New Year everyone, just two more months of winter. Let's get this '88 Corolla engine of a year idling.” /end ID]

[violetsyrenart]

All of Vox Machina together in one post! Should I do the Mighty Nein next?

[brassparker]

Why is Pine the Best White Chris™️

ok now let me give you the bulletpoints about one Mr. Christopher Whitelaw Pine and how he became the Best White Chris™️

He’s the most self-aware of the Chrises and checks his privilege on the regular. So much so that 3 years ago on this site, I declared he was gonna be the first white male star to work with Ava DuVernay. The Indie Spirit gods just told me in that moment.

He seeks out feminist material to work in.

He looks like a hot, deranged professor on the regular.

He has a degree in English from Berkley, where he wrote nonsensical poetry and took an erotic fiction writing class, where word on the street his stories were GOOD.

He owns a flip phone and eats his food like a 5 year old.

His pants are forever too tight.

He’s blind as hell.

He stays dressing like DiCaprio in Romeo + Juliet.

Dude collects blankets and uses big ass words for no reason.

He wears a pinky ring and can actually pull it off.

THE GREY IN HIS BEARD

His adorkable 12 year old ass wrote this letter to Premiere Magazine  about wanting to be Kristy Swanson’s sidekick if she didn’t have a boyfriend.

His underwear bulge in Unstoppable.

Hell or High Water. The Princess Diaries 2. 

He got a black eye from Idris Elba during filming Star Trek 3, and he was so proud that he wanted to flaunt that shit.

This: 

He lived down Just My Luck

Whatever good-good he was giving Olivia Munn back in the day that made me stop and go “Oh word?”

He got nominated for an Emmy, and no one ever talked about it.

I sat through a film called Blind Dating because of him.

His haircut in Wonder Woman.

That concludes this TED Talk.

[brassparker]

Update:

All other white Chrises are invalid!

[brassparker]

Another update:

The directors He and Patty Jenkins chose for I Am The Night are *chef’s kiss*

[brassparker]

Update #3:

He will never be defeated!

[brassparker]

Update #4:

We love a man who supports small businesses during the pandemic and wears his face mask properly. Also, the amount of books in that bag is erotic.

[cj-26]

Katya Zamolodchikova | Read U Wrote U | RPDR All Stars 2

[penny-anna]

Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

[penny-anna]

~*~earlier~*~

Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits

Merry: Frodo what’d he say

Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish

Merry: I mean you could do that but consider

Merry: you can only tell him ONCE

Frodo: Merry. You’re absolutely right. I’ll wait.

[penny-anna]

#legolas’ hick accent vs #frodo’s ‘i learned it out of a book’ accent #FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible

Aragorn: *hollering from a distance* HIS ACCENT IS BETTER THAN YOURS LEGOLAS YOU SILVAN HICK

Frodo: :)

[storywonker]

Frodo: Hello. My name is Frodo. I am a Hobbit. How are you?

Legolas: y’alld’ve’ff’ve

Frodo, crying: please I can’t understand what you’r saying

[ramshacklefey]

Ok, but Frodo didn’t just learn out of a book. He learned like… Chaucerian Elvish. So actually:

Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions.

Legolas: Wots that mate? ‘Ere, you avin’ a giggle? Fookin’ ‘obbits, I sware.

Aragorn: *laughing too hard to walk*

[reformedkingsmanagent]

@ghostriderofthearagon

[cryptidscrypticcrosswordclub]

dYinGggGggg…

[whetstonefires]

i mean, honestly it’s amazing the Elves had as many languages and dialects as they did, considering Galadriel (for example) is over seven thousand years old.

english would probably have changed less since Chaucer’s time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things.

they’ve had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max. frodo’s books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the dialect represented in them isn’t likely to be older than the Second Age, wherein Aragorn’s foster-father Elrond started out as a very young adult and grew into himself, and Legolas’ father was born.

so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we can’t really tell because there weren’t years to count, before the Trees were destroyed.

plus a lot of Bilbo’s materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didn’t establish Imladris until after the Last Alliance. and Elrond isn’t the type to intentionally help Bilbo learn the wrong dialect and sound sillier than can be helped, even if everyone was humoring him more than a little.

so Frodo might sound hilariously formal for conversational use (though considering how most Elves use Westron he’s probably safe there) and kind of old-fashioned, but he’s not in any danger of being incomprehensible, because elves live on such a ridiculous timescale.

[whetstonefires]

to over-analyse this awesome and hilarious post even more, legolas’ grandfather was from linguistically stubborn Doriath and their family is actually from a somewhat different, higher-status ethnic background than their subjects.

so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old-fashioned speaking tics in his Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriathrin-influenced Western Sindarin that became the most widely spoken Sindarin long before he was born, or he might have a School Voice from having been taught how to Speak Proper and then lapse into really obscure colloquial Avari dialect when he’s being casual. or both!

considering legolas’ moderately complicated political position, i expect he can code-switch.

…it’s also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didn’t learn as a kid.

which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and they’re just standing there on the beach reduced to miming about what is the short beard person, and who are you, and why.

this is elvish dialects and tolkien, okay. there’s a lot of canon material! he actually initially developed the history of middle-earth specifically to ground the linguistic development of the various Elvish languages!

[bowditch]

Legolas: Alas, verily would I have dispatched thine enemy posthaste, but y’all’d’ve pitched a feckin’ fit.

Aragorn: *eyelid twitching*

[linguisticparadox]

Frodo: *frantically scribbling* Hang on which language are you even speaking right now

Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish?

Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit?

Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbits’ weird dialect this whole time: That’s what it sounds like to me.

Merry, who actually knows some shit about Hobbit background: We are actually speaking multiple variants of the Shire dialect of Westron, you ignorant fuck.

Sam, a mere working-class country boy: Honestly y'all could be talkin Dwarvish half the time for all I know.

[sainamoonshine]

Pippin, entering Gondor and speaking to the castle steward: hey yo my man

Boromir, from beyond the grave: j e s u s

[esser-z]

Tolkien would be SO PROUD of this post

[sunny-dayze]

@words-writ-in-starlight

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

If I remember correctly, in the “tree of tongues” material from The Lost Road, Tolkien goes into some detail about how the reason elves have so many dialects is that elves view language as a form of collaborative art, which they delight in, so a newly-coined word or grammatical construct gets spread around just like a new song would.

Elves may be immortal, but they’re also immortal nerd OCs and we must never forget this

[kittyknowsthings]

Thank you for this addition which is both lovely and educational

[kyraneko]

So what you’re saying is, they’re us. They’re the internet. Sending “yeet” and “smol” and “I lik the bred” all over creation until two elves who’ve never met in their lives and be like “beans, amirite?” and “yeah I love kitter feets too.”

[ekjohnston]

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

[prismatic-bell]

Somewhere in the Grey Havens, Tolkien is reading this post.

He is simultaneously laughing with delight, and utterly PISSED that he can’t reblog with a whole nerdy essay to build on what you’ve all said.

[na-yserin]

@deadcatwithaflamethrower you have probably seen this but it made my morning :D and I hope you enjoy it!

[deadcatwithaflamethrower]

Laughed so hard I was sitting here wheezing when I hit Boromir being embarrassed from the grave.

[kyraneko]

Tolkein maybe can’t reblog with the essay but he can damn sure write it, and it and several additions to it based further down the forthcoming reblog chains and half a dozen entirely new Middle-Earth stories and a couple alternate histories will all be waiting for us when we catch up with him, and then you’ll be able to respond to that desired reblog to your heart’s content.

[hamelin-born]

@elenothar

[amateur]

What’s happening on Twitter? 😂

[ruinedchildhood]

https://twitter.com/smashmouth/status/992478669435060224?s=19

[steampunktallulah]

Love smash mouth

[ryonceagsalud]

What’s going on this year

[ruinedchildhood]

What is happening? 😂

[victorious]

[thefishychicken]

LMAO He just said he does

[ruinedchildhood]

https://twitter.com/TheRock/status/588913900789309440?s=19

[natural--blues]

[imanambulance]

LMAO reblogging again because of 5he sass from dictionary.com 😂😂

[ultracheese]

[awildpaige]

Y'all know when you get wrecked by the damn dictionary you’re a fool

[starsberrisnunicorns]

Never Forget 😂

[usedtobe-a-crazygirlthinking]

The best fucking post on here

[ruinedchildhood]

[trashpandagamer]

IT’S BACK

[boylikeme94]

Thread was missing my fave part.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

MR THE ROCK JOHNSON

[fortzancudo]

i think it’s very brave and sexy of me to still play pokemon games in the exact same way i did when i was 5 years old - ignoring all stat changing moves. this is an offensive move only household. if you effectively stratagise using stat changes in battle Fuck You

[6qubed]

the only stat we care about changing is changing the enemy’s hp stat to zero

[the-elder-beato]

crying at this family portrait posted by nick jr

[everythingsucksbutthatsokay]

I’m fascinated by the implicit lore of different members of this family being tasked with looking after this immortal mystery dog

[tylha]

ok so i screenshotted this moment because i thought it was pretty cool

the first time we get to see all four elements working together for a common enemy, blah blah blah, but i started laughing because

sokka’s fucking boomerang. sokka threw a fucking boomerang at princess azula, renowned lightning bender and heir-apparent to the throne of the fire nation.

and sokka threw a boomerang at her.

[focusas]

I said it once and i say it again.

Azula considered Sokka to be the biggest threat in this group and countered him first. What this picture miss is Sokka sanding nearby. All members of this group unleash their attack at same time, but Azula reacts to boomerang first. If you watch this part in slow motion, you could see that Sokka’s boomerang was the first thing that would hit Azula and may even incapacitate her making her unable to continue to fight. So she had to counter in first. She deflected it with well placed shoot.

Then and only then, when there is no immediate threat, she starts to create her blue fire wall to counter other elements.

Lets think about this. How hard should you have to throw something to make it move faster that any elemental attack? Either all elemental attacks are slow or you are pretty strong. That said nonbenders with good aim and strong hands could easily overpower benders if they timed it right.(Aang got captured by Yuan archers who are all nonbenders.) Azula knew of this and acted according to it. She is talented bender and you may think that she should enlist other benders to help her track and capture Zuko, Iroh, and later avatar, but instead she uses her nonbender friend to help her.

Even if you have no bending you can still fight… and win.

[xenavitani-deactivated20210602]

Let’s not forget that on the Day of Black Sun, Sokka was the one in charge and Azula was no idiot Azula knew that.

When Aang, Sokka, and Toph all confronted Azula, she proceeded to make them chase her and waste their time. Azula is not only talented, she’s sly and smart as hell. WHO WAS THE ONE WHO SAW THROUGH THAT BS CHASE?

Sokka.

NOT ONLY THAT but after Sokka explains to the Gaang that Azula is just baiting them, Azula actually verbally attacks Sokka. Not through fighting, but through words, knowing not only that an intelligent person like him could only be brought down with emotions BUT that Sokka was the leader and if she could get him the stay, Aang and Toph would follow his lead.

Azula knew Sokka was their strength and took him down. WOULD SHE DO THAT IF HE WASNT A SIGNIFICANT THREAT TO HER!!??!

No. She wouldn’t waste her time and energy on someone she didn’t think was capable of actually getting in her way.

WHEN SHE GETS HER FIREBENDING BACK SHE HAS THE OPTION OF ATTACKING BADASS METAL BENDING TOPH AND THE FUCKING AVATAR WHO DOES SHE ATTACK?!?!

Azula never underestimated the power of non benders especially an intelligent one like Sokka. Sokka was a huge threat to fucking Azula on multiple occasions. 

Remember that.

[moomoobooboo-deactivated2020102]

Look at this spot on fucking discourse. LOOK AT IT.

[seyaryminamoto]

Just thought I’d drop this 

into the debate as well, (instead of actually fighting him she backs off, and who blames her? Sokka’s club looks like it could shatter bones…).

Along with this:

Scenes with Azula confronting Sokka are few and far in between but they paint a pretty interesting picture, don’t they? 

[transswordbian]

I mean, Azula’s friends/most trusted warriors were two non-benders. Mai was an expert with thrown weapons and Tai Lee was the only chi blocker shown in the first series, and she was able to take down half a groups of earth nation soldiers like that. Azula knows that non-benders are dangerous and she sees sokka for the genius he is

[avatrashh]

She’s knows she can take bending, she can redirect fire and she’s fought Katara a lot- but unlike Zuko she was probably never trained with weapons, she knows she has no defense to a sword or a club, and she knows that one of Ty Lee’s biggest advantage is that people underestimate her

[kasaron]

Let me sum this up;

It doesn’t matter how much crazy magic bullshit you have, a sword to the face is a sword to the face. 

[christopher-bryant]

remember when sokka cracked zuzu with that same boomerang? got him real good.

[afairfight]

Hasan Minhaj feat. “Okay, but Tan, I’ll look like _____” +

[whyactlikeahuman]

[safeinpeetasarms]

#i literally crack up everytime #at least ten of the notes are from me

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I JUST JOINED THIS GROUP ON FACEBOOK

[one-time-i-dreamt]

This group is amazing

[compassionvi]

Here's the questions you need to answer to join and an excerpt from the rules

[anafigreen]

Caduceus! <3

[catchymemes]

[yourboyfriiend]

tag yourself i’m a sea otter with a friend

[virginiaisforhaters]

im the baby fox in sufjans tourbus 

[tbch-deactivated20200107]

you’re as stress free as a barcardi soaked senitors son on his tri annual hit and run

[survivyng]

prison mike animal crossing recreation 

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

Now obviously John Mulaney has had a profound affect on all our lives, but without a doubt to me one of the most impactful things he has ever said was: “Whatever. This might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird.” That has become one of my guiding life philosophies.