Just an Average Fangirl turned 10 today!
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@witch07
Just an Average Fangirl turned 10 today!
Humans and Traumatic Brain Injury
Hey everyone, sort of wanted to hop on the “Humans are Space Orcs” Bandwagon and give it a shot. Was thinking about all the crazy things that happen to humans that they shouldn’t survive.
Krill had never actually met a human. Of course he had heard about them. As a trauma doctor at the second largest medical facility in the quadrant, they received many visitors, and their stories, from far across the galaxy.
. The humans weren’t a new topic of discussion, they had been around for a while, and were slowly beginning to spread outward from their homeworld.
Every day more and more species were bringing stories of the strange predators. It used to be the stories were told second hand, a friend of a friend sort of thing, but more and more were coming in with supposed stories of personal encounters.
While the humans weren’t a new topic of discussion, they were certainly a popular one. Every week it seemed another visitor was bringing them another thrilling story of the crazy deathworlders.
Krill doubted many of the stories. As s medical professional he relied on hard science fast and was not prone to flights of fancy.
But one faithful solar cycle he witness something that would change his opinion forever.
It was a slow day, most transports and stock ships had transferred out the day before taking crews and accidents along with them.
Krill floated aimlessly through the halls checking on patients and occasionally sending a memo to a colleague. All this was easily done with four independent limbs and four separated cortical hemispheres.
The lights in the building flashed suddenly red. Radio signals pulled against his lateral receptors as he turned to race down the hallway. The radio signals morphed into a voice, “Doctor, we have an emergency SOS from the USS Stabby requesting immediate medical assistance.”
The words used were unfamiliar to Krill as he took the next hallway at speed.
“Species?”
“Scans indicate it is a human freelance ship.”
If it weren’t for his medical training, he might have stopped in shock, “Repeat?”
“Humans. I’m sending a biological map now.”
The radio signals morphed, and the lateral cortical zone of his right posterior unit decoded the image. The human was an odd creature. Ten unit tall bipedal endoskeleton with two attached cortical hemispheres heavily carbon based running by a circulatory pump and a complex set of smooth muscle tubes. With advanced medical training and four cortical hemispheres, he knew enough at that moment to preform most any emergency medical operation necessary.
Upon seeing the biomap, he was almost 100% sure those stories had been false.
Floating to a stop in the main medical unit he waited with two supporting staff as they listened to the roar of the ships engines approach from the sky.
Sanctum’s rings! Their engines were loud.
The doors ahead burst open, and three of the creatures rushed in pushing a fourth in a wheeled chair. Long waves of electromagnetic radiation indicated a burning red color painting the front of the fourth creature.
As a second thought he quickly flipped on his universal translator.
“It’s gonna be alright captain, you’re going to be fine, just don’t move your head.”
Krill quickly noted the universal medical patch on the human’s right upper limb. It must be an emergency if they were forced to bring him planeside, but blocked as he was, he could hardly see the fourth figure painted in slow wave’s neck immobilized by a stiff foam collar. A figure beside was helping to hold the creature in an upright sitting position.
Stopping in the center of the room, the two men moved to make way.
He had never seen a sight so gruesome….. or if he had it had only been during postmortem examinations. He hoped the humans were not capable of picking up the high amplitude shrill he let off upon sight.
The human male sat very still on the chair head tilted slightly back. Blood had dripped from his right ocular socket around the edges of a sharp metal rod protruding from its center.
Around him the other humans were frantic letting out terrified little wales as they looked on.
A couple quick calculations.
The rod would have pierced cortical tissue
The human should be dead.
He had to be. If medical school had taught him anything, it was that brain injury was impossible to survive
Quickly Krill threw off his horror and moved forward expecting to find the human’s circulatory pump nonfunctional, but a quick scan showed the organ to still be pumping and doing so at a slow rather of 66 beats.
How could this be?
“Hey doc?”
Krill nearly leaped from his skin as the human spoke tight lipped and very still other eye opening to roll towards him blurry and out of focus.
Another squeak of horror
“Could you help me out here, I think I got something stuck in my frontal lobe.”
He suddenly didn’t know what to do with his hands. What madness was this! Not only was the human NOT dead, but he was SPEAKING!
Impossible!
“Captain, please, don’t talk.” The other human begged
“Just listen to me for a sec….. and stop freaking out, I’m the one with this damn thing sticking out of my brain….”
The group around him grew quiet.
Krill moved forward. Doing a slow examination.
“Do you feel pain?” He asked in shocked curiosity.
The human’s one good eye squinted thoughtfully, “Um….no.”
“How can….”
The other doctor looked at him, “The human brain can shut off pain when needed. He will feel it more when the shock wears off.”
“You can shut off pain?”
“Thank the Lord.” The eyeless human muttered quietly.
“How did….”
“How did I get an accidental lobotomy?”
“What is a lobotomy?”
“Um we will talk about it later.”
***
Turns out Krill would rather not have known what a lobotomy was…. Barbaric humans.
But still he was fascinated. Never had he met a species that was capable of surviving a brain injury, and surely not one to this magnitude. Any species other than a human would have perished on the instant. The shock of such a trauma alone would have been enough to kill, but instead the human’s brain had shut down the pain and calmed the human even despite the damage.
After treating the wound, Krill had performed a complex surgery to remove the object. The amount of brain damage would have been extensive in any other species, but their ship’s medic seemed relieved upon seeing the images.
The eye socket had been broken, the eye had been mutilated, and the optic nerve had been severed. The human would lose use of that eye, but that didn’t seem to bother the human, it was already functioning with a robotic leg.
Who would have thought the stories were true, who would have thought he would be shipping off with a group of humans in the next week.
Who would have thought the ability of a human to survive traumatic brain injury?
This shit used to hurt me so much. Now when I go shopping I don’t even touch shit unless I know I want it lol cus I know that pain
i’m that person you see folding something and putting it back after i’ve looked at it lol
^^^ And if I can’t fold it back perfectly they’re gonna at least see that I tried.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
All.of.this
Worked in retail almost half a decade, and let me tell y'all this is daily, not just Black Friday or summer sales.
I’ve had people look me straight in the eyes while they knock over a perfectly folded stack of shirts off a table so they could put down their Starbucks cup. People leave food, drinks, diapers, used pads and bandages, even one time an actual syringe on tables.
I’ve had people destroy entire displays and complain about how dirty and “why don’t employees respect their own store” while I was directly next to them frantically trying to fix what they, themselves, just messed up.
This shit is so ingrained in me now that I fixed displays while on vacation in Disney World for a full half hour.
And before anyone says anything, no, actually picking up after grown adults that should know better, it actually isn’t my job to clean up after you all day. We have customer service, check for product, work the registers, keep the bathrooms clean, deal with angry customers, try to prevent shop lifting, and keep the store running. Recovery (fixing displays) is supposed to be low on our list because people aren’t supposed to be selfish shitheads. If you wouldn’t destroy your friend’s house, don’t destroy retail shops.
I’ve literally had people ask me if I work at several stores before because I’m cleaning up after myself??? like they are asking me for help and I’m like “idk I don’t work here” then they are like “then why are you cleaning?”
It’s,,, basic manners,,, to clean after yourself,,, what is wrong with people,,,
I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”
I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments
Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”
My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.
I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.
please give us updates
Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”
And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying.
I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.
op will not die of natural causes
How are penguins not extinct?
I am in tears omg
whoever timed the film to the music is fucking brilliant this is gorgeous and oh my god i know they’re made of a lot of fat/blubber but this gave me like seven heart attacks
Clumsy pillows
I’ve pulled my tshirt up over my face to try and hide the fact that I am crying with laughter on the coach full of people.
The Art of Invisible Movement
Several weeks ago, an aspiring writer asked me what my opinion was on “in-between” scenes — scenes where “nothing happened.” She noted that her favorite scenes in books were often ones where characters were only talking about their lives. How did I recommend including these while maintaining pacing?
I have three thoughts on Nothing scenes.
1. Always Be Mindful of Invisible Movement
I don’t believe in Nothing scenes. I believe in scenes that appear as Nothing scenes to the reader, but are actually full of invisible movement. I have a rule for myself — insofar as I do rules — that every scene should be doing at least two things, preferably three or more, no matter how much it appears to be about merely one.
Here are examples of things scenes can do:
• give backstory
• demonstrate character change
• create a sense of place
• satisfy logistics; i.e. move a character from place A to place B
• establish character
• explain worldbuilding
• move through action sequence
• move external plot forward
• establish dynamic between two characters through conversation or action
It can be tempting to grab just one of those and say DONE. SCENE. GOOD. But efficient storytelling, powerful storytelling, involves doing many of these at one time. A scene may appear to be merely about a character crashing his best friend’s car. But it must also be about his character journey and about his dynamic with another character, all the while pushing the external plot forward. Complexly written, but simple to read: ah yes, these scene where Ronan takes the car.
A Nothing scene might overwhelmingly appear to be merely a conversation, but it needs to be doing heavy lifting in the places in between words. Work in place, backstory, character motivation. Let the unspoken seethe inbetween the spoken. Subtly tie the conversation to the external plot. Why is the conversation happening now? Make sure it references the steps that came before it to make it seem inevitable instead of like an element that can merely lift out and be placed elsewhere without consequence.
What you’re attempting to do is maintain invisible movement. Remind the reader of what is still lurking during this quiet moment. Or remind them that this is the stake: that this quiet moment is what the characters are fighting for. Or situate the quiet moment within a larger, external plot machination, and end the conversation by wrenching them externally according to the plot.
But don’t just let them talk. You can at first. Draft it that way. Be delighted by the quiet conversation you’ve written. But then get back to work. You ain’t done. Push things forward invisibly by having the scene do something else in the background.
2. Earn It
You’ve got to earn all frothy conversations or quiet moments in two ways. First is the rhythm of the thing. It’s like a mix tape. Don’t group all the quiet stuff together, dude! Tense action scenes seem more speedy when interspersed with quiet moments, and vice versa. Earn your quiet moment by putting us through our paces for a bit first.
Second: you’ve got to emotionally earn your quiet moments, your Nothing conversations. You may have been daydreaming of the moment your two characters finally open up and reveal their deepest truths through memes, but if you do it too soon, the scene will feel empty … and slow. Like just a Nothing scene.
An emotional conversation should be a reveal, a satisfying culmination of something half-seen until that moment. Timed correctly, far enough along in the emotional journeys, these conversations will feel like a resting place or a reward instead of a lull.
3. You Can’t Live on Ice Cream Cake, or You Ruin Ice Cream Cake
There’s a reason why a lot of readers think they love Nothing scenes — they mean the scenes mentioned above, quietly emotional scenes placed well within the narrative. They feel amazing! But the chemical make up of these scenes mean that they only work when used sparingly. It’s not the quietness of them that makes them incredible. It’s what had to happen to make the quietness possible. Ice cream cake is special because it’s a rarity, brought out only for special occasions. The same goes for all pleasurable excesses in novel-making: banter, kissing, action sequences, emotional porn. They all need to be used sparingly, and to be placed as a result of story, not instead of it, or you’ll find yourself with a Nothing novel, because ice cream cake for every meal makes it lose its meaning.
The thing to remember about novel writing is that the key to pacing is tension, and tension doesn’t always come from negative consequences. Positive consequences can work just as well (think of it: love stories, exploration narratives, training sequences). Make sure your Nothing scenes maintain invisible movement by continuing to promise some kind of tension, and you’re golden.
Oh yeah, and most important? Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t pull it off in a first draft of a scene. Just because you have to end up with a hard-working scene doesn’t mean you have to be able to juggle all those layers at once. Writing is revision, revision is writing, etc. etc. etc.
Antarctica is about to have its first ever Pride
Antarctica is set to have its first ever Pride event thanks to a group of LGBTQ+ people based in an Antarctic research center.
(images by Planting Peace)
that penguin has never seen so many colors at once and is having the time of their life
A PRIDEGUIN :D
“Wait this, this many colors, this not gray… this beautiful.” That penguin
“Thank u for creating the Rainbow Good Gay Hoomans”
Fun fact, penguins can see colors at least as well as we can, with particular sensitivity to a few different colors and possibly ultraviolet.
So yes, outside of a few exceptional cases of Antarctic fish, these probably are the most colors the penguin has ever seen.
“THIS IS THE BEST THING EEEEEEVER”
IT’S TINY MIND IS BLOWN
literally everything about this makes me so happy that i’m tearing up
Novelist error messages.
Make a Vampire character who’s lived through several waves of the common language’s development and can’t let go if certain gramatical habbits from different time eras.
So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess
… can i use that phrase irl?
Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age internet lingo like all the time.
Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you’re toss’d with. Chill already, you’re not valid.
You are an unrighteous, bastardly gullion. Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too.
I love the idea of a vampire who’s language travels back in time as they get pissed.
I grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito
Reading these is like literary whiplash
Throughly enjoying other restaurants reacting to IHOb
what timeline are we in exactly
What kinda cyberpunk dystopia timeline we in where we find ourselves entertained by corporations?
Probably the worst one because I ain’t a fucking coolass cyborg.
don’t know how to tell you this but when you watch a movie or play a video game you are being entertained by a corporation
leader of a trio of college kids waking past me at walmart: okay. mission number two, finding where the popcorn is.
his friend: wait, what was mission number one?
leader: fucking getting here, travis.
What happens to cats in zero gravity ? more educational gifs«
OH GOD THOSE POOR BABIES i am sobbing i am laughing so hard
In the last pic the cat is all “oh thank god I found ground NO WAIT COME BACK GROUND”
THOSE POOR BABIES OMG WHY AM I LAUGHING AT THIS
Astronaut: We need to fund 1.4 billion dollars. NASA: FOR WHAT?! Astronaut: We want to put kitties in space and have them float around in zero gravity. NASA: Here is all the money. God bless.
Those cats are just ?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!
Cat: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
NASA: fascinating…
I want a story about a king whose son is prophesied to kill him so the king is like “whatever what am I supposed to do, kill my own kid wtf is wrong with you” so he just raises him as normal, doesn’t even tell him about the prophecy, and instead of some convoluted twist of events that leads to the king’s murder the son grows up and when the king is very old and dying and in excruciating pain the kid is just like alright I'mma put him out of his misery.
The king’s son becomes the new king, and is prophesied to defeat evil and bring an age of prosperity. His generals and knights all crack their knuckles but he pretty much ignores them and focuses on strengthening the infrastructure of his kingdom. Forty years later he is old and sick but still hearing his subjects’ grievances, and a general’s like “how will you defeat the prophesied evil now? You’re old and weak.” Another visitor, a teenager fresh out of the kingdom’s public education system, looks at the general like he is an ignoramus. The king eradicated poverty, housed the homeless, taught the ignorant, ended class exploitation by abolishing the nobility and imprisoning the corrupt, and established a highly respected guild of doctors that recently figured out how to cure the plague. There are no brigands because there is enough wealth for everyone to live comfortably; hiding in the woods and taking trinkets from people simply doesn’t make any sense for anyone but the desperate, and the people are not desperate. Evil is a weed, explains the teenager. It grows in cracked roads and crumbling houses and forgotten corners, rooted in indifference and watered by suffering. But the king demands that broken things be mended and suffering people be made well.
No evil lives in this kingdom, says the teenager. It starved to death before I was born.
Every once in a while, when I’m feeling down, I go and look at the notes on this post and they make me feel a lot better. This is the energy I want to carry into 2018.
I love how making of Sense8 is actually much simpler than I thought.
Here’s some more bc why not:
i was never taught the little song about which months have how many days so ive basically just been guessing my whole life
(source)
i’d like to point out that when i made this post, all of these comments were at the top, but now if you look at the thread they’ve been replaced by completely different comments
so please, for the love of god, look at the source link this thread is a neverending source of entertainment. people have added so much fucking shit since i made this
I was proctoring an exam for a student today while reading these, and I had to stop because I got to this one and almost fucking died
these are making my day
Okay, this one’s killing me:
These ones got me: