A year ago today

[spiralfucker]

They found the last golden ticket . So that’s just it then . Fuck my stupid horrible pathetic life. Cabbage soup for dinner again , my stupid mothtsr. Grandpa Joe said he’s sorry but I know he doesn’t really give a fuck . And who gives a fuck about the other three old people in my house . Whatever their names is. Fuck fuck fuck it’s all worthless . They even made fun of me at school for only buying like 3 wonka bars. Nepo pricks . Fuck my stupid life it’s all fucked it’s all fucked . And my last name is bucket

[a-year-ago-2day]

a year ago today

[a-year-ago-2day]

it’s honestly hard to run this blog as a person with dyscalculia

[amberautumnfaebrooke]

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

[sociallyawkwardrevolution]

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

[onlywayin-deactivated20231101]

[wander-in-arda]

I work cybersecurity, this is like half my job.

[fiddlertoad]

the whole vaccine deal tbh

[i-am-emily]

antidepressants

[wizardavid]

Yes these are all the work of wizards

[a-year-ago-2day]

3 (?) years ago today

[things-that-are-not-true]

god paddington looked so cute in this picture if i can be so honest

[a-year-ago-2day]

a year ago today

[fzzzp]

a baby at work the other day gave me the meanest look i've ever seen as it got lifted out of a cesarean. 1 second old and already hating. you can't teach that.

[argumate]

I appreciate the way hitting the word "cesarean" forces me to go back and reevaluate the earlier phrase "at work"

[a-year-ago-2day]

2 years ago today

[charlesoberonn]

Which path should he choose?

The path of the warrior, the path of the scholar, or the path of the artist?

[moonimbued]

he should wander away and have a picnic while he thinks about what path to choose

[charlesoberonn]

Great idea! But where should he have the picnic?

Under the tree, or under the old fort?

[acatdisguisedasahuman]

By the sea, so he can enjoy the sound of the waves

[charlesoberonn]

A lovely choice!

Should he build a sandcastle to pass the time? Or perhaps go fishing?

[cynicallyaestetic]

Perhaps he could collect shells he finds interesting

[charlesoberonn]

Sounds fun!

Which shell should he pick up?

[anjing-jam]

This one

[charlesoberonn]

That's not a shell, it's a tiny earpiece.

Should he listen to music? Or to the mysterious pre-recorded message?

[sar-kalu]

He should give it back to the crab in the largest shell, they thought they had lost their wave-pod and are grateful he found it!

[charlesoberonn]

The crab wants to give a gift in return.

Should he accept the gift of power, or the gift of knowledge?

[sunw00d]

the gift of friendship :)

[charlesoberonn]

Friendship acquired!

Should they celebrate with pizza or ice cream?

[valentineish]

The crab friend cannot eat either of those! Let's split a nice seaweed salad instead. :)

[charlesoberonn]

So many options!

Should they get tossed salad, wiggly salad, or spiky salad?

[frescopino]

Seasar salad

[charlesoberonn]

Nothing beats getting it straight from the source

Should they use scissors or claws to cut the seaweed?

[somethingmissingthiswaycomes]

What about that sword in the first panel?

[charlesoberonn]

The circle is complete.

Through choices, friendship, and salad, he found his way to the path of the warrior. But he won't walk it alone.

Their path is just beginning, but this story is over.

Thank you to everyone who participated!

[haltraveler]

This is somehow both the epitome and antithesis of "yes, and" and it FASCINATES me

[charlesoberonn]

"No, and"

[kiragecko]

My son's response:

i liked it so much like how you went with what they said even though it was'nt one of the intended options and how it went full circle and it was great

I agree!

[a-year-ago-2day]

3 years ago today

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the garlic. it beckons you

[dragon-in-a-fez]

perfect new meme template just dropped

[dragon-in-a-fez]

example usage

[dragon-in-a-fez]

wait I'm not done

[a-year-ago-2day]

2 years ago today

[t00thpasteface]

random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

[a-year-ago-2day]

a year ago today, happy end of school.

[durbikins]

[a-year-ago-2day]

11 years ago today

[vogelpsittacines]

Illustration by Sophie Lucido Johnson

[a-year-ago-2day]

a year ago today

[100line]

Peace and love on the planet earth

[somestrangeangels]

This is the best subreddit actually

[a-year-ago-2day]

3 years ago today

[theonion]

MINNEAPOLIS—Responding to conservative backlash over a large selection of offerings for the month of June, Target announced Friday that they would scale back their gay pride section to a single t-shirt, saying they’d do a threesome with a girl for their boyfriend’s birthday. “It’s a one-night-only thing, and we’ll both do stuff to him—nothing to each other,” reads the bright, graphic t-shirt in large rainbow block letters, the detailed rules of the encounter continuing in smaller letters onto the back, which Target representatives called “the perfect compromise to make everyone happy.”

Full story.

[a-year-ago-2day]

3 years ago today

[thuesdaynightdykelife]

I love being friends with prostitutes and transsexuals and artists and drug dealers and perverts and queers

[enki2]

[a-year-ago-2day]

a year ago today

[hnunes749]

[pinene]

is that motherfucker drinking white wine out of the bottle

[nutricyst]

That’s the yosemite road vineyards pinot grigio colombard. 2 for $9 at 711 and you’re supposed to drink it straight from the bottle

[pinene]

Men shouldn’t be drinking wine

[zindabad]

I’m sick of your negativity 

[a-year-ago-2day]

5 years ago today

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[alanaisalive]

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

[docd666]

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

[a-year-ago-2day]

a year ago today