Ye Old Writers Desk

The Place Where Stuff Gets Done (Sometimes)

[tothechaos]

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

[totheorder]

:)

[tothechaos]

[tothechaos]

Do Not Do This To Me

[catboybeebop]

[slicedcheesegremlin]

[tothechaos]

if this post hits 200k im printing it out and eating it

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Daily Recommended Dose of Fiber

Make an ill-advised promise within earshot of a gimmick blog.

[rotary-supercollider]

Quick someone add a fucked-up car so we can get @identifying-cars-in-posts

[mysteryviolencesideblog3000]

Ok!

[identifying-cars-in-posts]

1976-1977 Oldsmobile Cutlass

[terminusverge]

That car is not messed up enough. Here.

@identifying-cars-in-posts

[identifying-cars-in-posts]

1981-1983 Delorean DMC-12

[cantotallyeven]

I'll write a hauiku as a comment on this post and hope the bot sees

[the-haiku-bot]

I’ll write a hauiku

as a comment on this post

and hope the bot sees

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[absurdly-useful]

@identifying-horses-in-posts

[identifying-horses-in-posts]

Pretty horse!

[therainbowgorilla]

@i-say-ok

[i-say-ok]

ok.

[goosemoosse]

@cat-spotted

[cat-spotted]

CAT SPOTTED!!☆ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

[kittybroker]

Fine kitty appearing during our time of need! This Delightful beast only appears once every 1000 years for the small price of $2.50!

[idontrateyourposts]

/200K

[free-post-store]

$0

[yronnia]

I choose @weirdly-specific-but-ok ! And it's effective!

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

the second i saw someone chose me for something i felt deep irrational fear. what eldritch demon is this site sacrificing me to now?

oh are we eating paper is that a thing because i am down baby

[nastasya--filippovna]

If someone asks what Tumblr is, show them this thread.

@turtleneck-crowley @ivankaramazov07 isn't this magic. :D :D ;D

[ivankaramazov07-deactivated2024]

TUMBLR IS HUMAN CULTURE AT ITS FINEST I TELL YOU THE DOCTOR WOULD BE PROUD TO SEE US IDIOTS. IVE SHENANID-ONCE, ILL SHENAN-AGAIN

to all those who got the ducktales reference, i send my love and kisses

[probablyadhdapparently]

I’m turning this into a picrew chain also guys lots of pressure

Nuggts character maker!

This is a Picrew made by Nuggts @.nuggts on TikTok You can use this Picrew as a profile picture or in a video etc. with credits! Do

Do it or the animatronics fucking get me also no I did not kill anyone what are you talking about

tags: @biscuits-lovely-corner @expresso4thedeppresso @funkingrn @aroacesigma @lastdivantruther @barracuda677 @pengumi12 @sulkystella @misschuchuw @someonebeatmetotheseusernames @blinksager @sav3yee @chuuyasboner @ur-local-remy-kinnie @urazayt @thelittleprinceconfirmed @gherkin-saute @vinylbiohazard @amioddlyart

tag all you moots this is not an option

also prev yes you @ivankaramazov07 I want you to do it as well

[ivankaramazov07-deactivated2024]

@probablyautism thnx for remembering the weirdest tumblrina on the planet. also can u explain to ur local grandma what she has to do(apologies are afoot)

[probablyadhdapparently]

So tap on the link above my character and simply make your own it could be an OC or you or your sona, anything.

[ivankaramazov07-deactivated2024]

ON IT BESTIE!

[mystic-mae]

im here watching this lmao, funniest shit i seen

[ivankaramazov07-deactivated2024]

NOT THE KILGRAVE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

oh and @probablyautism here u go luv

CMON FOLKS

DO IT

[mystic-mae]

here you are!!

[ivankaramazov07-deactivated2024]

@mystic-mae IM IN LOVE WITH YOUR PICREW!!!!!! beautiful business.

[falling-raine]

@weirdly-specific-but-ok @styx142 no pressue :)

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Wild how I keep returning to this goddamn post. @queermarzipan ball's in your court babe.

[neil-gaiman]

It may still need help getting to 200,000.

Here's Aziraphale in disguise:

And here's a backstage shot of the Gentlemen in 1941 suits:

[badjokesbyjeff]

@tothechaos will you print and eat the entire post? If so, here is a long joke. Don't choke:

A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people.

At the trial, the man is found guilty of multiple murders and sentenced to death.

Before he faces his sentence, he’s offered a last meal, and asks for a single banana, which is given to him.

The next day, he’s led to the electric chair. They strap him in, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.

There’s never been a failure before. But because you cannot punish a person twice for the same crime, the court is forced to let him go free.

Within a week’s time, naturally, the man, who is obsessed with trains, goes and steals another one.

He doesn’t care that he can’t drive it or that he failed catastrophically before; he is obsessed with trains and his only desire is to operate one. As before, he crashes it, and kills several people.

Again, he stands trial, and again, he is sentenced to death, showing no remorse, only delight that he got to operate the train.

His last meal request is a single banana. When he goes to the chair, the executioner pulls the switch, but nothing happens. He goes free again.

The train-obsessed maniac, once more on the loose, wastes no time in hijacking a train and crashing it.

His trial is speedy, because this has already happened twice, and he is sentenced to death.

They ask him what he’d like for his last meal. “A single banana,” he says.

“Oh, no you don’t, you son of a bitch. We’re on to you, now. We know all about your little banana trick, and you’re not escaping this time!”

The guards refuse his request, and instead serve him a standard last meal of steak, potatoes, and berry cobbler.

The next morning they strap him into the electric chair, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.

“Did you give him the banana?” demands the head guard.

“No, sir! He asked for the banana but we didn’t give it to him, we swear!” says one of the guards.

Turns out the banana had nothing to do with anything. He was just a really bad conductor.

[violet-the-red-panda-deactivate]

JEFF, CHANGE YOUR FUCKING URL

[forlayina]

@writing-prompt-s

[writing-prompt-s]

Quick! Gordon Ramsey has tasked you to come up with a new recipe with a rather special ingredient: 'this trainwreck of a Tumblr post printed out on paper'. You don't have much time as the exquisite guest will enter the doors of your fancy establishment the moment this post hits 200k notes. Come up with a recipe. Please provide detailed instructions.

[shaevilux]

Chaos Course Set Meal

Bespoke 9 course meal meant to be enjoyed by @tothechaos

Foreword:

As tasked by the prolific Gordan Ramsey, this 9 Course endeavour will feature the post in its entirety segmented into 9 delightfully ornate, unreasonably complex yet delectably unparalleled dishes. In the following, we'll see how to prepare each of these dishes.

Course One

Dish name: 10k notes of Hubris

10k Notes of Hubris is a simple risotto with saffron infusion and forest mushrooms, topped with shavings of the top 9th piece of this post, printed in full colour, regular stock. Due to the nature of a 9 course setting, it is wise to start with a simpler dish.

Ingredients (serves four people):

1 teaspoon of saffron

300g carnaroli rice

50g extra virgin olive oil

20g butter

5g shallots

1l vegetable broth

parsley (to taste)

100g porcini mushrooms

80g portobello mushrooms

100g brown mushrooms

5g truffle oil

5g lemon peel and lemon juice

30g parmesan cheese

thyme (a dash)

5g garlic

A pinch of salt and pepper

The first 9th of this post, printed in full colour with regular stock.

Method:

In a saucepan, pour the oil and the chopped shallot(s), then add the rice and saffron and toast

Pour the broth a little at a time and cook slowly. Allow to cook before adding salt and black pepper. Stir in butter, grated parmesan cheese, chopped parsley, truffle oil, lemon juice and peel.

In a separate saucepan, cook the mushrooms with oil, garlic, thyme, salt and black pepper.

Presentation:

At the base of the dish pour the risotto, complete with forest mushrooms and basil leaves. Shave the printed top 9th of the post and sprinkle on top. Drizzle a dash of olive oil before serving.

The next dish and recipe of this 9 course meal, complete with the next 9th of the post printed and incorporated, will be presented by another chef.

[badjokesbyjeff]

@one-time-i-dreamt @i-am-a-fish @pukicho

[i-am-a-fish]

hi jeff (:

[writing-prompt-s]

I just texted @one-time-i-dreamt

[dominyk9]

i don't what's more wild to me, how much we are all working on giving someone ink poisoning or learning that @writing-prompt-s has @one-time-i-dreamt 's phone number

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I have been summoned many, many times

[whoviankendokaqueenbeewithbooks]

This post is already one of the most epic I have ever seen. Keep going!

[notmikesblog]

The tumblr post equivalent of the fall of ceasar. Well can't miss my turn with the knife.

[bone-and-butterflies]

How to hide plot twists from both your readers and your characters in a way that is not frustrating or annoying.

So I was watching a book review for a book that I liked but both loved and hated some of the plot twists. Of course this got me thinking about plot twists and why they work for both readers and the characters that are falling for these plot twists.

Readers

The key is to control the information that your readers have. Your readers aren't going to consider an option unless (1) that twist is really common for your genre and that reader has read that genre a lot and will therefore be expecting it or (2) you have very obviously given them the specific information nessesary to unintentionally figure out the twist before the characters.

Why does this information stand out, you may be wondering. It is because there is nothing else going on to distract away from a piece of information that can seem meaningless with the right context.

Most of the time, if you're not writing a very specific plot line with a very specific genre, your reader isn't going to immediately know where the plot is going so they may not be looking out for the information relevant to a later plot twist, so as long as you justify an informational choice that explains a later plot twist in a way that covers a variety of basis, they're probably not going to pick up on the one piece you left out, aka what is going to make this twist fun.

This piece of information should be something small and unassuming. It can be magical, but if you're writing fantasy that magic has to be hidden really really well. I find that a plot twist works the best when the piece of information that is missing is something you wouldn't really think about, like the reason a prince was able to infiltrate a prison and hide his identity was because he had his cousin standing in for him and we don't know that this cousin existed and knew the limits of that world's magic (this is actually a plot twist that fooled me btw despite how obvious at sounds now).

A good plot twist that fools the reader relies on twisting the information that the reader has and therefore twisting how they think the story will go.

Midway sidenote: not every plot twist needs to exist to fool both the reader and the character, sometimes it is really fun to watch a character fail because of something inherent to that character.

Characters

Remember how I said sometimes it's really fun to watch a character fail. That only works sometimes.

It is more annoying to figure out a plot twist that is really obvious and then have the character miss it because the author said so.

So how does a writer pull this off?

Be intentional. Have an idea in mind of when you want the reader to figure it out and ask your beta readers when they figured out your plot twists to control that as much as you can.

Your character does not know which genre they're in, so you have to both get inside the character's head and take the reader along with you so they understand why this character is making these poor choices and missing the most obvious villain in the room.

Why would a character miss a plot twist?

They are distracted or delusional. Characters have goals and they may ignore their better judgments to achieve these goals based on their personality. Put more emphasis on your character's motives to hide information that may make plot twists more obvious. Also, your characters may use information about their world to explain their motives and this information may also be vital to understanding a later plot twist

The average person does not go around thinking everybody around them is out to get them especially if those people seem incapable of that through the pov character's ego or the other character's demeanor. If your character has known somebody for a really long time or knows a piece of information that is vital to the worldview they're probably not going to immediately discard it. Fun fact: in the real world, when people have their views disputed, even with very good evidence, it can make them more likely to hold on to that old belief.

Expectation of harm. Different characters have different experiences with shape how bad they think things can get. For example, if a character has never experienced something, they may not know what can lead to that thing. (FYI older characters are more likely to know more things so be careful with this one.)

The Twist

For a twist to work, it must make sense with both real world and in world knowledge as well as common sense, so keep this in mind as you plan.

Conclusion

This isn't comprehensive because good plot twists require a lot of information to make them work and that's makes them very specific. While I would love to explain why different plot twists work, part of them working is them fooling you and hindsight bias is kind of a thing.

Keep writing. If a plot twist just isn't working either scrap it or let it sit until you have the information to build reasons why it should work.

[maskeraith]

how woild do you do 7 + 48 ???

40 + 7 = 47, 47 +8 = 55

40 + 4 + 4 + 4 + 3

(24*2)+(5+2)

100-48-7 = 45, hence 100-45=48+7=55

7/11 + 48/11 = 5, so 5*11 = 55

3+4 = 7, 40 + 8= 48, 7+48 = 55

7^2=49, 48-40=8, -> 49+8=55

100+7 = 107 and 107 + 48 = 155 so 155 -100 is 55

another way

Voting ended onApr 29, 2023

[penny-anna]

how many degrees of separation are you from Kevin Bacon?

0 (hi kevin!!)

1 (say hi to kevin for us)

2

3

4

5

6+

how the hell should i know

Voting ended onApr 15, 2023

[penny-anna]

okay i should have probably disclosed up front that i'm a 4 so if you consider me to be a connection then you're at minimum a 5

[casismybestfriend]

Kevin Bacon numbers, link any actor to any other, the Center of the Hollywood Universe, and more

[elliesgaymachete]

ATTENTION NEW TUMBLR USERS: This website is different from twitter and there are actually four (4) things that every blog needs. Go to the woods and fetch the cow as white as milk, the cape as red as blood, the hair as yellow as corn, the slipper as pure as gold

[clockmocker]

[pixelartpeach]

Hello! I'm going to teach you how to get whatever cursor you want.

First, figure out what you want as a cursor. I'm going to be changing mine to a Skyrim mouse.

So first you get a picture of whatever you want, as clean as possible:

Open your favorite art program and clean it up, then save as a png:

Then go here and convert it to a .cur file. Make sure there's no gap between the corner of the arrow and the corner of the png.

Next you go to Control Panel:

Select Mouse from the list:

Then go to the Pointers tab and pick whichever mouse cursor you want to replace.

Click "Browse..." and find the .cur file you made earlier:

And voila! I now have a Skyrim cursor.

You may have to tinker with the size a bit to get the point to be accurate. If that happens, just resize your png and convert to .cur again.

Happy customization!

[sentient-forest-boy]

If you don't go to/ use your local library, why not?

transportation issue

can't afford a card [what demons make you guys pay for a card?]

never any good books there

I do, but only once a year [state in tags why]

books suck and you suck, I don't read

social anxiety

rude employees/ I feel unsafe there

no community/ events hosted that I'd like

other [state in tags]

Voting ended onMar 2, 2023

As a young librarian, I started trying to figure out why more young people aren't ever coming in; 90% of our demographic are the elderly and parents of children, and the rest are a rough mix of the kids and teenagers who come in just for school projects. As a result, I've been attempting different ways to get the Youth TM to come into libraries, but first I wanted to see why they don't come in. Please reblog to get this poll out to more people! <3

[sixth-light]

Can't be bothered putting this on the original post because it will disappear in the notes, but I promise as a native speaker of New Zealand English that when we use "chips" to refer to both fries-chips and crisps-chips, this is not a source of confusion in 99% of cases because, uh, it is pretty obvious from context that "fish and chips" (deep fried food) is not the same as "I'll bring some chips for D&D" (an occasion on which cold/room-temperature snacks are consumed). This operates in exactly the same way as the many other words in various English dialects which have contextual meanings.

In the VERY SMALL number of circumstances where someone is confused, this can be clarified immediately by referring to either "hot chips" (fries/wedges/etc) or "potato chips" (crisps). Anybody who is confused after this is either 1) a small child 2) not a native speaker of New Zealand English or 3) has...really specific and unusually limited life experience in re: chips.

To be fair, about a quarter of NZers are not native speakers of New Zealand English so this is not an uncommon occurrence, but our dialect is perfectly understandable TO US, thank. (And IME non-native speakers who move here pick up this distinction in pretty short order because, again, it's not that confusing in day-to-day speech.)

What this does mean, however, is that I was extremely offput and disappointed this week to find that the "hot chip" of the "be bisexual, eat hot chip, and lie" meme actually means, like, spicy Doritos. that ENTIRELY changes the meaning and quite frankly ruins it for me. gutted.

[elodieunderglass]

Oh god the last part threw me to the ground and I’m American. This can’t be true

[andhumanslovedstories]

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

[andhumanslovedstories]

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2022, commenting on this post from 2016. There’s been a lot of people on this site lately being like “oooh no don’t make viral uwu I’m so pathetic, little, and defenseless and my poor notifications can’t handle 10k reblogs” well first of all ALL of us are pathetic, little, and defenseless and secondly none of our notifications can handle 10k reblogs and thirdly I’m not a coward and I think this should have a million notes. Not because of its own merit as a post, I just think it’d be funny if when I turn 30 this year and I reflect on the greatest accomplishments of my life thus far, I have to at least consider putting “famous tumblr popcorn post” on the list

[andhumanslovedstories]

Hi there guys. It’s me, again. It is December 8, and my birthday is December 16 (and fyi I didn’t even get my birthday off from work which I’m being so brave about, just saying) and I want you all to gather round and listen to my pitch. I could tell you that I really want this, which I do but I also think it’d be really funny to NOT reach my goal and to start my thirties on the note of failure but like a really stupid kind that doesn’t matter and is very funny. I could tell you that getting this post to a million notes will benefit you in some way, but it absolutely won’t, except in the general tumblr sense of getting to participate in committing to the crowdsourced bit, which is actually the truest joy this webbed site can offer. I could even be very earnest and say something how for better or worse tumblr had a hand in defining my twenties, and even when I’ve been infuriated with parts of it, it is genuinely the only social media that doesn’t make me feel like shit and isn’t impossible for me to use, and at very hard times in my life the weird community has been a comfort, but that’s TOO EARNEST. Knock that shit off.

Instead, I offer you this: if you reblog this post with tags, like anything at all in the tags, multiple reblogs won’t be collated together meaning that you can make my notifications truly unusable. Think about that you fuckin jackals. Can you resist the urge to be both helpful and annoying as shit

[laeffy]

Sims 4 page on Steam. Not to be controversial but I think the CEO of EA should be beheaded for this

[cutual]

if anyone got the game from origin heres an unlocker for dlc + links to the dlc files to download that an anon sent me a while back :] its worked perfectly for my game but jus make sure u have enough storage for the packs

[aelynmidnattheir-deactivated202]

AND REMEMBER, DO NOT SEARCH ANADIUS REPACK SIMS 4 DOWNLOAD ON GOOGLE, BECAUSE THEN YOU WILL FIND AN EASY WAY TO DOWNLOAD THE SIMS 4 WITH EVERY DLC FOR FREE. VERY EASY TO INSTALL.

THAT’S ILLEGAL AND WE DO NOT WANT YOU TO PIRATE THIS GAME, DESPITE BEING SO INCREDIBLY PRICEY. NOPE. WE DO NOT WANT THAT. WINK. WINK.

[edwad]

now that everyone from twitter has joined tumblr overnight, it's time to lay a couple ground rules:

1. it's not called a "retweet", it's called a "reblog", but if you're REALLY cool, you refer to it as a "rebagel"

2. if someone has fewer followers than you, it is totally fair to call them "irrelevant", but it is actually more stinging to call them "irrelephant"

3. if you see someone irl that you think might have a tumblr, you're supposed to say "i like your shoe laces". the correct response, which any true tumblrite would know by heart, is "thanks, i stole them from the president"

4. there is a particular phenomenon that happens after 12am EST called "nightblogging", and everything after this point is the fault of the australians

5. tumbeasts

[probablybadrpgideas]

Keep your game exactly the same but now players have to pay you $8 a month to keep their Player Character status.

[wybienova]

[gets a tumblr ask and reads it] wow! i should respond to that!! first i have to do something though [walks into the ocean never to be seen again]

[amorentia-quibble]

Harold Holt’s motive finally uncovered after 55 years

[aquilacalvitium]

Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck

[lizluvscupcakes]

Well, OP, I’m officially invested in this shit. Your whiny ass is doing self care if I have to drive to your goddamn house and do it for you.

[aquilacalvitium]

By Talos this can't be happening

[oysters-aint-for-me]

reblog this everyone i wanna see what happens when op’s reverse-hubris forces them to practice basic self care.

why? because it’s funny and completely possible actually so good fucking luck op

[tungsten-moon]

I figured out roughly how many notes it's been getting per day and multiplied that by the number of days left until the end of 2023

If we keep it going at this rate we'll be far past 666k

[aquilacalvitium]

IMPORTANT

Okay so clearly I've underestimated y'all

So how about we make this more interesting?

I will practise self care if this post reaches 666k BY THE END OF 2022

[moonlarking]

Op you have fuckethed with the devil this post has gained 30,000 notes since I reblogged it last night

[hiveswap]

Who is this man

[friendlyramblings]

Halloween

[hiveswap]

Woag.... thats his name?

[hiveswap]

[youre-only-gay-once]

The new “this post could have 10k notes” thing is so funny because literally any post can have 10k notes if enough people reblog it

[multitude-of-bird]

This post could have 10k notes

[youre-only-gay-once]

[flannel-and-rainbows]

#I’ve been watching this post rise up in numbers #I’m invested now #keep this going

[youre-only-gay-once]

[princesskiwiskye]

I recently saw a post about how tumblr is the best platform for crypto to grow. Specifically NFTs and the web 3 communities behind them.. I agree. Tumblr is known for being home to some of the most amazing communities. There was a time were outsiders dominated this space and made it their own and still do.

The crypto community in its nature is everything that tumblr communities were back in the day.. the biggest difference here is power. Crypto has the power to give communities real power. Bigger than being famous is having the resources to grow and protect value. I never really had my tumblr era because to do that you have to know your people. I didn’t know who I wanted my people to be back then.

Now I do. People that are not scared to dream and change the world. People that take risks and believe in the power of community. People that understand the importance of a decentralized future where we have a say on where we are heading.

I want to build with tumblr to change the future of a great company.

I think this is going to be my tech era through and through and I love that we are choosing tumblr for this adventure. The platform is too cool to die ❤️

My first Music NFT will also be posted here as I continue to grow as an Independent artist. Alte Island, the web 3 project I have been working on is also going to have a big presence on this platform. I’m so freaking excited 🙃

I hope I find all my people and they find me. I’m ready for the moon 🌖

SHOW ME YOUR ART!!! SHOW ME YOUR PROJECT!! let’s open the floodgates ❤️🥹

[transgendercyborg-deactivated20]

K

[daily-monstra]

U

[kashoobelz]

N

[basileater]

G

[pinene]

P

[testosteronefag]

O

[diamantefangs]

W

[svadilfari]

P

[marzipanandminutiae]

E

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

N

[amorentia-quibble]

I