styofa doing anything
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shark vs the universe

blake kathryn
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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Janaina Medeiros
almost home

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Claire Keane
sheepfilms
DEAR READER
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

⁂

roma★
KIROKAZE
Jules of Nature
Keni

PR's Tumblrdome
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@ashfreesky
Fun little dragon skull sketch
First attempt at a face!
A politician dies…
And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.
“So, you’re a politician…” “Well, yes, is that a problem?” “Oh no, no problem. But we’ve recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in Hell. After that however, you’re free to choose where you want to spend eternity!”
“Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell??” says the politician. “Them’s the rules” Says St Peter, clicks his fingers, and WOOMPH, the guy dissapears… And awakes, curled up with his hands over his eyes, knowing he’s in Hell. Cautiously, he listens for the screams, sniffs the air for brimstone, and finds… Nothing. Just the smell of, is that fabric softener? And cut grass, this can’t be right?
“Open your eyes!” says a voice. “C'mon, wakey wakey, we’ve only got 24 hours!”. Nervously, he uncovers his eyes, looks around, and sees he’s in a hotel room. A nice one too. Wait, this is a penthouse suite… And there’s a smiling man in a suit, holding a martini. “Who are you??” The politician asks. “Well, I’m Satan!” says the man, handing him the drink and helping him to his feet. “Welcome to Hell!” “Wait, this is Hell? But… Where’s all the pain and suffering?” he asks. Satan throws him a wink. “Oh, we’ve been a bit mis-represented over the years, it’s a long story. Anyway, this is your room! The minibar is of course free, as is the room service, there’s extra towels next to the hot-tub, and if you need anything, just call reception. But enough of this! It’s a beautiful day, and if you’d care to look outside…” Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings, the man wanders over to the floor-to-ceiling windows through which the sun is glowing, looks far down, and sees a group of people cheering and waving at him from a golf course. “It’s one of 5 pro-level courses on site, and there’s another 6 just a few minutes drive out past the beach and harbour!” says Satan, answering his unasked question. So they head down in the lift, walk out through the glittering lobby where everyone waves and welcomes the man, as Satan signs autographs and cherrily talks shop with the laughing staff. And as he walks out, he sees the group on the golf course are made up of every one of his old friends, people he’s admired for years but never met or worked with, and people whose work he’s admired but died long before his career started. And out of the middle of this group walks his wife, with a massive smile and the body she had when she was 20, who throws her arms around him and plants a delicate kiss on his cheek. Everyone cheers and applauds, and as they slap him on the back and trade jokes, his worst enemy arrives, as a 2 foot tall goblin-esque caddy. He spends the day in the bright sunshine on the course, having the time of his life laughing at jokes and carrying important discussions, putting the world to rights with his friends while holding his delighted wife next to him as she gazes lovingly at him. Later, they return to the hotel for dinner and have an enormous meal, perfectly cooked, which descends into a food-fight when someone accidentally throws a bread roll at the next table (where Ghandi is having a game of truth-or-dare with Marylin Monroe). As everyone is falling about laughing and flinging breadsticks at each other, his wife whispers in his ear… And they return to their penthouse suite, and spend the rest of the night making love like they did on their honeymoon. After 6 hours of intense passion, the man falls deep into the 100% Egyptian cotton pillows, and falls into a deep and happy sleep… And is woken up by St Peter. “So, that was Hell. Wasn’t what you were expecting, I bet?” “No sir!” says the man. “So then” says St Peter “you can make your choice. It’s Hell, which you saw, or Heaven, which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on”. “Well… I know this sounds strange, but on balance, I think I’d prefer Hell” says the politician. “Not a problem, we totally understand! Enjoy!” Says St Peter, and clicks his fingers again.
The man wakes up in total darkness, the stench of ammonia filling the air and distant screams the only noise. As he adjusts, he can see the only light is from belches of flame far away, illuminating the ragged remains of people being tortured or burning in a sulphurous ocean. A sudden bolt of lightning reveals Satan next to him, wearing the same suit as before and grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and a coil of razor-wire in the other. “What’s this??” He cries. “Where’s the hotel?? Where’s my wife??? Where’s the minibar, the golf-courses, the pool, the restaurant, the free drinks and the sunshine???”
“Ah”, says Satan. “You see, yesterday, we were campaigning. But today, you voted…”
Jeff, this isn’t a joke; I’ve just had a spiritual awakening.
Okay, Floofy-eared Chat Blanc... Mari is asleep in his bed... he’s wide awake watching her sleep... her smell is just intoxicating to him... and all these fluffy, sweet scenarios keep running through his head... at first he hates it... but the scenarios begin to sound better and better.
Something started Chat Blanc from a very restful sleep. He jerked up, ears swiveling wildly in every direction, wild eyes searching the confines of his studio apartment.
He’d thought that for a fraction of a second he saw something red zipping around his miniature fridge. His pupils narrowed to focus on that area.
Nothing. Just the empty stillness of an abandoned building, and its creaky old pipes.
Outside the city continued to thrive, with its chatter and cars, the usual city din. Somewhere several floors down, rats scurried. He only heard them occasionally because they never dared to get close to his apartment. His scent covering everything on that floor warning them to stay far far away.
He tried shifting to get a better view of his surroundings, but something mumbled a protest and tugged at the bell on his chest. Finally Chat took notice of the weight in his lap, and across much of his chest.
His head cocked down, blown pupils fixating on the woman sound asleep on his bed. In his bed. On him.
Large fluffy ears swiveled forward, suddenly fascinated in her even breathing, and sleepy murmurs. Moments passed spent simply listening to her, and finally Chat’s own breathing calmed. His muscles relaxed bit by bit until he was reclining comfortably against the head board of his bed again.
“Hey,” he prodded, shifting muscles beneath her in an attempt to rouse her. “You shouldn’t be here.” Chat attempted to peel her away, pushing her hand from his bell. “It’s time to go.”
Marinette moaned, and tightened her grip, snuggling deeper against him.
Fuck, she was cute.
Chat’s head thumped back against the headboard, and he expelled a hard sigh.
“You’re not cute,” he argued at the ceiling. “You’re annoying and pesky. A relentless little mouse with a tenacious spirit who won’t stop invading my nest.”
“Mmmm.”
“Don’t ‘mmmm’ me. You’re exhausting.”
Keep reading
THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN
I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS
DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????
That last fatal scream tho
THE TERROR IN HIS SCREAM OH GOSH
i’m crying
I will always reblog this on the off chance some other poor soul has been searching for it
IT’S BACK
HOYL SHIT ITS B A CK
IT’S BACK?? ON MY DASH?
I’VE ONLY SEEN IT IN COMPLATIONS
I AM BLESSED AGAIN!!!
A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN
yes hello i am here to learn geometries
That crow is more prepared than some of my students.
You’ve all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is trying to return it. There’s been videos of crows picking up sweet wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL.
THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM
Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectly possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it belongs to humans.
Corvids. Who KNOWS. :)
Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason and use tools, scientists had two crows who didn’t know each other each take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter than we are.
they still shit all over the place and eat garbage
ok but so do we
Crows are absolutely amazing birds
My god he just demolished that cat
IS THIS PIXIE AND BRUTUS.
so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god
okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post
I got 100%??? On my GIS test I barely studied for??? And now I don’t have to take the final???? Holy fucking shit this post works.
I got a job today lol
“Extremely detailed character sheet template”
Character Chart Character’s full name: Reason or meaning of name: Character’s nickname: Reason for nickname: Birth date: Physical appearance Age: How old does he/she appear: Weight: Height: Body build: Shape of face: Eye color: Glasses or contacts: Skin tone: Distinguishing marks: Predominant features: Hair color: Type of hair: Hairstyle: Voice: Overall attractiveness: Physical disabilities: Usual fashion of dress: Favorite outfit: Jewelry or accessories: Personality Good personality traits: Bad personality traits: Mood character is most often in: Sense of humor: Character’s greatest joy in life: Character’s greatest fear: Why? What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Character is most at ease when: Most ill at ease when: Enraged when: Depressed or sad when: Priorities: Life philosophy: If granted one wish, it would be: Why? Character’s soft spot: Is this soft spot obvious to others? Greatest strength: Greatest vulnerability or weakness: Biggest regret: Minor regret: Biggest accomplishment: Minor accomplishment: Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: Why? Character’s darkest secret: Does anyone else know? Goals Drives and motivations: Immediate goals: Long term goals: How the character plans to accomplish these goals: How other characters will be affected: Past Hometown: Type of childhood: Pets: First memory: Most important childhood memory: Why: Childhood hero: Dream job: Education: Religion: Finances: Present Current location: Currently living with: Pets: Religion: Occupation: Finances: Family Mother: Relationship with her: Father: Relationship with him: Siblings: Relationship with them: Spouse: Relationship with him/her: Children: Relationship with them: Other important family members: Favorites Color: Least favorite color: Music: Food: Literature: Form of entertainment: Expressions: Mode of transportation: Most prized possession: Habits Hobbies: Plays a musical instrument? Plays a sport? How he/she would spend a rainy day: Spending habits: Smokes: Drinks: Other drugs: What does he/she do too much of? What does he/she do too little of? Extremely skilled at: Extremely unskilled at: Nervous tics: Usual body posture: Mannerisms: Peculiarities: Traits Optimist or pessimist? Introvert or extrovert? Daredevil or cautious? Logical or emotional? Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Prefers working or relaxing? Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Animal lover? Self-perception How he/she feels about himself/herself: One word the character would use to describe self: One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? How does the character think others perceive him/her: What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: Relationships with others Opinion of other people in general: Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? Person character most hates: Best friend(s): Love interest(s): Person character goes to for advice: Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Person character feels shy or awkward around: Person character openly admires: Person character secretly admires: Most important person in character’s life before story starts: After story starts:
found here
Fun fact in case you don’t know:
Much of the Midwest USA (which is landlocked, with no major natural bodies of water except our rivers) is UNDERWATER and most of the food grown in the US won’t be grown this year. High water rescues are being performed in what is supposed to be prairie. Flooding shows no sign of stopping and is going to break the all time flooding record. Levees are topped and failing, retention pools are full, and on top of that, MAJOR tornadoes (over 750 so far, on 4 occasions reaching EF4 status) have been happening. Over 400 streets are closed in Missouri alone, and most of a major interstate (i29) is closed in Iowa, Missouri, and Nebraska?
Above: Nebraska, where 90% of corn and soy is grown in the US. Left is normal, right is this past march.
Most farmers in these areas don’t have flood insurance because they’re not in flood planes and normally would never need it. So they are at a major loss.
The US grows about 70% of the entire country’s staple crops, and half of Canada’s, too. The US is Canada’s main place of import because there is more viable planting space in the US than Canada. $1.4 billion of exports are sent to Australia every year as well, mostly pork, milk, and fruits that can’t grow in Asia (Australia’s main supplier).
There will not be corn, soy, dry beans, canned beans, beef, chicken, or wheat grown. Beef will go up at least 2$ a lb and corn and soy will be extremely pricey and hard to find because it will have to be imported.
Lots of farmers haven’t even been able to plant their fields and cannot plant at all, most commonly as a result of too much moisture in the soil—though driving through my part of Illinois, I can tell you that many fields are more puddle/lake than actual field.
Most of this area with lots of rain has already hit their “final planting date,” when crop insurance no longer guarantees the full payout as crops planted after that date stand a significantly higher risk of not making it to harvest. As a result, many farmers are looking at having to take prevented planting payments, which are generally 50-60% of their normal revenue. Additionally, taking these payments prevents those farmers from being able to replant their crop. While some haven’t paid for inputs (fuel, seed, fertilizer), many already have, and it will be extremely difficult to cover these losses with such a low payment.
It’s going to be a massive hit to small and medium-sized farms, which constitute over 90% of farms in the United States.
Livestock is also dying at an alarming rate - one person I know has recently lost 200 cattle because of flooding.
More levees have breeched in this and the flooding is worse than Katrina. More rain is still coming. Fields that should be planted right now are sitting under feet of standing water, which is also a breeding ground for mosquitoes and other disease-carrying insects.
Right now, we are leaning on a back supply of food, but this can only last for so long.
If you live somewhere that is affected by this, and you very well might, even if you don’t know it, STOCK UP ON FOOD. Corn, soy, wheat, beef, and dry beans are the biggest things that will be affected. Chicken might be good to stock up on too. Prices will skyrocket when back supply begins to run low. This is a very real thing. Nuts, potatoes, and pea-based proteins shouldn’t be affected.
Other photos:
Credit for help with this post goes to “sounds like a weirdly specific question but okay” on facebook.
6/4/19
This isn’t a spring post. This is full summer. God help us.
Illinois is like 45% planted. It’s astounding and scary.
Missouri is under so much water. Places that have never flooded before are being evacuated. No one is really prepared for this.
I’m out in Oklahoma and let me tell you it’s terrifying, the rain is so constant, and the tornado sirens so frequent that I’m getting extremely worried
I live here in Arkansas, and we recently had the Arkansas River flood. Its unrecognizable @chats-little-ladybug , You guys had to open up the floodgates to relieve your state of the water, just to help with the excess build-up, right? I can only imagine how it is over there for you guys right now.
AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Are fedoras really that bad?
YES YES THEY ARE
voidethered:
ask-omnipony:
I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo
I mean it’s a goddamn hat.
Right..?
The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-
I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…
Nothing ventured, nothing gained…
WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…
wait, does that mean?
oh boy…….
Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.
Observe…
IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!
This post is immaculate
It can’t be true.
And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.
I must test it.
Nothing happening so far…
HOLY SHIT IT WORKS
What in the world?
Oh why not? This should be interesting.
Here we go!
Were all mad here in Underland!
What the hell! Never Again!
… Actually …
One more time.
Alright, I gotta try this!
Can’t be that bad!
….
…oh my god…
ask-gmodsfmrocks:
LOL
This just gets better and better
This is one of my favourite things to look at
holy shit this stuff is back
The Gravity Falls one though
i wonder if it works for flower crowns?
here goes nothin-
w HAT THE
DID I JUST-
WHAT THE FUCK
Okay Clearly something is up.
Hmm… I wonder
I’m sure nothing could possibly…
HOLY SHIT
IT GOT BETTER
I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!
I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…
Never not reblog
IT’S ON MY DASH. ACTUALLY ON MY DASH.
i fucking love this
ITS BACK
IT’S ON MY DASH!
itS BACK!
I FOUND IT
Did anyone become Patrick stump please
Get a magic fedora and turn into Patrick stump
This whole thing is hilarious. I remember seeing these way before I ever joined Tumblr too. 😁
This is beautiful and the added loki meme is amazing
THAT MADE MY EVENING
anyone please ask your crush out like this
The thrilling answer
no they need to kiss out behind the school!!!!
oops my hand slipped
nexttttt pleaseee :D
Come on guys add on to this tumblr needs this to be a comic series
I was asked for doing this, so I did
BAM!
I’m out of ideas! XD
next?
THIS IS TOO CUTE I CAN’T LEAVE IT ALONE I’M SORRY
OHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!!
LOOOK ATT THIIIIS!!!!
LOOOOK ATTT THIIIISS!!!!
80
NEEEXT!!!!!
IT HAD TO BE DONE:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*O*
OH MY GOOD!!!!!
ThAT’S IT!!!!
#0o0#
so yeah
I LOVE THIS
REBLOGGED THIS TWICE
I have a need…..I must add to this…
still waiting for the smut
C’mon guys… it needs some smut
THIS NEEDS TO CONTINUE
SOMEONE PLEASE CONTINUE IT
Not so perfect but still perfect first date
HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS WITH MY ENTIRE HEART
O HECk IT GOT bETtEr
OMG, THIS IS PERFECT 💖
notes/letters=the most intimate gesture!
THERES MORE
I reblogged this like a year and a half ago and IT CONTINUES!?
ITS BACK OMG
Omg it’s here!
THIS CUTE I WANNA CONTINUE IT
Ok I tried because this is so cute
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDFFDFF
IT GOT EVEN BETTER OMG
This has to be the most adorable thing I’ve seen today.
This gave me so many happy and cute feels
every time this circles back there’s always more, I love you all
this warms my heart on so many levels <3
ITS BACK
I’m just sitting here
Hitting my knee
Squealing and smiling omfg
this is now a tumblr web comic, who knows when the next upate is, all we know is its gonna be fucking amazing when it happens
best thing ever
Traditional style (Sorry the picture quality is really bad) but here is my (super short) update!!
(The text says : Movie? I won’t be late!)
my contribution!
This is beautiful
Love it
OMG I REMEMBER THIS!!! AND THIS IS SO LONG NOW AND SO ADORABLE!!! I LOVE ALL THE DIFFERENT ART STYLES!!
I love this so much. For multiple reasons. One all of the different art styles. Two I have been seen this post around Tumblr ever since I first came here. And three ever since I first came it’s been getting longer and better ever cents!
This is some cute shit
This has been here since the start of my blog and it’s one of my favourite posts that I had on my dash and it still is
Even after all this time I’m so invested in this
I AM SPEECHLESS
I love this so much😭😭😭
thiS IS THE ABSOLUTE MOST ADORABLE THING EVER XD
THIS IS SO CUTE I’M ACTUALLY SCREAMING
I’M SCREAMING
I’m crying and dying and screaming how is this possible
IT GOT BETTER!!!!!
BOI THIS IS SO FREAKING GOOD!
MY HEART
I want more
This definitely needs to be continued!!
Am I too late to join? :D
@neatatom @apitnobaka @noknmni
@veronicasummersfelton why not?
My hand slipped
MORE PLS!!!!!!
HOW DO I SUBSCRIBE TO THIS THREAD
my favourite thing, artists of tumblr untiting to create a comic about high school notes gay love story
MORE PLEASE!
tagging all my artist friends who need to see this @takaraphoenix @dragon-of-creation @spider999now @shirmir @noksindra
I don’t have self control
THIS IS THE CUTEST SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN! DO MORE DO MORE DO MORE!!
YES HELLO IM CRYING
itS BACK!!
There’s so much more AAAHHHH
I’m just gonna add something real quick 😆
Hurry someone add something please 😭😭
AHHHHH this is so adorable 😍
SOMEONE PLEASE ADD SOMETHING MY HEART IS SOARING THIS IS ADORABLE! 😍
THIS IS SO CUTE😍😍
@highwarlockofhogsmeade LOOK!! SO MUCH MORE CUTENESS FROM THE LAST TIME
This is the best
IT’S BACK
this was here when i first came and it’s back and better than ever
I WILL NEVER NOT REBLOG THIS!!!
*screeches*
I AM IN LOVE!!!
THIS IS STILL GOING ON I AM IN LOVE
I CANT BELIVE ITS STILL GOING ON PLZ SOMEONE ADD ONTO THIS PLZ
Muses Wishlist: The premise with the locker notes and one not having a cell phone.
fuck i love this thread
I love this so much. Both the adorable boys and how a good portion of the artists on tumlr keep going “Oops, my hand slipped~” AND MAKING IT BETTER.
omg. there is more and it is BETTER EFERY TIME I SEE IT
Saw this and thought it was to cute not to reblog
I’m dying.
no.
too late I’m dead SO CUTE!!!!
IT UPDATED, YEEEEES!!!!
Look at this beauty!
YES A NEW UPDATE!
Please oh PLEEEEEEEASE
Can someone continue this, and tag me?
Aaaaaaa need more
AGREED
If someone continues this please tag me
BE STILL MY HEART
IM HAVING A FLUFF ATTACK (when something is so cute and fluffy you more than fangirl over. You OBSESS.)
THIS IS THE BEST THREAD I’VE SEEN AND PROBABLY WILL EVER SEE OH MY GOD
should i add something
@thewitch243 @skylagamingv2 here
PLEASE, PLEASE, ANYONE WHO CAN DRAW, I NEEEEEED!!! 😍❤😍❤😍 ❤😍❤😍❤
Literally reblog everytime this is on my dash 😍
LAST TIME I REBLOGGED THIS ON MY OLD BLOG THERE WERE LIKE 6 PARTS WOW I COMPLETELY FORGOT HOW ADORABLE THIS IS
I WANT SO MUCH MORE OMG
how to draw arms ? ?
holy fuck
holy fuck is right… but… does it work with legs???
yes !!
but how much extend
^^^^^^^^^^
I NEARLY CHOKED
ENJFDFNFATFVFDF
finally. i can be accurate
This is too fucking great to not reblog
I give it MASCLES
BIG MACHO
LMAOOOOOO
Okay but for anyone who legit wants to know how to calculate it correctly:
The elbow joint on average rests a couple inches higher than the navel, so if you measure how long the distance is from the middle of the shoulder to that point then you have the length of the upper and fore arms!
So if anyone’s wondering about legs too, the simplest rule of thumb is that the length from the top of the leg to the knee is equal to the distance between the top of the leg and the bottom of the pectorals:
And I wanna stress that when i say “top of the leg” i’m not talking about the crotch (please don’t flag me tumblr it’s an anatomical term) i’m talking about the point where the femur connects to the pelvis, which is higher up on the hips:
It’s easier to see what I’m talking about in this photo of a man squatting:
So yeah if you use that measurement when using this technique you should get fairly realistically proportioned legs:
But remember! messing with proportions is an important and fun part of character design! Know the rules first so you can then break them however you please!
HOW THE HELL DID I FIND THIS POST OMG
Y’all need to calm down about the Season 3 teaser
Honestly, I wasn’t gonna get into this drama because I think it’s kinda silly anyway, but the more I see about it, the more ridiculous it gets.
Y’all are getting WAY too defensive of Marinette in the new teaser. Like, a lot of her character arc has led to this moment. We KNEW Lila was going to come back and that it was likely going to have to do with Adrien. Marinette has displayed jealousy issues on multiple occasions, as well as an avid hatred for liars. This show is also centered around the will they/won’t they aspect of Adrien and Marinette’s relationship, so relationship drama is expected. This episode is likely the catalyst for a lot of those things.
Really, it was handled rather cleverly in that it backed Marinette into a corner she couldn’t wiggle her way out of, as she typically is able to do. As I have said in previous metas about Marinette’s character, her strength lies in manipulation (“resourcefulness” for those of you who are made uncomfortable by my word choice). Be it as Ladybug or her civilian self, her first step in solving any problem is to manipulate the situation around her until she gets the outcome she desires. As Ladybug, this is her literal super power. As a civilian, it sometimes works in her favor, it sometimes doesn’t. In Reflekta, her first attempts to manipulate the situation failed, so she instead manipulated the photographer with her charms. In Anansi, she played a trick that allowed her to cheat so Nino could win, in Reverser she created a situation so that she could attempt to control the outcome, etc, etc… And while I salute the writers for using this quality as both a good and bad thing–and for displaying so acutely what it’s like to be a woman in a world where you are often disregarded–it also means that putting Marinette in a situation where she can’t manipulate what’s going on is going to frustrate her. Add in the lying and you’ve got a recipe for Marinette being backed into a corner (something that is, arguably, very, very difficult to do).
Keep reading
THANK YOU!!!!
La Justice (Chameleon Rewrite)
Inspired by @lunian, the Chameleon episode, and all the ml salt post I’ve read.
Long post, also can be read at https://archiveofourown.org/works/16816222
Enjoy (+I’m sorry in advance, bc this is the first fic I’ve posted on AO3 or Tumblr)
This was supposed to be a normal day, Marinette would go to school, maybe late, sit down next to Alya, get through the day, fighting in her head about her recently developing feelings for her pun-loving partner and the ones for the boy sitting in the row before her. Apparently, Marinette’s mind was finding it hard to keep her obsessive crush on the boy after he indirectly rejected her by telling her about Kagami, but she still deeply cared for him no matter how irrational it might be.
‘Was supposed to’ are the key words here. It was hard to wake up, as per usual. Her routine left her with little time to get to school on time. She rushed down the stairs kissed her maman and papa on their cheeks, simultaneously snatching a croissant form the table. She took a bite after walking out the front door and checked the time. Her eyes widened at the digits on the clock. She would have to run or she would definitely be late, with the croissant still in her mouth, she started her jog to the building. She made it to lycee just a minute before class.
Walking into the classroom, she noticed the different seating arrangement. Two empty seats, in the back, one next to Adrien. Her gaze flicked up to look at her best friend sitting next to Nino. “How did you pull this off Alya? You’re the best!” She whisper-yelled to the brunette. The eyes under the glasses looked at her confused. “I can’t believe you got everyone to switch seats so I can sit next to Adrien.” Marinette continued. She quickly got off topic to babble about her future with Adrien. Alya stopped her rambling to burst her bubble. The seat wasn’t for her, it was for Lila and she was supposed to sit at the back.
Marinette couldn’t believe it, the whole class rearranged seats and put her at the back, alone, so far away from her bestie, from all of her friends. She just could not comprehend why they would just outcast her like that just overnight basically. Madame Bustier reintroduced Lila to the class and explained that the Italian girl needed to sit in the front because of a disease that Marinette wasn’t even sure existed. Lila was a liar, so whatever she said, Marinette came to second-guess. She could help to feel bad for the girl though, if that really was the case.
When she greeted her with blowing kissed, Marinette was a bit annoyed to say the least. “You have a hearing issue, Lila?” She questioned, arms crossed. Lila went on explaining her condition and Marinette lost track of the circumstances halfway through her explaining. However, she caught Lila saying that she saved Jagged Stone’s kitten. “Isn’t Jagged Stone’s pet a crocodile?” She smirked at the tanned girl. Then Lila responded with an excuse that was probably more made up than the lies, because this was on the spot.
When Lila leaned closer to Adrien to ask him for help with catching up with schoolwork, Marinette was stunned into silence for a moment. A split second after the brunette finished speaking, she burst out of frustration.“Madame Bustier, why do I have to sit at the back now?” She thought it so unfair to her.
“Do you have a problem with seeing or hearing, Marinette?” She couldn’t argue with that one. If Lila’s hearing was impaired it would be only right to let her sit at the front. Adrien interfered before she could respond coherently. Lila and her stopped him from voluntarily sitting in the back row. At least they agreed on that.
Lila then proceeded to voice her self-pity. She worded it in such a way that even she felt bad for her and wanted to be angry with herself. The whole class gasped and she could see the looks on her faces, at least the ones before her. Mylene, Alya, Nino, even Adrien stared at her with furrowed brows. Madam Bustier settled the case with her having to leave for her new seat. Then she suddenly remembered how manipulative she had been as Volpina. She walked back to the desk at the back. She still couldn’t begin to understand the reasons behind Lila’s actions. How she used the image of Adrien to get Ladybug, Marinette to give up her earrings. She would have done so if it weren’t for Chat Noir.
Madame Bustier clapped her hands to start the lesson. Marinette sighed, the tension from seconds before leaving her. Her kitty wouldn’t want her to be upset. He would probably try to cheer her up with god-awful puns that she enjoyed. She’d never let him know, because then he would get insufferable with that information, but she still laughed when she remembered one of his lines from the fights, alone in her room. Tikki would then ask her if she was okay, and she would nod with a smile gracing her features.
“My lady, are you a baker’s daughter? Because I find you a-dough-rable.”
She smiled at the memory. She had been so terrified that he figured out her secret identity, but the remembered that the akuma was a waiter at a restaurant, who tried to tell a costumer that they in fact didn’t sell doughnuts, but the person just wouldn’t get it. The akuma got its prey after the costumer asked for the manager. After that akuma, Marinette had been fairly convinced that she would avoid being a waitress if she could, later realizing after a few days that she often helps out at the bakery’s counter and never once had an incident like that. Then again, they do sell doughnuts.
Doughnuts weren’t on the menu when her class was dismissed for lunch, despite the fact that Marinette craved one desperately. Instead she had to witness Kim handing Lila her dessert as if she was a princess. She ranted to Alya about the unfairness of it all, and all the lies the Italian made up.
“I don’t get it, Marinette, you barely know Lila, why the hate?” Her best friend said. While it was true that Marinette didn’t get a chance to interact with Lila the first time she came to school, Ladybug did, and that side of Marinette wouldn’t fall for the LiLIES. She dragged Nino and Alya to a different table than Lila’s. She spilled the tea, she told them she had followed Lila and Adrien, and how she lied to him. Before she could tell them about Ladybug calling her bluff, Nino butted in. “Whoa, you eavesdropped on Lila and Adrien, that’s not cool.” Marinette was getting irrita-
“A good reporter always verifies their sources. Can you prove she doesn’t actually know Ladybug?” Marinette was taken aback, her best friend, or so she thought, didn’t believe her. She couldn’t tell them she saw Ladybug, they wouldn’t believe her word, if their previous attitude was anything to go b, but she had to prove it somehow. So she threw a napkin at Lila after telling her she forgot it. Lila caught it in her hand and then Marinette pointed out that she wouldn’t be able to do that with a sprained wrist. Lila put her best act on and pretended that it hurt, she even tried to give Marinette an out by saying that she only wanted to pass her the napkin. Everyone pitied her.
Marinette stormed out of the cafeteria, she was fuming with injustice. How could everyone just fall for her Italian charm or whatever it was that Lila had? She faintly heard Chloe’s voice after she left, assumed it was another insult and left for the bathroom.
Meanwhile that was happening. Chloe stood up in the cafeteria. “Wow, can you guys get any more stupid?” The Lila circle just stared at her. “What are you talking about Chloe?” Kim replied, confused. Chloe stared at them in disbelief, surely some of them noticed. Hell, Max was dubbed the smartest guy in their class, maybe they should change that.
“The trajectory of that napkin wasn’t even going for Max, besides that ball was made of thin tissue paper, I don’t know how rough the napkins you saw in India were, but that one would barely injure a fly. Even if that wasn’t enough, Max wears glasses, the ball just would have bounced off even if it somehow miraculously hit him.” She chuckled inside at her pun.
“Shut it Chloe, stop being rude.” Alya cut in. Chloe actually laughed at that one. “You call yourself a reporter? You can’t even tell an insult and constructive criticism apart.” Chloe commented. Alya looked as if she was to say something, but Chloe wasn’t about to let her. “I shouldn’t be surprised. If you can’t be loyal to one person how can you be loyal to the truth?” She added.
“What do you mean, Chloe?” Nino asked. “What do you know about being loyal with treating Sabrina like that?” Alya shot back. Chloe just rolled her eyes. The incident with the Bee miraculous opened her eyes so much that she couldn’t believe how blind these people were.
“Sabrina knows how our friendship works, you, on the other hand, I’m not even sure if you know how the concept works. Marinette is your friend, you might even call her your best friend, and you still take the new girl’s word over hers? Everyone knows you should give the people you trust the benefit of the doubt.” She took a breath.
“Jagged Stone has never had a cat when staying in Daddy’s hotel, Prince Ali never mentioned Lila once in our conversations during his stay, and I presume he also didn’t talk about her to you, Rose?” She questioned the smaller blonde. Who looked at Lila and shook her head.
While Chloe went on debunking all of Lila’s claim there was a big problem in the girls’ bathroom. Marinette wanted to scream her lungs out and Tikki tried to calm her as an akuma drew nearer to her. “Marinette, Hawkmoth can only akumatize the people if they think there is no other way!” She called out to her. “You always come up with solutions to a problem.” She pressed on. “You’re right Tikki. I’m confident, I’m strong I’m Marinette.” She exclaimed. She walked out of the stall. Just as Lila came in.
The confrontation started out with faked sincerity and concern on Lila’s part, but ended with the Italian showing her true colors and threatening Marinette. She seethed with anger at the brunette, everyone seemed against her already. She already almost succeeded with her plan of ruining Mari’s life and who knows who else’s. There was no way she could call her out on her lies alone, and she was alone in this.
Tikki screaming brought her back to reality and she pointed to Marinette’s left where an akuma was dangerously close to her. She covered her ears with her hands so the earrings wouldn’t get possessed. The akuma settled for the bracelet on her wrist. The rest had been a blur.
The lie-exposing session ended when Lila ran out of the room. Everyone assumed it was because of all the insults Chloe was throwing her way, but the blonde knew better. She knew it was because the Italian saw the rest of the class catching on and she needed time to think of how to get out of that situation. She smirked and turned to leave the cafeteria and go look for Adrien. As she walked out, she saw Lila walk out of the girl’s bathroom with a self-satisfied smirk stretched across her face.
Shoot, Marinette. She should have known that the vixen would not leave her alone. Of course, Chloe didn’t care much about Marinette, but she didn’t want another akuma attack or she would be late for her hair appointment today. As she was about to reach for the door to the bathroom, it burst open and out emerged a girl.
Her skin was pearlescent white, her jet-black hair in a bun atop her hair, adorned with what looked like beads on a string. She was dressed in black leggings that stretched over her knees, and on top of them a slightly victorianesque short pink dress with. The top had short puffy sleeves, intricate detailing and had a necktie similar to one of a judge. Her shoes were plain and her arms were completely black, with a pink ribbon wrapped around the length on her hands until they flared out and moved against the laws of gravity, presumably being controlled by the akumatized girl.
Everyone ran in the other direction, but Adrien just stared. This girl was his friend. She was the first one he had made at the school, he earned her friendship, and now, she was standing on the other side of the schoolyard with a feigned ignorant expression.
“Why are you screaming? There’s no need for it.” She said in the same sweet voice she always had. She was still there, it was still Marinette, and Adrien needed to find a place to transform. He ran into one of the now vacant classrooms and quickly called for his transformation.
When he emerged, he was met with the sight of Marinette talking to tied up Lila, while the tanned girl was hoisted up into the air by the akuma’s ribbons. “Let go of her, Marinette!” Chat Noir yelled. She turned her head around and looked at him through her visor. “Look at what the cat dragged in.” She smiled sinisterly and turned her whole body towards him. He tried not to focus on the fact that a pun was her first reaction. She walked slowly in his direction, Lila floating behind her, carried along with the ribbons. “Let her go.” Chat repeated when Marinette was in hearing distance. “Not until everyone hears the truth, Kitty.” She replied in her sweet voice as she came closer to him. “Marinette, please, it’s not you. You can still go back.” He tried to convince her to relinquish her powers, he’d seen Ladybug do it to other akuma victims. Speaking of, where was his partner? His thoughts were cut off by Marinette’s voice.
“I’m not Marinette. I’m La Justice, and I will make sure that every action has its consequence.” She was now two steps away from Chat. He could sense her determination and if that was anything to go by, she wouldn’t be backing down from the fight. The look in her eyes spoke volumes, she maintained eye contact her gaze unyielding as he tried to look his way through to her real self. In the end he gave up on trying to get her back onto the good side. He still kept their eye contact as he reached for his baton at his back. As he was about to bring it out to fight, he felt himself being hoisted up into the air by his ankle and being thrown at the nearest wall. It hurt.
While he was still trying to recover from the impact, Alya ran in front of him to protect him. “We’re so sorry, Marinette. But, please, stop it, it’s not worth it!” The horror and panic visible on her face as she talked to her now akumatized best friend. The pink eyes of La Justice widened a bit before gleaming with amusement, her brows listed upwards, a look of pity on her face. “Oh, Alya, justice is worth everything.”