Eccentric Muffin**

• 28 year old • Danish woman temporarily stranded in Germany • she/her ** Name is the consequence of a random word generator.

[emilybeemartin]

I saw a post saying that Boromir looked too scruffy in FotR for a Captain of Gondor, and I tried to move on, but I’m hyperfixating. Has anyone ever solo backpacked? I have. By the end, not only did I look like shit, but by day two I was talking to myself. On another occasion I did fourteen days’ backcountry as the lone woman in a group of twelve men, no showers, no deodorant, and brother, by the end of that we were all EXTREMELY feral. You think we looked like heirs to the throne of anywhere? We were thirteen wolverines in ripstop.

My boy Boromir? Spent FOUR MONTHS in the wilderness! Alone! No roads! High floods! His horse died! I’m amazed he showed up to Imladris wearing clothes, let alone with a decent haircut. I’m fully convinced that he left Gondor looking like Richard Sharpe being presented to the Prince Regent in 1813

*electric guitar riff*

And then rocked up to Imladris a hundred ten days later like

[emilybeemartin]

Some people have been wondering about the raccoon. Listen. Listennn. Don't ask about the raccoon.

[mavaris]

But does the racoon survive the Uruk-Hai? Does he curl up on Aragorn's head, or does he go straight to Faramir? Does he bite Denethor?

[emilybeemartin]

My friend. My colleague. My brother my captain my king. I too have been pondering this question, and in my mind there can be only one ultimate outcome.

A few months later

All hail the High Warden of Gondor.

Epilogue: It ADORES Faramir.

[elodieunderglass]

Every time I see this post I’m obligated to reblog and make it your problem too!

[softbystarlight]

Fallen Temple

The last man I let inside me

looked at my body like a burden.

Every piece of clothing he didn’t tear away

was an act of restraint, not reverence.

He closed his eyes,

not from pleasure,

but to erase me…

as if desire could be conjured

in darkness.

Was it my size? My softness?

The way my skin caught the 3 a.m. moonlight,

silver pooling on uneven ground,

alive in all the wrong places?

A temple carved with crooked hallways,

altars of insecurity rebuilt

by kind words and a crooked smile,

only to be torn down

by a too-quick touch

and a look away

as I adjusted my body,

trying to find a shape

that might be worthy of devotion.

I watched myself vanish in his silence.

Still, I kept going.

Because sometimes you mistake survival

for seduction.

If I moved the right way,

if I breathed prettily,

if my mouth was devotion

and my hands were prayer,

maybe he’d see me as holy.

Maybe he’d forget to be disgusted.

Repent.

But he didn’t.

He finished and left it there,

a quiet insult drying on skin

he couldn’t bring himself to worship.

I lay in that stillness,

feeling the weight of being unwanted

settle beside the weight I already carry.

Never again, I said

and maybe one day, I would rebuild

the temple in my own name.

[glumshoe]

I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?

[glumshoe]

Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.

[countesspetofi]

The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.

[glumshoe]

there are only two genders: frog and pig

[forestdwellingrat]

I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either

1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR

2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children

yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology

[glumshoe]

oh god

[sailor-lady]

Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it

[glumshoe]

Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?

[jenivi]

[aflowerthatbloomsinadversity]

Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like

So do with that what you will

[fremedon]

Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):

[capitalism-and-analytics]

Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha

[la-pou-belle]

I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.

[kestrelsparverius]

[adrnired]

In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.

[autisticexpression]

This is the worst addition to this post

[araku-validrava]

I am reminded of Treasure Planet.

In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies

[wizardlizardinhislair]

I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?

Or is that just something my brain made up?

[ridiculouslyphotogenicsinosauru]

[kingscrown666]

Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman

[the-haiku-bot]

Last time I saw this

post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at

the second Eggman

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[astronomical-bagel]

anyone in this thread smoke weed

[susiron]

In Leo the Lion (2005) a lion and elephant have the most cursed hybrid children and I think yall should see them

(also Matt Mercer voices the villain, Maximus Elefante and I think that’s very important)

[spaceinvaydr]

[bayeis]

Treasure Planet had mpreg???

[theintrovertreblogs]

Is this a bad time to mention Jake and Lady Rainicorn's puppies

[the-haiku-bot]

Is this a bad time

to mention Jake and Lady

Rainicorn’s puppies

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[badjokesbyjeff]

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes it is.” Boy: ‟I have a baseball.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟That’s my dad outside.” Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?” Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes, it is..” Boy: ‟I have a baseball glove.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad.” Man: ‟How much did you say the glove was again?” Boy: ‟$750.” Man: ‟Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, ‟Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy says, ‟I can’t. I sold them.” The father asks, ‟How much did you sell them for?” The son says, ‟$1,000.” The father says, ‟It’s terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, ‟Dark in here.” The priest says, ‟Do not start that shit again.”

[gotta-get-that-pma]

JEFF WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

[porterr-robinson]

[sandersstudies]

This is so

Unnecessary

[myrrhguy-deactivated20250626]

how do you explain to someone that this is your sense of humour

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

“What could the audio possibly be?”

*unmutes*

“Oh,”

[moonblossom]

If I ever don’t laugh at this, assume I died.

[identifying-cars-in-posts]

2014-2018 Mazda 3

[abz-j-harding]

thank you , identifying-cars-in-posts blog

[femsubdenial]

could you please explain how the safeword traffic system works?? i really cant wrap my head around it

Sure.

Red means stop. No more negotiation, something has crossed a line (too painful, something bad that wasn’t negotiated, etc.)

Yellow means that you need a break or that something is too much, or that if the top continues then you’re going to “red” soon.

Green means that things are going well and you want to continue if not ramp it up a little.

While a bottom might blurt out red or yellow, I’ve never seen a bottom volunteer “green”. It’s usually said in answer to when a top is checking in to make sure everything is okay. Asking “How are you?” and getting an answer of “fine” or “okay” might mean the bottom is just on autopilot and reflexively answering. Asking “What’s your color?” and getting “green” or “I was very close to yellow when you stopped” is much better.

One of my favorite doms to watch at parties was doing a pre-scene negotiation with someone he hadn’t played with before and said something like “Now, just between you and me here ;-) , my favorite color is yellow. It’s not about taking anything I can dish out. I promise you, I can always go harder. I want to know how you’re doing. I’ll likely yellow you, on purpose, a few times, just to find out where your limits are and then aim for a little below that. I don’t want to hear ‘green green green, green green red’ because then the scene’s over. I want some indication of how you’re doing and when you’re getting close to what you can handle, okay?”

And then, whenever she yellowed, he praised her. And why wouldn’t he?? She gave him vital information that allowed the both of them to have more fun!

[drkdreams]

Recently I have heard some discussions on also adding BLUE to this system for medical issues. It would function like RED but also in one word alert your partner you are having a medical issue, e.g. asthma attack, body cramps, low blood sugar, dizziness or some other sysmtom that is a problem for you. If you have already discussed medical issue with you partner, which you should do, blue might key them into something they can respond to with that knowledge to help rather than red and having to explain further.

Example: if I have asthma and communicate with my partner that it’s been bothing me recently and here is where my inhaler will be during a scene and I start having breathing issues and can’t stop coughing or catch my breathe to make out long or multiple words, I can say blue and they would know to get my inhaler. Or they would know to ask medical related questions in relation to stopping rather than thinking they pushed too hard.

[wakewithgiggli]

I hadnt heard of the BLUE addition, but that’s great. Thanks for spreading the word about it.

[gxldslvgs-deactivated20130516]

[aurevoir-mes-amis-deactivated20]

why are people even questioning obesity in america

[merlinsbearditsthedoctor]

why is your tea liquidised?

[american-auror-story]

….. Where exactly do you live that the tea isn’t liquid?!?

[merlinsbearditsthedoctor]

ENGLAND. WHERE IT IS IN A BAG AND YOU MAKE IT YOURSELF.

like what do you do with already liquid tea? Microwave it?

[asmallvillageincanada]

No it’s sweet tea you drink it cold

[abbysrwk-deactivated20140508]

WHO DRINKS COLD TEA???

[randomthingieshere]

HAVE YOU NEVER HAD ICED/SWEET TEA BEFORE?!?

[prouwu-deactivated20190721]

so i reblogged this from a british person and i’ve been laughing at their tags for 600 years

[cloudyobsession]

England, you stole tea from China.  You’ve had it a mere 4 centuries compared to their 30+.  Don’t play like you’re some kind of authority.

[starkinglyhandsome-deactivated2]

[skeletons ooh-ing]

[saveoursestras]

Shots fired. World War Tea has officially begun.

[myfriendscallmemaury]

#INTO THE HARBOR

[theanimangagirl]

[prettyboyshyflizzy]

Englad doesn’t own anything

[dad-monster-deactivated20171222]

except that time we owned most of the world

[dangerbooze]

[that-artgirl-deactivated2019081]

If I stop reblogging this, I’ve gone to the other side.

[navybluenestea-deactivated20191]

I have only seen this legendary post in screenshots, so today is a blessed day.

[phlying-squirrel]

HAH

BOSTON TEA PARTY PART 2

[vampire-spit]

HOLY HELL I FOUND IT

[lilzodiac]

And this is why I love Tumblr

[dmzenog]

Drinking cold tea is like drinking cold hot chocolate. Sure, you *can* do it, but you *really shouldn’t*

[brownirisandcurls-deactivated20]

Behold concerned Brit. Chocolate Milk

[sebsticles]

I only see this on pinterest omg….

[alwaystiredheaux]

OMFG

@riverwriter

[joonscupid]

BEHOLD THE GREATEST TUMBLR POST

[siriusly-fuck-off]

“world war tea” is the best play on words i’ve heard in weeks

[inifitywar]

this post is a wild ride from start to finish

[itsliterallythis]

I haven’t seen this since chocolate milk was added. Is that really just an American thing? You’re missing out guys!

[nabyss]

😂😂😂

[dontwantthenextcommanderiwantyou]

Cold tea

Cold hot chocolate aka chocolate milk

Cold coffee

I mean, do yall even know about cold water or is that an American thing too???

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

YOU GUYS DRINK COFFEE COLD AS WELL???

[benjamminandthemarmalades]

Does the rest of the world not use ice cubes? Do y'all not have freezers? What is going on?

[dazzling-rubabe]

Just thought I’d put my 2 cents in this post, it’s iced tea and not sweet tea. Idk what Americans r smoking 💀

[ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr]

I’m relatively new to Tumblr but it seems like sort of a big deal that I found this post so I’m gonna reblog

[transtimwrightwithstyle]

Imagine not liking iced tea- actually im gonna go drink some now

[cumbercookiebatchs]

I don’t even know what to say…

[grangerstarkid-deactivated20210]

i drink iced tea every day >:)

[ashdeactivated]

Iced tea is brilliant but hot tea is nice too

[gaymoods]

@dazzling-rubabe

Behold concerned Brit

[world-hostage-situations]

World War Tea Situation

[gay-fae]

This post is a relic

[im-a-sokka-for-you-ooh]

Me seeing this for the 14th time in my 5 years on tumblr and seeing more notes and comments but still reblogging it since it’s literally a World Heritage Post

[heritage-post]

date of origin: November 5th, 2013

[apieters]

The legend has crossed my dash.

[queerpeers]

me: “yeah I dated a guy in high school who came out as gay. it was before i knew i was a boy so needless to say it didn’t work out”

coworker: “damn dude was preordering”

[queerpeers]

other things this coworker (who is a cis guy) has done/said:

—got confused about why I’d never been a boy scout because he forgot i was trans

—told me he was gonna get top surgery scar tattoos to match me after i get mine

—laughs at all my trans jokes, even if they’re supremely unfunny

—calls me big dog (and him little dog) even though he is about as tall as two of me

— “I can’t believe she would say that transphobic thing to you. In June? Pride month?”

[queerpeers]

wait how could i forget!!!

—heard i was trans when i started working there but thought i was trans in the other direction so got offended on my behalf when he heard people calling me “he/him”

[queerpeers]

nothing I can say on this blog will be funnier than the things that come from this boy’s brain

[queerpeers]

caleb strikes again!

caleb: “wow, it’s an all guy shift right now. so much testosterone”

my pre-T ass: “hey bud i think you forgot again”

caleb: “SHIT”

[amaraqwolf]

Good news: if you’re currently laying around and not producing anything, you are a credit to your species.

[willow-wanderings]

It’s recently been found that even hive insects rest. Bees will play with colorful toys. Ants sleep for about 1 minute but they do it so frequently it amounts to a few hours per day. Even trees take breaks.

The only things that work without rest are machines; literally everything that lives requires rest.

EVERYTHING THAT LIVES REQUIRES REST. STOP JUDGING YOURSELF FOR NOT BEING A ROBOT.

[amiru-shrubfeast]

And even machines need to rest all the time. Even unfeeling blobs of steel need maintenance, upkeep, and care. They need to be turned of every now and then to cool down.

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Rest is sacred

[paintingpuff]

Hello tumblr I heard you like changeling stories

[cocotamarindo]

cowboy like me: a short graphic dramione story

Page 4, 5, and 6 of 9

Read all here in AO3

It took me a while but the next chapters are finally finished. English is not my first language, so I am grateful if you overlooked any spelling or grammatical errors :D

[anneemay]

[womenintheirwebs-archived]

[skeleton-monarch]

the interview is from June 6th, 2019, it’s one of the first questions asked.

at the very least, there is a trans woman, Hari Nef, in the barbie cast so hopefully the damage this does to young girls is able to be counteracted some.

we should definitely be uplifting Hari Nef in response to this

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

JK Rowling didn't start sending out overtly transphobic tweets until December of 2019 and didn't publicly come out as a TERF until June 2020. On the other hand, Margot Robbie was the one that invited Hari Nef to filming.

[artificial-father]

Media literacy people!

[oldmaconthemountain-deactivated]

[sublimesublemon]

These are… actually pretty inspiring.

Cool.

[lollipocalypse-deactivated20170]

Forever reblog.

[souphands]

“you are never taller than when you stand up for yourself”

thats just awesome

[btp-yami]

“You’re the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success; F***ING ACT LIKE IT.”

My fave right there.

[burlesque-kanaya-deactivated201]

When life gets harder, you must have just leveled up.

Inspirational fucking post right there.

[nine-touched]

The last one is my favorite. 

[breelandwalker]

Always reblog Courage Wolf!

[whatevsman16]

“Bottle your emotions. Molotov Cocktails.”

That was my life moto for a while

[thebibliosphere]

This is missing my personal fave so I’m just going to add it real quick.

[cardenvondraken]

Ah, the classics…

[runby2]

Remember if you’re out at a store and someone says “This is a robbery” you can say “no it’s not” and then the robber will leave because theyre a robber and this is no longer a robbery .

[runby2]

You can not just say this without dropping the whole story

[alonelybeemakingart]

Ok so,

My dads coworker is at the front and this man comes Up and hands him a document.

The coworker took a Look at the document and while he couldn't read the things written by Hand, because he wasn't wearing his glases, he did notice the Logo of a different Bank so he's like:

"Oh, sorry sir you can't do that here! You have to go to the other Bank for this :)"

The man, visibly confused leaves, but dosen't take the document with him.

The coworker, now just as confused as the Guy actually Takes Out his glases and reads the hand written part:

This is a robbery

[gay-jesus-probably]

Can you imagine trying to rob a god damn bank and the teller just cheerfully tells you to go rob the competition instead

[theprofessional-amateur-deactiv]

I worked as a bank teller for several years and a few things you should know, bank robberies happen far more frequently than you might think and they come in waves. When a bank gets robbed a notification with photos goes to all banks in the area to be on the lookout. And there are two kinds of robbery, the pass the note and the takeover (what you see in movies).

So our branch had had a big takeover robbery as well as a note one. We also had a teller that had transferred to our branch after having been through a robbery. She was sweet as apple pie, hair up to the ceiling, southern lady who had just been through multiple robberies.

A guy comes in and hands her a folded note. Her immediate thought was “this guy needs to learn you don’t hand bank tellers notes. I am just not going to read that.” So how the conversation goes:

Her: how can I help you today?

Him: I’m here to get money

Her: great *hands him a withdrawal slip*

Him: all the information is on the paper

Her: to process the transaction I need you to put it on my piece of paper

SO HE FILLS OUT A WITHDRAWAL SLIP. Meanwhile another coworker is looking at her latest robbery notification email thinking the guy at the window looks a lot like him but the teller is calm and seems to be following standard transaction.

Back at the window the teller notices his name on the withdrawal slip doesn’t match the name on the account so she asks for his ID. He once again tells her all the relevant info is on the folded note but also gives her his ID and says it is his dad’s account. She tells him he will need a check from his dad to get cash. He grabs the note and leaves.

ONE HOUR LATER

Two new robbery notifications hit our emails, both branches within a mile. It is our guy. Teller goes over to the manager and sheepishly informs them he was here and the time. Security department is notified as are local police and the FBI. The FBI comes over believing that these poor tellers had been robbed for the 3rd time in a month and take her statement. She is completely embarrassed telling them how everything went down and he kept signaling to the note and telling her to read it but she was just done.

To which this FBI agent of 40 years who has been to the scene of many bank robberies (several at this branch in recent weeks) says: Ok. Let me see if I got this right, he came in fully intending to rob you. He gave you the note and you just…refused to read it? So he left and went to the bank literally across the street, handed them the exact same note, and they just handed him five grand? Do I have that correct?”

Her: I am so embarrassed

FBI: this is best thing I have ever heard. He even handed you his ID! Holy-

Her: I feel so dumb!

FBI: don’t! This is the best thing I have ever heard. This is going to be in training courses. (He sat there giddy for at least 5 more minutes)

[bippysaurus-rex]

I have a similar story from my friend Fred, who is a great human and I like him lots.

He was working at a 7-11 that got robbed a lot, working nights. And he was bored and read though his entire contract and learned if you're shot at work you get $200,000. Also, he hated his boss and the job.

So when a guy came in to rob him at gunpoint he got excited and was able to hatch the plan he had been pondering while dealing with a Shitty Boring Job.

"Dude. Shoot me in the leg. Right here- it'll go through and not hit anything vital and I'll be able to quit this fucking job. I'll give you fifty fucking grand to shoot me in the leg then you can take everything in the register."

This ended with him chasing the weeping attempted burglar out of his store screaming "SHOOT ME YOU FUCKING COWARD I WANT THE MONEY".

[cheesepoon-deactivated20231010]

@rmilkies

[byrdsfly]

One of my uncles was a branch manager at a local bank when I was a kid. His branch had the dubious honor of being one of- if not the- most robbed bank in the area. There was a bullet hole in the wall behind his desk where he'd been shot at once.

One day, this guy came in and announced he was there to rob the place. This man was smoking a cigar with one hand and had a gun in the other.

My uncle pointed at the "No Smoking" sign and told him in no uncertain terms, "Put that cigar out, or finish it outside first."

This guy, bless his heart, went back outside to finish his cigar.

My uncle locked the door behind him and waited for the cops to show up.

[astraltrickster]

This is what I like to call the Bugs Bunny Deescalation Strategy

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I don't think about Harry Potter all that much these days but sometimes I just randomly remember that these kids were writing on parchment. Like I know they have an aesthetic but WHY are these children writing their essays on ANIMAL SKINS in this day and age. It just isn't practical. At least go with old-timey paper or something.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

To all the people in the notes saying they thought that parchment was old-timey paper: you didn't write five fantasy books where it is explicitly mentioned as being used extensively multiple times each book. If you had, you presumably would've looked the word up in the dictionary first. Different writing materials require different types of storage and treatment and you'd look up parchment vs. paper if you were going to replace one with the other, to make sure you didn't make any stupid worldbuilding mistakes. Same as you would with vellum, or papyrus, or wood slips, or any other writing material.

[roach-works]

you would be amazed and depressed to realize how confidently wrong most writers are about at least one crucially important item that made it to publication.

[autisticexpression]

Another thing JKR did that bothered me as someone who volunteered at a raptor centre before I read the books (I was late to the party): the casual ease with which everyone handles owls.

The thing about owls, and raptors of any kind, is that they have big fucking talons. And it doesn’t matter if they're trying to hurt you or not, these are animals with meathooks on their feet. You need special equipment to handle them without risking serious injury and infection. You at the very least want a falconer's glove, but given that owls like to perch on your forearm like it's a branch, you're better off with an eagle glove which covers your whole arm.

At no point in the Harry Potter series is falconry equipment of any kind ever mentioned. People just let owls perch on their hands or shoulders like it's nothing. There's even one particularly cringe-inducing sentence where an owl sits on Harry's lap, a glaring continuity error in light of the epilogue where he has children. I could only conclude that standard wizard clothing universally includes thick leather gloves, shoulder pads, and a jock strap. That's the only way I could get through it.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

"There's even one particularly cringe-inducing sentence where an owl sits on Harry's lap, a glaring continuity error in light of the epilogue where he has children."

This is the funniest thing anyone has ever said about Harry Potter

[thegaymertrainer]

I FINALLY FOUND IT AGAIN

[sources-and-debunks]

The audio from this is from the Mexican comedian Sofia Niño de Rivera. The translation in the tiktok is better than Youtube's autogenerated captions (obviously), but here's the original:

[ecrivainsolitaire]

The whole thing is on Netflix with English subtitles, highly recommended

[garrettauthor]

I got real petty over on the Facebook page and IT WAS GLORIOUS.

[wintergrey]

This is me, going to check out Legendary Books now…

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Publisher: We think that the way the fantasy genre treats women is problematic so we’re going to try and do better

A Fool: If you don’t like it why don’t you make your own!

Publisher: That

That is literally what we just said we are doing

[garrettauthor]

GUESS WHO’S BACK, BIGOTED FUCKWADS?

BOY it feels good to be back in this particular saddle!

[garrettauthor]

AHAHAHAHAHA we have a winner for today!

[snigepippi]

*Snort*

[loopy-lolly-loo-deactivated2023]

@princessjellyfishie

[notyourplayground]

if anybody like me a) lol’d and b) wanted to get my hands on that book series, here’s the link

[seanchaidh101]

This is magically what I’m looking for right now.

[tragedybunny]

Hi Legendary Books, I’ll take one of everything.

[garrettauthor]

Happy to oblige!

https://underrealm.net/books

<3

[maggiemae873]

I literally don’t have the space for any more physical books, but I’ve downloaded every Underrealm book on Kindle. I read The Alchemist’s Touch specifically because of this post and I seriously can’t recommend the Underrealm books enough. they are absolutely fantastic.

[holycafe]

I don’t really read anymore, not like i used to. And of i get a masters this year like i am planning to then that isn’t going to change. But hell yes I’m going to go and buy these books because THIS is exactly the kind of thing that i want to support!

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

YISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[vigilantsycamore]

One day I will have a job and a bank account and I will have money from the job in the bank account and I will use some of the money to purchase these books

[garrettauthor]

Hey did you

did you know

did you know we have a podcast now and you can literally listen to the books for free.

(You probably didn’t. That’s okay because it’s very new).

It’s slower than buying and reading them, but it’s great if you have no book budget but you do have some listening time!

The Nightblade Epic Podcast

The Nightblade Epic Podcast is an audio presentation of the #1 Amazon bestselling series. Narrated by Garrett Robinson, and hosted by Meghan

[siawrites]

You could also beg your local library to get them.  Just saying.

[garrettauthor]

Asking your library to stock a book for you to read is one of the most helpful things you can possibly do for an author.

[demongrocer]

Just saw that The Academy Journals series mentioned here is available as part of Kobo Plus!

USA link for the first book

The Alchemist’s Touch ebook by Garrett Robinson - Rakuten Kobo

Read "The Alchemist’s Touch A Book of Underrealm" by Garrett Robinson available from Rakuten Kobo. To save his kingdom, Ebon may have to bet