Porple

Trans and human

[omegaspoon]

turns out i've been sleeping with mold for an indeterminate amount of time?????

[theboredvoid]

dont become jk rolling

[omegaspoon]

it's white and gray mold, not black

[accidentallyoccidental]

you have been WHAT

[omegaspoon]

the sausage i kept on my pillow molded (is that a word???) at some point

no idea when it started, but when i noticed it today, it was mostly covered, so it had to have been a while

[kisforkerosene]

the sausage you kept on your what now.

[theboredvoid]

was it packaged at least?

(it's not weird to have something on your pillow, i had a giant rock right next to my head for 7 years)

[omegaspoon]

yeah?? it's one of those plastic wrapped summer sausages

[theboredvoid]

did it have a name???

DID YOU PUT GOOGLY EYES ON IT

finally, WHY???!??!?

[omegaspoon]

1. no

2. yes

3. idk i felt like it

[theboredvoid]

are u gonna eat it? food is food

[omegaspoon]

i dislike fungus

[theboredvoid]

food is food , even if it is moldy, I've never gotten sick from eating moldy or rotting food

[kisforkerosene]

ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ you're both insane

[omegaspoon]

unrelated

[omegaspoon]

NO NO NOJONONO

[wizardlyghost]

[OMEGA SPOON and THE BORED VOID are having a DISCUSSION in a PUBLIC BATHROOM]

SPOON: My friends, I have some news to share with thee

About the state of my own health of late!

Discoveries most vexing I have made

Of spores of mold a-lurking in my bed,

So hidden that I cannot rightly know

How long it is that they have shared my rest

And haunted slumber with their poison'd breath.

VOID: Egad! Dear friend! A prayér for your health!

That you might rally swiftly 'gainst this foe!

I beg of thee, resist the madden'd song

Of ideologies most vile and wrong!

I hope you will not follow on the path

Of that transphobic witch whom we despise!

SPOON: Worry not, dear heart; be reassured,

I do not share that dread affliction's curse

The spore that I have found inside my home

Is colour'd white and grey, you see, not black.

[Enter ACCIDENTAL OCCIDENTAL and KISFOR KEROSENE]

OCCIDENTAL: What is this I hear upon the breeze?

My friend the Spoon sleeps 'pon a bed of mold?

SPOON: My bed is fine! My sausage is what ails!

KEROSENE: Excuse me?!

SPOON: Wait, I could have phrased that better!

That is to say, the sausage that I keep

Upon my pillow while at night I sleep

Has grown itself a coat of winter fur.

I must confess, I am myself surprised

That such a spreading growth occurred so quick

Despite this item's place within my sight.

KEROSENE: This answer does not set my heart at ease!

Thou keepst a sausage on thy pillow? Why?!

VOID: 'Tis not so strange to sleep in such a way!

Myself, I slept beside a hefty stone

And felt no ill for seven years or more.

All the same, I ask of thee, dear Spoon,

Is if you kept your sausage in its case?

SPOON: Of course I did! Do I appear a fool?

'Twas of a kind of sausage bought in summer

Wrapped in plastic, safe against the world.

VOID: I would ask three questions:

SPOON: Fire away!

VOID: Firstly, did the sausage have a name?

Second, was its form anointed thus

With googled-eyed adornment 'pon its face?

Finally, and most important: why?!

SPOON: Three questions asked, three answers I shall give:

A-no; a-yes; and out of idle mirth.

VOID: Do you intend to eat the sausage now?

Food is food, and want is born from waste.

SPOON: I cannot in good conscience eat this thing!

Even if it were not once my friend,

And even if its poison plagued me not,

I have no love for food of fungal ilk.

VOID: Again, I must declare that food is food!

A little mold has never done much harm!

I myself have never fallen ill

From eating of the rotten fruit of life!

KEROSENE: Both of you are mad beyond repair!

SPOON: Though true, this is not relevant right now!

[There is a sound of a FLUSHING TOILET. VEXILLOLOGY ISENJOYABLE exits one of the ignored BATHROOM STALLS. All are awkwardly silent for a long moment as they wash their hands.]

VEXILLOLOGY: Shocking that such discourse has occurred in naught but seven minutes by my watch! I am reminded of the fabled plays where fools were taught to boil a cup of tea! I have no doubt that others will enjoy the tale of madness that I witnessed here!

[Exit VEXILLOLOGY ISENJOYABLE]

SPOON: DO NOT SPREAD THIS TALE YOU WRETCHED FIEND!

THE BARDS MUST NEVER KNOW OF THIS DISCUSSION!

[Exit OMEGA SPOON, chasing VEXILLOLOGY ISENJOYABLE]

[End scene]

[oiruman-deactivated20150208]

i am kind of sad ok

[hound1998]

this cat’s name is Princess Monster Truck

[oiruman-deactivated20150208]

thank you

[jalapeepo]

I WILL NEVER BE SAD AGAIN

[rainbowobsidianbutterfly]

French: …Sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty-nine, sixty-ten… Other languages: **stares** French: **stares back** French: …sixty-eleven, sixty-twelve, sixty-thirteen…

[kell-horreur]

French: …sixty-sixteen, sixty-ten-seven… Other languages: *shutting eyes* French: …sixty-ten-eight, sixty-ten-nine… Other languages: *hands over face* French: …four twenties! :) Four twenties one…

[topshotpicks]

“Today I’m going to be magnificent.” That’s the spirit, dog.

[iratenapkin]

for anyone who says only cats are little shits

[baddroid]

[fgrobichiko]

the only acceptable reason

[fwizard]

#I was gonna be like nooooo but then I was like yoooo

[peakae]

TITTY 2 BOMB

[131-di]

the contrabass saxophone is such an absurd instrument

[medicalalucard-deactivated20201]

talk dirty to me

[illogicalhumanoid]

Have ya’ll seen the double contrabass flute before???

[131-di]

reblogging my own post because what in the fuck

[leaf-jelly]

i give you the contrabass tuba. Why is it real. I dont know.

[carbink]

Know what’s even better?

HYPERBASS FLUTE

[paulsrockinpagoda]

my counter:

piccolo trombone 

[depsidase]

[infestuous]

Wally Dion, Green Star Quilt, 2019 circuit boards, brass wire, copper tube

[chekhovs-raygun]

I SAW THIS IN THE PORTLAND ART MUSEUM! ITS HUGE!

it shimmers like no gemstones i've ever seen: green as malachite and emerald but shot through with opal, gold, copper. photographs can't do it justice because of how it shines, as well as the way the actual material elements have their own dimensions. you can lean in and study all the fine lines of the circuits or step back and admire how the rearranged whole forms new patterns. it's one of the most beautiful creations i've ever seen.

[funkylilfellow]

@spriga-titos i feel like if we steven universe fusion-ed into an art piece it might be this one

[hometoursandotherstuff]

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cwydx34kzlvo

[runcibility]

"Vanderhorst had been under the influence of MDMA and three litres of vodka she had consumed on the night of the offence last September, her lawyer Michael Hill told the court."

three. liters.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

i support women's wrongs

[inbabylontheywept]

I'm trying to wrap my head around how much vodka that is.

A BAC content of 0.4% is defined as "the lethal dose" in most medical textbooks. That's the dose where half the people that reach it do not survive, the LD50. You take 20 people off the street, make them drink til their BAC is 0.4%, and odds are good you'll kill 10 of them.

For most people, that takes something like 13 back to back shots, equivalent to 20 oz total, or 600 mL.

If this woman weighed 200 lbs (90 kg) and just straight chugged those bottles in under an hour, her BAC would've peaked around 1.6, which is 4 times the level that would kill most people outright. It would take her 85 hours after stopping drinking to "sober up" to merely the lethal level.

If she were to space it over a 24 hour bender, that would still result in a peak BAC of "merely" 1.4%, still over three times the lethal dose, with an estimated three days to return to "merely lethal" levels of sobriety.

Several thoughts on this.

That fact that this person is not dead is, by itself, impressive.

The fact that they were able to travel somewhere and pull a prank in that state is legitimately incredible. The LD50 for falls is 50 feet. In my head, I am putting this on the same level as a woman falling out of a 5 story window, staggering away, only to get apprehended later gluing googly eyes to random objects.

There was a drinking game some of my friends played in college while watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail that we always wound up cheating at, because every time we attempted it we got blitzed. We did a fully sober watch of it one time while tallying, and that drinking game would've required us to take 55 shots in order to make it through honestly. We all agreed that was ridiculous, but I am only now processing that it was ridiculous in a way that could actually get people killed. If you're making drinking games, please try to give yourself a 9 shot budget, tops.

This woman consumed the equivalent of 65 shots. Which means that she alone could pass the Monty Python drinking game.

...I wonder if the MDMA helped.

[stevenrogered]

it’s almost that time of the year again, so you know what that means

[gaynfl-moved]

[fullmetalfisting]

You know, that’s fair

[beemovieerotica]

this commercial is now banned in the UK

[animentality]

[47witchyneurons]

When I get blood samples at work sometimes they’re still warm from being imminently inside the patient’s veins and my hands are always cold because all the labs Ive work in are in the basement and they keep it kinda cold for whatever reason (and I’m also just a chilly kid).

And I clutch the little warm tubes of blood and feel this sick person warming my hands and I think about how kind you might be and how I wish I could hold your hand and how badly, how really really badly, I want you to get better and stay warm and hold someone’s hand again.

And anyway sometimes it’s better to not think so vividly about the people I’m doing tests for. I’m a good little cog in a vast machine of people all trying to heal and cure, and my cog feels so fucking small sometimes. But I hope the blood I prepare for you helps you breathe better and laugh and wake up feeling well rested.

We’ve never met but you warmed my hands and I want you to know I love you and I’m rooting for you.

[emilythesincere]

god, this is so sweet

[animentality]

[astraldemise]

looks at you

[astraldemise]

looks at you

[syn4k]

@bettsplendens i'd just like you to know that this is my favorite comment on this post and i'd like it to be memorialized

[kristina100000]

incredible picture found on the interwebs i had to share with everypony

[animentality]

[arrowandaxe]

[darusen]

the floating head of wisdom

[toe-fingerman]

Please don't fall victim to internet misinformation. There is no floating head. It's a regular horse, it's neck is just hidden due to the position of the camera. I made an image to help you understand the what's actually going on.

[pride-knightess]

Thank you for the clarification