Okay, so, I’ve made enough ask blogs that I figure there’s too many to just keep putting in my main blog’s description, so I’ll put them all here! Fire Emblem, MHA, TBHK, Pokémon, etc.!
FIRE EMBLEM: THREE HOUSES
Academy Lorenz Hellman Gloucester: @noble-of-the-red-rose
I was already on board with his sweet wholesome open-to-love-and-nurturing heart but I was fully unprepared for getting to that last tweet and seeing how off the hook HOT dude is
Just realized that the pick up line “did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?” Would both work SO WELL but also fail miserably for hualian. Like it could go multiple ways:
Hua Cheng being all flirty and trying to be smooth (successful): hey, gege, did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Xie Lian, oblivious: which time?
——
Hua Cheng being all flirty and trying to be smooth (successful): hey, gege, did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Xie Lian: yeah, it’s a pretty long fall. But, I’m fine, really. All healed 😊
Hua Cheng, freaking out and checking Xie Lian over: gege!! 😱
——
Xie Lian trying to flirt and be smooth (failing, but it’s hua cheng so he’s into it either way): San Lang, did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Hua Cheng: No. I didn’t fall, I jumped. How could I stay in heaven if my god was walking the earth?
Xie Lian, blushing profusely: San Lang!!!
——
Xie Lian trying to flirt and be smooth (failing, but it’s hua cheng so he’s into it either way): San Lang, did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Hua Cheng, staring lovingly at Xie Lian: gege’s my heaven, and he’s the one that caught me.
Xie Lian, equally besotted: San Lang…🥹
——
Hua Cheng, before Banyue Pass and still disguised as San Lang: gege, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Xie Lian, shocked: San Lang knows even this!?!? He really is amazing! 😃 (see the first option for how this progresses)
——
Surprise beefleaf!!
Shi Qingxuan, flipping his hair and fluttering his eyelashes flirtatiously: Ming-Xiong, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
He Xuan disguised as Ming Yi, feeling pretty murderous over the question: …
Shi Qingxuan, oblivious to it: because you must be an angel 😘
He Xuan, reached his “Shi Qingxuan threshold for the day” and walking away: …
Shi Qingxuan: eh?! Ming-Xiong? Where are you going??
——
Lmao just looked up the actual pick up line and realized I remembered it wrong, so have some more 🤗🤗
Hua Cheng being all flirty and trying to be smooth (successful): hey, gege, did it hurt?
Xie Lian, not sure what incident he’s talking about: I have a high pain tolerance 😊
Hua Cheng: …
——
Surprise FengQing!!
Feng Xin: hey! Did it hurt!?
Mu Qing, annoyed, wondering what he wants: did what hurt?
Feng Xin: when you fell from heaven?
Mu Qing, drawing his saber: …is that a threat? 😡😡😡
Feng Xin, realizing he fucked it up: 😳😳😳
——
Jun Wu, trapped in Mount Tonglu: did it hurt?
Mei Nianqing, sitting to the side, reading a book, not even looking up: did what hurt?
Jun Wu: when you fell from heaven?
Mei Nianqing, flipping a page and still not bothering to spare him a glance: you’re the one that fell, my lord, not me.
Pairing: Dorian Pavus x Male Elf Inquisitor (trans-friendly)
Rating: General Audiences
Words: 1306
POV: Second
Summary: The inquisitor is having feeling for the Tevinter, but the tragedy of a past lost make it hard to act on those feelings.
Tags: hurt & comfort, love confession (?), flirting, Dorian's fabulous moustache, getting together (?), Elven language & dash of angst
A tingling sensation danced like a warm fire over your lips. It had been a while since you had speed-walked towards your chambers, but you still felt it. It was lingering like a ghost, a remnant. You touched your lips lightly, replaying the abrupt kiss Dorian gave you after Mother Giselle accused him of being some sort of bad influence. Maybe he was. You didn’t care though.
Your hand reflexively reached up to the pendant hanging from your neck. The simple jewellery wasn’t worth a single piece of gold, but you had made sure it survived the conclave, the journey through time and the attack on Haven. The thin chain was starting to get some wear and tear from your nervous fiddling and the pendant itself was losing its outer coating. “Zevwen,” you whispered the name into the cold air, like a soft prayer for your long gone lover. It had been a good decade ago, but you could recall the last day you heard his voice crystal clear.
He was pale as the snow in the mountains. The only colour on his visage was the redness around his eyes. Fingers, thin and trembling, lightly held onto yours. His voice had been a mere fragment of what it used to be. “Ma vhenan, you were meant for great things; I have always seen legends in your soul.” Such a convoluted way to tell you to live on, venture away from the clan and carve your own path. You did just that a few months ago; look where that got you.
A deep sigh left your lips, before you rose from where you were seated on the edge of the bed. You tucked the pendant back under your clothes and went on to be the Inquisitor, the Herald of Andraste, the random guy who is going to defeat Corypheus. No big deal.
—
The Winter Palace was as grand as the Game was despicable. In the grand mess of schemes and murder, Dorian seemed to have enjoyed himself in some way. You suspected he would mingle well with the nobility. A few times when you passed him by, a young Orlesian woman was trying to woo him. The forbiddeness of a Tevinter man was very popular among the younger ladies. It was somewhat amusing to see Dorian suffer through tactfully rejecting them one by one, without causing a political debacle that would torture Josephine for months to come.
“There was an ancient dowager looking for you. Said she had twelve daughters. I told her you left already.” Dorian made his grand entrance on the balcony. There was really no hiding from him. “You can thank me later or now, but… you look distracted. Something on your mind?” You glanced at him from the corner of your eye. It had been a wild night, but even as an entire empire was on the verge of crumbling, you had often found your mind drift to the way he was filling out that ridiculous red tunic.
“Did you need me for something?” You finally turn your head to really look at him; that was a mistake. Steel grey eyes bore into your soul, searching for answers to inquiries he had not even made yet. You tried to keep your expression neutral, hiding your emotions beneath a blanket of professionalism.
Dorian turned towards you, one arm handsomely leaning on the edge of the balcony. “Oh, I always need you for something.” He gave you another one of those insincere charming smiles; you were both inept at expressing honest emotions. “I would say the question remains whether you need me, but I know you do. Afterall, you would not have extended the invitation of the scheming marquis if you didn’t.” His arm waved around in a grand motion. You hummed and nodded in reply, knowing he would continue talking no matter what your reaction was. “In any case, I know what you need now too. A distraction.” He pushed himself off the stone and offered you a hand. “Dance with me, Inquisitor.”
A smile creeped onto your face. You tried to hide it by looking down, but you knew Dorian had already seen it. Without a word, you took his hand. He pulled you into the empty space on the balcony. The music drifted through the slit between the doors, guiding your intimate dance under the night sky. Josephine had appointed you a dance teacher for tonight, so you would fit in, but Orlesian nobility apparently danced differently from the Tevinter nobility. It was hard to anticipate Dorian’s movements. Maybe it was just Dorian, ever the storm, the chaos, the novelty. Maybe Dorian actually didn’t know how to dance.
Nonetheless, he held your eyes hostage with his. The warmth of his body seeped through your fancy clothes. The sweet scent of his perfume filled your nose. He was everywhere around you, making your heart race and heat rise to your face. You dipped him; matching smiles adorned both your faces. “This is the moment you kiss the evil magister, Inquisitor.” His soft-spoken, alluring words broke the spell. Anxiety creeped up your spine. You pulled him up and let him go. “Or not,” Dorian added without hiding the disappointment in his tone.
You took a steadying breath and rubbed your face. “Sorry… We… We need to talk.” When you looked at Dorian again, he had his arms crossed. He seemed to be waiting for you to continue speaking. It seemed like he had his mind sorted already and it was just you who needed to talk. You leaned over the edge of the balcony, avoiding eye contact. “Please do not misunderstand. I do like you. I just…” The emotions clogged your throat. Dorian slid into the space beside you. He put one of his strong arms across your shoulders, pulling you against him. You leaned against him, finding peace in his presence. Another calming breath helped you find your words again. “I have lost someone dear to me before… We did not even live a perilous life back then and we…” A rough chuckle escaped your tight throat. Dorian waited patiently for your every word. “I thought I would spend my life with him, but illness got a hold of him before our future could. I do not know if my heart is strong enough for another loss like that.”
You allowed yourself to lay your eyes upon Dorian again. For once, the Tevinter seemed to be serious. He pulled you close against him, resting his head against yours. “I cannot promise you will never lose me, but I can promise you that I will make every second of joy worth any possible moment of mourning.” His voice vibrated through your body, lulling you into comfort. “It is not good for the skin to be mourning me while I am still alive.”
You couldn’t suppress the chuckle bubbling up. You turned towards Dorian. He faced you, a confident smirk on his lips, but fear of rejection hidden in his eyes. “You’re right. I should not mourn you while you’re still breathing.” You caressed his face, playing briefly with that wonderful moustache. “I’d like to pick this up without the Orlesian court lurking around the corner, if you’d let me.”
Dorian took your hand and placed a gallant kiss on your knuckles. “I am quite looking forward to what exactly you will be picking up, Inquisitor.” His grin churned your insides in a way that was both frightening and delightful. “Until then.” His fingers lingered on yours as he slowly let go of your hand with a flirtatious wink. Dorian turned to walk away, hips swaying a little with every step he took to leave the balcony. He left you more fearful than ever, but also - for the first time in a long while - hopeful.
—————
REBLOG TO SUPPORT YOUR FANFIC WRITERS
Likes do not help exposure!A comment in tags or replies can sustain a writer for months!
If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you.
My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic.
When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die.
If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded.
Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing.
Fun story about the baristas doing this kind of shit.
I am very sensitive to lactose, not Lactose intolerant but because of stomach ulcers that are still healing. A couple years ago I went to Starbucks right after my classes with some friends and asked for a green tea latte with soy milk. The barista, for some reason out of malice and/or hate for her life so she took it out on me, gave me whole milk in my latte.
5 minutes after my first sip of latte, my stomach cramped BAD. Not the “Oh! time to poop!” kind of cramp but it felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and twisted it. Now I’ve had this happen before so I knew the cause of it. I went up to the barista clutching my gut screaming at her that she put dairy in my latte rather than soy LIKE I REQUESTED. She denied it and called me a “pretentious white girl for wanting soy”and so my friends got the manager. I had to explain that I had stomach ulcers that were still healing and if I were to go to the hospital for this incident, they would be responsible for it.
Manager flipped his shit and the barista was terrified out of her mind. Pretty sure both thought i was gonna sue. Manager actually fired her on the spot because of the negligence. My friends managed to get me home in one piece while I stayed home for 3 days in absolute agony and missed my midterm.
So remember kiddies, if someone is asking for Diet or “Skinny” or “soy” or anything that is not regular, give them what they requested because it may not be them being healthy, but a dietary need that can possibly be life or death
I have Celiac Disease, so I’m very gluten intolerant. When I go out to eat at restaurants a lot of people just assume that I asked for my food gluten free because of the gluten free diet fad (which is usually a bullshit diet btw).
Last month I went out to dinner with a friend at an italian restaurant that had a small gluten free menu. I had been there once before and had their gluten free pasta and it was great! I think one of the managers had been there and was super helpful when taking my order to make sure that everything was gluten free for me. When I ordered the gluten free pasta again this time though, the waitress who took my order all but rolled her eyes at me. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because the restaurant was so accommodating before, I just assumed it would be the same this time.
But sure enough, they brought out my pasta, I ate it, and about an hour later I had extreme stomach pains and was throwing up (in a movie theater no less).
Barfing and agonizing pain aside, eating gluten when you have celiac causes a lot of internal damage that’s hard to notice. The biggest thing is that it damages your intestines, preventing your body from absorbing nutrients properly, which can take months to heal.
So PLEASE, if you work at a restaurant or anything with food and someone asks for something a certain way, please listen to them and don’t just disregard someone’s order. It’s not funny and it can have serious consequences.
I will reblog this with every single story about someone getting sick because of an asshole giving them the opposite of what they ordered until it sinks in for everyone.
Recently on the news a 16 year old boy with a dairy allergy had gone to eat at IHOP with his family. The specifically asked if they could make dairy free pancakes and they said yes. Not too long after he had a reaction and was rushed to the hospital. This kid died because the was dairy in his pancakes that they asked for no dairy. His epi pen that his mother had wasn’t enough to help him. I know working in fast food or any job that’s serves food and beverage sucks but not as much as causing someone to get sick over negligence.
My youngest cousin – who is now five, he just started kindergarten – has Celiac’s disease. You would not BELEIVE the amount of times I’ve heard my aunt say she’s ordered something gluten free, only to watch the waiter or waitress’s eyes go huge when she gives it to my cousin – my cousin with the medical id band on his tiny five year old wrist proclaiming I HAVE CELIACS and have to take it back.
Shit like this could kill my cousin. Knock it the fuck off.
I cannot tolerate caffeine–it makes me have chest pain and a racing pulse, and also gives me horrible body pain, so I always ask for decaf if I order coffee when I’m out, and doublecheck with the waiter/ress when they bring it. but instead of saying “is this decaf like I asked for?” I always say “oh, did I remember to order decaf?” I shouldn’t have to act like I’m the forgetful one (because I know damn well I asked for decaf) but it seems to work better than implying that they screwed up when I take the blame on myself like that. and if there’s any hesitation when they answer, I tell them, “if there’s any doubt, please get another one, or just give me water–if this is regular, it’ll mess up my heart” and lots of times when I say that, they look alarmed and go change it or get another one.
but I shouldn’t HAVE to share my personal medical history with strangers just to get my order right! no one should! how is it their business? it makes me really uncomfortable to have to do that. JUST GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY ORDER!
As a diabetic, this would make me so beyond angry. Skinny doesn’t mean they don’t have a life threatening illness. Skinny doesn’t mean they can process sugar the way you do. People that do this are the worst kinds of people. DO NOT DO THIS!
Me and my family went to a restaurant a few years back and one of the dishes we ordered was made with wine vinegar, which I am allergic to, so we asked the waiter to skip it, and he said sure, no problem, that’s fine.
So my food gets to the table, and I start eating and then my throat closes and I can’t breathe and then I start coughing and throwing up right there in the middle of the restaurant and it was very fortunate that I was with my family and they knew what was happening to me.
I had to be rushed to the hospital, and admitted, and I came damn near close to having my throat cut open so I could breathe through a whole on my neck.
Because they put wine vinegar in my food when I explicitly told them not to, because they were assholes, and I could have died.
They probably didn’t mean to hurt me but they did. I missed class, and work, and, again, I COULD HAVE DIED.
i have cyclic vomiting syndrome and can’t tolerate dairy or red meat. violating my dietary restrictions triggers an acute episode, and i have to be hospitalized and given iv saline, ativan, and anti-emetics to stop the (extremely painful and incapacitating) vomiting. if somebody put regular milk instead of soy milk in my latte and i didn’t notice the taste immediately, i could wind up in the er and then spend several days in bed recovering, eating nothing but saltines and dry toast and clear liquids until my body was able to tolerate food again, unable to work or go out or do anything besides rest. whenever i go to starbucks, i WATCH them make my drink. cvs episodes are horrible and i hate them, and i can prevent them if i do everything right, but that means my damn barista has to cooperate. if somebody decided i was a stuck up white girl and gave me whole milk instead of soy they could put me in the hospital and cost me days of income. give ppl the food they fuckin order. it’s not that hard.
Reblogging because it’s so important. I’m “lucky” I don’t have any food allergies or intolerence, but it makes me mad when people take them not seriously, think you are picky or just following a “white girl diet fad”.
90% of people don’t take my cats and dog allergies seriously when I tell them I’m allergic and wondering if a cat or a dog is present at X place. They think it’s just watery eyes. Nope. Well yeah, watery and itchy eyes, but I start wo wheeze and have trouble breathing. They don’t give epi-pen for those (anyway you have to go to the hospital after) just inhaler. It’s no miracle, specially if I didn’t take other meds before.
When people tell you about their allergies or restriction, trust them!
Reblogging for all the stories here because this is sooo important!
I have a severe allergy to gluten and relate to MANY of the stories above. My daughter has a severe allergy to milk fat, and I have had to hold her hair many times while she vomits on the side of the road because we couldn’t even make it home from the “accidental” whole milk instead of skim.
I’m super lactose intolerant so accidental milk is always fun. Severe diarrhea, stomach cramps, bloating, and gas like you wouldn’t believe. Better than death you might say but, I have other medical conditions, so that diarrhea could lead to vomiting(it’s so bad the vomit comes out my mouth AND nose) and dehydration that in turn becomes low cortisol and adrenal crisis. A bitchy barista can land me in the hospital with an intramuscular shot and saline iv. Hun, it takes no time to listen and follow my order. It takes me at least 24 hours to get out of the hospital. Be nice.
I’m allergic to pork. Legit allergic. I can’t count how many times I’ve had to ask it off my food only to receive it with bacon or ham or something on it.
Please respect peoples food requests. It costs 0.00$ to not be a dick.
I actually have customers who say they’ll only eat at my restaurant when I’m there, because they know I require all policy to be followed, as in “I will kick you the fuck off your shift if you skimp,” if someone says the words “I have an allergy.” I developed our allergy policies, for that matter, because what we had in place before was “I guess you shouldn’t change your gloves … . ?” On my shifts your gloves get changed, that line gets wiped down with a new cloth, paper under EVERY ITEM for the person with the allergy, bag their food separately to prevent contact. If there’s a risk of cross-contamination with an allergen, like tomatoes in the guac because stuff spills when you’re moving as fast as we do, I’ll open a new bag of food. I learned the ingredients in every item we serve so I could advise people on hidden allergens (e.g., there’s a small amount of wheat in our beef as a thickener; we fry with safflower oil). We have a grease pencil to mark special builds and I use it liberally on allergy orders. If all of this sounds like overkill, you’ve never watched a child suffer from anaphylaxis. I don’t play around.
Like, I bitch about my job a lot, but food allergies and special needs are not something I will ever bitch about. Even if you’re a complete asshole I won’t risk contaminating your food. (Although people with allergies seem to be way nicer than the general population, I gotta say.) Don’t do it. If someone’s a petty asshole to you, give them too much ice in their drink. Don’t play with their health.
Reblogging this again because it is important. Doing the right thing has no cost but doing the wrong thing can cost a person’s life. Don’t be a dick, give the person what they ordered
Reblogging always. I especially hate that things that are legitimate concerns for people, EVEN LIFE AND DEATH SERIOUS, are taken as some kind of “fad” or “trend.” The benefit of a something becoming a trend is that it becomes more readily accessible.
The downside is when you actually need it, people assume it just for the trend.
Please don’t be this person. I beg you. Don’t sink to that level. Please.
I used to have a milk and eggs allergy as a child (as a baby to about kindergarten age). Both resulted in my having breathing issues and fainting. My parents had to always be watching what the hell went near me so that I wouldn’t have to go to the hospital because they weren’t sure what would happen when I fainted.
I don’t think you would want to be the one responsible for a toddler being sent to the ER, because a) you’d probably feel bad and b) the parents might sue.
Luckily I’ve grown out of it. But as a white bitch I don’t want to know what could’ve happened if I hadn’t grown out of them and had a negligent server at at restaurant…
Don’t question people when they order. It’ll save everybody the energy.
Why go out of your way to interfere with someone’s order like that? It honestly sounds like jealousy and bitterness. It doesn’t matter if you think someone is skinny or they’re just taking part in another diet fad and they won’t notice, YOUR ONLY JOB IS TO SERVE THEM WHAT THEY ORDERED!
IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT THEY CONSUME! DON’T BE A NASTY CUNT BECAUSE YOU HAVE YOUR OWN ISSUES!
You have no idea what your customer’s health is like, so grow up and just serve what you’re asked to serve. You aren’t paid to give diet advice to the customer, you are not paid to send them to the hospital.
also, dont fucking assume all skinny people are on a diet
im pretty damn skinny, it is not because i watch what i eat
its because i have fast metabolism.
and along with everything else the other reblogs have said, why the fuck would you purposefully fuck with someone elses order???? what kind of dick move is that??
as someone with celiac it is SO IMPORTANT that you give someone the order they asked for!! it could make them really sick!! if you want the logistics, someone with a disorder like mine would have issues absorbing the proper nutrients from food for the next few days!!!
ALWAYS give someone EXACTLY what they ordered. you could cause so much harm if you don’t.
allergies, diabetes, celiac, so many different reasons to follow someone’s order!!
This is fucked up. I’d never mess with anyone’s food. I don’t have food allergies, I have sensory adversions. If somebody did that to me, I’d be mad. I can’t imagine someone doing that to someone with a real health condition that could kill them.
also the “white skinny girls” doing the “fads” probably have eating disorders, or might be recovering from a surgery, or might be mentally ill so they can’t consume caffeine/salt/vinegar/sugar/etc due to it triggering somatic symptoms or interacting badly with treatment
also why someone says they don’t want something is none of your business?
[ post prison diego: I don't think he went to Mia's grave when he was Godot, i think he probably didn't believe he deserved to when he woke up. after so many years he'll finally be ready :) ]
THIS IS SO FUCKING IMPORTANT! My best friend was turned into a meme on 4chan and 9gag and shit with everyone slut shaming her, and its fucking heartbreaking. People don’t understand the horror of seeing a picture of themselves on the internet with hundreds of thousands of people making fun of them. these people will most likely see these pictures online at some point. Theres no telling how they will react. Theres no telling what personal damage will occur to their self esteem. Do not post pictures of strangers on the internet. Do not reblog/repost these pictures either. Especially if they’re children. That is all.
andulkaphoto
dailybridgerton
areudirty
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