In Ten Years
https://www.theisolationjournals.com/explore/128-a-day-in-the-life-of-my-dreams-hollye-jacobs?rq=dream
Ten years from now… I am 34. My parents will be in their early 60s. My brother 31. Ahhhhhh what.
It’s a Monday morning (but what are days really). I wake up with the kids and make breakfast. I feel exhausted, because alone time is hard to come by these days. Nothing prepared me for this. I am reminded of the time ten years ago, when I was in a GC full of people in this stage. It is just as hard and busy as it sounded.
Husband is off to work. I go over to mom’s and dad’s to drop off the kids for a few hours so I can run some errands. I’m so thankful they wanted to be around. I’m so thankful.
I go to Costco, then Hmart. I take the dogs for a walk. The dogs are as much work as I thought they would be, but I still love them so much. Totally worth it. Even though they pee on the carpet sometimes and still bark at our neighbors.
Is this the life of my dreams? When I was younger, my dreams were more extravagant, like becoming a professor of law, a judge, or a government attorney. Or something like working with North Korean defectors or in economic development. Something that signaled intelligence, influence, importance. Something meaningful, and with passion. A worthy cause. A valuable member of society.
I didn’t think the stay-at-home mom life would ever be for me. I had too many interests. Aspirations. And the work ethic! I studied my butt off for 16 years. It seems disjointed, but I know it was really a privilege to have been able to study so hard in my childhood through college. To not have any other worries. Privilege upon privilege.
I think of my education as a rite of passage. Dictated by society. But who is society? We are. Obviously, I was too naive to really think outside the lines, but I just followed the guidelines all the way through my first job in consulting. What a time that was. I try to use my education in the best way I can. To build others up. To share what I have. Maybe in another season I will go back to work, or follow through with that move or otherwise. But for now, I am content.
I miss the old days where I would host dinner parties in my apartment in Arlington, or when I would play volleyball at least once a week. When I had the time to read and write as I pleased (though I didn’t always take advantage of it). When I would go into DC every weekend to see a different friend or try a new restaurant. When every day offered the excitement of a new opportunity or interaction. When every day seemed to be a step towards defining who I was becoming.
I know I’m still growing. Life looks different now, again. It’s always changing. It’s hard to keep up. The next thing comes as soon as you feel like you have gotten used to the a new season.
I set the table for dinner. Kimchi jjigae. My favorite. Husband comes home from work. We’re all tired, but it’s okay. The kids finally go to sleep and we have a few hours to catch up about our days. It’s nice to unwind like this. To feel heard and supported and be encouraged to do better. Tomorrow, I’m excited because I’m finally grabbing lunch with some friends. I’m thankful for all the people in my life. Thankful to God.










