Low sense of identity

The Fluorite System's BPD blog.

[animentality]

[adustoflove]

Sexuality with bpd is so confusing. I'm temporarily attracted to anyone who looks my way or says even one kind word

[traumatizeddfox]

being ignored is painful but being ignored by the creator is somehow gut wrenching

[cccat-in-a-meat-sack]

me, with both:...

[adustoflove]

It gets so old watching people have and get the things you so badly want. I just sit there hoping one day, it'll be me. But I've hoped for so long with so little in return that I'm finally starting to realize that it will never be me. I was born with the promise of being pitiful and undeserving.

[bpd-suggestions]

[drifting-bones]

thinking you're being overdramatic and paranoid over nothing only to be proven completely right is such a sickening feeling.

[flittermousemoth]

Just like that I’m done. One insult and you’re fucking out of my life.

[unmedicated-momma]

[thefluoritebpd]

It's the best coping mechanism

(Made by me)

-host

[thefluoritebpd]

One of the worst things about BPD is the addiction to pain. You feel so hollow that when you feel any kind of pain, you want to continue it for no reason other than to at the very least feel something. I was just watching a triggering video and continued to trigger myself further, I started crying, and I still didn't stop. And now that I'm calm, I have no idea what to do with it, and the emptiness that came back, so I want to trigger myself again. Because even with all the mood swings, you're still hollow. That's probably why so many borderlines refer to self-harm as a coping mechanism. Love and pain are probably the strongest emotions I've ever felt, and that's probably why abusive relationships felt right in the past.

But also knowing this feels like people would diminish my pain, to he honest. I know it doesn't, and I still have trauma, I'm hurting, it doesn't matter who triggered me... but still.

-host

[bl0w-m3]

[thefluoritebpd]

Splitting splitting splitting splitting splitting I can't breathe, and no one understands, no one makes an effort to understand, no one cares, right?? Splitting

-host

[unmedicated-momma]

Ooh, somebody called me out

[nerium-lemontree]

U-huh, I don't want to be demisexual and have BPD at the same time anymore. That's a recipe for disaster.

[thefluoritebpd]

YES IT IS, I'M BOTH.

-host

[fatherlessmoth]

My partner just said "you aren't in your villain era you're having an episode" and if that isn't the ultimate cluster b culture idk what is

[cluster-b-culture-is]

bpd culture is feeling like your fp hates you because they aren’t messaging you daily anymore, or because they stop messaging after you say something and your brain immediately rationalizes that you did something wrong. it’s your fault. you did it again.

.