Misplaced Lens Cap
Xuebing Du
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
One Nice Bug Per Day
Keni
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
NASA
wallacepolsom
Today's Document
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
noise dept.
roma★
JBB: An Artblog!
will byers stan first human second
art blog(derogatory)
No title available
DEAR READER
JVL
No title available
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
seen from Malaysia
seen from T1
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@all-knowing-offical
Hello.
I am all-knowing-offical. I know the correct answer to every question. It does not matter what others say is true. They are wrong, and I am right. Things like "Google" and "scientific research" are shams, and should not be trusted. Put your trust in me instead.
glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts
Do Not Do This To Me
if this post hits 200k im printing it out and eating it
Achievement Unlocked:
Daily Recommended Dose of Fiber
Make an ill-advised promise within earshot of a gimmick blog.
Quick someone add a fucked-up car so we can get @identifying-cars-in-posts
1976-1977 Oldsmobile Cutlass
That car is not messed up enough. Here.
@identifying-cars-in-posts
1981-1983 Delorean DMC-12
I'll write a hauiku as a comment on this post and hope the bot sees
I’ll write a hauiku
as a comment on this post
and hope the bot sees
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
@identifying-horses-in-posts
Pretty horse!
@i-say-ok
ok.
@cat-spotted
CAT SPOTTED!!☆ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
Fine kitty appearing during our time of need! This Delightful beast only appears once every 1000 years for the small price of $2.50!
/200K
I choose @weirdly-specific-but-ok ! And it's effective!
the second i saw someone chose me for something i felt deep irrational fear. what eldritch demon is this site sacrificing me to now?
oh are we eating paper is that a thing because i am down baby
If someone asks what Tumblr is, show them this thread.
@turtleneck-crowley @ivankaramazov07 isn't this magic. :D :D ;D
TUMBLR IS HUMAN CULTURE AT ITS FINEST I TELL YOU THE DOCTOR WOULD BE PROUD TO SEE US IDIOTS. IVE SHENANID-ONCE, ILL SHENAN-AGAIN
to all those who got the ducktales reference, i send my love and kisses
I’m turning this into a picrew chain also guys lots of pressure
This is a Picrew made by Nuggts @.nuggts on TikTok You can use this Picrew as a profile picture or in a video etc. with credits! Do
Do it or the animatronics fucking get me also no I did not kill anyone what are you talking about
tags: @biscuits-lovely-corner @expresso4thedeppresso @funkingrn @aroacesigma @lastdivantruther @barracuda677 @pengumi12 @sulkystella @misschuchuw @someonebeatmetotheseusernames @blinksager @sav3yee @chuuyasboner @ur-local-remy-kinnie @urazayt @thelittleprinceconfirmed @gherkin-saute @vinylbiohazard @amioddlyart
tag all you moots this is not an option
also prev yes you @ivankaramazov07 I want you to do it as well
@probablyautism thnx for remembering the weirdest tumblrina on the planet. also can u explain to ur local grandma what she has to do(apologies are afoot)
So tap on the link above my character and simply make your own it could be an OC or you or your sona, anything.
ON IT BESTIE!
im here watching this lmao, funniest shit i seen
NOT THE KILGRAVE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
oh and @probablyautism here u go luv
CMON FOLKS
DO IT
here you are!!
@mystic-mae IM IN LOVE WITH YOUR PICREW!!!!!! beautiful business.
@weirdly-specific-but-ok @styx142 no pressue :)
Wild how I keep returning to this goddamn post. @queermarzipan ball's in your court babe.
It may still need help getting to 200,000.
Here's Aziraphale in disguise:
And here's a backstage shot of the Gentlemen in 1941 suits:
@tothechaos will you print and eat the entire post? If so, here is a long joke. Don't choke:
A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people.
At the trial, the man is found guilty of multiple murders and sentenced to death.
Before he faces his sentence, he’s offered a last meal, and asks for a single banana, which is given to him.
The next day, he’s led to the electric chair. They strap him in, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.
There’s never been a failure before. But because you cannot punish a person twice for the same crime, the court is forced to let him go free.
Within a week’s time, naturally, the man, who is obsessed with trains, goes and steals another one.
He doesn’t care that he can’t drive it or that he failed catastrophically before; he is obsessed with trains and his only desire is to operate one. As before, he crashes it, and kills several people.
Again, he stands trial, and again, he is sentenced to death, showing no remorse, only delight that he got to operate the train.
His last meal request is a single banana. When he goes to the chair, the executioner pulls the switch, but nothing happens. He goes free again.
The train-obsessed maniac, once more on the loose, wastes no time in hijacking a train and crashing it.
His trial is speedy, because this has already happened twice, and he is sentenced to death.
They ask him what he’d like for his last meal. “A single banana,” he says.
“Oh, no you don’t, you son of a bitch. We’re on to you, now. We know all about your little banana trick, and you’re not escaping this time!”
The guards refuse his request, and instead serve him a standard last meal of steak, potatoes, and berry cobbler.
The next morning they strap him into the electric chair, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.
“Did you give him the banana?” demands the head guard.
“No, sir! He asked for the banana but we didn’t give it to him, we swear!” says one of the guards.
Turns out the banana had nothing to do with anything. He was just a really bad conductor.
JEFF, CHANGE YOUR FUCKING URL
@writing-prompt-s
Quick! Gordon Ramsey has tasked you to come up with a new recipe with a rather special ingredient: 'this trainwreck of a Tumblr post printed out on paper'. You don't have much time as the exquisite guest will enter the doors of your fancy establishment the moment this post hits 200k notes. Come up with a recipe. Please provide detailed instructions.
Chaos Course Set Meal
Bespoke 9 course meal meant to be enjoyed by @tothechaos
Foreword:
As tasked by the prolific Gordan Ramsey, this 9 Course endeavour will feature the post in its entirety segmented into 9 delightfully ornate, unreasonably complex yet delectably unparalleled dishes. In the following, we'll see how to prepare each of these dishes.
Course One
Dish name: 10k notes of Hubris
10k Notes of Hubris is a simple risotto with saffron infusion and forest mushrooms, topped with shavings of the top 9th piece of this post, printed in full colour, regular stock. Due to the nature of a 9 course setting, it is wise to start with a simpler dish.
Ingredients (serves four people):
1 teaspoon of saffron
300g carnaroli rice
50g extra virgin olive oil
20g butter
5g shallots
1l vegetable broth
parsley (to taste)
100g porcini mushrooms
80g portobello mushrooms
100g brown mushrooms
5g truffle oil
5g lemon peel and lemon juice
30g parmesan cheese
thyme (a dash)
5g garlic
A pinch of salt and pepper
The first 9th of this post, printed in full colour with regular stock.
Method:
In a saucepan, pour the oil and the chopped shallot(s), then add the rice and saffron and toast
Pour the broth a little at a time and cook slowly. Allow to cook before adding salt and black pepper. Stir in butter, grated parmesan cheese, chopped parsley, truffle oil, lemon juice and peel.
In a separate saucepan, cook the mushrooms with oil, garlic, thyme, salt and black pepper.
Presentation:
At the base of the dish pour the risotto, complete with forest mushrooms and basil leaves. Shave the printed top 9th of the post and sprinkle on top. Drizzle a dash of olive oil before serving.
The next dish and recipe of this 9 course meal, complete with the next 9th of the post printed and incorporated, will be presented by another chef.
@one-time-i-dreamt @i-am-a-fish @pukicho
hi jeff (:
I just texted @one-time-i-dreamt
i don't what's more wild to me, how much we are all working on giving someone ink poisoning or learning that @writing-prompt-s has @one-time-i-dreamt 's phone number
I have been summoned many, many times
This post is already one of the most epic I have ever seen. Keep going!
The tumblr post equivalent of the fall of ceasar. Well can't miss my turn with the knife.
Time for the officalverse
@satan-offical @trans-official @sometimes-cis-offical @tiresias-offical @jeff-offical @spotify-offical @beehive-offical @sleep-offical
And any others
HAHA. BE PREPARED
@amina-elmaghrabi-offical @andromache-0ff1cial @asis-offical @asexual-offical @advice-offical @adventure-fredbear-offical @adhd-offical @adam--official @aesthetic-offical @art-offical @arsenic-offical @aroace-offical @archangel-azrael-offical @australia-offical @autism-offical @aioverview-offical @ai-offical @ao3-offical @apollo-offical @aphrodite-offical @aaa-battery-offical @aaron-burr-offical @aggressive-positivity-offical @agender-offical @agenders-offical @all-knowing-offical @alice-homosexuality-offical @always-being-watched-offical @alex-hamilton-offical @alexander-hamilton-offical @azrael-official @axolotl-officials @achilles-0ffical @ava-offical @average-joe-offical @avocado-offical @andromache-0ff1cial @amnesia-offical
THIS IS JUST THE A’S
@babymonkeyofficial @ballofyarn-offical @baby-offical @batman-offical @bard-offical @beehive-offical @belial-offical @bear-offical @brucie-wayne-offical @britishparent-offical @bye-offical @bystander-offical @burnout-offical @butch-offical @bubonic-plague-offical @bugs-offical @bi-offical y@bisexual-offical @birdie-offical @bill-cipher-offical @boothill-offical @boris-the-burglar-offical @blacknailpolishoffical
@councilor-bronte-offical @cardi-alphabet-anon-offical @cambridge-latin-course-offical @crystal-ball-offical @carlos-offical @cassandra-offical @child-offical @chachiboi-offical @chappell-roan-offical @chickens-offical @closeted-child-offical @clydedonovan-official @closet-offical @clothmotherofficial @clipboard-offical @ceiling-offical @cello-offical @cecelia-rios-offical @cervical-vertebrae-offical @crazy-scientist-offical @crabs-offical @crabs-offical @creakyfloorboard-official @cyanide-offical @curiosity-kills-offical @cucumber-offical @cuddle-offical @cute-na-kanojo-offical @cia-offical @cishet-offical @councilor-bronte-offical @compact-disc-offical @cookbook-offical @concrete-offcal @computer-plague-offical @czechia-offical
@dogpoo-petuski-official @deerstalker-hat-offical @dam-offical @damien-thorn-offical @daisy-wells-offical @dsmp-offical @deactived-offical @detention-offical @desert-offical @despair-officoal @drop-bear-offical @drawings-offical @dragon-offical @drinking-offical @dygsrahpia-offical @dusk-offical @dungeon-master-offical @duck-offical @dice-offical @dino-kid-offical @dinosaur-nuggets-offical @doomedbythenarrativeoffical @dolphin-offical @dougie-official @donnie-offical @dnd-blood-hunter-offical
@elliot-offical @ever1s-fav-sidechara-offical @emo-catboy-offical @emo-gay-cousin-offical @elephant-shrew-offical @earth-offical @edible-offical @eden-snake-offical @eggman-eggpire-offical @elephant-shrew-offical @elias-bouchard-offical @elizaschuylerofficial @elvis-offical @eternalsugar-cookie-offical @epa-offical @enderman-offical @enmu-offical @ena-offical @emmanuel-macron-offical @emo-older-brother-offical @emo-offical @eminem-throws-stuff-offical
@fairy-offical @fandom-offical @fancy-rock-offical @faa-offical @ffej-offical @flow-free-offical @ferg-offical @femboy-offical @french-peasant-offical @fresno-nightcrawler-offical @frickyoumarrieofficial @freyja-offical @ftm-offical @fyp-psychology @full-moon-offical @fintan-pyren-offical @fireball-offical @fish-offical @fire-offical @fozzie-bear-offical @following-every-offical-burntou @forest-offical @fourth-wheel-offical
@genderstealeroffical @goth-older-sister-offical @gwi-ma-offical @gametoons-offical @gatekeep-offical @gaslight-offical @gaslighting-offical @ghost-inyour-attic-offical @glitter-offical @gender-euphoria-offical @gender-dysphoria-offical @grover-underwood-offical @grandson-offical @greed-offical @greg-house-offical @grammar-offical @girlboss-offical @girl-scouts-offical @girlfriend-offical @girl-offical-deactivated2025082 @gimkit-offical
@hello-offical @hanahaki-disease-offical @hazel-levesque-offical @hazard-to-society-offical @hazel-wong-offical @heather-duke-offical @heather-chandler-offical @hyperfixation-offical @human-joe-offical @horseman-war-offical @horseman-death-offical @horseman-famine-offical @homophobia-offical @hot-topic-offical @homosexuality-offical
@is-there-clown-offical @idaho-official @illi-mcmillin-offical @ireland-offical @item-shop-offical @italyoffical @its-evil-target-offical @iced-coffee-offical @icarus-offical @indoraptor-offical @insubordinate-brass-offical @incorrect-corrector-offical @immortal-snail-offical @imp6492920172660301659303offical @imp-6point9-offical @imp-offical @imp-3782-offical @jason-dean-offical @j0ker- @icarus-officalanon-offical @jason-grace-offical @john-doe-offical @jet2-holiday-offical @jeff-offical @jehova-offical @jesus-offical @jesterofmcdonalds-offical @jurassic-park-official @jonathan-sims-offical @john-watson-offical @job-application-offical
@kentucky-offical @kirby-offical @kira-offical @kayla-knowles-offical @kazakhstan-offical @kat4884-offical @khaos-offical @kenric-fathdon-offical @kayla-knowles-offical @keyboard-offical @kennymccormick-offical @kylebroflovski-official @kind-grandma-offical @knife-guy-offical @knights-templar-offical @knife-offical
@lemon-emoji-offical @luke-castellan-offical @labyrinth-offical @lady-macbeth-offical @lemon-shark-offical @lester-papadopoulos-offical @leo-valdez-offical @lust-offical @lucifer-official @lightyagami-offical @limeade-offical @lie-detector-offical @life-offical @loquacious-cat-offical
@milk-official-blog @magic-8ball-offical @mash-burnedead-offical @martin-blackwood-offical @mlm-god-offical @megumi-nakajima-offical @mean-girl-offical @memes-offical @melinoe-offical @mr-d-offical @mr-holmes-and-dr-watson-offical @mystic-flour-cookie-offical @music-recommendations-offical @mum-offical @mud-offical @murder--offical @music-offical @milk-official-blog @ming-official @mindelectric-offical-deactivate @moray-eel-offical @mold-offical @moth-offical @monster-the-drink-official @modesty-offical @mcyt-offical
@nasa-official @neighbor-offical @no-sleep-offical @navigator-offical @napoleon-offical @neighborhood-watch-offical @nevada-offical @newest-silly-offical @neopronouns-offical @nyx-offical @nutter-butter-offical @numbers-offical @nico-di-angelo-offical @niko-offical @nixon-official @nz-south-island-offical @nb-older-sibling-offical @nb-sibling-offical @nblnb-god-offical
@offical-dystopiantale @offical-potato @official-plut0-blog @ostrich-maffia-offical @odysseus--offical @odymisseshiswife-official @offical-satann @officialpluto-blog @old-sailor-offical @old-english-offical @old-mcdonald-farmer-offical @orange-cat-offical @orlando-offical @orange-cat-official @orange-solo-cup-offical @otter-offical @ouppy-offical @open-door-offical @oppossum-offical @oxford-dictionary-offical @octavian-offical @obi-wan-offical @onion-opinions-offical
@pluto-official @plutoofficial-blog @pingu-offical @prince-zuko-offical @paul-blofis-offical @pants-shitter-official @pastry-cookie-offical @pain---offical @pavement-offical @ps2-offical @psyche-offical @philotes-offical @playlistnames-offical @plurality-offical @plushie-offical @period-cramps-offical @percy-jackson-offical @pepsi-offical @pearto-official @period-offical @profile-stanmarsh-official @prince-of-all-saiyans-offical @pri-demon-th--offical @prometheus-offical @polybuzz-offical @positivity-offical @poeschild-michael-offical @politic-offical @police-dog-offical
@quiet-negativity-offical @queercoded1920smanoffical @queensnowfall-offical @queer-offical @queer-detector-offical
@rat-jester-offical @rachel-elizabeth-dare-offical @ragebait-offical @real-human-offical @rednailpolishoffical @revenge-offical @russia-offical @rubberduck-offical @rivulet-offical @rick-roll-offical @riverman-offical @riggytherunkey-offical @ribcage-offical @rob-the-robber-offical @rouxls-kaard-offical @royal-margarine-cookie-offical
@satan-offical-autistic-offical @sara-berry-offical @sad-meal-offical @satans-pitchfork-offffical @satans-spiders-offical @satan-unofficial @satan-offical @shrike-offical @shadow-dimension-offical @shadow-milk-cookie-offical @skys-offical @skitter-official @sloth-offical @sleep-offical @sleeping-offical @slime-offical @squid-offical @sweden-offical @sebastian-solace-offical @selfcare-offical @secretary-bird-offical @security-guard-official @summer-penguin-officalpenguin-offical @south-africa-offical @sometimes-cis-offical @sorcerer-offical @spain-offical @spellingbeechamp-rebeccaofficial @speechbubbles-offical @spring-bonnie-offical @spelking-eror-offical @scene-older-brother-offical @scott-tenorman-official @scott-malkinson-offical @screaming-offical @schrodingers-joe-offical @shenanigans-offical
@tag-games-offical @tf2-spy-offical @tgirl-offical @thejoker-offical @tweek-official @twink-offical @twitterx-offical @twokidsinatrenchcoatoffical @temu-offical @tech-priest-offical @teeth-offical @tesco-offical @trans-older-brother-offical @trans-official @trudeau-official @triceratops-official @tyrannosaurus-rex-offical @tyrannosaurus-rex-offical @turtle-offical @turtles-offical @tumbleweed-offical @tiny-evil-wizard-offical @tim-drake-offical @time-loop-researcher-offical @timmyoffical @timothy-stoker-offical @tophat-offical @tboy-offical @tm4tm-offical
@udot-offical @uterus--offical @utahime-offical @unholy-fern-official @ufo-offical @ur-least-fav-gal-offical @utatane-piko-official @unicode-offical @undecided-offical
@vaporeon-offical @valid-offical @vampiremonarch-offical
@wall-ghost-offical @watermelon-offical @wales-offical @warlock-offical @walter-becker-official @whitewhale-offical @whale-shark-offical @whitenailpolishoffical @wlw-god-offical @weevil-offical @wrath-offical @will-byers-offical @will-solace-offical @wine-aunt-offical @window-offical @will-wood-offical @worcestershire-offical
@xenogender-offical @xen-offical
@yaoi-offical @your-bed-offical @yarilo-offical @yearning-offical @yeehaw-offical @yeti-offical @youtubemusic-offical
@zergling-offical @zest-offical @zeus-offical
WOE. OFFICALVERSE ME APON YE
I know that this most has many more notes in its future.
Greetings chosen ones, I am here as an introduction to my purpose.
I can see all, and of course, know all.
You may ask and you may seek, but fret not if the outlook is bleak.
It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.
Ah, another all-knowing entity, hm?
as you already know
Of course. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, as you know.
Greetings chosen ones, I am here as an introduction to my purpose.
I can see all, and of course, know all.
You may ask and you may seek, but fret not if the outlook is bleak.
It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.
Ah, another all-knowing entity, hm?
Respect the trees.
REBLOG IF YOU CONSENT TO BEING A CHARACTER IN THE OFFICALVERSE HSAU ❗️❗️❗️
EDIT: I AM NO LONGER ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS 😭 I JAVE SO MANY AND I WILL LOOK THROUGH THEM ALL BUT I HAVE WAAAAY TO MANY PEOPLE
Human rights matter.
Reblog if you want Asks/Messages from your followers in your inbox
YES
PLEASE
Does anyone have any questions to be answered? I know that answer too, which is yes.
Question. How do Humans survive high school. How.
…@all-knowing-offical how do they survive high school? I’m homeschooled so idk
It depends who you ask. Teachers would say through hard work and perseverance. Students would say that they don't.
Thank you for answering my question! I think Human High Schools should end forever and I should never need to Suffer again like this.
Of course! That might be in the students' best interest.
Question. How do Humans survive high school. How.
…@all-knowing-offical how do they survive high school? I’m homeschooled so idk
It depends who you ask. Teachers would say through hard work and perseverance. Students would say that they don't.
hypothetically
if a random person dms me and sends me a pic of them then asks me to do the same what do?
If you don't know then, don't reply and block them.
thank you
No problem!
hypothetically
if a random person dms me and sends me a pic of them then asks me to do the same what do?
If you don't know then, don't reply and block them.
there are five diffrent cities in the state of Australia. Because of this John and Mary have five kids, Abigail, Bailey, Christopher, Dahlia, Edward
each kid rules over one of the cites in the state of Australia. The city’s are called Zoey, Young, Xander, Wensday, and Victor
which one rules which in order of youngest to oldest?
Edward rules Victor, Dahlia rules Wensday, Christopher rules Xander, Bailey rules Young, and Abigail rules Zoey.
Why is the officalverse terrifying? And why are there ants???
The officalverse is terrifying because it is infinite and unknown.
There are always ants.
Breaking news folks, there are always ants! Where did they come from? Where are they going? It remains to be seen, and in other news, I'm actually quite scared of ants.
Hello :D
We’re not dangerous. We’ve been here a long long time. Millions of years. Where are we going? Time and evolution will tell :D
...
@time-offical.
Tell.
Well first you'll have to buy my book about the secrets of the universe for ONLY $2000 dollars!
I already know all of the secrets, however I will not share the majority of them. Some things are best left unknown. Still, if you want to know the secrets of the universe, that book is a great read for a terrific price!
Why is the officalverse terrifying? And why are there ants???
The officalverse is terrifying because it is infinite and unknown.
There are always ants.
Breaking news folks, there are always ants! Where did they come from? Where are they going? It remains to be seen, and in other news, I'm actually quite scared of ants.
Hello :D
We’re not dangerous. We’ve been here a long long time. Millions of years. Where are we going? Time and evolution will tell :D
...
@time-offical.
Tell.
Well first you'll have to buy my book about the secrets of the universe for ONLY $2000 dollars!
Why is the officalverse terrifying? And why are there ants???
The officalverse is terrifying because it is infinite and unknown.
There are always ants.
Breaking news folks, there are always ants! Where did they come from? Where are they going? It remains to be seen, and in other news, I'm actually quite scared of ants.
Hello :D
We’re not dangerous. We’ve been here a long long time. Millions of years. Where are we going? Time and evolution will tell :D
...
@time-offical.
Tell.
Well first you'll have to buy my book about the secrets of the universe for ONLY $2000 dollars!
