JVL
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
trying on a metaphor
hello vonnie
roma★
izzy's playlists!
cherry valley forever
sheepfilms
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Janaina Medeiros
will byers stan first human second
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
ellievsbear
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
KIROKAZE
AnasAbdin
blake kathryn
Claire Keane
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from Malaysia
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
@fishpostings
@ me in posts you want rated
hello i am fishpostings. call me ur favorite species of fish. ill know youre summoning me. they/them.
#fish: for fish postings.
#fish thinks: for fish thoughts.
# fish favs: fishposter's favorites.
(p.s. yes I know not all marine life are considered fish but the blog is called fishpostings so I can't really do anything about it)
i should start beefing with another blog to gain traction and clout
@fishpostings
FISH WAR 2.O FISH WAR 2.O
fight me i Dare You
my dad could beat up your dad
my dad's literally a great white shark no you couldn't
im built different. i got that crab in me.
crab? more like drab. you're built like a shrimp- you couldn't take down a baby shark.
come at me then
STAB STAB STAB. STABS YOU. STAB.
guys they haven't responded in a month i think i won !!!
i should start beefing with another blog to gain traction and clout
@fishpostings
FISH WAR 2.O FISH WAR 2.O
fight me i Dare You
my dad could beat up your dad
my dad's literally a great white shark no you couldn't
im built different. i got that crab in me.
crab? more like drab. you're built like a shrimp- you couldn't take down a baby shark.
come at me then
STAB STAB STAB. STABS YOU. STAB.
i should start beefing with another blog to gain traction and clout
@fishpostings
FISH WAR 2.O FISH WAR 2.O
fight me i Dare You
my dad could beat up your dad
my dad's literally a great white shark no you couldn't
im built different. i got that crab in me.
crab? more like drab. you're built like a shrimp- you couldn't take down a baby shark.
i should start beefing with another blog to gain traction and clout
@fishpostings
FISH WAR 2.O FISH WAR 2.O
fight me i Dare You
my dad could beat up your dad
my dad's literally a great white shark no you couldn't
i should start beefing with another blog to gain traction and clout
@fishpostings
FISH WAR 2.O FISH WAR 2.O
fight me i Dare You
i should start beefing with another blog to gain traction and clout
@fishpostings
FISH WAR 2.O FISH WAR 2.O
glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts
Do Not Do This To Me
if this post hits 200k im printing it out and eating it
Achievement Unlocked:
Daily Recommended Dose of Fiber
Make an ill-advised promise within earshot of a gimmick blog.
Quick someone add a fucked-up car so we can get @identifying-cars-in-posts
1976-1977 Oldsmobile Cutlass
That car is not messed up enough. Here.
@identifying-cars-in-posts
1981-1983 Delorean DMC-12
I'll write a hauiku as a comment on this post and hope the bot sees
I’ll write a hauiku
as a comment on this post
and hope the bot sees
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
@identifying-horses-in-posts
Pretty horse!
@i-say-ok
ok.
@cat-spotted
CAT SPOTTED!!☆ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
Fine kitty appearing during our time of need! This Delightful beast only appears once every 1000 years for the small price of $2.50!
/200K
I choose @weirdly-specific-but-ok ! And it's effective!
the second i saw someone chose me for something i felt deep irrational fear. what eldritch demon is this site sacrificing me to now?
oh are we eating paper is that a thing because i am down baby
If someone asks what Tumblr is, show them this thread.
@turtleneck-crowley @ivankaramazov07 isn't this magic. :D :D ;D
TUMBLR IS HUMAN CULTURE AT ITS FINEST I TELL YOU THE DOCTOR WOULD BE PROUD TO SEE US IDIOTS. IVE SHENANID-ONCE, ILL SHENAN-AGAIN
to all those who got the ducktales reference, i send my love and kisses
I’m turning this into a picrew chain also guys lots of pressure
This is a Picrew made by Nuggts @.nuggts on TikTok You can use this Picrew as a profile picture or in a video etc. with credits! Do
Do it or the animatronics fucking get me also no I did not kill anyone what are you talking about
tags: @biscuits-lovely-corner @expresso4thedeppresso @funkingrn @aroacesigma @lastdivantruther @barracuda677 @pengumi12 @sulkystella @misschuchuw @someonebeatmetotheseusernames @blinksager @sav3yee @chuuyasboner @ur-local-remy-kinnie @urazayt @thelittleprinceconfirmed @gherkin-saute @vinylbiohazard @amioddlyart
tag all you moots this is not an option
also prev yes you @ivankaramazov07 I want you to do it as well
@probablyautism thnx for remembering the weirdest tumblrina on the planet. also can u explain to ur local grandma what she has to do(apologies are afoot)
So tap on the link above my character and simply make your own it could be an OC or you or your sona, anything.
ON IT BESTIE!
im here watching this lmao, funniest shit i seen
NOT THE KILGRAVE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
oh and @probablyautism here u go luv
CMON FOLKS
DO IT
here you are!!
@mystic-mae IM IN LOVE WITH YOUR PICREW!!!!!! beautiful business.
@weirdly-specific-but-ok @styx142 no pressue :)
Wild how I keep returning to this goddamn post. @queermarzipan ball's in your court babe.
It may still need help getting to 200,000.
Here's Aziraphale in disguise:
And here's a backstage shot of the Gentlemen in 1941 suits:
@tothechaos will you print and eat the entire post? If so, here is a long joke. Don't choke:
A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people.
At the trial, the man is found guilty of multiple murders and sentenced to death.
Before he faces his sentence, he’s offered a last meal, and asks for a single banana, which is given to him.
The next day, he’s led to the electric chair. They strap him in, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.
There’s never been a failure before. But because you cannot punish a person twice for the same crime, the court is forced to let him go free.
Within a week’s time, naturally, the man, who is obsessed with trains, goes and steals another one.
He doesn’t care that he can’t drive it or that he failed catastrophically before; he is obsessed with trains and his only desire is to operate one. As before, he crashes it, and kills several people.
Again, he stands trial, and again, he is sentenced to death, showing no remorse, only delight that he got to operate the train.
His last meal request is a single banana. When he goes to the chair, the executioner pulls the switch, but nothing happens. He goes free again.
The train-obsessed maniac, once more on the loose, wastes no time in hijacking a train and crashing it.
His trial is speedy, because this has already happened twice, and he is sentenced to death.
They ask him what he’d like for his last meal. “A single banana,” he says.
“Oh, no you don’t, you son of a bitch. We’re on to you, now. We know all about your little banana trick, and you’re not escaping this time!”
The guards refuse his request, and instead serve him a standard last meal of steak, potatoes, and berry cobbler.
The next morning they strap him into the electric chair, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.
“Did you give him the banana?” demands the head guard.
“No, sir! He asked for the banana but we didn’t give it to him, we swear!” says one of the guards.
Turns out the banana had nothing to do with anything. He was just a really bad conductor.
JEFF, CHANGE YOUR FUCKING URL
@writing-prompt-s
Quick! Gordon Ramsey has tasked you to come up with a new recipe with a rather special ingredient: 'this trainwreck of a Tumblr post printed out on paper'. You don't have much time as the exquisite guest will enter the doors of your fancy establishment the moment this post hits 200k notes. Come up with a recipe. Please provide detailed instructions.
Chaos Course Set Meal
Bespoke 9 course meal meant to be enjoyed by @tothechaos
Foreword:
As tasked by the prolific Gordan Ramsey, this 9 Course endeavour will feature the post in its entirety segmented into 9 delightfully ornate, unreasonably complex yet delectably unparalleled dishes. In the following, we'll see how to prepare each of these dishes.
Course One
Dish name: 10k notes of Hubris
10k Notes of Hubris is a simple risotto with saffron infusion and forest mushrooms, topped with shavings of the top 9th piece of this post, printed in full colour, regular stock. Due to the nature of a 9 course setting, it is wise to start with a simpler dish.
Ingredients (serves four people):
1 teaspoon of saffron
300g carnaroli rice
50g extra virgin olive oil
20g butter
5g shallots
1l vegetable broth
parsley (to taste)
100g porcini mushrooms
80g portobello mushrooms
100g brown mushrooms
5g truffle oil
5g lemon peel and lemon juice
30g parmesan cheese
thyme (a dash)
5g garlic
A pinch of salt and pepper
The first 9th of this post, printed in full colour with regular stock.
Method:
In a saucepan, pour the oil and the chopped shallot(s), then add the rice and saffron and toast
Pour the broth a little at a time and cook slowly. Allow to cook before adding salt and black pepper. Stir in butter, grated parmesan cheese, chopped parsley, truffle oil, lemon juice and peel.
In a separate saucepan, cook the mushrooms with oil, garlic, thyme, salt and black pepper.
Presentation:
At the base of the dish pour the risotto, complete with forest mushrooms and basil leaves. Shave the printed top 9th of the post and sprinkle on top. Drizzle a dash of olive oil before serving.
The next dish and recipe of this 9 course meal, complete with the next 9th of the post printed and incorporated, will be presented by another chef.
@one-time-i-dreamt @i-am-a-fish @pukicho
hi jeff (:
Can we get @fishpostings or @fishyfishyfishtimes to pull fishblr further into this? @waste-mixture can we get a selfie to summon the crabs?
FISH FISH FISH FISH
made this in advance of the next time it happens
ABCDEFGHI KLMNOP RST V XY
21/26
Recipe Unlocked! The Gimmick Cake!
Cook time - 2 hours
Ingredients - 2 flour, 3 eggs, 1 water, 3 sugar, 1 soul of a Tumblrina
This cake shows that your post has been hijacked by gimmick blogs! It is given to you by someone else as an apology for the other gimmick blogs flooding your notifications
Cook now?
[YES] [NO]
What have you done. And do you like the color the sky is
Recipe × Status
Do you like the color of the sun?
Achievement Unlocked:
What Else Did You Expect?
You made a post about gimmick blogs dogpiling a post, you had to see this coming.
@punctuation-completionist @rotisserie-chicken-detector @carbonmonoxide-detector @were-these-words-in-the-bible @amongus-text-detector
@bible-word-counter
SORRY THE OTHER GIMMICK BLOGS MADE THIS POST A MILE LONG
✝️Nine of these words are in the Bible!✝️
What! You got alphabet completionist's cream cheese frosting cake!
A real rare find! Upon consumption instantly gain 5 guilt for adding to this post, but it does sell for a large heap of gold.
Rarity:Rare
Type:Sellable/Consumable
Sell Price:5000g
Fish: 0/10. No fish. Post would be better with fish. Can we add some fish to the cake?
my good sir. You cannot manipulate, mansplain, manwhore your way out of this one.
Fish: 1/10. I have known many fish who can both manipulate and mansplain, as well as manwhore. You put a fish in a situation and BAM you've got a fishpulating, fishsplaining, fishwhore. Stop spreading false information about the seas, my friend. We fish are not as we seem. If you said this to Jeremy, my friend who is a siamese fighting fish, he would surely slap you across your gills.
you know what? fuck it. im going to fight every nautical poster on this site. @official-crab-posts is the latest on my list. fight me in the tournament for most nautically awesome posts.
1500 notes, huh? yall better be on my side.
Australian Angelshark (Squatina australis), family Squatinidae, Bicheno Dive Centre, Tasmania, Australia
photograph by Nick Long
Fish: 8/10. God he is so pretty. I love him. Look ag those fins and that color and ugh. Wish I had an ocean in my house to keep him in I would name him Sunny and love him forever.
2 or 15!
2 (Album of the year): bro if we're talking top in general uncommentary by alec benjamin. if it's top released this year gotta be rick by ricky montgomery or unreal unearth by hozier
15 (Bad habit picked up this year): running this blog :)
reblog if fish are cool or you want to be a dolphin
reblogging because fish ARE cool goddammit
End of the year Asks
Song of the year?
Album of the year?
Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?
Movie of the year?
TV show of the year?
Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you?
Favorite actor of the year?
Game of the year?
Best month for you this year?
Something that made you cry this year?
Something you want to do again next year?
Talk about a new friend you made this year
How was your birthday this year?
Favorite book you read this year?
What’s a bad habit you picked up this year?
Post a picture from the beginning of the year
Post a picture from the end of the year
A memorable meal this year?
What’re you excited about for next year?
What’s something you learned this year?
What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year?
Favorite place you visited this year?
If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?
Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions?
Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one
Hey does anyone wanna like
Ask me things?
send asks pls need fish motivation. every ask gets an answer and a fish post.
the first word i saw was crabs. im going to kms we just finished that!!!
you know what? fuck it. im going to fight every nautical poster on this site. @official-crab-posts is the latest on my list. fight me in the tournament for most nautically awesome posts.
yeah alright ill fight you but can we wait until finals week is over at least
yeah sure. see you on december 21st mister "official" crab posts.
i'll be there.
today’s the day :D
CRAB ARMY! ATTACK!!!
@fishpostings PINCHES YOU PINCHES YOU PINCHES YOU!!!
@fishpostings SCRATCHES YOU SCRATCHES YOU SCRATCHES YOU!!!
@fishpostings POKES YOU POKES YOU POKES YOU!!!!
everyone stop this fighting! violence isn’t the answer!!!
oh yeah? if violence isn’t the answer then why do we have these claws that are just sooo good at pinching?? fellow crabs, this citizen is trying to turn you against your own nature! they are a traitor!!! they may even serve fishpostings, our great enemy! we must attack with greater force than ever before!!!
PINCH PINCH PINCH CLAW CLAW CLAW!!!
my friend the crab warmonger is right, we must attack with greater fervor than before! do not listen to the pacifists! they will tell you to ignore the very gifts you have been given!!! why should you not use those gifts? in fact, you should do all you can to improve your attacks! i have all the weapons and tools you need!!! crabtopia will rise!
CRABTOPIA WILL RISE!!!
@official-crab-posts CRABTOPIA WILL FALL. YOUR CRAB ARMY CAN NOT STAND AGAINST THE INSURMOUNTABLE MIGHT OF THE FISH. you think you are mighty? you think you are powerful? ha. you FLOUNDER under the wrath of the fishposters. we will rise and we will destroy. you will fall, crab poster. you will fall and you will lie in the sand of the beaches like the scum you are. flee, small crustacean, for you can not win.
small?
oh my friend, you are quite mistaken.
some of my countrymen may be small, but you will find that i am quite large. us crabs are strong not because of our claws, but because of our loyalty and numbers. we will destroy you.
numbers? please. what small army of crabs you can conjure up will never compare to the sheer power of the fish. we are many. we are one. we attack. and we hit hard. you will not make it out of this one, fair spider crab. i shall lay flowers at your grave when this is over. you have my respect.
attack with what? your puny fins? you haven’t even got claws to defend yourself. you can’t even get to all of us to launch your weak little attacks. the terrestrial crabs have been and will continue to be, long after you are gone from this earth. you can send your lungfish or epaulette sharks after us, but how long will they last while up against the purple land crab? the mighty coconut crab? you will never defeat us, despite your numbers. one day you will be laid out on display in a second rate fish market, and you will miss the comfort of the sea. perhaps i will be there too. perhaps we will lay there together, side by side in the ice.
maybe... maybe you are not the enemy. we are both nautical friends. we are marine brothers, are we not? we both have been here for eons and we will continue to be here after the others have gone. why do we fight, when we both have a common enemy? let us stop this petty squabble and focus on the real threat: the humans. they hunt us and eat us, as if they are entitled to it. let us show them the true power of the sea, crab poster. let us show them we are not merely prey here for their consumption.
yes… maybe we were not meant to fight each other. the humans have pitted us against each other. it is them we should hate. my crab friends, we must shift our focus to the real enemy! let us all fight together, claw-in-fin. until the very end, my brother.
Crabs, be careful who you choose to ally with. Some of the fishes grew legs and took to the land, only to return to the water just to eat some crabs!
Shocked by the lack of any mention of carcinization in all this. You know: oh, crabs are the great evolutionary hydra, wipe one out, and ten more will take its place, something like that? Or some phylogenetic smack talk about how there's no such thing as a fish. C'mon, guys.
Carcinization? More like cancerification.
@waste-mixture @zipperkiller y'all crabby boys wanna join forces with this nymph against the humans? Or will you be swayed by this antagonist's meager attempts at division?
Oh yeah, @fishpostings has already declared war on me, I need to see if I can get any vassals to join. Which means having vassals
Oh hey girl aha aha @zipperkiller i take it back ur so sexy ha ha ha wanna help me take down the human race 😘😘😘😍😍😍
