kradysuom

[teaboot]

My first time operating CCTV cameras I was handed control over what was essentially 50 independently moving eyes that collectively covered an area about the size of a football field and from that experience I now know that

Suddenly having 50 moving eyes can make you disoriented and barfy and the adjustment period sucks ass

It takes both more and less time than you’d think to figure out what the structure as a whole looks like and where those eyes ARE

After you get used to it the entirety of the structure itself and all of the eyes you can see from feels like an extension of your nervous system in a very bizarre way. Like I have dreams now from the perspective of A Building and I’m not sure how to describe that.

Once you are aware of an unreachable blind spot it nags at you constantly and you can feel it like a hard little lump under your skin you need to poke and scratch at and it’s ardghgguychgghhbhhhbhhh

[teaboot]

And on top of that, having operated CCTV at multiple locations now- my favourite and most comfortable one having excess of 60 cameras- it can be REALLY hard to suddenly jump to a different operating interface and display configuration, because all the muscle memory is wrong

On my COMFORTABLE system, the one I spent the longest time on, I never had to think about what code I needed to punch in. If I needed to watch a specific person, I could follow them all over the site without thinking about it.

Now at a different location, all the manual equipment and codes and lag and resolution are different, and it feels like going from playing the piano to driving stick shift on the left side of the road with my feet

The closest I imagine I can equate it to is like. Getting really really good at painting with a pair of prosthetic hands, and then suddenly having them swapped out with someone else’s

[teaboot]

Not the best depiction, but. Feels like this

[teaboot]

I love how many people read my work posts and tag it “body horror”, “eldritch”, “science fiction”, “Murderbot”, “Magnus archives”, “OP is a cyborg”

While all the people with security & surveillance experience are chilling in the notes like

To be clear I love it. I love that we’re all living in our own little adventures

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

did i tell u guys i got into an argument on twitter bc i said foxes are dogs and someone tried to bring up their actual fuckin. classification or whatever and i just said “foxes are dogs cause they are fluffye” and they kept arguing with me. the entire time i was like “you will not survive the immigration to tumblr you are lucky we are not there right now”

[neopolitanfox]

This is especially funny because they aren’t even right. Foxes *ARE* dogs.

[trojanhorse8-2]

No they aren’t.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

yes they are. because they are fluffye.

[trojanhorse8-2]

OK yes they are.

[mr-deep-downer]

Dog

[jooshthepunished-deactivated202]

Dog

[utah-mountain-drifter-deactivat]

Different family, but same order as @pictures-of-dogs

[zarabithia12365-deactivated2022]

No, they are the same family. They are the same kingdom, phylum, order and family. They separate at the genus.

They’re a dog.

[birdsareblooming]

yeah they’re fluffye

[dacavendishtime]

theyre literally not dogs theyre not even fluffy. can we get science tumblr over hear or what!?

[birdsareblooming]

checkmate athiests

[ajarofpickledtears]

fluffye

[pa-pa-plasma]

okay but they literally are dogs, for those who are confused

[stele3]

If foxes are dogs, then so are wolves, coyotes, dingoes, jackals, and several other extant and extinct species.

Behold! A dog.

[lemon-badgeress]

of course it’s a dog you buffoon. it’s fluffye.

[findingfeather]

Why on earth would someone think “BUT IF THEY’RE DOGS SO AR -”

Like yes of course wolves are dogs, where have you been. Jackals are excellent doggies! So are coyotes. Why is this confusing.

[theknightlywolfe]

I love that this is literally two completely different arguments running simultaneously.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

That guy up there who said they’re not even fluffy was thinking of sharks

[thebelovedlion]

sharks are also dogs. ravenous water dogs, but still dogs

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Sharks can NOT be dogs they are SMOOTH

[porcupine-girl]

Tags via @jenroses

[gabyluvsxena]

sharks are smooth dogs

[grubby-gerblin]

BEHOLD, a SHARK

[bamboozled-bumblefuck]

17 clown car pileup 84 injured 193 dead

[tyrantisterror]

I’m watching The Sword in the Stone for the first time in decades and I’ve gotten to the part where Merlin is trying to get Arthur to lose his virginity to a squirrel.

[tyrantisterror]

Y’know, if Merlin turned that squirrel into a human it would save Camelot a significant amount of problems down the road.

[tyrantisterror]

“Squirrels mate for life Arthur, so the chances of her fucking your best friend and inadvertently causing a schism that leads to the downfall of an entire utopian kingdom are completely nil!”

[tyrantisterror]

Ok hopefully this is the last time I add onto this but Arthur marrying the squirrel would stop both of the events that destroyed Camelot - namely the aforementioned falling out with Lancelot AND the birth of Mordred.  Being with him since youth, Squirrel would keep Arthur from being seduced by his half-sister Morgause (or Morgan Le Fay in the versions of the myth that cut Morgause out) when he was young and foolish, as he’d already be in a committed relationship and thus wouldn’t be able to be tricked into starting one with said half-sister.  No incest means no Mordred.  Then, as mentioned above, Squirrel would be a faithful wife, which means Guenevere would be single, which means Lancelot and Guenevere could pork each other without causing a huge row that ends with Lancelot killing dozens of his fellow knights of the round and inspiring several others to turn against Arthur out of loyalty to him.

Camelot would have been saved if Arthur just. Fucked. That. Squirrel.

[duskargentum]

You say all that but all I hear is “here is how Merlin trying to convince Arthur to become a furry could have saved the world”

[tyrantisterror]

Look this was a journey for me ok?

It started as “I can’t believe Disney made a movie where Merlin tries to get a squirrel to take Arthur’s virginity” and slowly became “I can’t believe Disney’s weird bestiality subplot actually solves the two biggest problems that cause Camelot’s downfall.”

Because as baffling as the squirrel fucking plotline is just on its own, the fact that it’d actually be solution to the eventual problems Arthur faces - whether anyone at Disney was actually thinking about that or not (and I’m guessing not) - is even more so.  It is bizarre and unsettling to me that squirrel fucking could have saved Camelot, and that’s, uh, the point of this I guess.

[literatedead]

So, pointless fun fact. Around 2008, someone on 4chan actually made a ‘humanized’ version of the squirrel called ‘Hazel’ (i.e. one who had been changed to a human to be with Arthur). For a little while, there were a number of artists making pieces about her, and stories written suggesting alternate histories.

I know it’s a minor point, but I still love the notion that people are still finding ways to rewrite the story so Arthur can f*@# the squirrel.

Whole gallery of pics here, because some of this artwork gets downright amazing…

[strixmoonwing]

I REMEMBER THESE!!!!

[mousathe14]

Fascinating

[bugcthulhu]

@tyrantisterror  your legacy endures

[tyrantisterror]

To an ever widening group of people, I am “that guy who ranted about Arthur fucking a squirrel.”

Of all my legacies, this is certainly one of them.

[spankzilla85]

I think I’ve posted about this before buuuuuuut fuck it? This makes me deliriously happy and sad. The resolution of Arthur becoming human and having to try to explain himself to a sobbing squirrel is one of my strongest childhood memories about having to deal with heartbreak and I’m literally fucking tearing up right now GOD DAMN YOU TYRANTIS.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Does this mean there’s an alternate version of history where Camelot never fell and Britain just always carried on its legacy.

Are you trying to tell me that in the fixed up version of the Arthur mythos the entire royal family is part squirrel?

[superiorsturgeon]

I had forgotten that movie! Even as a child (I’m not old enough to have actually seen the original release, my parents just bought the vhs) I totally shipped Arthur and the squirrel! It was SO SAD when it was ruined! 😭

[falleri-salvatore]

Holy shit! This post!! THIS POST!!! To think I would be graced with such a timeless classic.

[knoneawe]

Well shit now I can’t stop thinking about this

[zephyr-ro-emenki]

Just wait until we show the Fate Fans this Post.

[scoutsmoocrew]

This person needs to be arrested im going to cry

[sapper-in-the-wire-old]

How do you go through all the effort of setting up a sous vide to do this????

[swagforbirds]

never tell me that magic isnt real ever again when this is clear evidence of a person transmogrifing Meat into Wood

[thyrell]

i can transmogrify meat into wood by lookin at pictures of titties if ya get what im sayin

[weaselle]

hey, we all love tiddies here but this person has perpetrated a crime against nature and we need you stay focused

[randomtechpriest]

The sheer disrespect to that animal, that's beyond well-done, that is congratulations

[prokopetz]

Sword and sorcery tabletop RPG which includes a long, rambling list of magic spells with weirdly specific affects and annoyingly particular casting requirements, kind of like if Dungeons & Dragons decided to be about 40% more precious about its magic system, except it's a group worldbuilding game, and one of the first steps is for the group to collectively choose exactly seven of those spells to be the only ones anyone still knows how to cast. All of the spells that didn't get picked might be spoken of in legend, but the knowledge of them has been lost over time. The remainder of the group worldbuilding phase consists principally of brainstorming what a society built around these seven annoyingly specific spells would look like; for example, perhaps the knowledge of their working is jealously guarded, with each of the setting's great nations constructing their entire cultural identity around Their Spell, or perhaps the setting's industrial base is dependent on combining these spells in increasingly unintended ways to form a sort of sorcerous Rube Goldberg machine of production.

(One of the default campaign premises for this hypothetical game would, of course, cast the player characters as a gang of mercenary scholars on a quest to rediscover an eighth spell. Depending on what sort of setting the group initially brainstormed, keeping their intentions under wraps may be strongly advisable.)

[mamafriesmeal]

Now I'm going to be spending an unhealthy amount of time thinking about a rich guy who just REALLY wants to cast like Barkskin because he's just really into the idea of being a fucked up tree and hiring a bunch of fuckos to figure out how to do it because he's read about it in some old books or some shit

[prokopetz]

That's the spirit.

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[littleguysdaily]

[swarnpert]

kinda sick of all those posts that are like "my ancestors were surviving starvation and the plague meanwhile i get nervous ordering food at restaurants". as if jauffrey the woodworker didn't fumble his conversation with the fine maiden running the fruit stand and then tripped on a pebble as he left in a hurry

[ossifer-deactivated20250706]

it's hilarious how if you do any amount of research into life or death melee combat the prevailing themes that emerge are that

you're gonna get tired very quickly

tired leads to injured, injured leads to tired, tired leads to—

you're not gonna be as composed as you expect

humans are more fragile than you think and also more durable than you think. both are true and neither stop them from dying of an infection later (DO NOT GET BITTEN)

DO NOT GET STABBED (generally good life advice)

DO GET A SPEAR

knights are faster than you think

[rainboq]

Other favorites from history:

Humans are very good at *pretending* to fight each other in hopes that the generals way in the back are buying it so nobody has to get stabbed.

Most of the dying only happened after a side broke and tried to run, because then the rich assholes on horseback got to start running them down.

[ere-the-sun-rises]

When you do get a bloodthirtsy force, it gets bad real quick (see the battle of Adrianople, 378 CE, and the battle of Cannae, 216 BCE)

SUPPLY LINES FFS

Uuuuuuuh wow professionalization matters a lot actually

There's a lot of dust actually

Horses Will Not run through opposing infantry, but they will run at other horses

Elephants are not worth it, tbh

Shields matter a lot if you want to not die but good luck finding a balance between being too heavy and not protective enough

Anything is a projectile if you throw it hard enough

Always have a knife

Do Not Fall Down - you will be trampled

The guy with the biggest hat/plume is the leader

Release The Hounds

Valleys are BAD NEWS

Uphill is much nicer than downhill

A retreat route to boats on the sea is only helpful when you're already ready to sail

Forests are torches waiting to be lit

A professional soldier does a surprising amount of sitting around and day labour on massive projects

The army has always been a good place to become an engineer, it seems

Ffs, pleasr listen when the sergeant tells you something. He's always right

If you've got a shit general, make sure you've got a good tactician/strategist

That rich guy really doesn't know what he's doing, huh

Drowning is awful and being in the navy is certainly A Choice, but your wife will not be happy with you

Damn, all this shit is heavy :(((

Attack the baggage train >:)))

Uhhhh, sarge? The battle line broke. I'm going home

Why aren't the enemy running and screaming back at us? They're just ... walking towards us. I will not be sticking around to figure out whatever fuckery they're up to.

Blood is actually really slippery :(

I did not clean my blade and now the blood has dried and glued the sword and scabbard together :(((

Tf you mean we're gonna fight during harvest season. I think tf not.

I Hate This. All Of This.

Fuck me, battle is LOUD despite the fact I can't hear shit in this helmet

You're better to be down an arm than down a leg, tbh

Desertion rates are not as high as you'd think, but if you let the troops starve and get sick, they will abandon you en masse

WHAT MADE YOU THINK CROSSING THE MOUNTAINS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!

The fewer pieces to armour the better is usually is (with the exception of chain and scale)

Skirts and loose-ish clothes actually help conceal the lines of your body in combat

Don't wear too much armour in a hot place because you will be sweating until you pass out and die

CHARIOTS ARE SO COOL

Falling off a chariot is Less Cool

You're less likely to get stabbed than you are crushed or run over

Leather resists slashing damage, silk/linen resists piercing damage and wood/ceramic disperses blunt damage

Ceramic armour is actually so effective at defending its wearer that we still use it in bulletproof vests and tank armour (though once its broken it needs to be replaced)

A blade lodged in bone can actually be really hard to get back out

If your belly is cut open, you're already dead to an infection

Unless they hit a major artery, bleeding out takes a long time

[husborth-deactivated20241109]

i know people have brought up the idea of Stormtroopers Under Vader’s Command Have A Vader Cult before, and i know a lot of people think it’s a little gratuitous, but i have some thoughts:

these are enlisted people tossed into the meat grinder of war under a commander who is like sauron fucked the terminator and a baby manifested from that union, you’re essentially in a terrifying, hostile environment stalked by terrifying, hostile people the entire time, and there’s a solid chance you’re about to get shot and die. vader being on a battlefield is a major tactical bonus in that he’s a one-man tide-turner, and listen, when you really think you’re about to die, you would be grateful for anything that bumped your survival chances up from 35% to 65%, even if that thing was your commander wantonly slaughtering the enemy right in front of you. there’s blood and guts everywhere but at least you’re alive to see them, you know?

if your superior was a mystic who bought into a strange religion of arcane power, not tangible to you at all but you have definitely seen your commander flip tanks with it, you might think things like blood sacrifice could materially improve his power, and therefore materially improve the chances of you and all of your friends not dying horrible bloody deaths in the maw of war. (considering vader’s psychic powers feed on fear, agony, hatred and rage, a blood sacrifice in his name might actually literally work, which is overwhelmingly funny.)

tall of the empire’s other military officers are people who graduated space west point, either having wealthy families with connections or just connections, who are guaranteed to not give a singular shit about things like “feeding your soldiers” or “do your soldiers have shoes” as is the trend for dudes who never had to worry about those things before. and, granted, vader probably doesn’t give a singular fuck if any of his soldiers are having a particularly good day, but he did spend a chunk of his childhood being exploited for labor and starving at the whims of the guy who owned him, so he is at least more capable of making the logistical jump of “soldiers need food in order to kill the people i want them to kill” than dudes who never thought about that. and if you were starving as fuck, and the only guy who cared overly much about feeding you was a literal wizard, “a cult” might seem like a rational way to thank him. (considering vader’s psychic powers literally feed on vibes, this might actually literally be a rational way to thank him, which is overwhelmingly funny.)

in conclusion, Stormtroopers Start A Vader Cult isn’t actually the most out there take in the world.

[cipheramnesia]

Lakes and graveyards are very similar in that if you detonate a large explosion inside either one a lot of dead bodies come to the surface.

[geekandmisandry]

Hi, um. How is being the necromancer's apprentice going for you OP?

[cipheramnesia]

You want I should raise dead, I raise dead, no problem. You want banish dead, no problem, have plenty more nitro. I do this, ten minutes.

[dee-the-red-witch]

CHUNKY STEW IS NOT BANISHMENT.

[cipheramnesia]

Chunky stew, very bad necromancer. We banish, no problem, no chunks. I give you number of cousin Yvgeny. Will power wash house, very good prices. No other necromancer does this for you.

[geekandmisandry]

Is....is...is Yvgeny....alive?

[cipheramnesia]

Eh. Is alive enough.

[blackleatherbag]

[maplesynth]

so i spent far too long on this.

for those unaware, the spaghetti wall of letters and numbers is a base64-encoded JPEG image (and not a URL as some guessed). in certain cases when you tried to insert/paste an image into what’s ostensibly a text-only box, this could happen.

the thing that’s bugging me however is that there’s image data there. we have fairly a clear (albeit with JPEG artifacts) screenshot of text that, thanks to how Windows ClearType renders text, each character is identical to each other, that is to say, an uppercase Q will always look more or less pixel-perfect each time, meaning we don’t have to guess what a Q looks like, we simply have to pixel-accurate match it.

as an aside, this is why regular OCR struggles so much with this kind of data retrieval, such as code even when it’s clearer than a physical paper scan. ordinarily, OCR will try to best-guess every single letter because it expects each letter to be slightly different from each other (as would be the unpredictable nature in a scanned document), and on top of that most OCR today will try to autocorrect because it expects the scanned text to contain words in some human written language.

so, all we have to do is make a program to recognize each character and piece back together the whole base64 string, right? well…

first i stitched all 7 images back into a single block of text, observing the consistency of the line spacing. some of the screenshots have little bits of the previous one sticking out of it, which helps with alignment and to make sure they’re in the right order.

after that i had to sample every single letter off this file. this means going around the file and finding one example of each different character we’re trying to identify, saving it as its own separate file so that the program can load them as references to compare against in the full image. for base64, the alphabet consists of a-z, A-Z, 0-9, +, / and =. once i had the initial code in place…

…close! but oh so far. if any one single character in a base64 string is wrong or missing, the resulting decode will be wrong. the issues i was having were mostly with the lowercase r and j because of how the kerning affected the pixels around those letters. i was also getting false matches for r where there should be an m. what followed was grueling hours of tweaking the matching code and my known font set to better fit the original image and get as close as possible to a 100% match. here is the resulting code, maybe it’ll be useful for someone and this won’t have been a complete waste of time.

once i was confident through the verification image that i had all characters recognized, i put it through a base64 to JPEG decoder. i actually did this several times as i improved the recognition and what follows is the best result that came out of it yet. i suspect some of the data might be missing (perhaps a line or block of text got lost in between screenshots), or i have a wrong character somewhere resulting in a wrong value. this is the image extracted from OP’s base64 string:

we can finally know what they meant when they said “me in a relationship” and i can finally go the fuck to sleep.

[maplesynth]

update: i found that the string that i used to decode the image in the previous reblog actually had one letter wrong.

with this it still doesn’t parse as fully valid base64 in strict mode so i think there’s still another letter in there that’s wrong, but i couldn’t find it. however this gives us a better look:

and this is finally enough to do a reverse image search. i present to you, the HD version of our intrepid massive backpacker:

still have no idea what they mean by “me in a relationship” with that, though.

[almost-correct-quotes]

#they have baggage

[maxknightley]

yoda wasn't even a good teacher.

[maxknightley]

he's always saying shit like "there is no try" and "there is no why" and generally being a weird little asshole and yeah it SOUNDS cool but you are not creating an effective learning environment for Luke.

[apisashla]

counterpoint: if a little guy balanced on my shoulders and/or feet while saying odd shit and calling me a dumbass, it would be an effective test of any homicidal tendencies I might have inherited from my notoriously unstable dad, which reflects Yoda's primary motive in his other OT appearances

[thispreciousthing]

So a free tool called GLAZE has been developed that allows artists to cloak their artwork so it can't be mimicked by AI art tools.

AI art bros are big mad about it.

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

Seeing as Twitter is gonna legally steal your work now, please use glaze to protect what you make.

[chromatocloo]

Guys did you hear about Nightshade?

Using both Glaze and Nightshade would corrupt the generation of pictures mimicking artist AND mess with the AI's recognition of what everything is. Like it would generate a dog when you ask for a cat.

And it would be hell for AI bros to remove the cloaked pictures from their database ʕ 👀人ʔ

[brothermouse-skeleton]

I am SICK and TIRED of seeing so much hate towards Al! Al hasn't done ANYTHING to hurt ANYONE! Al is harmless!

But I can already hear the Al haters out there!

"Al isn't original!" No shit, Sherlock! That's what we love the most about Al.

"People aren't supposed to look like that!" That sounds like a problem between you and God, and frankly, plenty of people like the way Al looks.

"Al is just too WEIRD!" Have you ever thought that you might be to NORMAL to actually appreciate Al?

I think you all need to apologize to Al right now!

APOLOGIZE TO HIM

APOLOGIZE TO WEIRD AL RIGHT NOW!

[anexperimentallife]

[homunculus-argument]

One absolutely hilarious part of human existence is the repeated incidents of spicy bananas. People who have lived their entire lives up to this point just assuming that a specific fruit or vegetable is supposed to taste bitter, tangy, or spicy, having no fucking idea that all this time, they've been allergic to this plant. Because how would they have known? You learn what things taste like by tasting them, nobody's going to tell you that bananas are supposed to be one of the mildest flavours out there. And people already eat so many things that taste hot, bitter, tangy and tart! Because they like how that kind of thing tastes like!

You can just happily much on a plant, thinking "ah, this angry plant tastes sharp because it hates me. Much like all the other sharp angry plants that people eat because they like the sharp", and it wouldn't cross their mind to think that the plant just hates you, specifically.

[msfcatlover]

This is sitting on the shelf of human experiences riiiight next to people who don’t realize they’re colorblind.

[deadmomjokes]

My best friend’s husband didn’t realize he was colorblind until after they were married in their mid-twenties and she watched him run a stop sign that was in front of a big bush. He’d lived his entire life not knowing. So when they did some tests and realized “hey, you’re super colorblind,” he got to thinking, it’s X-linked, right? Which means it had to have come from Mom’s side of the family, so he started digging and asked his mom’s dad, and Grampa was like “Well that would explain a lot, I suppose. I kind of thought your grandma was just pulling my leg about the tomatoes.”

Because Grandma had apparently banned him early on from picking the tomatoes in the garden because he was constantly coming in with unripe ones, and he thought she was just being super nitpicky about it. This was a lifelong family joke, that Grandpa couldn’t tell a ripe tomato to save his life, and nobody ever stopped to wonder if maybe he and the grandson who routinely colored the grass red on his drawings might have something going on with their ability to see red and green as distinct colors.

[yardsards]

i thought aloe vera gel was SUPPOSED TO burn your skin. like how rubbing alcohol burns when applied to a cut. figured that everyone else was just better at gritting their teeth and bearing the full body aloe sting than i was. i just didn't feel like the stinging was worth the mild healing properties aloe had.

yeah... turns out it's NOT supposed to burn and i was just allergic to aloe

[life-on-the-spectrum]

STORY TIME!!!!!!!

My husband comes from a “weird” family. Like, the whole county knows. “He’s a total weirdo. AAAH THAT’S HIS LAST NAME THAT EXPLAINS IT OKAY NO PROBLEM GO FLY FREE DUDE WE LOVE YOU!!” The family’s just a bunch of freaks, like the Addams Family meets the Beverly Hillbillies. I ADORE them.

It was celebrated because they’re so valuable to the local community. This one sells meticulously grown veggies at the farmer’s market, then hisses at you for suggesting they wear soemthing that isn’t tie-dyed. That kid was in kindergarten before she said her first word, and that’s cool because her older sister translated for her NO THANK YOU TEACHER WE DO NOT NEED A DOCTOR THAT IS NORMAL FOR THIS FAMILY GO AWAY. She’s got two quiet kids of her own now and WE STILL DO NOT NEED A DOCTOR GO AWAY. That uncle knows everything there is to know about every car engine ever, and he never wears shoes with laces because he literally never worked out how to tie them (He’s 60). He’s also the top mechanic in his town and makes serious dough that put his super-smart daughter through college, and now she’s an ace veterinarian who pterodactyl screams at acrylic sweaters and keeps everyone’s pets alive. I shit you not, the family matriarch gets excited for tax season every year and begs everyone to bring her their taxes so she can MATH at them. It’s her freaking hobby.

Whatever. They’re in OUR family. It’s totally normal for us. The family’s just full of freaks, that’s all. We encourage our people to go with their strengths and use their skills to make our little corner of the world a nicer place to live in, then teach them how to manage the difficult parts of the world because we all had to learn to do it ourselves. “Because this family’s full of people just as freaky as you. You’re one of us.”

No, most of them don’t go to college. It’s rural Illinois, of course they don’t. Lots of them end up in specialized trades, like electricians or farmers, and they always kick ass at it. They tend towards jobs that require a lot of focus, and attention to detal, and very specific, in-depth knowledge that is almost useless outside of whatever field they’re in. We’re mostly spread between two or three small towns in Illinois, and I do not think these three towns would function without my husband’s family fixing and growing everything they do.

One of our cousins’ kids got diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder a few years ago. His now-ex-wife insisted that something was wrong and that our cousin was a jerk for not caring enough to notice. The family reacted with “He’s fine, it’s normal, we all did that when we were his age... wait... shit... what do you mean it’s genetic?”

It turns out that like 70% of my husband’s side of the family is autistic as fuck. We’re talking about grandmothers. Uncles. Cousins. People are in their 70s just now figuring out why they are how they are. 

They’re just so famously weird in our community that they attract the other weird people as partners, and then they have weird little kids, and no one really looks twice. A bunch of the people (including me) who married in were informally adopted first. “Oh, your parents punished you for this behavior? We all do that here. Come to the barbecue!” Two years later, I had their last name and was helping watch their adorable little handflappy babies.

We’ve got an entire gene pool over here of autistic people thriving so well that no one noticed we were all autistic.

Also, that cousin got RID of his wife when she started talking about how “tragic” their son’s autism is. Their son is a perfectly normal child in our family and will be raised as such. We joke now that when something needs fixed, “Oh, just call Uncle So-and-So, he’ll autism at it.”’

I fucking love this family so much.

[bisexualbaker]

Beautiful, wonderful story, no notes (except maybe asking if there's room for one more at the dinner table).

Anyway, back to the original post, I am in deep gratitude for it, because it's the only reason I thought to wonder if chickpeas are supposed to be spicy.

(Hint: Apparently they're not. The genetic lottery locked the good tasting falafel and hummas behind an allergy wall.)

[lukiepoooo]

....what,,, what is aloe vera supposed to feel like?????

[vaspider]

It's supposed to feel cool and soothing.

[spacedorfindustries]

Friend of mine says they took a long time to learn that there is no such thing as "the shrimp tinglies" and they have an allergiy

[critterbitter]

Meet Ingo’s partner!

The one and only!

A Litwick!

Litwick’s a panic capture and she knows it.

As a firm believer of half the depot agents in BW2 being either ghosts or pokemon (or both), a litwick with vague telepathy isn’t too out of question, me thinks.

Bonus:

Feel free to add any headcannons! This is lawless lands now.

[catchymemes]