Thoughts on my mind

I read to be able to feel emotions, I write to be able to free emotions. - Unknown

[nyx-the-reader]

The Power Ranger gang (Pondphuwin, Joongdunk and Geminifourth) as the holy trinity of MXTX. Pondphuwin as Hualian, Joongdunk as Bingqiu and Geminifourth/ Fourthgemini (they can play either character) as Wangxian.

Does anyone else see the vision ?

Pond as the "dedicated my life for you" devotee who doesn't care about anything else and Phuwin as the "Kind to his bones" divinty, the only God he believes in. Who'd choose to wait for each other patiently and with unwavering faith.

Joong radiating "will kill everyone but becomes a big puppy infront of his lover" energy who has been in love forever and Dunk as the sarcastic, tsundere brat tamer, pillow princess, who just cannot love himself enough to be a reliable narrator, to see that others can love him. Falling into each other's destines even being from different worlds.

Fourth as the silent and initially annoyed "fell first", the eternal beauty of speaking through actions and Gemini as the silly and tragic "fell harder" disaster who has never felt enough love by anyone to read the other's actions. Both one half of a single soul.

[nyx-the-reader]

Hello Tumblr dwellers,

Once again, I need help. I have lost an ao3 fanfiction again and can't seem to find it and please please please could somebody share the link or even the name.

It's about Dazai hearing his soulmate's thoughts, being 90 % sure it's Chuuya and hoping it's not him because the thoughts are very hateful towards him. Not in the petty/childish way they usually bicker but seriously hateful. So when Chuuya confirms that they are Soulmates, he has a breakdown.

I won't spoil the full fanfiction but it's a happy ending.

Please help me na people..... 🙏🙏

Also shoutout and thanks to everyone who helped look for the star trek fics last time.

-Love, Nyx

[nyx-the-reader]

I'll never be somebody's first choice,

I've known that for years,

But knowing hasn't changed a thing,

It's still one of my greatest fears....

I'm not exactly a discarded piece either,

I've still got so many uses,

Give up on them - my brain whispers,

But my stubborn heart refuses.....

So I'll stand right here in this corner,

Awaiting crumbs of their attention,

Wondering if I stay here long enough,

Would I be worthy of their affection....

-Nyx

[cale-thames]

1.

Twitter: "Why are you so emotional?"

Tumblr: "Why are you so emotionally unavailable?"

Twitter: "That's a skill."

Tumblr: "That's a red flag.”

2.

AO3: down for maintenance

Tumblr: "What's the point of living anymore."

AO3: from the void "I’m literally just rebooting, calm down.”

3.

AO3: under maintenance "Be right back."

Tumblr: hugging knees "No. No, I need you. I just got emotionally punched by my boyfriend and now I have nowhere to read 200k of forbidden romance set in the battlefield.”

4.

Tumblr: shaking phone “You didn't even say goodbye.”

Internet: “It was scheduled 2 weeks ago."

Tumblr: “I DON’T CARE IF IT’S SCHEDULED. I WASN’T EMOTIONALLY PREPARED.”

5.

Tumblr: “AO3 is down, what am I supposed to do now? Reflect on my life? Do something productive??”

6.

Tumblr: “Do you know what happens when AO3 is down? I have to face my own thoughts. Do you want that? Do you want that, society?!”

7.

Tumblr: “I tried to log into AO3 but instead I logged into despair.”

8.

Tumblr: shouting into the void “AO3, if you’re mad at me, just say it. Don’t do this silent treatment thing!”

9.

Tumblr: “I was in the middle of a 300k enemies-to-lovers-fake-dating-soulmate-au and it left me on Chapter 49 out of 51.”

Internet: “AO3 will be back soon.”

Tumblr: “I. Want. Her. Now!”

10.

Tumblr: “If AO3 doesn’t come back in five minutes, I’m going to burn the world.”

11.

AO3: later, coming back online “I’m back!”

Tumblr: clutching phone “You left me. You left me alone with my feelings. How dare you.”

AO3: “It was literally 10 minutes.”

Tumblr: “And yet I aged for 100 years.”

[nyx-the-reader]

12.

Tumblr: *Sobbing uncontrollably* This Cruel, Cruel World.

Twitter: What happened to you.

Internet: AO3 is scheduled for Maintenance for 5 hours. *Squints at a clock* It's been 5 minutes since it has gone down.

[nyx-the-reader]

I woke up from my sleep at 2am and the spot next to me was vacant. It was the stuff of nightmares, that spot, devoid of you. I thought, this is it..... I dreamed you up. You didn't exist or maybe you just never returned to me...... Suddenly, all i could think was you were just too perfect to me for you to be real, for my feelings to be reciprocated.

I couldn't breathe. It felt like an eternity when I heard you call my name. You told me you were over in the next room. You were working on your project because you couldn't sleep and didn't want to disturb me. You heard me shuffling around so you came to look. I dragged you in my arms, my head in your neck, breathing you in. And just like that your arms encircled me, surrounded me. I could finally exhale. You understood without my saying anything.

It's not a common occurrence, but it still happens more than I am comfortable with. Those moments where I don't see you and think that you were never there. This fear that takes over, this anxiety. I panic every single time. I have lived in this world without you once, waiting, I wouldn't be able to do it again.

More often than not you feel like a dream, the wisps of my imagination. My person, my someone, my everything. But then you hug me, kiss me, tease me and all those doubts are gone. You tell me that it'll get better and more than anything in this world, I believe you.

[nyx-the-reader]

My Opinion......

If there's ever a Thai version of MDZS / the Untamed, I hope they cast GeminiFourth as Wangxian. They'd be perfect for the roles. I mean as Tinn we've already seen a very whipped Gemini and for Fourth, Gun was very much a mischievous (and oblivious) boy and Atom literally gave bi disaster vibes..... I think they would definitely do justice to the iconic Wangxian roles. They could even switch the roles. Afterall, it's Tanrak who is going to be stuck between his beliefs & love and Barth who is going to be the rebel.

[nyx-the-reader]

Going through a Thai Series Addiction right now and it's been a ride .

Why did no one ever tell me that TRIAGE was THAT good.

I loved it so much. I don't think I can ever recover from TinTol.

[nyx-the-reader]

Hello Tumblr dwellers,

You guys must have gotten it from my previous posts that I am a huge shipper. I love my books, manga, anime, webtoon etc. and I like fanfiction just as much.

So I need some help. I read these two Spirk fanfiction, but like the idiot i am, i forgot to bookmark them. If anyone knows the names, please share 🙏

One is about AOS Spirk 5+1 where Jim keeps buying or making gifts for Spock but never has the courage to give them to him. In the last story, Spock finds them and they finally talk about feelings. Spock is also dating Uhura during the start of the fic but they break up before anything happens between Spirk.

The Other is about Jim willingly becoming hostage to their enemies to save his ship and telling Spock a number. The number turns out to be the number of his personal log where he has recorded his feelings about spock. This one also has a happy ending. I can't even tell if it is AOS or TOS.

Both are on ao3 but I can't remember any specific keywords using which I can search them. So once again please help.

[nyx-the-reader]

My favourite angst couple dynamics (Unsaid thoughts)

"Am I even worthy of your Love?"

"Is my Love enough for you to stay for?"

...........................

"Ask me to stay for you"

"Please tell me you want to stay"

............................

"You had to have realized by now, How can you not know?"

"I just couldn't let myself hope, it would have been my destruction"

...........................

"My existence is not worth anything"

"I would have no purpose in this world had you not existed"

.........................

"There is nothing for me in this world"

"Take me, my blood, my bones, my everything, until I have nothing else to give"

........................

"My Love is more of a curse than a blessing"

"If you can't bless me with your love, atleast curse me till the end of time"

.....................

"Let me go, I have nothing left to live for"

"All this pain I have endured, just to watch you wither away"

....................

"What about you, who are you in love with, it couldn't possibly be me"

"Love me, even if I know I am asking for the impossible"

....................

"You will never acknowledge our connection, I watch you follow everyone else with your eyes"

"If only I had the courage to tell you, you live in my heart"

....................

"You will break my heart I know, then why can't I let you go"

"Don't forgive me, I don't deserve it"

.....................

"I wish I could be what you deserved"

"Ofc, you wouldn't have wanted me, nobody has ever wanted me"

.................

"I was a selfish person once, now look, i made myself better for you"

"Did I do this to you, did my existence destroy you too?"

................

"No one can love me, even I can't love myself"

"Let me love you, I would love you enough for the both of us"

...............

"I will destroy you, I corrupt everything I touch"

"I am drowning in my darkness, your touch is my salvation not destruction"

.............

"I always thought the worst of you, turns out all this time I was the one hurting you"

"You, even filled with hatred for me, are my lifejacket in this sea of oblivion"

.............

"I am nothing but an object, a toy, a weapon. No one even sees me as a person"

"Had I been powerful enough, you wouldn't have had to be anything other than yourself"

.............

"Don't let me destroy you, push me away first"

"If you are my end, let me greet destruction like an old friend"

.............

"I would take being born in this world again and again if it means meeting you, even just for the possibility of you, I'd take that chance"

"I would take living in this cruel world forever if it means having you, even for a second, i'd take that chance"

.............

"You are the reason of all this pain, not just mine but everybody's. So why, why can't I just hate you"

"Hate me, curse me, destroy me but for all the negativity there is.... don't be indifferent to me"

[nyx-the-reader]

I am in love with you,

With your smiles

And your laughter,

With your chaos,

And your disaster,

I have found my peace,

In the calamities you have caused,

I wish to make my home,

In your heart that has been locked,

My own heart is willing to drown,

In the moments we share,

Your presence is overwhelming,

I need you like I need air,

But this I can not tell you,

I would never dare,

My feelings are not your burden,

They're my cross to bear.

-Nyx

[nyx-the-reader]

Maybe, I never knew your heart,

As well as I thought I did,

And perhaps that ignorance is,

What will forever be my downfall

-Nyx

[nyx-the-reader]

And don't you know,

That love is selfishness,

And selflessness,

Wrapped up tight,

No one can ever,

Untangle the two,

Without either one,

Love would never feel right.

-Nyx

[nyx-the-reader]

You know who's not appreciated enough.....

Son Hak. This man is not a green flag or a tree, he is a literal green forest

From the start of the manga, he's been a fabulous person. He's in love with Yona but understands that she is in love with Su-won and respects that. He loves them both and wants them to be happy.

When everything goes to hell, he doesn't want to bring problems with his tribe so he officially leaves it. Stands by Yona but teaches her to stand for herself as well. He believes in her. He wants to protect her but puts his trust in her abilities as well. He's proud of her skills and he's not afraid to brag about her capabilities.

He isn't afraid to show emotions either. While he has a banter with the dragons, he genuinely shows that he considers all of them his friends. He hugs them. He cries and doesn't try to hide it. Doesn't act like a tsundere when feelings are involved. Yes he's a little baffled when Yona returns his feelings but that's normal. I know he does have a temper. But he tries to put his rage at the bottom of his priority list.

Frankly I believe he deserves all the love in the world.

[nyx-the-reader]

If the eyes are said to be,

The windows to the Soul,

What does it say for me,

Whose eyes are often described,

As either Empty or Cold.

-Nyx

[nyx-the-reader]

I do not know when it happened,

One moment, I was standing still,

And in the next, I had fallen in love.

-Nyx

[nyx-the-reader]

Sometimes I wonder what,

A heart as divine as yours,

Saw in my dreadful existence,

And found it worthy of you.

-Nyx

[nyx-the-reader]

Let me read your stories,

Let me accept your past,

Let me take all your hurts,

Let me give you the stars,

Let me accompany you in silence,

Let me ease your scars,

Let me adore you in solitude,

Let me enjoy our spars,

Let me bear all your burdens,

Let me guide you through the dark,

Let me worship your idols,

Let me give your dreams a start,

Let me know all your thoughts,

Let me carve your image into my heart,

I'm aware my feelings are not reciprocated,

That is why I have never dared to ask,

You don't have to love me back,

Just don't let us grow apart.

-Nyx