What is the maddest thing a man can do? @wait-whats-that-there - Tumblr Blog

uncahier

howl224tgeundying

tiktoks-i-enjoyed

shamebats

gaymingbinosaur

My grandma told me she was happy I got the option to be single and unmarried once.

bouncingbabycage

I've told this story before, but it's such a sad example.

Whenever my grandfather decided it was time for a new car, he'd give my grandmother the old one. ("She was only going to be using the beater car to get groceries, after all.") They got married in 1940, and the last car Grampie bought was in the early 90's. Well, when Grampie died in 2000, my dad told my grandmother he'd take the two cars and trade them in and get Nana a nice one just for her. He asked her what would she like in a car? Two doors? Four doors? A standard? Automatic?

Nana quietly said, "I'd like a purple one."

Dad burst out laughing-- ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, just like a woman to not know anything about cars, only cares about the color, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

TO THIS DAY he's never realized that Nana never had any say about the cars. It was always up to Grampie. All these years Nana had been quietly dreaming about a car just for her- a car that reflected the autonomy that she wasn't allowed to have- and that car was going to be her favorite color.

Dad got her a nice PURPLE four-door sedan, but he never missed an opportunity to jab at Nana for being "so stupid she doesn't know the first thing about cars".

derinthescarletpescatarian

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

stavarosthearcane

Good Job.

derinthescarletpescatarian

#this post gets me every time

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

heroofthreefaces

do you think no one else has time travel

derinthescarletpescatarian

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

derinthescarletpescatarian

#surprise reblog!!

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

roach-works

wow if only you had a time machine

transdaughterofthesun

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

derinthescarletpescatarian

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

iforgotmyfandom

:)

idiototheinternet

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

lizyarikus

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

anexperimentallife

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

what-if-i-just-did

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

derinthescarletpescatarian

Imagine how I feel

mrsjdavis

POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!

derinthescarletpescatarian

It doesn’t have to

smegorl

Yes it does.

type-blaze0

Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041

angels-haven-official

We all know who needs to be @’d

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

dogpuppy

queerasfact

In 1996, Subaru’s market research in the USA revealed an unexpected demographic who loved their cars: lesbians.

Tim Bennett, the company’s Director of Advertising, and a gay man himself, decided to lean in, and so began a series of ad campaigns pitching Subarus to the lesbian community. Here’s a few of our favourites.

As a queer woman who drives a Subaru myself, I guess I have to say the advertising works.

Let us know what car you drive, and if you reckon it’s queer!

Check out our podcast episode to learn more of the history behind these ads.

oneheadtoanother

grand-theft-carbohydrates

birdofmay

[ID original post: A bluesky post with a screenshot of a DNA article that reads "'Work stress makes people gay': Malaysian minister makes bizarre remark". The bluesky post says "*Homophobically* We need the 4 Day Work Week." /end ID post]

[ID reblog: A comment that says "Look man, if that's what it takes to get the 4 day work week. We can address the homophobia later once we're less tired." /end ID]

byjove

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.

byjove

emil

the butterfly doesnt even have to be saved next question

hyvee

This is so funny. I’d kill all billionaires if it meant losing something precious to me

thestenchofcheeseandregrets

geckyjuno

my bedsheet is pregnant and it's. the rest of my laundry

mamiaztec

make yourself at home in my rib cage

oneheadtoanother

ultimate boss of sound guys

feldfrog

Imagine being one of the parents for the kids in the Magic School Bus class. Getting those field trip permission slips home every single night.

Like what, another one? Doesn’t she teach? This just says Inside a Dog

ahotknife

is this a safe place to say i don’t care that chappell roan is rude and i think it’s fine if she continues to be

millenianthemums

diet culture people make me feel like i’m going crazy. you want me to take an experimental pill that destroys my appetite?? you want me to remove part of my stomach??? you want me to stop eating bread and rice, two of the staple foods most inherent to humanity????? why exactly? because my stomach is big? because you don’t like the way i look, and you think it’s reasonable to tell me to carve pieces off of myself and try random drugs and ruin my own life so i can look more visually pleasing to you? and you somehow don’t see how absurdly cruel and selfish that is to ask of somebody???? while pretending you care about their HEALTH????????????????? FUCK YOU!!!!

attackfish

As it is Passover again, it is time for the annual debate as to whether the frog plague, which thanks to a quirk in the Hebrew, is written as a plague of frog, singular, rather than the plural, plague of frogs, was in fact, as generally imagined, a plague of many frogs, or instead a singular giant Kaiju frog. This is an ancient and venerable argument that actually goes back to the Talmud because this is what the Jewish people are. If we can't argue for fun about this sort of thing, what are we even doing.

In that spirit, I would like to submit a third possibility, which is that in fact it was one perfectly normal sized frog, who was absolutely acing Untitled Frog Game: Ancient Egypt Edition. One particularly obnoxious frog, who through sheer hard work, managed to plague all of Egypt.