Here is my introduction!! Here is some info about how this intro will go!!
• Updation - This will be updated as time goes on, with me adding or taking away certain aspects of this introduction post at times. Sometimes I may completely revamp it, others, I may simply add new information.
• Organization - Everything will be broken up into distinct sections, with my handmade headers making them easy to spot! Because this introduction can be quite lengthy, there will be a TL;DR at the bottom of this message.
• Interaction - due to the fact that I am turning this into a permanent QnA about me, feel free to ask any (respectful) questions or converse with me about anything I say inside this introduction post.
First up, the basics!! In this section, I'll be stating some things about me!!
• Art & Stuff - I am a digital cartoon illustrator. I specifically enjoy character design, so you may see a lot of that on my page!! I am also a writer and I enjoy media analysis as well. I am currently working on an ongoing project, Freaks of Foreverlight!! I will very likely share updates, works in progresses, and so on about this media that I am creating.
• Queer Identity - Gender wise, I am a transmasc, genderqueer enby. I also identify with more niche labels such as boyflux or nonbinary boy. Sexuality wise, I use the labels gay and homosexual, those are separate for me because I like masc and andro genders as a masc enby. I also identify as underneath the aroace umbrella.
• Disabled Identity - I have various disabilities, most of them qualifying as neurodivergent and being professionally diagnosed. I have ASD, ADHD, OCD, GAD, PTSD, PPD, Epilepsy and More. Fake claimers are not welcome.
Now it's time for what is okay and what isn't!! Let's get into that!!
• Sexualization - While I do sometimes post content about or of sexual topics, such as sexual character headcanons or rants about sexual adjacent topics, I do not appreciate the sexual attraction to be directed towards me in any way. I tend to find it uncomfortable and violating if it comes from strangers, regardless of context.
You may see that my asks are open, this is intentional!! This is the important stuff about it!!
I am only open to asks about the topics below:
• Identity Questions - I personally enjoy educating or communicating about my identity. This includes my identity as a creator, my identity as a queer person, my identity as a neurodivergent person, literally any information about myself that I share on my blog is free rein to ask about unless I specifically say otherwise.
• Pride Flag Requests - I am willing to decorate some pride flags of any queer identity, as long as the identity is not inherently harmful (MAP, RCTA, etc), regardless of how well known it is. (Examples below)
• Note - Keep in mind that, while I am certainly open to drawing and writing various things, that does not mean that I would accept every single submission that is asked of me. For free requests, I am not holding myself to any deadlines, any requirements, nothing.
Something I find annoying is when I say "transmascs" as a group or when I say I'm transmasc, and people think they're helping by going "you mean trans MEN, transmascs are different".. like yes, transmascs and trans men are different, but I MEANT transmascs when I said transmascs, not just trans men.
I understand that it's TRYING to be inclusive towards transmasc enbies and transmascs who simply don't identify as "transgender man" , but buddy, I meant exactly what I said. It feels like their attempt for nonbinary inclusion is unintentionally adding to the issue they are trying to correct, erasing transmasc enbies from binary leaning transmasculine discussions.
Not everyone who says "transmasc" secretly means "transgender men in the gender binary" and is uninformed that the terms are different, you know? Some people MEAN transmasc when they say transmasc.
It's just annoying to me personally, like I know the difference of the terms, stop correcting me because you automatically believe I'm talking about binary transgender men when I say what I am or the group I'm apart of.
Warning, I mention sexual topics.. sorta? It's hard to explain, but eh
Do any other autistic or otherwise neurodivergent people naturally do things that allistic & neurotypical people see as inherently sexual, violating, demeaning or inappropriate, even though they're not those things to you?
It may also have to do with the fact that I am under the aroace umbrella, even though I definitely can experience romantic and sexual attraction under certain circumstances, but yeah.
Like sometimes I stim while laying down by moving my hips against a person or object, which others often perceive as me grinding against it when that is NOT what I'm doing or attempting to convey.
Also, I get comforted by the feeling of being tied up to some degree or being in a confined space, as long as I know that I can get myself free at any point. But usually others take that as a bondage kink or something (like yes I have that too, but that's not what this is)
And I like to suck and chew on things, which I know is referred to as oral stimming, and people sexualize that shit too.
I don't perceive any of this as inherently anything. To me, they're neutral, or safe, or self soothing. They're something I do naturally without much thought or intention behind it. To others, I'm being weird, sexual, socially inappropriate, seductive or something else.
That doesn't mean that if this behavior is making others uncomfortable, I'll keep doing it. Obviously I'll respect others boundaries and I wouldn't do any of this around others without asking before and clarifying that it's 100% nonsexual for me, but I don't have another explanation for why this kind of thing even occurs in the first place other than my neurodivergence.
Honestly, it only feels sexualizing, violating, demeaning or anything like that for me when OTHERS read it as that. And in those cases, I end up feeling insanely uncomfortable because my natural state of self is seen in a light that I am not trying to show.
This caused a lot of shit in my childhood as well, so I know it's not something that just randomly appeared in me as a adult, but I'm not going to go into the darker details of that because I know topics like that are a very dark and uncomfortable thing to talk about.
It did have me get shunned a lot as a child though. Well meaning people asked me "where I learned that" a lot, likely out of concern, but I didn't have a answer because I didn't "learn it", it's just that others were perceiving my neurodivergent behaviors through a neurotypical lens of "something must be wrong".
Others were more aggressive with it, they told me to "cut it out" and shit like that, but I genuinely didn't know what the fuck I was doing wrong. I was just existing and people got angry.
Idk, this turned into a vent but you get the gist. Back to my OG question, is this a autistic or generally neurodivergent trait/experience? To naturally do things others see as sexual or demeaning or inappropriate?
This leans heavily into a comphet gay Mike hc rather than bisexual Mike hc, but you could still hypothetically put a bi Mike reading into this.
Mike being more comfortable with Will than El, mainly because he doesn't have to perform anything around Will. He doesn't have to fit the mould of a "perfect hetrosexual boyfriend" around Will like he had to with El. That's not to say El FORCED anything, obviously she didn't, but Mike did feel pressure to conform.
Due to Mike feeling more comfortable with Will, he shows parts of himself in the span of a few months that he hasn't shown El at all during their relationship which lasted literal years.
One of the most noticeable traits he shows is his softness. This one is also a trait that takes a while to show itself, but once it has, it comes out at full force.
Mike starts speaking softer, getting angry less, seeking Will's touch more often, and that's not to say his old personality is non-existent or that he's not as protective of Will around others, but it's definitely way less exaggerated than in his teenage years (yes this is adult/epilogue byler).
Because he doesn't feel like he's required to meet any standards anymore. So, it softens. Small signs of this behavior with Will throughout the years (aka the "Will voice" and stuff like that) start to show itself more prominently.
It takes a while for this behavior to shift outside of when he's alone with Will. Even though Mike feels safe with the group, becoming softer around them like he allows himself to be with Will, it feels embarrassing, scary, de-masculinizing.
Even though Will has known Mike longer than anyone else in the party, he's left learning more about him. The fact that he responds well to praise. How quickly he will calm down if you run your hands through his hair. The way he nuzzles into Will's chest and puts a leg over Will's when they're going to sleep.
Will is one of the main ones that helps Mike feel safe to be soft around the group. Mainly by implementing those very things into everyday interactions with them.
Mike is arguing with Max about how she's not stirring the batter good enough for Dustin's birthday cake, so Will ruffles his hair and he becomes annoyed but not angry. Mike jokes about how his handwriting is shit and Will says that it isn't, it's actually better than his own, and Mike looks away to hide a smile.
Initially, Mike is a little defensive, moving Will's hand away from his hair around the party, but eventually, it reaches a point where Mike leans his head on Will's shoulder around the party without thinking about it. Or Mike begins to relax more in public around Will's presence.
That doesn't mean they'd be obvious about dating in the general public, they'd be a gay couple in the 90s at this point, but Mike would still subconsciously soften his voice and feel safer when he senses Will's presence in the room.
People labeled as "TME": I feel very uncomfortable with TME/TMA labels being forced onto me because they go off of my assigned sex at birth and that makes it feel like it's repeating a gender binary
TME/TMA users: Oh look, a whiny TME is transmisogynistic, how surprising, shut up.
People labeled as "TME": I feel dismissed by society because I'm transgender
TME/TMA users: okay well TMA people actually get dismissed by society MORE, so shut up.
People labeled as "TME": I was physically attacked because I'm transgender
TME/TMA users: well TMA people get attacked more and targeted more and you're lucky to not be targeted as often, so shut up.
People labeled as "TME": I feel like everyone hates me and sees me as inherently bad for being transgender
TME/TMA users: okay but you're not even TMA, so actually everyone loves you and you're not hated at all, so shut up.
People labeled as "TME": I was sexually assaulted because I'm transgender
TME/TMA users: TMA people get sexually assaulted a lot more and it's actually a lot worse, so shut up.
People labeled as "TME": I was denied basic human necessities because I'm transgender
TME/TMA users: No because you're TME so that doesn't happen actually. I'm not going to help you because only TMA's experience that, given the fact that TME's are the most privileged people ever, you're obviously lying, so shut up.
People labeled as "TME": I don't like the TME/TMA labels actually and they feel inherently harmful
TME/TMA users: ...WHAT??! THIS IS COMPLETELY OUT OF NOWHERE, DO YOU ABSOLUTELY DESPISE TRANSFEMS WITH EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING?!
Anyone else diagnosed with PPD (paranoia personality disorder) who treat horror/thriller media in the same way that lactose intolerant people treat dairy??
"I'm gonna loose sleep tonight and likely feel so goddamn terrified I'll freeze up and start shaking uncontrollably at the same time as I feel like somebody's watching me and they're planning to kill me in my sleep, which will cause me to keep myself awake and perfectly still all night... anyway back to that horror serie-"
Take that's either scolding hot or freezing cold based on what side of Tumblr this goes to:
TME/TMA terms are 100,000% a completely useless and redundant term.
Binary Transgender Women are TMA
Nonbinary Transfems are TMA
Neutral Nonbinary People are TMA
Nonbinary Transmascs are TMA
Binary Transgender Men are TMA
If you are transgender in ANY way, no matter what "direction" you're going in, if you are going in any gender whatsoever, etc, you are going to be affected by transmisogyny.
The only people who are not affected by transmisogyny.... are cisgender people.
Cisgender Women are TME
Cisgender Men are TME
Binary Transgender Women and Nonbinary Transfems ARE the main targets of transmisogyny, I'm not arguing against that. But that doesn't mean in ANY way that they are the ONLY ones affected by it.
The oppression you face is rarely about what you actually are, even though it obviously affects people more often who ACTUALLY are the target, It is about what you are perceived as.
Whether you are perceived as the privileged or the oppressed very much does change how you are treated in an oppressive society.
If you are perceived as a trans woman or a woman in general or transgender in general, you are automatically going to be dismissed when you say that you are not those things because transphobes, misogynists and transmisogynists do not give a flying FUCK if you say that you are not their target, they're just going to keep insisting that you are.
Transphobes don't ask if you identify with a transgender identity before deciding to insult, dismiss or attack you.
Misogynists don't ask if you identify with a feminine gender identity before deciding to insult, dismiss or attack you.
Transmisogynists don't ask if you identify with a transfeminine gender identity before deciding to insult, dismiss or attack you.
They go solely based on what they SEE because they are close minded, immature and hateful assholes.
Chat, I have heard that AFAB and AMAB terminology is for intersex people to explain and talk about their own intersex identity in comparison to perisex people. And therefore, perisex transgender people should not be using this term, given the fact that it is for intersex people to describe their own experience.
I am not very educated on intersex people, I will admit. And I myself am perisex, specifically having a female sex (sorry if that's not how I should say that) as a transmasculine nonbinary guy. So, this is my first time hearing of this after I have been using this terminology, assuming it was for all transgender people regardless of if they were intersex.
I am posting this to ask for more information about this terminology and the general intersex experience that I should be aware of, along with knowing if I should be using these terms (I'm leaning towards no?) and, if I should not be, if there are any more respectful alternative terms to describe the experience of being raised as a girl.
Additionally, does this also apply to FTM and MTF terminology as well, or just AFAB and AMAB?
So, with that said, can anybody inform and educate me about this? Thank you in advance.
Criticizing or calling out a transgender woman for being mysogynistic when she genuinely behaves in ways that show she has internalized mysogyny ≠ being transmysogystic towards her, dismissing her struggles or misgendering her btw
This is just as much autistic byler hcs and analysis as it is lawless fyi
So you know the hc of byler being a autistic4autistic couple? I really like exploring how that would work in a lawless/sexual context. In this post, I will be talking more about bottom Mike than bottom Will, simply because, while I do believe that they switch, I just like the idea of Mike bottoming more than I like the idea of Will bottoming (I like subversions of expectations let me live /j)
Before I get into this, I am a autistic gay guy myself, this is not a fetishization of autism or autistic people at all, nor is it fetishization of gay men, I mainly like to explore how different aspects of these characters would genuinely affect their sex lives, I am talking from inside the house.
With all that said, I'm going to get into it now.
Byler accidentally replicating bdsm sub/dom dynamics without the knowledge of what that is because they have the tism.
I hc Mike as hyperverbal autistic, but I also hc him as being a autistic character who thinks that they have to talk in a specific way to be seen as normal if that makes sense. (This definitely isn't taking from my own experience, what your crazy /j)
While Mike is more naturally hyperverbal, he also feels the need to pretend normalcy in things such as his speaking patterns or things along those lines. This makes even casual conversation very stressful, dreadful and overall very effort-consuming for him.
Meanwhile, Will is sort of the opposite but also kind of similar. For Will, he was nonverbal as a child, and as he grew older, he became more "typical" with how often he spoke. But, similarly to Mike, Will also feels trapped by his own masking, because I hc him as extremely high masking. Additionally, I like the idea that a lot of his hedging and general timidness throughout the series is moreso him masking blunt speaking patterns, because Lonnie would likely abuse him more if he spoke bluntly.
So, in a sexual context, these characters find it very cathartic and healing to engage in certain bdsm-esque sexual dynamics. At first, it's not even intentional.
Will gives Mike direct orders and Mike just.... obeys without a word. Will doesn't have to worry about softening his direct tone because his direct tone is actually WANTED and DESIRABLE in this context. Mike doesn't have to worry about saying the wrong thing or feeling pressured to communicate things in a neurotypical way, he can just turn his brain to mush, whine or make gestures to communicate what he wants, and he doesn't have to worry about masking his speaking patterns if he rarely speaks.
Mike actually LIKES when Will's tone seems too blunt, or demanding, because, for once, it's clear enough that Mike knows exactly how to make someone happy and structured enough that he feels 100% secure. Will actually LIKES that Mike just obeys without complaint, because, for once, he's in complete control of the social dynamic and he doesn't have to hedge around requests or add a forced "..I mean if you want to" after saying something he really wants, since not doing those automatically reads as "you are demanding this thing from me" from a neurotypical social audience.
Mike also has a lot of social insecurities involving how he is perceived in social situations. Is he doing good? Is this right? What should he be doing? Is he fucking everything up?
So, when Mike asks Will "am I doing good?", Will immediately goes "yes, you're doing such a good job for me" and that turns them both on more so they keep doing it, adding it into their sexual vocabulary (I wonder why they like it..)
And eventually, Will is talking about this sexual dynamic he has with Mike to a friend, to which he is describing this extremely bdsm coded dynamic, and the friend just goes "yeah, subs with praise kinks tend to like that" or something and Will just goes "...huh"
I never got the thing of "it's so very hard to genderbend *insert transgender character inside of the gender binary*!! What do I turn them into??" Cuz yes, that's something people say sometimes with genderbends and it's honestly just so.. simple to me?
Like they go "do I make this transgender woman into a cisgender man? Do I make this transgender man into a cisgender woman?" Like bro? You can still keep their transgender identity?
If you are genderbending a character who is FTM, make them MTF. If you are genderbending a character who is MTF, make them FTM. I promise you, it is NOT that hard to comprehend??
And, while it matters on the specific identity, because androgynous genders are more tricky I will admit, some nonbinary characters fit this too. Like if you want to genderbend a agender nonbinary character, pangender is RIGHT there. And vise versa.
This is a character exploration of how a character would behave, dress and act differently if they were a man instead of a woman or a woman instead of a man, or any other combination, so maybe try to explore and think about this for more than 2 seconds.
Transandrophobes: "transmascs and trans men don't experience mysogyny, only people who identify as women get seen as women, you're identifying as men so you're seen as men now by absolutely everybody and you have no idea what mysogyny feels like first hand because you obviously never experienced mysogyny before or after you realized you're a masculine gender. Shut up, privileged group"
Transmascs & Trans men: "some of us can experience mysogyny, due to transphobic misgendering actually, transphobes and misogynists still treat us as women, even if we don't identify as that. We're not as privileged as cisgender men, even though we may not experience mysogyny as often as cisgender and transgender women alike, though that is dependent on various factors like gender presentation, whether we are out as trans men, and so on, but transphobic and mysogynistic people still see us as women"
Transandrophobes: "no they don't. They treat you like cisgender men. You're just mysogynistic men trying to play the victim. You can't claim you experience mysogyny if you're a man now"
Transmascs & Trans men: "okay, I get that our experiences are not the exact experience of women, so we will create a new term to describe the gender based oppression we are facing, that way, we can better differentiate between the transmasculine experience with mysogyny due to transphobic misgendering and the women's experience with mysogyny due to their actual gender identity"
Transandrophobes: "No you're supposed to shut the fuck up and become women again!!"
