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[kittenscookie]

Listen listen!

Odysseus finding a baby Percy, why he alive no one knows maybe Hades doesn’t want to deal with him and he takes one look at the baby realizes Poseidon is a dead beat and said mine

Percy is now badass for being trained by the warrior of the mind and Athena loves him because that means he is her grand baby and she approves of him for annabeth

Ody adopting baby Percy implies that Sally is dead and I can work with that.

Zeus finds out about Percy's existence a whole 11 years earlier and sends a hurricane and monsters to kill him. When the dust settles Sally is dead and Zeus assumes he got the baby too and under normal circumstances he would. But these aren't normal circumstances—these are Odysseus of Ithaca circumstances. Sally and Odysseus had been friends for a couple months at that point (Ody having never found the right time to tell her who he was/used to be if he's been reincarnated) and he could not leave his friend's baby to die.

Now Poseidon knew Percy had survived—he didn't know how but he wasn't about to question a miracle. He didn't question it for a whole 11 years until Percy was right before him giving him the vilest stink eye imaginable. And as he was questioning that specifically he was sucker punched, pinned to the ground and trident ripped out of his hands as he summoned it. Then he saw his attackers face and his ichor ran cold.

Poseidon: You...

Odysseus: Me.

Ody is ripped off him before he can start stabbing. And 3,000-year-old beef is reignited, though they both try to keep it to a minimum for Percy's sake.

[b1g-b0y]

Hermes and Athena Kids be so damn Jealous tho

[b1g-b0y]

Genie : Greetings summoner I shall grant you three wishes but first the rules .1) I Won’t Kill anyone-

Me : Yeah yeah yeah Don’t kill anyone, No love potion shenanigans and no necromancy got it

Genie : Uhhhh……. Yes well let’s be getting to your wishes

Me : I wish to never pay bills

Genie : In what sense

Me : It’s always payed for by someone else and not from my bank account

Genie : Uh okay * Snaps fingers* Wish granted

Me : I want my house to clean and repair itself

Genie: Elaborate

Me : Like say I didn’t clean my room or I didn’t know how to repair something I want it to always fix or clean itself

Genie : Uh okay * snaps fingers* Wish granted

Me : Wish for infinite wealth

Genie : ah a normal wish

Me : No like I always have enough for the things I want

Genie : Uh Fine *Snaps Fingers* Final wish granted … Later Psycho

[batsandbirdbrains]

JL making a scrapbook for test baby Dick except they took the ‘scrap’ part too literally.

Now I’m imagining shit like “Dick’s first tooth knocked out” with Dick spitting blood on the floor and Diana looking proud behind him and “Dick’s first mind invasion” with big fat tears rolling down his cheeks as J’onn hovers awkwardly and “Dick’s first explosion” with him shook, holding the fragments of one of Ollie’s exploding arrows. Some honorable mentions: “Dick’s first time being waterboarded” (Aquaman hadn’t even meant to do it) “Dick’s first time being impaled” (nobody looked particularly happy in that one) “Dick’s first resuscitation” (in a different handwriting, someone wrote the word “Oops”) and “Dick’s first time being lassoed”

Dick’s entire book is just him going through The Horrors™️. Meanwhile everyone else’s is just like “Wally’s first sugar crash” “Donna’s first team mission” “Roy’s first birthday celebration” “Aqualad’s first time eating pizza” and other silly shit.

Instead of the JL seeing nothing wrong it, I want them to do the thing that bad parents do where they get selective amnesia, and they’re all just like “hmmm I don’t recall this happening.” or “I don’t think that’s something I did” They don’t even really think about it themselves until they actually start going through Dick’s book and they’re just like… “we weren’t that harsh, were we?” But like the only JL member that was even remotely sympathetic to Dick during the horrors of his childhood was Shazam. The JL was just on some crazy wack shit while raising Dick and just decided to forget about it.

Now I’m imagining Dick listening to the others complain about their mentors babying them and whatnot and just breaking the fourth wall to stare at us like he’s Jim from the office. He’d probably be soooo sick of their shit.

This is so sad tf 😭

But I like the selective amnesia maybe combined with them not thinking it was that bad.

Cracking up though at the idea that Dick is hearing everyone around him complain about their respective mentors babying him, then staring off like he’s in the office.

All of them are bitching and moaning about how these albums are babyish and so embarrassing. Meanwhile Dick is staring at the picture of his nine year old self with his lower lip bleeding and swollen and bruised because he’d been hit so hard during training and got slammed on the floor face-first so hard that one of his teeth cut straight through the inside of his lip and had poked out the outside. He’s crying and has tears running down his face and is trying to pull away from the JL member who’s trying to clean up his face.

[faramirsonofgondor]

Ok but imagine how pissed the rest of them would be when they see Dick’s scrapbook. Like the entire time they’ve known Dick, he’s let them complain to him about how they’re being babied, about how they wish their training was more advanced, about how they want to do more serious and rigorous stuff, and Dick never said a word to them about the shit he went through.

They’re all going through their scrapbooks together, laughing and reminiscing, and then they get to Dick’s, and there’s literally a bloodstain on the first fucking page. The JL founders start to laugh nervously and start awkwardly saying shit like “Wow… looks we kinda overdid it that time… heh, whoops.” except it’s like that for literally every fucking page. It just gets worse as it goes on and even the JL are starting to wonder if they were mind controlled or something during that time, but Dick is just brushing it all off and going “yea that actually really came in handy a few years down the line when Slade tried to waterboard me, lol.” All of his friends are shaking with rage, but there’s not really a way to resolve this, is there? Not unless they want to try to arrest the founding members of the JL for child endangerment and abuse, and who knows how that would impact the rest of the hero/vigilante community at large.

And what’s worse? Some of the happiest moments in their scrapbooks were moments they spent with Dick, like their first sleepover, their first birthday party with the team, etc. And the scrapbooks that Dick has made for the kids he’s mentored? They’re the most well-designed, intricate, and cared for scrapbooks of the pile. There’s not a single moment in those scrapbooks of Dick causing them pain or fear.

[batsandbirdbrains]

I want everyone to have +10000 psychic damage when Dick looks turns a page and then chuckles like, “Heh, you wouldn’t believe how mad Slade got when he realized Aquaman waterboarded me first! He hates being in second place.”

[faramirsonofgondor]

“Hahaha, OMG, I forgot you split my ribs that one time when you used the lasso on me, Aunty Di. Slade was so fucking pissed that he kept coming in second place that he threatened to brand me. Joke was on him though, since Bruce already did that on my foot that one time.”

“THEY DID FUCKING WHAT????”

“Don’t overreact guys, I mean if you think that’s bad, then I don’t even wanna know what you would think about that time they accidentally left me stranded in the Watchtower for six days with a broken arm. Or the time J’onn used telepathy to make me think that I was stuck in a microwave and slowly melting for five hours.”

“…….”

“What?”

“… We do not recall the incidents of which you speak.”

“Next you’ll tell me you forgot about how Arthur dangled me over a bunch of sharks. Or when Clark acted like he was gonna toss me into the sun. Or when Ollie put a bomb in my room.”

“It wasn’t a bomb, it was just an exploding arrow!”

[batsandbirdbrains]

I’m laughing so hard at Oliver being so indignant that “it wasn’t a BOMB!! >:( it was an exploding arrow!! Big difference!!”

“They both go boom, Uncle Ollie.”

“Yes but one is a much bigger boom and one a smaller not as big boom!”

“I was TEN and it EXPLODED MY HOT WHEELS COLLECTION! It didn’t matter how big the boom was!!”

[faramirsonofgondor]

I just know Roy would be scheming so hard on where he should plant his exploding arrows. (Hehe, exploding arrow)

No okay but seriously, I can see Roy watching this conversation go down, and all of the Titans are lurking in the background coming up with highly specific revenge schemes against their former mentors.

Roy decides to rig exploding arrows in Oliver’s toilets, so that they explode after Oliver tries to flush the toilet. He also shaves Oliver’s mustache into the shape of a Hot Wheel.

[faramirsonofgondor]

Wait okay but also I think it would be so funny if the thing that traumatized Dick the most out of all of this was J’onn making him think he’s stuck in a microwave. Like Dick still has nightmares about being trapped in the microwave, heating up as he slowly spins in a circle while he tries to escape. Actually now that I think about it that sounds fucking horrific. I think it would be even worse because J’onn didn’t want to do it in the first place, but Batman insisted on it (either as a punishment or for training) and the others agreed with him. Bruce told them all that Dick was fine but when Dick started living on his own he had a panic attack every time he tried to use the microwave, which is why he lives off of cereal.

[batsandbirdbrains]

Jesus Christ though can you imagine being a kid being psychically convinced that you’re being SLOWLY COOKED like a TV dinner?? I could totally see him having a (not so irrational at that point) fear of microwaves.

He moves into his first apartment and after one day, he unplugs the microwave, shoves it in the back of a closet or something, sticks a blanket over it, and then pretends he never had one in the first place.

[b1g-b0y]

I just can just imagine Dick Grayson who just moved into his first apartment turns into the kitchen

And immediately cycles it out the window

[b1g-b0y]

Bruce Wayne is a more Emo version of Loid Forger or Loid Forger is a espionage spy version of Bruce Wayne

And Clark Kent is Yor Forger but male and not an assassin or Yor Forger is a female assassin Clark Kent

Various of their children can be Anya

[dercolaris-deactivated20240605]

*Intense reblogging*

[halfdeadnarmy]

GUYS KICK HIM DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS

[the-jason-todd-impreganator]

LET’S GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

[crow-crystal]

WOOP WOOP!

[artstaeus3600]

INFINITE STAIRS!

[that-weird-thing-in-the-woods]

GET HIM!

[b1g-b0y]

FUCK YEAH

[saintd0nna]

happy pride to him

[trollrider1111]

Gay broke sober king 🤴

[b1g-b0y]

More like

Gay Rich Sober king

[b1g-b0y]

You know the Chicken Jockey trend that’s destroying movies

I bet the minecraft movie is banned in Gotham because the movies was just bombed

This is not a one time thing

[idiot-h00ker]

Considering a dcxmarvel cross over where Peter is dick graysons son and somehow Peter ands up on a team with Jaime Reyes and some other young heroes and they all get dosed with truth serum some how, and they finish the mission but then they end up in the watch tower and Jaime just,

He blurts out “does anyone else wanna kiss Peter sometimes?”

And the entire room is frozen bc it’s well established the bats have a history of pulling bitches on their teams

And then everyone of the Peter/jaime team just goes “obviously, have you seen him”

And then one of the Kent’s (probably Connor) just shouts “THE CURSE LIVES ON!”

[b1g-b0y]

Peter is oblivious to this he’s just naturally charismatic this is basically how he got a date in his own universe

[b1g-b0y]

Billy Batson Fic Idea💡

Billy Batson but he has to go to a wizarding school

So a bunch of wizarding community’s start having a meeting on who’s gonna teach the literal champion of magic

They all decide to let him go to Hogwarts

At hogwarts he meets Albus potter and Scorpius malfoy turning into an unlikely friendship

[transformersanddc]

Billy Batson, The Fill in for Robin. (WIP)

In all honesty Bruce had never really intended for Billy to always be a substitute for when Damian was sick or not available to go out as Robin. It just so happened that Billy was almost Always available to fill in as Robin.

Usually he would only have Billy fill in when none of his other children were patrolling, he didn’t need to hear them complaining about him adopting another Black haired Blue eyed child. (He tried it didn’t work) but unfortunately Dick decided to suit up that night and ended up running into Billy and Bruce, Well Robin and Batman.

At First Dick been shocked that there was another Robin, Did Damian know? Did Alfred know was honestly the more important question. Of course he knew he was most likely the one who made another costume for the poor kid!

[b1g-b0y]

Billy: Bruce why am I here

Bruce: Well Billy I kinda…. Needanewrobin

Billy: I’m sorry what?

Bruce: I need a new Robin but don’t worry it’s not permanent just need a Robin until my Robin gets better

Billy: if this is an adoption thing

Bruce: it doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it

Billy: good cause I don’t want to be adopted

Bruce: :( well then it’d not..

[shortbcofkoffee]

Bruce, at a neighborhood gathering, talking to Jack Drake: Where's Janet?

Jack: Oh, she's sitting down. Carrying a baby all day really tires you out. Speaking of which, you haven't met Timothy yet!

Jack, stealing Tim from Janet to show him to Bruce: Look at this piece of heaven that came down just for us!

Baby Tim: bah •_-

Bruce: ...

Bruce, mentally: Yeah, I need to take him home. I need to raise that thing. He's perfect.

- years later-

Bruce, at Jack’s funeral with Tim at his side: I was playing the long game, idiot.

Tim, through tears: What..?

Bruce, putting an arm around him: Nothing, sweetheart.

[b1g-b0y]

I can imagine Bruce just full on stalking Tim that just became a Obssession or a par-asocial relationship

Where Tim was stalking Batman and Robin Bruce Wayne was stalking Tim Drake

[b1g-b0y]

Peter in Gotham fic but instead of a fluffy found family deal we usually get

Let’s get more diabolical people

It starts off nice enough the usual

Peter joining the Batfam after finding out he’s Dick Graysons son from an alternate reality

But when Peter starts talking about going home

It becomes a manipulation battle to get him to stay

If that doesn’t work they put a nullification collar on him can keep him cage until they can find a permanent solution

[logince]

Captain Marvel, Shazam, is looking into missing children in Fawcett and surrounding areas. The trail leads him back to Gotham, with it's seedy underbelly and high number of trafficking cases.

Billy Batson goes undercover in his civilian identity to gather info, because who pays attention to a homeless kid in a bad neighborhood?

Red Hood, apparently.

[the-fyre-flie]

Ouu this is great

Billy, intentionally wandering around the worst parts of Gotham at night alone, thin hoodie and beat up sneakers making it obvious he wouldn't have anyone looking for him if he went missing. He's totally ready to be kidnapped or for someone to offer him a shady job as a goon. And it works! Sorta...

Billy: Uh... what do you want?

Red Hood, gruff but sounding genuinly concerned: Are you alone out here, kid? Where's your parents?

Billy, thinking this is part of the weird kid recruitment strategy: Dead...

Red Hood: Oh... do you need a place to stay? I have a place you can hang at until we can find you something permanent.

Billy, thinking 'we' means the Red Hoods gang: um... yeah, actually.

Billy was expecting a dingy warehouse, maybe something super sinister like kids locked in cages. What he was led to was a... actual orphanage. Like a functional, fully fledged orphanage, with volunteer staff and hot food and everything. Turns out the missing kids in Fawcett have been ending up in Gotham and being almost instantly put into this particular orphanage after being found by Red Hood. The only reason the kids are 'missing' is because of Time Bubble Fawcett City bullshit that keeps messing up the records.

Billy, squinting at a kid he knows for a fact used to live under the overpass in Fawcett: So... Youre not kidnapping kids for a child gang?

Red Hood, who's got like 6 kids clinging to him asking for stories and play time: No??? What- why would you even think that??? I'm a drug dealer not a monster.

Billy: hmmm...

[helps-the-writing-brain-go]

The child gang turns out to be on the inside.

When the hero who gives you a better life is a gang leader with more weapons on his person than teeth, it tends to skew who these kids idolize.

The kids beg for stories and sweets and hugs from Red Hood.

Meanwhile, the orphanage's art room has racks of paper mache red helmets drying on the shelves, and red paint and crayons and colour pencils is a top expense.

The kids who have been in gangs, or watched their parents be in gangs ride herd on the others.

No one is the Boss, because clearly Red Hood is, but they're like mini-bosses. Child Lieutenants.

They keep sweets in little baggies, in hidden pockets in their back packs or pants and shoes. Everyone has at least one makeshift shiv.

You never find one of Red Hood's orphan kids alone, they always travel in packs and you might never see the others coming.

They're also fiercely independent and yet clingy to each other, their caretakers and Red Hood.

Billy kind of likes it.

He's not a baby in their eyes.

He's just one of Them.

It very much doesn't convince Billy that Red Hood isn't raising child gangs, but at least he seems to mean we'll while doing it? Everyone seems really happy anyway.

And what child gang fills their library wall to wall with classical literature and picture books and non-fiction?

You didn't exactly need to be well educated to be a low level goon.

[the-fyre-flie]

Since Jasons Robin -> Red Hood pipeline is VERY much Robin *Hood* and Red *Riding* Hood inspired (poor kid, steal from rich/give to poor, lonesome person who feels tricked by a Big Bad Wolf, well meaning but hurt because of it, etc), I'd like to think that if a kid gang formed around Red Hood, they would call themselves the Merry Men (despite all being like age 6-16 lol)

Billy, flipping through a very worn book about Greek myths: So... you like it here?

Random Kid, fiddling with an old hand held game console: Yeah! Big Red is real nice! He brings us treats! *passes the console to a different kid to take turns*

Billy, nodding: And you're not like... forced to do gang stuff?

Kid: Nope! The Merry Men do it so we can protect each other and Big Red! Wanna join? You could be a Little Red! (Little Reds would be like heads of areas lol)

Billy, putting down the book: Uh... ya know what, sure.

Billy ends up joining the Merry Men and quickly ranks up. He's incredibly respected, and he teaches some of the newer / younger kids who to protect themselves.

Jason doesn't super support the whole Child Gang thing but he can't stop them. They outnumber him like hundreds to one and the whole "would you fight 100 first graders or 10 5th graders" would become very real very fast. He pays for a lot of their expenses, checks in frequently, and when he realizes that Billy "Captain Marvel" Batson joined, he lays off scolding the kids as much. They're in good hands.

Billy once showed up as Captain Marvel and the kids fucking *adored* it. Big Red (Hood) and Big Red Cheese!

[b1g-b0y]

Batman finds out and is just so disappointed and concerned

[b1g-b0y]

Billy Batson is the Peter Parker of the DC Multiverse think about it they both have a tether to a construct of the multiverse that they are immensely connected to

They both are extremely tragic characters that always deserve better than what they are given

Both are the punching bag of their respected multiverse and both are severely undervalued and estimated by those around them

Both are extremely competent and adored by their fandoms

[currentlyjaywalking]

I agree wholeheartedly, but may I also posit Billy and Steve Rogers?

-both got stuck in time and oops it's the future now

-Was a little guy but was so good and willing to fight for others that he was chosen to be a Big Guy

-villain is a literal high ranking WWII nazi official

- Captains (obviously)

[b1g-b0y]

Or Peter Parker and Bruce Wayne

Both start their war against crime by the death of their loved one/ones

Both have similar villains like

Sandman and clayface

Joker and green Goblin

The lizard and Killer croc

Mysterio and Scarecrow

[colossrat]

Random Villain after committing a very evil act: hahaha, now what? What are you going to do with me!? I know you don't kill!

Billy is furious, there is smoke coming out of his ears and he is red with anger as he holds his fists and grinds his teeth

Marvel: I… I… I curse you! I CURSE YOU FOR YOUR SINS, YOUR HORRIBLE ACTIONS, I PLACE A CURSE ON YOU, IN YOUR BLOOD!!!

the sky closes, the environment begins to cool and the shadows around you seem to move, threatening to grow and swallow all the light

Marvel: THE DAYS, THE HOURS OF LIFE UNTIL YOUR LAST BREATH WILL BE FULL OF AGONY, YOU WILL SUFFER. WITH EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE, THE FEELING OF GUILT AND REGRET WILL BURN IN YOUR LUNGS, YOUR FACE AND YOUR TIPERS, I CURSE YOU TO A LIFE OF HICCUPING! --

Villain: what...?

Marvel: --A LIFE WITHOUT AIR. YOUR LUNGS WILL NEVER BE FULLY FULL AND NO SENTENCE OF YOURS WILL BE COMPLETE, EVEN IN YOUR SLEEP YOU WILL BE TORMENTED WITH THE MOST DISTURBING SOUNDS THAT YOUR OWN BODY WILL CREATE--

Villain: You dont mean-- *hiccup* --oh... and then marvel leaves after handing the guy over to the police

the villain actually goes crazy some days later. he sobs incessantly. He can't sleep properly because he keeps waking up, the other prisoners don't stay close to him because he doesn't stop making those sounds, he choked several times because he was hiccuping while eating, his throat and lungs started to hurt because he didn't get any rest from the muscle spasms too So he has body pain, no one interacts with him or wants to stay in the same room as him, he can't communicate properly, nor sleep or eat. Eventually the government asks Marvel to remove the curse so he can stop hiccuping, because he entered a catatonic state and tried to strangle himself to make it stop The Justice League eventually finds out about this case and they honestly don't know what to make of it. They knew the captain would never do something harsh because he's good that way, but they were quite surprised that he managed to turn a relatively silly punishment into something that was almost torture

[b1g-b0y]

Villains finding out about this would make for more creative ways of torture

[b1g-b0y]

Instead of William Afton coming back in security Breach it could have been a cult following in his obsession with immortality

It would have made sense why Vanny was in the game

The cult could have found some of Williams findings

So they killed kids so that they could harvest immortality

They could have been wearing bunny suits in honour of the person who founded immortality

The pizza plex could be a cover up for the cult

Have Gregory be an escaped sacrifice trying to escape with a glamrock Freddy mask

Or if he fails and like in ruin Cassie tries looking for her missing friend

She goes looking in the last known location he was seen at

[b1g-b0y]

What if Garfield Logan was born into the Marvel universe as a mutant son of mystique, the youngest

It’d be an interesting dynamic

A southern red head

A Blue Catholic demon

And a Green thirteen year old with a skater personality