Sapnap: I want to set something on fire.
Bad: We don't turn to arsony my child.
Sapnap: Hmm..
Sapnap turning towards Skeppy: Dad I wanna set something on fire!
Skeppy: Anything is free game so long as it's not the house.
Bad: GEPPY NOโ!!
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@incorrectquotesonlife
Sapnap: I want to set something on fire.
Bad: We don't turn to arsony my child.
Sapnap: Hmm..
Sapnap turning towards Skeppy: Dad I wanna set something on fire!
Skeppy: Anything is free game so long as it's not the house.
Bad: GEPPY NOโ!!
Until you realize that you accidentally set up a routine where you always have to wake up on time the next day and now you want to go back to sleep because you are way too tired for this shit but you can't because you have responsibilitiesโข to fulfill.
"If a person with infinite patience gets mad at you, make sure you run for the hills without looking back."
-Any Batfam after blowing up the Kitchen for the 4th time in a single week.
Philza: WHO STOLE MY SANDWICH!? I OUGHTAโ
Technoblade: Ah, sorry that was me.
Philza: โmake you some more, do you like peanut butter?
Blood for the Blood Prince
Ranboo: Techno! Lovely day we're havingโ Why are you here?
Technoblade grunting: You left this.
[Drops Michael in front of Ranboo]
[Ranboo picks Micheal up on his hip]
Ranboo: Uhhh not that I'm not thankful or anything but how did you find him?
Technoblade: He stabbed me.
Ranboo: ....I'm sorry, what.
Michael: BLOOD!
[Techno grunting in approval]
Ranboo: Omygod there's two of themโ
Jaskier: Valdo Marx, my arch nemesis.
Yennefer lurking in the background: ..... I thought I was your arch nemesis?
Jaskier face palming: I have a life outside you, Yennefer.
Loki: Thor.... Why is my favorite dress ripped apart?
Thor: Uhhhhh.... I may or may not have tried to put it on?
Loki: ....
Thor: Loki?
Loki: ....You have 5
Thor: 5 what?
Loki: 4โ
[Thor already running]
The Audacity
Ranboo: I filled up my emerald chest!
Tubbo: Y'know since we're technically married, half of that is mine.
----
[Ranboo dying in the background]
Ranboo: Tubbo, help!
Tubbo: I can't, I'm reading Michael a bedtime story!
Ranboo: Tubbo, you are literally right next to me how are you reading Michael a bedtime story!???
Tubbo: What's that? Sorry I can't hear you, you're too tall.
Ranboo: HOW IS THAT CONNECTED!???
Yennefer: What theโ
Yennefer: Jaskier why the fuck are you hiding behind me, you're literally bigger than me.
Jaskier: SHHHhHhhhhhโ!!!
Yennefer sighing: What did you do this time..?
Jaskier: wellโ
Geralt appearing out of the woods dripping wet and shirtless: JASKIER GIVE ME BACK MY SHIRT YOU BASTARD!
Yennefer: ah.
Geralt: YENNEFER! WHERE IS HE!?
Yennefer: [pointing to her left]
[Geralt running away]
Yennefer:
Jaskier: ...thanks, I owe you.
Yennefer: This one's free.
Jaskier: What.
Yenenfer: I mean we both benefited from it anyway so consider your debt paid.
Jaskier: oh.
Yennefer: Yeah, you might wanna start running though.
Jaskier: huh?
[Geralt's screams getting closer]
Bruce: Damian, why did I got a call from your principal that you apparently hit someone?
Damian: It is not my fault he failed the checking of one's vibe.
Tim laughing on the background: Oh my god...
Bruce: Okay whose responsible for this?
Cass: [slowly raises hand]
Jaskier: Hey Cub, whacha got there?
4 years old Ciri: A KNIFE!
Jaskier: [scrambling out of his seat] CIRI NOโ!
[Eist and Calanthe laughing in the background]
[Meet the Couple(s)]
Molly: [pointing at Will] This is my Husband, Will.
Molly: [pointing at Hannibal] And this is Will's Husband, Hannibal.
[Modern Witcher Au]
Jaskier and Ciri: [Screaming "McDonalds! Mcdonalds! Mcdonalds!" at the top of their lungs]
Geralt: "We have food at home" [But begrudgingly orders a happy meal to get everyone to calm the f*ck down]
Yennefer: [Pulls up to the drive through window and orders a single black coffee and leaves]
touch-starved starters!!
โ no oneโs ever done that to me before. โ
โ could you play with my hair? โ
โ i canโt remember the last time i did this with someone. โย
โ that feels nice. โ
โ i havenโt been hugged in years. โ
โ i never want to let go. โ
โ letโs just cuddle forever. โย
โ you put your arm around me and i literally felt my knees buckle, this is so pathetic. โ
โ i just want to be held for a little while. โ
โ youโre legally obligated to keep holding me. โ
โ i think i forgot what human contact felt like. โ
โ i need to remember what hugs feel like. โ
โ do you mind if we stay like this for a little longer? โ
โ my family was never the touchy-feely type. โ
โ iโve never been in a relationship before, so i donโt really know how to do the wholeโฆkissing thing. โ
โ you were my first kiss. โ
โ could we cuddle, like, platonically? โ
โ iโm in desperate need of a hug. โ
โ i didnโt even know i was ticklish there! โ
-Sincerely, The Witchers of Kaer Morhen
I would just really like a Fem!Geraskier story with a dash of Feral Jaskier.
Like imagine Geralt having her bi awakening when she gets rescued by her supposed damsel in distress friend bard companion.
Imagine the confusion Geralt would feel witnessing Jasโthe bard who faints at the mere sight of blood on her precious dressesโpummeling a group of men twice her height.
Imagine the ANGST/FLUFF/PINING possibilities.
Eggsy: Look Rox, you can't just dive into danger headfirst.
Roxy covered in bandages: That's ironic coming from someone who literally runs into danger 24/7 without thinking.
Eggsy: Someone has to be the responsible one in this relationship, and that's not me.
Eggsy: If I'm the responsible one between the two of us, I doubt we'd be alive till next morning.
Geralt: ....how did this happen.
Geralt: HOW!? [points to Stregobor's corpse laying on the ground]
Jaskier: Well... I stabbed him.
Geralt: HOW??? HE HAS MAGIC!
Jaskier: Yeah he was boasting about it too
Jaskier: But I was like, "I don't need magic to stab a bitch"
Jaskier: So yeah I stabbed him.