Things to be chipper - from a writer & his kitties @things-to-be-chipper - Tumblr Blog

“… you offered them your caring support.”

https://things-to-be-chipper.tumblr.com/post/659092796166340608/is-this-really-your-anxiety https://www.instagram.com/p/CSYEc6QHAe-/?utm_medium=tumblr

Is This Really YOUR Anxiety?

So, you're anxious again. Yea, don't fret, it's normal. We all have our emotional triggers, life issues and breaking points. But does your stress fit into one of those boxes? No? Hmmm. Then, what is it? If you're doing okay, what's left to be anxious about? Maybe, just maybe, it's not you! Maybe, you fell into a bit of a trap that now has you ensnared. If so, the anxiety you're feeling may not really be yours. Sounds impossible, right? Yet, in fact, we do this all the time. Well, here's what I think is happening and here's how to snap out of it.

I suggest that, in these times, you've been unknowingly sucked into someone else's anxiety. Maybe it's your colleague, a friend, your partner, other family members or even a stranger who have made a lasting impact on you. Regardless of who it is or the circumstance, the scenario is likely the same. Someone in your life is having a major issue, real or just perceived. They caught your attention and your caregiver instincts kicked in. You gave them your attention, you listened intently, you saw their problem through their eyes, and you offered them your caring support. Makes sense. This is normal, right? We all have a drive to help others in times of need. But there's a right way and there's a really wrong way to proceed.

First, the wrong way. This is where you hone into their mindset in the hopes to understand them. The problem here is that you run the risk of "purchasing" their problems in the process. And once this happens, you become part of their anxiety-fueled journey. They'll expect you to understand their thinking. They'll expect your unconditional support. And they'll expect your most precious resources, your emotions and time. Well, at that moment, you have to say "No" and set proper boundaries. The right way to continue is to recognize that you've encountered a problem. If you really want to support them, provide them with professional resources. Don't take on this unwinnable battle. And not to fear, it doesn't mean you're heartless or a bad person. Just remember that, when other peoples' problems start affecting your wellbeing, it's time to pull back and let the experts do their job.

“Smile with bright eyes and take a bow.”

this-might-sound-crazy-but-blog

My new book, “This might sound crazy, but …”, is now live on Amazon Kindle under Bipolar Disorder and also Memoirs!

If you haven’t already heard, my book takes you through a first-person journey of a full-blown psychotic episode! It’s unique, shocking and also hilarious! Once you start it, you won’t put it down until you read the miraculous end. Enjoy, friends!

https://www.amazon.com/This-might-sound-crazy-but-ebook/dp/B09B6KD3KR/ref=zg_bsnr_4693_18?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=4B42JRZXGDD95W0V0ZMR

“… there will be a golden time where everyone is accepted …”

https://things-to-be-chipper.tumblr.com/post/657696706588262400/stop-self-stigmatizing-now-lets-face-it-social https://www.instagram.com/p/CRwY0miM3Po/?utm_medium=tumblr

Stop Self-Stigmatizing, Now!

Let’s face it, social stigmas exist. To be fair to our time though, significant improvements have been made in this realm due to the courageous actions of activists, gradual public awareness and widening acceptance. Even still, social stigmas do exist, for all of us, and they don’t want to leave. Perhaps we’re on the right track though. Social acceptance seems to be ratcheting forwards and, I hope, there will be a golden time where everyone is fully accepted for the persons they are. I assume this will be a long-term project, but well-worth all our efforts. There’s one thing I don’t have any patience for, though.

We/I/You need to Stop Self-Stigmatizing! I’m talking to myself here as much as to anyone who has discovered that they have been stigmatized by their society. Basically, my message here is: don’t take our societies’ stigma against you to heart! Eventually, you’ll get pretty good at ignoring ignorance and fears directed at you from the public. But, you Cannot tolerate Any such stigma you hold and direct toward yourself! It’ll just make you feel like it’s wrong for you to be who you are . . . and that’s just heartbreaking. Remember, educate yourself, be good to yourself and try to live a good life. Those useless stigmas may continue to exist on the outside, but purge them from within you and never look back!

“ … I’m allowed to do all that and enjoy it.”

https://things-to-be-chipper.tumblr.com/post/657463098779877376/yes-youre-allowed-to-take-it-easy-maybe-im-not https://www.instagram.com/p/CRpwQFRsIo4/?utm_medium=tumblr

Yes, You’re Allowed To Take It Easy!

Maybe I’m not use to a little relative downtime. I also know, logically, that I should feel free to enjoy it. So maybe I’ll try that. I’ll try to enjoy my day. I’ll make a plan, work through the list, and when the list is all crossed off, I’ll go home without hesitation or shame. I think others would support that. And I would support others of that too. I’m tired, with good reason.

I know what to do today, both at work and at home. And yes, I’m allowed to do all that and enjoy it. I’ll try to give myself that permission and support. Perhaps that’s what’s missing. That self approval. Not to, “do whatever you want”, but to, “do what you think is right” and also, “have fun with what you do” and “you got this, cuz you’ve done much harder things ”. Maybe also, “feel free to be your awesome self!” :D

“ … tell a close person how you feel.”

https://things-to-be-chipper.tumblr.com/post/657383340617433088/dont-let-stress-boss-you-around-apparently-times https://www.instagram.com/p/CRnfS9Ps5Zu/?utm_medium=tumblr

Don’t Let Stress Boss You Around

Apparently, times of legitimately high stress kick my mind into great turmoil. Racing thoughts, intrusive thoughts, hyper vigilance payed to thoughts, escalating stress, identity confusion, and the list goes on. Whatever the experience though, the simple and true explanation is that it is a stress response. Plain and simple. Regardless of the actual stressor, what I experience is intense cognitive distortion that is likely more unbearable than the actual stressor. So, here are some tips.

First, and this is a big one, know that you are not “crazy” or “going crazy” and nothing is “wrong” with you. Stress is normal and real. I’m sure we all experience stress in different ways and this is how you experience it. That’s okay. Next tip, catch it early. Don’t tell your stress response totally infiltrate your attention and cognition. When you feel the symptoms, label it as a stress response. This is an effective first step that really helps. Next, ride it out. By that point, you’ll already know that you’re just experiencing your particular brand of stress response. It WILL subside, everything WILL go back to normal and you ARE totally okay.

Trust this advice. Use it. Use it as you need it. Don’t get scared. Don’t freak out. Stay tough. Also, feel free to tell a close person how you feel. You don’t have to get into all the details of your cognition. Just tell them that you’re stressed, talk about what’s causing the stress, and maybe even go over your options. Remember, stress is normal and unavoidable, it’s totally understandable and everyone has their own type of stress response. Learn to cope with yours and this will be a wonderful life skill that you can bring with you wherever you go!

“Here, I feel good, bad, exhausted, agitated, hopeful …”

https://things-to-be-chipper.tumblr.com/post/657282405822087168/guide-to-your-emotional-mind-okay-i-have-flimsy https://www.instagram.com/p/CRk9O1FM6Pb/?utm_medium=tumblr

Guide to Your Emotional Mind

Okay, I have flimsy evidence, but it still may be true. My suggestion here is that, as I drift off into my mind (which happens often, near seamlessly and is completely normal) this is my Wise-mind switching gears to the Emotional Mind. Here, I feel good, bad, exhausted, agitated, hopeful, shameful, etc. Pretty much any and all emotions can pop up, shift, diminish and inflate. I think of myself as a level-headed and rational person, so I didn’t consider that it’s actually my Emotional mind that I’m using and paying attention to when I daydream or stew in my mind.

That’s pretty much it for the insight, haha. It is important to characterize it this way though. This is because, sometimes those emotions will take hold and cause either great positive or negative cognitive stimulation to the point where I will forget what’s happening. In fact, it is possibly just the Emotional Mind at work. My advice? Let it do its thing. It’s there to express your feelings, even if they may be irrational and even if it’s expressing things to itself. A big tip here is, don’t freak out! You’re not weird, a bad person, super great, super judged or going crazy. Those are all your worst fears that the Emotional Mind is fixated on in times of great stress. I don’t understand it or why, but I know this to be true for me.

So, how to break out of the turmoil? Try to remind yourself that you’re just experiencing the Emotional Mind. It has a very important purpose and role, even if you can’t understand it. Just let it do its thing and eventually you’ll snap back to your Wise-mind. And guess what? I’m pretty sure it’s the Logical mind that will help the Wise-mind settle itself using internal CBT techniques. Invariably though, the goal is to allow the Emotional mind and Logical mind to do their own things without attention, all so that the Wise-mind (what you call You or I or Me) can be grounded and LIVE YOUR LIFE however you want. Also, the settled Wise-mind will realise that you are an awesome person with an awesome life. Hope that helps :D

“… I know that I’ve done the right things …”

https://things-to-be-chipper.tumblr.com/post/657195823039447040/a-non-spiritual-appreciation-of-karma https://www.instagram.com/p/CRidEpxMthe/?utm_medium=tumblr

A Non-Spiritual Appreciation Of Karma

I think I understand the concept of Karma in a broad sense, even without being raised within a culture that discovered it. To me, within my worldview, I consider Karma as an ever-present storage bank. Within this, there are credits and there are debts. So, correspondingly, actions that are generally deemed good or positive by one's society and moral compass are the credits while the opposite is true for negatives and their depts. But, so what? What does this really mean for a Westerner who doesn't have the true spirituality to fully appreciate Karma, as it was intended by Eastern cultures? Well, while I may not be able to connect with this essense of Karma, I can still make use of this concept for the sake of myself and for my society. And here's how.

First, consider what you want in your life. Think deeply. Now, pick just the one facet of your life that you treasure above all else. For me, it's the concept of a "peace of mind." To me, this is the foundation for all else in my life. When my mind is settled, I can be productive, helpful, skilled, and my days and nights progress smoothly and happily. And all good things follow, until I'm hit by bad days. But even then, when my mind is at peace, I can accept, handle and even conquer my challenges. Great, right? Maybe you've been here and know the feeling. Otherwise, take this to heart - I believe that a great "peace of mind" can be achieved by anyone and everyone who sets a firm goal of enacting positive actions and avoiding the negatives. This, in turn, will do two things.

On the immediate timescale, doing good settles my mind in a very particular way. Specifically, consistently doing good frees my mind of guilt, of shame, of doubt and of worry. Here, I know that I've done the right things and I have no reason to consider otherwise. Next, on the longer-term and without my attention, this sets me up for the potential of positive future outcomes. Here, I can bask in the rewards of my prior history of good deeds. Therefore, as a whole and as a lifestyle, doing good and banking a wealth of Karma credit can only help you by settling your mind, fostering healthy relationships, keeping a good physical well-being, and setting the foundations of a bright future. Sure, tragedy and ill-fortune finds each of us, in good time. But, until then, our minds can be clear and able to appreciate our lives and the world around us.

“… skirmishes between opposing factions who are simply vying for power …”

https://things-to-be-chipper.tumblr.com/post/657086407883603968/does-true-debate-really-exist-yes-it-does-but https://www.instagram.com/p/CRfC1ifsr94/?utm_medium=tumblr

Does “True Debate” Really Exist?

Yes, it does! But it’s not what you may think of. Many would likely conjure images of political rivals who are asked pointed questions that they must slyly resolve to appease their constituents. Or, one might consider a debate club meeting where teams argue current events and the moral quandaries they present. So, sure, these are considered “debates.” But are these examples the True form of debates? Or, are they something else?

I believe that these typical models are not true debates at all! Instead, I suggest, that they are metaphorical skirmishes between opposing factions who are simply vying for power, superiority and for the rewards of being declared “right” or the “winner” by unsuspecting, yet receptive audiences. Do you notice though that neither side concedes or even gives up any ground? Did you pick up on their oftentimes manipulative misrepresentation of statistics? Did you catch how they spout nonsensical rhetoric to dodge uncomfortable questions or retorts? And do you see that, by the end, nothing is ever resolved? Yup, that’s the typical “debate.” And, aside from stumbling onto some facts among the tales and hearing dramatic emotional testimony, we don’t gain much to move forward with a better sense of the truth.

Not to worry, true debate really does exist! These true debates take place in academic peer-reviewed literature that people from all over the world can read and contribute to. This is where groups can spend years investigating a question or topic, collect and process data, and then present it honestly for scrutiny by panels of experts. And if their work passes review, it can join the everlasting global debate on the selected topic. Then, other groups can continue this process by either offering support for the vitality of the status quo or they may present disruptive insights to entice paradigm shifts. That, my friends, is true debate as I see it. Now, how do we get free access for everyone … ?

“… I question myself and the world around me.”

https://things-to-be-chipper.tumblr.com/post/656831443577749504/an-ode-to-anxiety-perhaps-anxiety-is-the-ruthless https://www.instagram.com/p/CRXzBU2MSRP/?utm_medium=tumblr

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Things to be chipper - from a writer & his kitties