breadrolling in gravy

felix - he/him

[thatsbelievable]

[kitsnicket]

[ahundredhundredheartbeats]

this was stolen from a tumblr post

[aviculor]

that’s her therapist

[jokesontoast]

There are only 2 genders

Please people thee are only two genders…. I can’t believe that Tumblr is allowed to exist and make up all these ridiculous identities and not have all its users in mental health facilities. 

[magnumbot-deactivated20240227]

someone reblog this with the two real genders because this guy sure as heck didnt specify

[09nerorelatable]

Pokemon and Digimon

[horuss-moved234567865-deactivat]

sun and moon

[miyushinoharaofficial]

super trans and mega trans

[mcfucko-deactivated20180520]

chungo and scrungus

[dfbdbdghngfnfgngfnghfghghfh-dea]

salt and pepper

[inter5tellas]

Neither and both

[followpearlpinesnotthisblog]

Nintendogs 1 & 2

[goth-gay]

handmaiden and fuedal lord

[filthyheretic-deactivated201901]

Birdemic: Shock and Terror and Birdemic 2: The Resurrection

[thatstoomanypilots]

Team lads and team gents

[fuckyouroosterteethproductions]

Achievement Hunter and Funhaus

[thresholdofzero-deactivated2018]

Khal Drogo and Not Khal Drogo

[jupitersaurus-deactivated201807]

Mario and Luigi

[funkpunkandrollmuhfucka2]

Tom and Jerry

[boy-and-girl-crazy123456]

Ass and tiddies

[cultural-goldmanism]

Star Trek and Star Wars

[yteicosanievilew]

Simon and garfunkel

[realvladimirlenin-deactivated20]

Primmie and techie

[bintilleil-deactivated20200510]

Marina and The Diamonds

[butchmachine]

Grump and Not So Grump

[twynkdeth]

Bread and butter

[fsthhdwefg-deactivated20180515]

Ramones and Clash

[mockiato-deactivated20200315]

Coke and Pepsi

[bcpk-deactivated20210131]

Skype and Oovoo.

[psychophancy-deactivated2021072]

Derek and The Dominos

[irltrash]

the proletariat and the bourgeois

[iamfuckingtrash]

feudal lords and handmaidens

[soulsingerinasessionband]

Dungeons and dragons

[gaylawyersmoved-deactivated2020]

narumitsu and narumayo

[acecourses-blog]

kinder and milka

[don8boost]

benny and the jets

[discourseofficial]

florence and the machine

[you-arent-queer]

shrek & the bee movie

[movedto-sceneboyfriend]

Xbox and pc

[melskunk]

Crystal Gems and Homeworld

[bakabun-deactivated20230829]

Naruto & Sasuke

[soft-pink-wilfy]

Ben & Jerry’s

[kotilae]

Offense and Defense

[panic-at-the-badger-burrow]

Peanut butter and jelly

[booksarebetterthanpeople]

Coffee and tea

[catgirlwerewolf]

Owl and city

[drafted-to-the-skeleton-war]

Lamb and beef

[gonda-deactivated20210511]

My type and not my type

[lahnce-moved]

Ihop and Denny’s

[thespace-dragon]

Mcdonalds and burger king

[tryforce-deactivated20211211]

Coke and Pepsi

[clownfactories]

Jedi & Sith

[blaxkula]

Sharks and Jets

[transicon]

sans and komaeda

[g-mecube]

Joestars and Brandos

[wulfric-schwarzfell-deactivated]

Alliance and Horde

[lamafeeling]

Valor and Mystic

[irvine--kinneas]

Dipper & Mabel 

[somebody-anxious-deactivated202]

Ruby & Sapphire

[sludgebat]

nutritious & delicious

[anti-transphobia]

furries & scalies

[morag-thong-deactivated20180914]

Overwatch and tf2

[the-wicked-rad-and-hella-deacti]

ocean and sky

[official-contrabassoon]

Paydays and Whatchamacallits

[howdramaful]

Fred and George

[incorrect-ii-quotes]

team epic and team chicken leg

[icemintfreeze]

Inanimate Insanity and Battle For Dream Island

[ask-joey-drew-deactivated201705]

ruby and sapphire

[stf-archived-deactivated2020100]

*.Flowey and Asriel.

[lunaria-tsukano97-deactivated20]

Undertale and FNAF

[donna-dot-paella]

Gryffindor and Slytherin

[trollyxzx]

Salt and Sugar

[kiseki-kisetsu-deactivated20180]

μ’s and Aqours

[pointlessfoxglove]

Black and white

[lukalino]

Apple and android

[join-the-doge-side-luke]

Mini and Wumbo

[sorta-phantastic-deactivated202]

Dan and Phil

[amazingaveru-deactivated2018121]

DARN IT I WAS GONNA DO DAN AND PHIL @sorta-phantastic

[scumbagsblog]

Hobo and Glunkus

[lostqueenambrose]

Ketchup & Mayo

[impossiblerebelblaze]

chocolate and vanilla

[gothicway]

ketchup and mustard

[nucl34rb0y]

Grandes bites à viande

[tinycinnamonbun]

Batman and robin

[thezachsterisawesome]

Marvel and DC

[scp-1337-deactivated20181215]

Markiplier and Darkiplier

[cnjandhdonejxksndh-deactivated2]

humans + dancers

[jevilcore]

Trans and Turbo Trans

[goopy-amethyst-deactivated20250]

gamers and goths

[cranberrybogmummy]

Crowley and Aziraphale

[theladyofingenuitea]

Velvet and Lace 

[cluescorner]

Tits and ass

[cannibalcaprine2]

plants and zombies

[shower-raccoon]

Zangoose and Squirtle

[spoonforsoupp]

Bill and Ted

[saveyourhelplessspite]

hope and desperation

[jesstheespeon]

Corporate and casual

[vigilantsycamore]

fermions and bosons

[citypop-sibling-deactivated2022]

Weeb and Goth

[insertchaoticenbyname]

eeby and deeby

[victor-the-gay-bitch]

Emma and Paul

[dippydots]

Jekyll and Hyde

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

Czechia and Slovakia

[hypo-critic-al]

Franken and Stein

[strangestcase]

The girl and the PS5

[habitrabbits]

eeby and deeby

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

mac and cheese

[dementedgnomicwizard]

im really incapable of reacting w the appropriate level of seriousness&discipline when kids swear on my watch its too funny. this 4yo was on time out today so i was sitting w him and he goes

4yo: this is stupid

me: please dont say that here thats not a nice word

4yo: Fucking

me: (genuinely not sure i heard correctly) what??

4yo: Fucking

me: WHAT??????

4yo: Fucking!!!

me: (definitely heard correctly) One more time ?

[queerism1969]

[dementedgnomicwizard]

today at work this kid (ill call him Kid 1) was having snack w his friend (Kid 2) and kid2 had a kitkat bar. kid1 asked if he could have half and kid2 said no to which kid1 responded verbatim “Kid1 Has Banned Kid2 From Entering Heaven” and it startled me so badly i nearly started crying laughing

[dementedgnomicwizard]

kids are the funniest people in the world when i worked at an elementary school during lunch one day the class unprompted started talking abt what they wanted to be when they grew up and this kid beckoned me over and was like

kid: when i grow up i want to be a cristopoper

me: a what?

kid: a cristopoper

me: i don’t think i know what that is!

kid: it’s a person who comes up with the names for different careers

me: oh, that—

kid: yeah, i just started my career. just now

me: oh my god

like he fucking got me. thats genius. thats a well constructed bit. he was 8

[dementedgnomicwizard]

a few weeks ago a little girl told me she was going to her friend’s house and i asked what they were going to do and she said she didn’t know yet and i said they’d probably figure it out and have fun no matter what and she said “yeah. (pause) life is really a big mystery.” and i was like that is so true

[conk-creet]

i was helping out in the kindergarten class at work and this one kid flipped over his worksheet and upon seeing that there was more work, he said so softly “what the fuck”

[lottereinigerforever]

Jack Black photographed by Martin Schoeller 

[chillgamesh-the-swing]

[chismosavirus]

the bunnies did the lady and the tramp kiss. help i’m crying

[chismosavirus]

enemies to lovers

[cantabilechaos]

High schoolers: ugh that person is weird because they have some minor superficial differences from the rest of us what a freak

College students: I saw a dude with green hair riding a unicycle around campus I would literally kill to be that cool

[lycandrophile]

i made a joke on tiktok that simply suggested some people who don't currently identify as trans men might identify as trans men in the future and WOW the comments have been telling

"but being a man is kinda bad :/" "i'd rather stay in denial than ever be called a man" "don't manifest this for me i don't want to be a man" shut up shut up shut up

like what possesses some people to say that kind of stuff *to a literal trans man*? is it not just...basic common sense that telling a trans person you would hate being like them is A Bad Thing To Do? do people just...hate trans men so much that they don't see how rude it is to comment stuff like that?

the whole joke was literally based on something i did when i was in denial about being a trans man, and nearly every comment i've gotten on it has just reminded me exactly what mindset stopped me from getting out of that denial for so long

the idea that someone could be a trans man isn't some sort of evil accusation, and you would only see it as one if you think being a trans man is bad. the idea that you can share experiences with trans men despite not identifying as one also isn't some sort of evil accusation, and you would only see it as one if you think being a trans man is bad

the way people feel the need to defend themselves as if it's some impending threat they have to fend off is WILD and like..scarily reminiscent of the exact rhetoric cis transphobes use against us

if you're not a trans man, take a moment to ask yourself why being faced with trans manhood makes you so anxious and defensive, because i can pretty much guarantee it does, even if you're not aware of it, and y'all really need to unpack that

edit: if you think you’ve seen the tiktok and know what my account is, please don’t share, i want to remain anonymous here but i’m not on my tiktok so just...don’t do it please

[charlesoberonn]

Venn diagrams don’t really work past 3 circles.

[charlesoberonn]

4-circle Venn diagrams are problematic because they don’t include the intersections of opposite circles without also including one of the other two circles (in this example there’s no AC or BD)

The problem only gets worse with more circles.

[charlesoberonn]

You could solve this problem by using different shapes, like ovals

[blackcurrant-juice]

[up-north-values]

[catnippackets]

for real once you realize that you can actually wear whatever you want and call yourself whatever name and pronouns you want and have whatever interests you want and be whatever gender you want your life gets so much better and more fun

[yellowpie]

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

ted hughes really be out there making up the most elaborate and complicated stories and publishing fragments with zero context

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

i mean like his crow poems come from this whole backstory where god has created the world in six/seven days blah blah blah and wants to go to sleep except he keeps having this awful nightmare where he's being bullied by a Hand

and the Hand's like 'yo god ur human beans sUCK' man's hella offended like 'nah mate they're awesome cos i'm god and everything i do is amazing

then some human knocks on heaven's door and goes 'god u remember how u gave us life.. uh well we're bored now so can u take it back?'

*disappointed godly facepalm*

so what does god do? thaT's right he goes ' oKaY thEn HAND, let's see you do better'

so god's nightmare makes a thing

Our Hero, Beloved Protagonist

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

and the hero has to do a bunch of challenges before it's even allowed to get born and it's clear that this Human2.0 or whatever creature is emo as hell cos at the womb door the examiner asks a bunch of questions like 'whose foot is this?' and 'whois stronger than love?' and he just goes 'death DEATH death' to literallly every question

but anyway a bunch of strange ordeals later our Hero get's born and it's a CROW

god is curious to see what his tormentor, the Hand has created so swoops down to earth to check up on the fledgling Crow and honestly, it's kinda adorable

so he befriends it and mentors him, letting Crow see a bunch of cool stuff that happens throughout time

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

they travel around together and it's FREAKING adorable here's them in eden

since Crow is now God's apprentice God lets him try making stuff himself and teaching him how to talk and stuff and there's this whole scene where he tries to get Crow to say 'love' but crow keeps fucking it up cos he's a lil slow but dw he'll get there

during their epic adventures Crow starts to realise that God made the world pretty cool but ever so slightly wrong so he interferes at every point but ends up overcorrecting everything God got wrong and God notices and gets pissy and tries to discourage Crow from doing such things but Crow only gets tougher for his trials

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

Crow is learning a lot but then comes the Existential Crisis as he's all like 'who am i? WHAT am i? where do i come from' and in a journey of Frankenstein's creature-like angst he embarks on a quest to find his creator

and although he does come across the Creator several times in his travels the Creator appears in several forms and always female, which is significant for some reason because Crow always expects his Creator to be male

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

ted hughes really be out there making up the most elaborate and complicated stories and publishing fragments with zero context

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

i mean like his crow poems come from this whole backstory where god has created the world in six/seven days blah blah blah and wants to go to sleep except he keeps having this awful nightmare where he's being bullied by a Hand

and the Hand's like 'yo god ur human beans sUCK' man's hella offended like 'nah mate they're awesome cos i'm god and everything i do is amazing

then some human knocks on heaven's door and goes 'god u remember how u gave us life.. uh well we're bored now so can u take it back?'

*disappointed godly facepalm*

so what does god do? thaT's right he goes ' oKaY thEn HAND, let's see you do better'

so god's nightmare makes a thing

Our Hero, Beloved Protagonist

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

and the hero has to do a bunch of challenges before it's even allowed to get born and it's clear that this Human2.0 or whatever creature is emo as hell cos at the womb door the examiner asks a bunch of questions like 'whose foot is this?' and 'whois stronger than love?' and he just goes 'death DEATH death' to literallly every question

but anyway a bunch of strange ordeals later our Hero get's born and it's a CROW

god is curious to see what his tormentor, the Hand has created so swoops down to earth to check up on the fledgling Crow and honestly, it's kinda adorable

so he befriends it and mentors him, letting Crow see a bunch of cool stuff that happens throughout time

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

they travel around together and it's FREAKING adorable here's them in eden

since Crow is now God's apprentice God lets him try making stuff himself and teaching him how to talk and stuff and there's this whole scene where he tries to get Crow to say 'love' but crow keeps fucking it up cos he's a lil slow but dw he'll get there

during their epic adventures Crow starts to realise that God made the world pretty cool but ever so slightly wrong so he interferes at every point but ends up overcorrecting everything God got wrong and God notices and gets pissy and tries to discourage Crow from doing such things but Crow only gets tougher for his trials

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

ted hughes really be out there making up the most elaborate and complicated stories and publishing fragments with zero context

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

i mean like his crow poems come from this whole backstory where god has created the world in six/seven days blah blah blah and wants to go to sleep except he keeps having this awful nightmare where he's being bullied by a Hand

and the Hand's like 'yo god ur human beans sUCK' man's hella offended like 'nah mate they're awesome cos i'm god and everything i do is amazing

then some human knocks on heaven's door and goes 'god u remember how u gave us life.. uh well we're bored now so can u take it back?'

*disappointed godly facepalm*

so what does god do? thaT's right he goes ' oKaY thEn HAND, let's see you do better'

so god's nightmare makes a thing

Our Hero, Beloved Protagonist

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

and the hero has to do a bunch of challenges before it's even allowed to get born and it's clear that this Human2.0 or whatever creature is emo as hell cos at the womb door the examiner asks a bunch of questions like 'whose foot is this?' and 'whois stronger than love?' and he just goes 'death DEATH death' to literallly every question

but anyway a bunch of strange ordeals later our Hero get's born and it's a CROW

god is curious to see what his tormentor, the Hand has created so swoops down to earth to check up on the fledgling Crow and honestly, it's kinda adorable

so he befriends it and mentors him, letting Crow see a bunch of cool stuff that happens throughout time

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

ted hughes really be out there making up the most elaborate and complicated stories and publishing fragments with zero context

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

i mean like his crow poems come from this whole backstory where god has created the world in six/seven days blah blah blah and wants to go to sleep except he keeps having this awful nightmare where he's being bullied by a Hand

and the Hand's like 'yo god ur human beans sUCK' man's hella offended like 'nah mate they're awesome cos i'm god and everything i do is amazing

then some human knocks on heaven's door and goes 'god u remember how u gave us life.. uh well we're bored now so can u take it back?'

*disappointed godly facepalm*

so what does god do? thaT's right he goes ' oKaY thEn HAND, let's see you do better'

so god's nightmare makes a thing

Our Hero, Beloved Protagonist

[breadrolling-in-gravy]

ted hughes really be out there making up the most elaborate and complicated stories and publishing fragments with zero context