trying on a metaphor
AnasAbdin
hello vonnie

izzy's playlists!

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Show & Tell

@theartofmadeline

Janaina Medeiros
h
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Cosimo Galluzzi

shark vs the universe

Andulka
KIROKAZE
Peter Solarz
d e v o n

Product Placement
sheepfilms
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin

seen from Australia
seen from Bangladesh

seen from Japan

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Ukraine

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@superwbat
You’re the most recognised and internationally praised superhero, but you don’t fight any crime. Instead, you use your powers over stone and metal to repair the damage caused by the catastrophic fights other heroes get into.
They didn’t call you a superhero when you started. You didn’t claim to be one, either.
You didn’t have a costume or a sponsor or training or anything like that. You were just a kid who had just seen your entire world knocked down. So, in a moment of childish determination and belief, you thought you could fix it all.
The first emergence of your powers wasn’t a huge triumphal moment. Moving stone and earth and steel doesn’t matter if you don’t know anything about how to stack things up so they don’t fall back over again.
Your first attempts crashed right back down again. That was your first lesson.
—
Even when you got good at what you did, they didn’t call you a superhero.
You still didn’t have a costume, but you’d gotten your hands on every architectural diagram you could and done plenty of practice. Then you started to show up to the aftermath of battles and put them quietly together again.
But it still wasn’t right. You couldn’t do much if you didn’t have the diagrams for the buildings demolished–if the city planners didn’t let you have them.
So you stitched together a costume, something bright and colorful that would grab the attention of the cameras on the scene afterward as you tried to work.
“Look! Someone’s putting those houses back together!”
The effect was instantaneous. The moment you’d grabbed public attention, there were requests for interviews, think pieces–each giving you a platform to ask for the help you needed.
This was your second lesson.
–
You didn’t call yourself a superhero, or come up with the name yourself. You were never really good about all of those things. But once the attention was on you, you got offers from managers and sponsors. One, a blonde with perfect hair who introduced herself as “just Sandy”
“I don’t have any money.”
“That’s alright,” she said, her grin showing spectacularly white teeth. “All I need is for you to take on some gigs and give me a cut.”
Sandy set you up. She got you the costume people would know you for, gave you the name, managed all of the PR and set up interviews. Your fame skyrocketed, and soon you were seeing yourself on billboards.
Soon you had access to hundreds of city plans and blueprints. After enough attacks happened, you learned them well enough to hardly need to reference them. After a few years, you could rebuild a tower in a matter of minutes, and cities in a matter of days.
Your powers evolved as your understanding did. Soon, you could read the entire layout of a building just from touching. Then, just from touching the ruins. You no longer need blueprints, then–just your own hands on the metal.
The gigs were simple, too–just fixing up hero bases after they’d gotten wrecked in attacks. Feel good work that paid well.
With the help of many people, you do more. That’s the third lesson.
—
The problems started with the homeless thing.
You were in between projects and itching to use your skills more. Creating homes for the homeless seemed like the perfect, feel good project to flex on.
It was, for the first few weeks. Then came the backlash. City dwellers crying foul, saying they hadn’t agreed to an enormous den of undesirables in their backyards. There were protests, white suburban moms holding up signs about drug dealers and rapists and criminals.
It wasn’t your choice in the end. Eventually the city mandated that you deconstruct your shelter, or they would do it the hard way.
Regretfully, you took it down. You did not look in the eyes of the people that had sheltered there as they had to go on their way.
It was the same story in every area you tried to build shelters in afterwards.
—
“Can we just buy the land to build them houses?” you asked Sandy.
She clicked her perfect teeth. “Sorry, there are laws against building new things in the city. You need mayoral approval to start a new construction project.”
“Why?”
“Well, there are already too many empty houses,” she said matter of factly.
You stared. “What? Then let’s just buy those and put people in them!”
“You don’t have that much money,” she pointed out. “Not when you’ve been giving it away every year. Also, it wouldn’t do as much good as you think. Just think of the effect on the market–”
This is not why you fired Sandy. But it was the first time you thought of it.
—
Opinion started to turn against you when you began using your interviews and platform to talk about this problem, to demand permission to build or otherwise help. Exasperation turned to hostility when you started to reshape the landscape to be softer to the unhoused, anyway–when you created caves in parks where people could easily shelter, or made every bench large and soft so that anyone could have a place to sleep.
Laws and ordinances passed, all regulating the amount of alterations one was allowed to make to public property. About how many changes you were allowed to make as you were reconstructing a city. The fines for altering things started to heap up.
Firing Sandy didn’t help. Your good reputation was always as much her work as yours, but after what she said about—you couldn’t.
You couldn’t.
You learned not to read the scathing opinion pieces on you. That was the hardest lesson yet.
—
Of course, shit really hit the fan when you were contracted to rebuild another base.
It was a simple enough decision for you. You found out they had been building drones and firing them on civilians. That at this base Techno has been building surveillance technology that would be able to monitor every single person in the country at every moment, and be able to fire upon them with impunity the moment suspicious activity was detected.
It made you rethink every base you had built in the past.
“No,” you told them.
“You already signed your contract–”
Instead of dignifying that with an answer, you transmuted the entire area into the rockiest, most impossible terrain you could. Every trick you had learned to make land easier to build on–you reversed it, turning what had once been the base into a precarious canyon of jagged, diamond-hard steel, nearly impossible to remove or build on.
“I said no.”
—
Stopping the construction of the stadium was the next kicker.
“You’re insane!” said the heroes who came to remove you.
“They evicted a hundred families for this!” you spat. “Those were people’s homes. It’s disgusting that it’s allowed for the government to do that–much less to do it for-for a stadium? For entertainment?”
And so you stood there for the next 48 hours, deconstructing every single thing they tried to put on their ill-gotten land.
Then, they sent the heroes to stop you. You were never the best at fighting, so they knocked you out quickly.
—
They don’t call you a superhero now. Behind bars, you glance over every thinkpiece and profile about the world’s most beloved hero fell. You read speculation about evil, greed, madness. All things you’ve heard about “villains” who came before you.
It makes you wonder about those people. If maybe you had misjudged them, too.
But that’s alright, you realize after the sting of it fades away. That was the second lesson, after all–more than anything, you need people to be talking. And for all the bitterness in these words, you realize grimly that people will never stop talking.
Once you’ve thought things through, you decide you’re ready. The steel of your cell melts away. After all, there is no prison that can contain you. No earth or stone or metal can withstand your will.
Your legacy as the world’s greatest supervillain begins with a left turn down the hallway, right to where the other villains are kept.
Brilliant. Positively Brilliant.
A controversial theory: Worm on a string are furby larvae
Source
Video of Tama
Follow Ultrafacts for more facts
The picture in the background of the second one
Tama is boss
THE TRAINS HAVE CARTOON TAMAS ON THEM
Sad update everyone, Tama recently passed away… An estimated 3,000 people, including railway officials, attended Tama the cat’s funeral on Sunday, days after she died of heart failure aged 16. [x]
For those who haven’t read articles about it, the local shrine elevated her to a god. She’s now the Eternal Stationmaster and patron god of the station.
Beautiful.
Now I’m crying thanks
and a new cat was hired right?
yep! her name is Nitama (essentially ”second tama” or “tama II”) and she served under Tama as an apprentice before being appointed her deputy
she works very hard
Everytime this crosses my dash, I reblog. It is the law.
I’m crying at 11pm over train cats
Nitama, already now a mature cat (born 2010), has a protege named Yontama (fourth Tama, b. 2016). There is no information available for either the physical befellment or tragic self-disgrace which has removed Santama from contention.
^Nitama majestic, and below with Yontama
Yontama.
a legacy
okay but actually what happened to santama (or sun-tama-tama, which is her name because it’s a pun on santama) was that she was basically sent to train for the position in okayama and they liked her so much they refused to send her back
“Sun-tama-tama” (a pun off of “Santama”, lit. “third Tama”) was a calico cat sent for training in Okayama. Sun-tama-tama was considered as a candidate for Tama’s successor, but the Okayama Public Relations representative who had been caring for Sun-tama-tama refused to give the cat up writing, “I will not let go of this child, she will stay in Okayama.” [25]
As of September 2018, Sun-tama-tama is working as the stationmaster in Naka-ku, Okayama and appears occasionally on Tama’s Twitter account.
Every time I see this post there’s new info and it gets better
You are only allowed to scroll pass this after you pay tribute to the great Tama Station masters.
The shrine of Tama Daimyōjin (Great gracious deity Tama), next to the Kishi station where she worked.
Nitama presenting her yearly offerings to Tama Daimyōjin on the anniversary of Tama’s Death, June 23 (The offerings are presented by the company president, as Nitama is a cat and thus can’t hold the offerings herself) (Not pictured, but also present, Yontama)
world heritage post
I’ve changee my Instagram username after like 9 years of having it, I feel weirdly emotional
I’m sorry but your profile picture looks like a female version of Boyinaband
I’ve been told that I look like him before
Well, I didn’t know him so I googled and-
I also kind of think he looks like @setheverman but with colorful hair
are you saying Dave is actually the fusion of you and Seth Everman
I’m saying Infinity War is not the most ambitious crossover anymore
Im gonna do something cursed
God forgive me for i have sinned
ERZHHGGGJJGRUKVFUBZKZXUVUVIFUFZFUCFZDTDZFUGIGIDUDUFUVKGKHIFUFUFUFIGUFZ
BILLIE EILISH????
Which one of us???
yes
this is like the end of a scooby doo episode
Wait. One-time-I-dreamt had a…face?
Hey, I still have it!
W-what
This is just the best interaction on the site
I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that
@tabbran please add lemon man story to this
PRESENTING LEMON MAN
That was a wild goddamn ride
god this was worth the read
Yes this is long but I promise you the story of lemon man is worth knowing. And reblogging.
What a ride
I summoned a shitload of willpower to continue this despite my ADD. WORTH IT
l e m o n m a n
Lemon man: ALL women and GAY MEN cannot do SHIT they are all USSELESS and yalls business will FAIL unless you have a MAN in CHARGE
jj: lmao what
Lemon man: what???? huh?????? u triggered?????????
jj: whatever you say lemon man
lemon man:
GOD TIER POST RIGHT HERE
Nice ending for this…
Wow that was a ride
fantastic
holy shit they juiced him
What a perfect example of why I’m sad/glad that I don’t have a twitter
Ok but also Lemon Man was the one that had no other name thing that identified him. Just two emojis, one of which was a lemon. That’d be like if someone here didn’t stick their name in their bio and got butthurt that they were called some form of their url smh
“THEY JUICED HIM”
An epic saga worthy of following to the end; 10/10, IGN
men will be like “women are way to emotional to be in power” and then try to sue you because you say something they don’t like
I was wayyyyy too entertained by this 😂😂 totally worth the read
Lemon Man: Hur dur, women can’t be CEOs
jj: ok, whatever “Lemon Man”
Lemon Man:
lmaoo i can’t
oh god now i gotta listen to lemon boy by cavetown
Best thing I read today and it was worth it.
On that note….
I would totally go to a gym that is strictly : women, lesbian, gay, trans. Perfect gym.
This was totally worth the time it took to read. #noregrets
Markiplier Twitter stans with Amy profile pictures have NO chill and are to be feared
I was here for this when it happened lol what a wild ride
@sir-madame-mothe
IM CRYINGGG THIS WAS LIKE FOURTEEN CONSECUTIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE BUT I WAS GIVEN A LEMON LOLLIPOP AFTER EVERY SINGLE ONE
JSFWHEFHESJD
Reblog for lemon man’s balls.
*bernie sanders meme*
“I am once again reblogging the lemon boy man post”
Polished Malachite Stalactite - Copper Crescent, Congo
*looks around*
Is
Is anyone gonna say it
malachite is a poisonous mineral. please do not fuck the malachite stalactite
@lizaleigh do you know any rock people that can confirm/deny because I am very curious and really don’t feel like getting into a conversation with my geophysicist brother that MAY somehow get back to the fact I saw a malachite that looked like a weird dildo.
…sadly, I am not on good enough terms with any of our partner geologists to just attach this to an email with the subject line: “EXPLAIN.” Although I think @mollisaurus is a mineral person. Thoughts?
oh geeze, i’m kinda rusty on minerals but malachite is just copper carbonate and is really common in both antique and modern jewelry so i think like if you were really gun-ho about it you could go ahead and put it wherever you want?
It’s really only a problem if you’re polishing or cutting it. The particles would be bad to breathe. It’s rather porous too, so I would worry about bacteria growing. Well, being literal anyway… Better to leave the poor thing alone. ._.
I mean it kinda depends on where you stick it because malachite does not like acidic environments very much and the malachite will degrade and also might dye your bits blue-green as the copper dissolves out.
So use a condom when fucking rocks is the takeaway here.
Oh my god guys it’s poisonous
It is super poisonous
There is a reason we do not use it in make up any more
Not even with a condom, do not fuck the rock
Try this one instead.
malachite literally explodes in water does it not?
I… no… I think you’re thinking of pure sodium?
Malachite is however water soluble, which really just means it will poison you quicker
This is both hilarious and cool as fuck because you’re getting all this information on minerals and rocks. You’re also watching people argue over wether or not you can fuck this rock
I go on hiatus for a week and come back to find tumblr molesting my post, but hey, at least we all learned something so yay tumblr, you just keep on being you.
I’m still not sure if I can fuck this rock.
I’m looking into it.
UPDATE:
Today in “I’m so sorry, coworkers, it’s for Tumblr,” I brought this post to the attention the science reporters at BuzzFeed. Dan Vergano did a some research and weighed in on the question “Can you use malachite as a dildo or is it toxic?”
The answer is “It’s probably fine, just wash it first and maybe use a bunch of lube.”
Oh man this got so much better than the last time I saw this post
This is my favourite. Science side of tumblr: asking the REAL questions
*biologist crashes through the underbrush* Ok so here’s the thing though Malachite is not poisonous to YOU. BUT fucking this stalactite will probably wreck your vaginal flora and leave you with a gruesome infection within a couple days. Want details? SO GLAD YOU ASKED, ‘CAUSE HERE THEY ARE. • Malachite is not copper oxide. It’s Cu2CO3(OH)2. Like most carbonates it’s water soluble– that’s how it became a stalactite in the first place! And technically any given chunk of “malachite” isn’t just malachite– it’s a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. This will become important later. • When malachite dissolves it makes a bunch of copper (Cu++) ions. Cu++ is GREAT at killing bacteria and fungi– so good at it that sprays with Cu++ get used a lot as a spray in agriculture to stop plant disease. It takes such a large dose to harm larger organisms that copper sprays are used a lot in organic agriculture (like Bordeaux mixture). So bottom line, yes malachite is technically nontoxic to humans. But it kills bacteria when it dissolves and releases Cu++. • Malachite dissolves somewhat slowly in water– but vaginal secretions aren’t just any water. A healthy human vagina has a pH of 3.8-4.5 and a salinity of about 0.9%. It’s also warmer than your average underground cave at 37°C (or 98.5°F in American meat units). As luck would have it, acidity, salinity, and warmth all make malachite dissolve faster. • In other words, the human vagina dissolves malachite. • I have no deeper explanation for why human females can dissolve rocks with our genitals. It simply is. • Gonna to take a quick moment to point out that sex toys that dissolve when you use them are maybe not the best investment. • Anyway the key question now is “how fast does the human vagina dissolve malachite?” Are we talking geological timescale, a Nazis-in-Indiana-Jones situation, or something in between? If the reaction kinetics of dissolution are very slow, then there’s nothing to worry about. An encounter with a stalactite would have to last years for enough Cu++ to leach out to cause problems. If it’s quick then we’re in trouble. • Unfortunately it looks like nobody really knows. One of the best sources on how malachite dissolves & precipitates in water– an EPA document on how to avoid too much Cu++ in municipal drinking water systems– helpfully says “The kinetic constraints on the formation of these solids in water systems are largely unexplored” (p. 42) because end equilibrium points is all you need to run a city water system safely. In other words, the experiments that would tell us how fast malachite dissolves in various types of water just don’t exist because nobody’s ever needed to know before. So we’d better assume it’s going to happen reasonably quickly, #for safety. • So in best scientific fashion, we’re just going to bullshit our way ahead using what facts we DO have on hand: endpoint equlibria. • Is there any info out there telling us what equilibrium concentration of Cu++ we get in salty acidic water at body temperature? Almost! One J.F. Scaife published some great data on this back in 1957. TAKE IT AWAY, SCAIFE.
That orange box is how many moles of dissolved Cu++ Scaife got from sticking malachite in some water that had 0.171 moles NaCl/L (body salinity is about 0.154 moles NaCl/L so this is slightly less salty than people) at 30°C. He’s got no acidity in there, and again the salinity and temperature are slightly lower than people. But this is probably the closest we’re going to get to data on how malachite behaves in vaginas anytime soon, folks. From this we can take away that if you leave malachite alone in a vagina you’ll get AT LEAST 9.12 x 10^-4 moles/L, or 5.8 ppm, of Cu++ at equilibrium. • Recall from above that most “malachite” isn’t actually pure malachite, it’s a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. The EPA document elaborates: “[T]raditional ‘eyeball’ identification of malachite by its blue-green color is extremely unreliable, because almost all cupric hydroxysulfates, hydroxycarbonates, hydroxychlorides, and even fresh cupric hydroxide can be some shade of blue-green. … Thus, the uncertainty in the computed copper concentration in equilibrium with malachite is at least about a factor of 2 … until further experimental data focusing on this problem is generated.” In other words, “do your math and then double how much Cu++ you think is going to be in the water, just in case.” So that gives us 11.6ppm Cu++, at equilibrium, with malachite in a (til now!) healthy vagina. • Next step: do we have any idea what happens to bacteria in acid conditions with copper? OH MY GOD WE TOTALLY DO. Gyawali et al 2011 checked this out in the context of “so what if we rinsed tomatoes with a solution of lactic acid and copper, because that would be a safe & organic way to get rid of E. coli?” So now this post has officially ruined stalactites, vaginas, and tomatoes.
^This would happen. These are the counts of 4 E. coli strains exposed to various levels of lactic acid & Cu++ for 8 hours. This table only shows the end counts but it represents the death of 99.7% of bacteria*. • Losing 99.7% of your vaginal flora is seriously bad news. You’re looking at really good odds of a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, and/or other infection issues. And that’s if you’re lucky enough to not be in the 4% of the population or so that’s sensitive to skin contact with copper. • The good news? Biochemically speaking, you’re probably ok to put it in your butt. It’s not as acidic or salty in there, plus there’s a huuuuuge stockpile of gut microbes right upstream that can quickly repopulate the colon after spelunking is complete. However this stalactite is not flared at the base so it is the wrong shape for putting in your butt. Do not put this stalactite in your butt. • This all looks like fun and games, but I think it’s really interesting that the internet’s mistake in concluding that this stalactite is fuckable is very similar to the mistake made by the Flint water management system. Hear me out. • Central to the Flint lead poisoning crisis is that authorities only looked at & tested Flint’s water in its central treatment plant before it went out through the pipes. Not after it went through the pipes. They did not consider what would happen biochemically as it went through the pipes and metals started dissolving. • Similarly, in concluding that the stalactite is fuckable, the internet only considered the stalactite itself. Not the biochemical processes that would happen to it as it, welp, went through the pipes. • Media frequently reports that the Flint River’s water is “corrosive,” leading many to believe the river is full of industrial waste. This ain’t the case. You’d need industry to fill a river with industrial waste, and industry left decades ago. That’s why Flint’s so poor. So what IS in the water? Road salt. Plain old stupid road salt. The old Detroit-based source didn’t have salt because it came from Lake Huron which has a large, mostly rural watershed. Meanwhile the Flint River runs through a lot of towns, making it slightly salty as everything melts down in spring. And as we recall from the stalactite experience, a little salt is all it takes to get metals to dissolve. • Information on this engineering problem was not coming through clearly from the engineering or chemistry sides. It took a biologist, pediatrician Mona Hanna-Attisha, to document the real-time results and provide the data to kick-start a high-level investigation. • Morals of the story: when dealing with a biological system pls consider asking a biologist, your vagina and/or city could depend on this • Pls use a condom when fucking any water-soluble material • Still don’t put the stalactite in your butt -3/10 do not recommend
OK, I haven’t reblogged this before now but the final post takes it to a whole new level and I can no longer resist.
My contribution to this meme
Because I’m standing firm with this I decided to update it to be a little more specific since some people aren’t getting the hint.
Y E S
I totally agree with that
My mom sent this to me and i’m howling
Mood man. Peace out I’m going back home
drawing is fun until you realize how much better other people are at it than u
most things are fun until you realize how much better other people are at it than u
Also: don’t stigmatize HIV+ individuals because they all have different circumstances and might’ve gotten the virus from a variety of sources (sex, occupational, birth, blood transfusions in other countries).
HIV-related stigma remains a huge barrier to preventing HIV, and is linked to a low level of people testing for HIV.
The bad news is that Trump is cutting America’s spending on HIV year after year. He has taken steps to weaken the Affordable Care Act since coming to power.
prep is preventative, pep is what you take after initial exposure
In Capitalist America, sex education is on twitter and tumblr!
On PrEP for about three years now and my master’s degree focused on HIV, so if you have ANY questions about PrEP or HIV please DM me and I’ll be happy to chat. It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, let’s chat about sex and HIV.
Please, reblog! IIt’s called self defense. Apart from having here, in the US, one of the highest cases of homicide and rape in the world and high rate of GBV, think about how this could help your mother or sister
It’s a shame I have to reblog, but please do the same
The BAU High School Teacher AU
Let’s start with teaching positions:
“Mr. Hotch” - English, History
“Mr. Rossi” - Film, Psychology
“Emily” - French, Arabic, Gym coach
“Morgan” - Woodwork, Weight room & Gym Coach
“Dr. Reid” - Math, Science, Music theory
“JJ” - Spanish, Art
“Garcia” - Drama, Computer Science/Tech classes
“Principal Strauss” - no one likes her
“Gideon” - School counselor
“Officer Elle” - School security
Now about the staff:
Mr. Hotch is the strict teacher. No late work, he doesn’t curve grades, and can tell if you bullshit your tardy. But he’s still supportive towards the students that need it and helps any way he can. He barely smiles and is never absent from class. The only jokes he cracks are really cheesy dad jokes that make the class cringe and groan and snicker because he says them so seriously. If a student is having trouble in the class but it’s because of their parents, Hotch makes sure to meet with them and lecture the parents and defend his student as much as he can. But all his students know, one day each year, he plans a prank on Mr. Rossi, his rival. This is what the class looks forward to every year. A couple times he brings his son Jack to class and the class loves him. They’re also surprised to see Hotch smiling all day and going soft when he talks to Jack. When he has something important to teach he lets Jack hang out with Garcia.
Mr. Rossi is the strict, yet chill teacher. He disciplines his kids and gives them extra credit when they deserve it. He likes to joke with the class and brag about him being a best selling author, the class roll their eyes but enjoy it. He’s also extremely sarcastic and has dry and slightly dark humor. He throws a pizza party at the end of each quarter/term and every time he goes over to Hotch’s class to offer some. Hotch always declines but Rossi leaves it on the desk anyway. The only time Hotch breaks his no emotion streak is when Rossi visits and teases him. The class is told at the beginning of the year that it’s a feud but they all know they secretly have a thing for each other and are too stubborn to admit it.
Emily is the laid back Gym teacher. She and Morgan are constantly one-upping each other and they brag to each other who’s picked up the most girls at bars to entertain the class. She’s the only teacher that know’s how to piss off Morgan and her class loves that. She also teaches French and Arabic. JJ, the Spanish teacher, visits her class and her students notice every time that JJ is the only teacher Emily is sweet with, but JJ doesn’t seem to notice.
Morgan is the cocky gym teacher and weight-room coach, and also teaches woodwork. He’s super chill but strict when he needs to be, and is constantly motivating kids. If a kid is in trouble or scared, Morgan makes sure to resolve the problem or defend the kid with his whole chest. He likes to compete against Emily’s class in sport games during class. But most of his free time he visits Dr. Reid. His main purpose is to embarrass Reid with innuendoes and flirting, which he’s always successful at. Reid’s class enjoys the shit out of it. Emily is annoyed at both of them and is the only teacher that calls Morgan Reid’s “boyfriend” just to mess with both of them. When Morgan can’t visit Reid’s class he sends Emily as a messenger who rolls her eyes every time.
Dr. Reid is that really smart teacher. He teaches up to the advanced math and science classes and also music theory. Reid tells the class to let him know if he’s talking too fast or rambling so he can slow down. He cares about all his students and although the students are annoyed with all the work they get, they enjoy having Reid as their teacher. They love the fact that he loves Dr. Who and give him Dr. Who and nerd themed gifts on his birthday. When the class is doing individual work Reid puts on classical music. The students also teach him about pop culture things like Tik Tok dances and iconic vines. Reid isn’t very social but they see his personality come out when Morgan visits. His face goes red every time Morgan drops an innuendo and threatens Morgan to leave the class. Some ways he’s done that is by throwing a white board eraser at him, threatening to splash a beaker of acid on him, and holding his guitar as a weapon. They know he’s not serious though because Reid fails to hide his smile. Garcia visits the class a lot and she’s like the mom of the class, she sometimes brings treats and likes to chat with the students. Every time she visits, she ad Reid are quietly gossiping in the corner, and although the class can’t hear them, they can tell it’s about Morgan (especially the one time they caught Reid blush during a conversation).
JJ is the Spanish and Art teacher. She is extremely sweet and checks in with her class constantly if they’re doing ok or if they need help. No one is scared to ask questions because she always answers them without making the student feel bad. Her students notice Emily visits a lot, and they can tell they have a thing for each other. Whenever they ask JJ about it, she neither confirms nor denies it so a huge conspiracy starts. She also teaches art and Garcia likes to visit a lot. The two gossip about all the other teachers, JJ fills Garcia in about Emily and Garcia fills JJ about Reid and Morgan. Sometimes, when Reid is out, JJ substitutes his music class. She likes to fool with Morgan when that happens.
Garcia is the mom of the school. Everyone loves her. She teaches drama and comp sci so she is loved by the gays and the nerds. She’s always enthusiastic and supportive and treats her kids. She’s very colorful and gives her kids candy or stickers if they get a question right or do something really cool in their assignment. When she visits Reid, if Morgan shows up she guards the door and keeps him out of the class. Morgan tries to charm her but she charms him back and doesn’t break. Once in a while she fails to keep him out and the class goes nuts watching the show. She’s also called a lot by Hotch because he needs help with technology constantly. Rossi needs help too once in a while but he just relies on his students or eventually figures it out.
Principal Strauss is only seen in the halls once in a while. She monitors classes twice a year and all the students AND the teachers behave their best that day. Even Hotch seems relieved when she leaves the class. She makes announcements at the most inconvenient times. She is also the only one who enforces the dress code on students. Once in a while she asks what Morgan’s doing in Reid’s class and Morgan tries to cover it up and the class backs him up. Rossi’s class finds it hilarious when she’s talking to the class and he’s mocking her from behind, rolling his eyes and making faces. The students clearly know the teachers don’t like Strauss as they constantly complain about her. She calls Garcia’s games and prizes “distractions” and thinks JJ gets off track too much because she checks in with her class to much. The students that hate her the most though are Reid’s students, because she’s the hardest on him for no reason. They can tell by his behavior and can tell he’s drained every time she leaves the class. They tell Morgan and Morgan decides to start a yoga club for students and teachers to destress once a week. He personally invites Reid and that’s the only time the students see Morgan doesn’t mess with Reid. Garcia also offers free hugs to any student who needs one during the school day.
Gideon is everyones favorite staff member. Everyone loves him. His door to the counselor’s office is always open and he always knows what to say to students that have trouble. He’s just very relaxing to talk to. Everyone respects him and even all of the teachers get along with him. He checks in with classes once in a while just to see how everyone’s doing, and sometimes sits in lessons to learn with the students. Sometimes he participates in group assignments. He’s also the only one who stands up to Strauss. He never get’s mad, he’s always calm and manages to talk sense into her. Because of this, she’s never mad at him. When she is, he doesn’t take it personally. He doesn’t go to the yoga classes, but makes sure student’s know about them. He starts the chess club and during the whole year it’s a competition between Gideon’s team and Reid’s team. The students keep track of the bracket thats displayed in the cafeteria and take sides, creating a large yet fun divide in the school. The students ask all the teacher’s who’s side they’re on each year and create flyers to root for each team. It’s also partially a fund raiser for the school to have extracurricular activities. The teachers give extra credit to any of their students who’s rooting for the same team they are if that team wins. Gideon also attends all of the sports games and musical performances.
Officer Elle is school security and most of the students are nice to her. She makes sure to break shit up if a fight breaks out and firmly advises kids to not drink or do drugs. She has PSA assemblies twice a year about security and health. She’s chill and likes to chat with students. She’s basically a badass and makes sure to put kids in their place who deserve it. She also teases Morgan because they have a history in working in security together.
Assemblies:
There are four assemblies every semester. Three out the eight for the entire year, Strauss forces Reid to present. She’s totally unaware that he has the worst anxiety out of all of them (and if he told her she probably couldn’t have cared less and given bullshit excuses). The students eventually catch on that Reid din’t ask to present based off his shaking hands and wavering voice. They also see the looks the other teachers are giving Strauss, who is unaware. Reid bears through it though and Morgan comforts him afterwards as Strauss is giving the closing statement. The student’s support Reid as he’s talking and try to make him feel better. Morgan makes jokes at him to distract him and the class plays along with it. Two of the other assemblies are given by Elle, two others are given by Strauss, and one is given by Gideon. However there’s one unofficial assembly held every year by the students (teachers are invited except for Strauss). At the end of the year the students compile a video of pictures or videos of funny or iconic moments of things that happened to the students or teachers throughout the school year. This usually includes crackhead moments during free time in classes, a kid secretly recording Hotch as he’s trying to tell a dad joke, Morgan flirting with Reid in front of the whole class, Reid’s students dancing in a Tik Tok with Reid (followed by someone recording them creating the Tik Tok), the hype for the end of year chess tournament, the massive pranks pulled by the teachers and students on April Fools Day, everyone’s costumes during Halloween, and so much more. One student brings a popcorn machine. Garcia brings candy.
Specific events:
Morgan crashes Reid’s class multiple times a week. The students look forward to it, because all Morgan does is flirt. He’d spit out innuendos that are somehow related to what he’s teaching. It’s the worst in music class.
“You’re doing well with that fingering” “I’M PLAYING THE GUITAR”
“Hey Dr. Reid, how’s the blowing going?” Reid’s face burns red
“You really stroke the G well-” “GET OUT”
“For a drummer you don’t bang very well” *dodges drumstick*
One time Reid threw a white board eraser at him only to receive “damn you trying to rub me out?” which causes the class to roar.
The class goes crazy every time and someone is bound to be recording every time Morgan steps into the classroom. Morgan would also call Reid “pretty boy” on occasion and ruffle his hair, which Reid would fix right after. (Everyone knows he secretly loves it).
One day Reid gets his hair cut short with curls on top, but Morgan doesn’t find out till the next day. He also wore his glasses that day (which he does wear occasionally). The class started to silently freak as they filed in before the bell rang. When Morgan entered mid class his greeting of “Hey pretty boy” was cut short when he saw him. Morgan stood frozen for a good 30 seconds before Reid approached him (WAY too close) and says lowly “What we’re you saying?” Theres no response from Morgan, the class is trying to stay silent while going ape shit, everyones phones are out, it looks like their noses are about to touch when finally Reid steps away and asks the class “So, who can tell me the answer to number 6?” and just leaves Morgan there. The class tries to recover and when five minutes pass Reid looks back at Morgan (who hasn’t moved) and asks, “Hey Morgan, don’t you have a class to teach?” Finally Morgan snaps out of it and stutters “Uh.. yeah- I gotta… go,,” and leaves the classroom.
~
Spirit week is a riot.
It starts with Tropical day. Everyone dressed in a hawaiian shirt and wore a fake lei, even Hotch. Garcia gives out lei’s to everyone that doesn’t have one and Rossi gives extra credit to whoever dresses up that week.
Next is 50′s/Grease themed. Morgan went all out with his outfit, leather jacket and sunglasses included. Reid did not own a leather jacket, but he did grease his hair back and wore a white t-shirt which entertained his students. Hotch, along with his outfit, brought a comb and constantly combed through his hair throughout class. Garcia and JJ wore poodle skirts and JJ wore her hair in a high ponytail. Emily wore black leather pants, a polkadot shirt, and a red bandana in her hair with bright red lipstick. Rossi just wore his helmet from the Vietnam war, and when someone called him out, his excuse was the war started in the 50′s so it counts.
Next was Lazy Wednesday, and the students (and Morgan) didn’t know how much Reid in a hoodie could affect them. It got to the point where one of the students had to call out to Morgan “You’re drooling” which followed by laughter from the class. Emily wore her snuggie and JJ and Garcia wore matching Pokemon onesies. Half of the students were distracted because Hotch was wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants.
Thursday was Disney themed. Morgan was, of course, Prince Charming. Every time he entered a classroom he overacted dramatically. Garcia decided to match by being his Cinderella and had her hand kissed by Morgan every time they passed each other. Rossi’s students had a field day with his costume. He dressed up as the toy seller from Toy Story 2. He got Woody and Jessie toys from Hotch’s son, Jack, and he was constantly eating cheese puffs. Hotch melted everyones hearts by dressing as Kristoff and bringing in Jack who was dressed as Sven. Every girl and gay almost had a heart attack from Reid, who was dressed as Milo from Atlantis. But the winners in the students book were Emily, who dressed up as Flynn Rider, and JJ, who dressed up as Rapunzel. They hung out in the halls in between classes, Emily winking at everyone who walked by.
~
With the good days come the bad. One year, Reid started getting these horrible migraines. He wouldn’t tell anyone, however, and kept teaching. Even Morgan asked a couple times if he was okay. This lasted almost two weeks, and then Reid had to lead an assembly that Friday. The migraines on top of his rising panic attack while he spoke to the students made him feel worse. He started to stutter and feel lightheaded, but Strauss said nothing. Morgan managed to hold on to him and finally told Garcia to take him into the hall. Thankfully Hotch stepped in and continued the assembly like he was presenting the whole time. After it was over, Morgan chewed out Strauss to the point where Emily had to hold him back. The students were confused as to what happened and theories started to spread as school let out. Morgan went straight to Reid who was sitting in a dark empty classroom with Garcia. Reid finally told him about his migraines and Morgan insisted taking him to the ER. The speculations grew when students saw Morgan leading Reid to his car with their arms around each other for support as they walked, Morgan comforting him on the way to the car.
~
One day, Reid had a doctors appointment for the latter half of the day, so he asked JJ to sub his music theory class. Only, Morgan didn’t know. There was a small hall that led into the big music room, so when Morgan entered, he couldn’t see JJ from where he was. He thought he was sneaking up on Reid, putting his finger to his mouth at the students who saw him sneaking. Finally he walked out to greet who he thought was Reid with “Is that something in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” He froze when he saw JJ staring back with her arms crossed and one eyebrow raised. He saw the class was recording him and shook his head while saying “I will get you back for this.” As he walked out defeated, JJ called after him, “I’m guessing he didn’t tell you about his doctor’s appointment.” which earned a middle finger from Morgan which JJ couldn’t see from where she was standing. This definitely ended up in the end of year slideshow and it was the first time Reid saw the video. He counted that as a victory.
HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE
MAKE A WISH
the first post ever on tumblr
I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE A REMAKE OF SOME SORT HOLY FUCK
WHO THE FUCK KEEPS BRINGING THIS BACK
reblog this because it shows up every blue moon
Greetings from the Burgh, where we are in the midst of our end-of-the-month fundraising appeal. Only $1,125 Short of Hitting Our Monthly Goal As Payday expands and attempts to bring on a more regular editor, we are hoping to raise $6,000-a-month to cover costs. This month, we are only $1,125...
With protests erupting all over Minneapolis over the death of George Floyd, cops are attempting to arrest protesters in mass.
However, some bus drivers in Minneapolis are refusing to use their buses to transport protestors to jail.
“As a transit worker and union member, I refuse to transport my class and radical youth,” Minneapolis bus driver Adam Burch told Payday. “An injury to one is an injury to all. The police murdered George Floyd and the protest against is completely justified and should continue until their demands are met.”
While it would be illegal for Burch’s union to call for a wildcat strike, his local union ATU Local 1005 did issue a statement of solidarity with the protestors.
“In ATU, we have a saying “NOT ONE MORE” when it comes to driver assaults, which in some cases have led to members being murdered while doing their job,” said the union in a statement. “We say “NOT ONE MORE” execution of a black life by the hands of police. NOT ONE MORE. JUSTICE FOR GEORGE FLOYD!”
Minneapolis Transit Service Cancels Bus Service
Today, the Minneapolis’s Metro Transit canceled service out of concerns for their bus drivers and vehicles.
“I was able to have good convos with the drivers at my garage before they sent us home. Many [are] unwilling to do anything for the police and put themselves in harm’s way for the police that created this mess to begin with,” said Buruch.
The workers have launched a group and a petition entitled “Union Members for #JusticeforGeorgeFloyd”.
The operations of the police state and capitalism depends on the complicity and labor of everyone. We can put an end to it, just by refusing to assist with our own oppression. We all have so much more power than we realize
this movie is so fucking creepy jesus fuck
It’s by Tim Burton, what did you honestly expect?
Actually, it’s Henry Selick, who was the director of The Nightmare Before Christmas. The book was written by Neil Gaiman, though, and is far…far….worse.
Sorry, I’m about to geek the hell out.
The movie is captivating, but the book is twenty kinds of terrifying, even now, ten years after I first read it. As disturbing as the movie may have been to some, the things Selick added really serve to cushion just how horrific the story really is.
First of all, the character of Wybie does not exist in the book. Coraline is facing all of this nearly alone, with her only help coming from the sly comments of the cat, a warning from the circus mice, and the stone given to her by her neighbor, presented with no comment but that it “makes the unseen seen.”
Second, the Other Parents are never quite as warm (and, dare I say, normal) as they are in the gifs above. They’re described as having paper-white skin and the Other Mother’s hair is said to move on its own, and her long, red, claw-like nails don’t ease any uncertainty that she is absolutely, positively up to no good. The first time Coraline meets them, they (and the rest of the Others) seem to be playing roles (for whatever reason, Coraline does not seem to pick up on this), like they all know what to say and what to do and are simply waiting for Coraline to make her move in their terrifying play world. This is shown to be partly true when the Other Parents tell her they know she’ll be back soon after she refuses the buttons - this time, to stay.
Third, the Other Mother commits atrocities that really should not have been in a book for anyone not fully grown up. She physically deforms the world around Coraline to slow her progress in their game beyond any mild traps the movie portrays, and, instead of turning the Other Father into the wandering pumpkin-thing seen in the film, she simply ceases to use him and throws his body away in the cellar, leaving him to rot with whatever bit of sentience he has left. She begins to lose her touch, as Coraline gains the upper hand. Her world doesn’t just become a nightmare - it falls apart completely. No creepy but oddly cool bug furniture here, just the house that now appears to be a child’s drawing. Whatever the Other Mother is (a beldame, but something tells me she’s much more ancient and powerful than that), she does not give half a hump about what she has to do to ensnare Coraline. Destroy the supporting characters of her twisted creation? Done. Allow herself to be dismembered to ruin Coraline’s life in the normal world? Not even gonna bat an eyelash.
On a final, personal note, imagine eight year-old me, ignored by my parents, absorbed in the story and identifying with Coraline from the start. Imagine me finishing this bloodcurdling book and immediately thinking of my basement, where there is still a locked door that my grandmother swears up and down is nothing more than a storage room, but has not once in my (or my mother’s) lifetime unlocked.
Can you see why this book still scares me?
Fun fact I learned from seeing neil gaiman speak: when he first wanted the book published, his editor said it was too scary. He suggested she read it to her young daughter, and then decide. So she did, and her daughter wasn’t afraid, and it was published. Years later, Gaiman was sitting next to that daughter at an event and told her this story, and she said “oh I was terrified I just didn’t want to tell my mom”.
Coraline WAS too scary to be published, but exists anyway because a girl lied to her mother.
@neil-gaiman, is this true about the publisher’s daughter?
It was my literary agent, Merrilee Heifetz who read it and said “you can’t seriously expect this to be published as a children’s book.” So I suggested she read it to her daughters. And she called me back a week later and said “They love it and they weren’t scared at all. I’ll take it to Harper Children’s.”
A decade later, at the Opening Night of the Coraline musical, I was sitting next to Morgan, Merilee’s youngest daughter, and told her how her not being scared had made the book happen. And she said “I was terrified. But I needed to find out what happened next. So nobody knew.”
So, yes.
This website can be toxic at times, but the fact that people can just tag Neil Gaiman to get his input, like a sorcerer invoking a benevolent spirit, is definitely a bright spot.