MizLiz

I'm Elizabeth (also known as Lauren to a few). I'm 30, and I am currently living in Richmond, VA.

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[toast-potent]

i don’t need to say it

[bingomann]

don’t say anything. just reblog this if you’re thinking of exactly that thing when you see this picture

[party-gilmore]

(Commissioner Gordon, handing over a folder to Batman on various evenings at various times)

Gordon: The Falcone file you asked for.

Batman:

Batman: *squints*

.

Gordon: Damage report from the warehouse incident.

Batman:

Batman: *squints*

.

Gordon: The Batmobile’s citations for this month.

Batman:

Batman: *squints*

Gordon: D-… do you need prescription lenses in your m-

Batman: No, I don’t.

(Narrator, sounding suspiciously like Alfred: Yes, he does.

Look I love love love Telltale’s Batman it is my absolute favorite Batman but I can’t not make a little fun at the fact the only real way of animating their Batman emoting is basically [narrows eyes].

Anyways local thirty year old man refuses to admit his body's needs are changing, to the continued stress of the people in his life.

[mizlizherbologist]

crash

[party-gilmore]

I'm. I'm fucking. This was. About the "expensive cube gum" post. I... im...

@mizlizherbologist is... is this my brand?

Is this my fucking brand?

[mizlizherbologist]

You’re the loudly horny one, whereas I am the *quietly sneaks up from behind, shanks you in the side, and disappears laughing maniacally* kind of horny.

And I have actually seen cum lube before, so it was a legitimate reading

[notoriousdrsheep]

was it ours?

[mizlizherbologist]

Yes it was yours, y’all were so excited to show it off, but I wasn’t about to expose you XD

[party-gilmore]

I'm. I'm fucking. This was. About the "expensive cube gum" post. I... im...

@mizlizherbologist is... is this my brand?

Is this my fucking brand?

[mizlizherbologist]

You’re the loudly horny one, whereas I am the *quietly sneaks up from behind, shanks you in the side, and disappears laughing maniacally* kind of horny.

And I have actually seen cum lube before, so it was a legitimate reading

[party-gilmore]

Controversial opinion but if someone asks you or you bring up how many instruments you play, I don't give a fuck how many different woodwinds you've learned [Gimli voice]: that still only counts as one!

Learn one reed instrument and you've got the basic technique down for almost all of them the fingerings just change here and there that's like saying you know two languages when you really only know 1) English and 2) still English, but using Japanese katakana this time.

[mizlizherbologist]

I went trumpet then flute, but in 7th grade they put me on French horn because there were too many flautists and “trumpet and French horn are basically the same”. And they definitely are.

[party-gilmore]

I love a good actual historical shanty or sailing song as much as anyone but to be totally fucking honest with you guys NO actual shipsong will ever manage to invoke anywhere close to the obscene levels of intense emotion that I feel whenever I hear Shiver My Timbers - Muppets Treasure Island.

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

i think it's fucked up that there are plants that decided they wanted to eat meat

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

a plant's job is literally to just exist but the venus flytrap chose violence

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

what if i gently laid an uncooked steak on the soil for it to absorb

[iridescentjaq]

my tree biology teacher fed her calcium-deficient tree a whole-ass bbq rib bone - she stuck it in the ground near the base of the tree (after eating the meat off of it), and when she came back to collect it to show the tree biology class it was GONE

the tree had grown a root up through the center of it & out through the sides

also there’s an old story about a man who was buried beneath a tree, and when they went to exhume the body it had been completely absorbed by the tree’s roots- you could see the shape of the body in the way the roots grew, splitting up for clearly defined arms and legs. trees will absolutely eat a steak if you bury it & they need the nutrients.

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

that’s horrifying! thank you

[shrimpmilf]

hi my name is destiel nevada putin elec’tion covid way and i have long ebony black hair

[giddy-goblin]

this is it. this is peak meme. do you have any idea the specific culmination of absurd and unlikely events that needed to happen in order for this one single awful sentence to live comfortably, no, effortlessly within the general populace of human comprehension?

it’s beautiful. it’s hideous. it’s everything.

[sonofagif]

Last ever Tuesday before the Supernatural finale, guys!

[thedirtytrenchcoat]

So not ready

[shrimpmilf]

hi my name is destiel nevada putin elec’tion covid way and i have long ebony black hair

[iamnmbr3]

i hate that this makes perfect sense. imagine reading this last week. 

[tariqah]

Ma-ia hi

Ma-ia ho

Ma-ia ha

Ma-ia ha ha

[tariqah]

alo

Salut

[yuuri-akatsuki]

sunt eu

un… haiduc???

[wolfsteax]

dont you sick fucks make me relive this

[zanimez]

SI TE ROG…. IUBIREA MEA PRIMESTE  FERICIEEEEEAAAA  

[saipng]

ALO?

Alo?

sunt eu

PICASSO

[acidwaste]

ti-am dat beep

si sunt voinic

[iuuubire-deactivated20210607]

Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic😂😂😂

VREI SA PLECI DAR

[velvetrotangel]

Nu mă, nu mă ieei

[rrosetum]

NU MĂ, NU MĂ IEI

[contrainous]

nu mă, nu mă, nu mă iei

[acid-wash-and-lemonade]

I have no idea what happened here

[dangerbooze]

Lucky bastard. It’s stuck in my head now

[spelviin]

CHIPUL TAU SI DRAGOSTEA DIN TEI 

[fifty-shades-of-umbridge]

Mya mintesc day oki tay-yay

[apartment-witch]

am i having a stroke

[walks-the-ages]

What is this? What is this from? Why do thousands of people know what this is. Apparently it’s Romanian. What is it??

[accessibleposts]

They’re the lyrics to the song Dragostea Din Tei by Moldovan pop group O-zone. It was a very popular song in the early 2000s

[cannabisexual]

We’ve finally reached the point where the old memes are too old for today’s generation… Fs in the chat.

[rescue-ram]

For any wretched zoomers…one of the original viral videos aka the finest of vintage memes

[tygermama]

We must not despair as long as we are here, we can teach the children about the ancient texts

[wildersage]

thinking about cabbage selective breeding evolution

[wildersage]

who does it like her!

[drtoof]

@mizlizherbologist ​ Heyo

[mizlizherbologist]

Yes, thank you. A visual representation of my cabbage rant

[superdupersafeforwork-deactivat]

Change a single letter and change the word game

I want to play a game with you all.

You have to make a new word by changing only one letter of the last word.

Dirt

[inanna76]

Dire

[who-left-the-lid-off-the-jam-de]

Dare

[missmirim]

Bare

[who-left-the-lid-off-the-jam-de]

Bard

[superdupersafeforwork-deactivat]

Card

[inanna76]

Care

[chiami-jishin]

Mare

[who-left-the-lid-off-the-jam-de]

Male

[chiami-jishin]

Made

[dharuadhmacha-deactivated201706]

Mode

[little-darkling-poppy-deactivat]

Code

[kitten-bug-deactivated20170726]

Cone

[wasmnowf-deactivated20180327]

Core

[trueconfessionsofacurvygirl]

Cord

[workingitinportland-deactivated]

Lord

[texasflutes]

Lore

[akedhi]

Lyre

[finallyhaunted]

Pyre

[gefdreamsofthesea]

Pare

[lightspun]

part

[patrickdiomedes]

Fart

[kandrakelsier]

farm

[atlas-prime]

Fare

[sneakysnorlax]

Fore

[lifefilledwithstories]

Sore

[tiresas]

Sort

[gl00mpunk]

Soft

[terezi]

Sift

[ghetsisharmonica-moved]

silt!

[librius]

silk

[sharkythefangirl]

Milk

[arsenicgodhead]

Mill

[destyni-is-me]

Mull

[when-we-get-over-yonder]

Mule

[darkhairedgirlfromgallifrey-dea]

Male

[siren-canary]

Mile

[gei-ayanami-deactivated20190430]

Pile

[morguebat]

Pill

[trans-shepard]

Kill

[libtard-blazkowicz]

Bill

[joey-wheeler-official]

bull

[papayapom]

ball

[orca-story]

Fall

[mageobservatory]

Fell

[have-you-considered-that-no-dea]

full

[scultorsclayground-deactivated2]

cull

[galaxyfun]

cult

[jothwlw]

pult

[somestupidfurry]

pull

[rainbowsinshadesofblue]

poll

[ur-not-u-deactivated20170101]

pool

[dreams-and-moving-deactivated20]

Cool

[fnhdgsja-deactivated20221223]

Fool

[nancyelsner]

food

[totokoyovvai]

Fond

[jacobtheloofah]

Find

[akisamulove-deactivated20170522]

fine

[beameized]

mine

[ruu-minate]

Mint

[bakaiju]

Tint

[kiritons-deactivated20190722]

Tent

[ardemiskaerie]

Rent

[shadowtheif117]

Bent

[awtacon]

Bend

[dathoejmh]

Mend

[mischiefandspirits]

Mead

[blue-pixiedust]

Read

[thealeksdemon]

Real

[kitxqueen]

Teal

[ayotofu]

Tear

[daughterofscotland]

Fear

[carolinahope]

Dear

[wild--and--wonderful]

Rear

[ten-and-donna]

Pear

[badxwolfxrising]

Peat.

[smackalicious]

Heat

[lordofthebigtimesupernatural]

Meat

[awesomefluffyrainbowshit]

Moat

[accidentallypallas]

Most

[disastergwenom]

Mist

[epicness-defined]

Mast

[glitter-and-metal]

Mask

[chaoticpassiveaggressive]

Musk

[the-demon-inside-of-you]

must

[keylimepxssy]

lust

[hotboyproblems]

Last

[woah-particles]

Past

[themiserablelifeofretail]

Pest.

[justgottabehonest-deactivated20]

Zest

[oldpinkyena]

Nest

[piierogi-deactivated20180108]

Neat!

[astralideas]

Heat

[gigiree]

Seat

[humanityinahandbag]

Beat

[radicalrobo]

Bear

[simonphillip-dosser-deactivated]

Fear

[yoshifan30]

Pear

[jill-fine]

Tear

[firecraker-j]

Teal

[sansan9]

Seal

[dancewithdevs]

Heal

[69-gays-and-a-goat]

Heel

[therealpashadevorak-deactivated]

Heep

[thefoxesraven]

Keep

[curiouser-and-curiouser-fics]

Kelp

[stainablesilver]

Help

[twolouser]

Hell

[jaxallope]

Yell

[toxinice-deactivated20190829]

Tell

[cosm-ixx]

well

[gay-for-tord]

Fell

[smonksthemuse]

Felt

[rhimorechill]

melt

[annabelle--cane]

malt

[rms-idiot]

Halt

[thewhizzyhead]

Hilt

[justqueentingz]

Tilt

[luckys-horseshoe-deactivated202]

Till

[tudor-thorns]

Tall

[thomas-thorne]

Fall

[delriddlesblog]

Mall

[tresbestioles]

Wall

[ambitious-woodpecker]

call

[hyunrun]

Cull

[plagueship-deactivated20260202]

Hull [as in do your school or on going to tie you to a ship hull and keel haul you]

[dykesforlassie]

Pull

[a-sack-of-wet-mice]

Dull

[purplexiasphinx]

Bull!

[boywizard-moved]

Bulk

[zthejukeboxpoet-deactivated2021]

Balk

[jaredwormsboyslizardsquad]

Ball

[enraged-chihuahua]

Hall

[nyx-the-bastard]

Hell

[cheese-greater-official]

Help

[potassiumcyanides]

Helm

[a-very-large-pile-of-hats]

Holm

[skies-full-of-stars]

hole

[frankensteintrans]

vole

[sigma-time-lord]

Vale

[a-lil-freakin-nerd]

Tale

[noirangeles]

Tame

[bnhabadass]

Tome 

[pineapple-dreamr-deactivated202]

Rome

[dragonroyaly]

Home

[the-minecraft-corn]

Hole

[blockofclay]

Hope.

[razzmatazzzzzzzzzz]

Rope

[pandascanpvpmoved]

nope

[dreamsimp]

nose

[gogyluvbot]

Pose

[amimirele]

Rose

[incorrect-saiki]

Rome

[funkylittlebats]

Tome

[ccaleb-widogast]

Some

[mizlizherbologist]

Sole

[beckyloveslife]

I work retail, and have for many years now. I'm not an easily fazed person and have a Talk No Shit, Take No Shit mentality. However, I also have a pretty intense anxiety disorder on top of other mental health issues and when I started 6+ years ago there were some customers who got to me.

So, to all the workers facing Karens and Kens out in the wild, here's my advice - cry.

If you have the type of relationships with your coworkers and managers that will support you, don't try to hold it in. Cry like the overworked, underpaid peon you are.

Nothing terrifies an asshole Karen like the indisputable proof that their actions/words are affecting you as a real live person. They feel perfectly entitled to cuss out a cashier over a wrong order/no cash policy/ face mask mandate but when that person starts to cry and asks them why they'd say such mean things? A whole other story, my friend.

There's no way to make that situation look good to the manager they demanded to speak with, either. My manager literally got a security guard fired for being so verbally abusive he made one of her employees cry.

This strategy has multiple benefits -

1. You're not standing there trying to pen up your emotions, crying is a great physical release for negative emotions and you may very well feel somewhat better afterwards.

2. The person who precipitated the situation is forced to not only see you as a person with feelings, but also has to confront the fact that their abuse has consequences beyond themselves.

3. It can actually give your higher-ups leverage to address these situations. 'They yelled at my employee' is one thing, but 'They yelled at my employee until they were in tears' is a waaaaay worse offense. A good manager can use that. Hell, it can get a security guard fired!

tl;dr: We live in a capitalist hell but we can work the system and cry at work to shame awful customers

[mizlizherbologist]

One of the symptoms of ALS (for me) is uncontrollable crying when I get emotional. You’d best believe I used it to my advantage when I was still working. One particular incident (after he told me to get off my lazy ass) made the old guy feel so bad his wife brought me an apology card with $100 in it.

[drethelin]

does anyone else get mischievous joy out of being nice sometimes? like “Haha, I knew you were going to be hungry so I got you your favorite food so I can surprise you with it being ready when you get here GOT YOU”

[hypokeimena]

#YES!! #its like. it feels like scheming #but love scheming… #the scheme is i want u to be happy (via @calmdownthehawk)

[leverage-ot3]

*parker voice* let’s steal some happiness

[mizlizherbologist]

This was me yesterday @theprimedirectivecansuckit

[vulcanaizawa]

"Shou, can you stop flirting with the prosecution for a hot second and focus on the case?"

"Relax. With the updated autopsy report Yagi-san snuck us from his boss's office, All Might doesn't stand a chance."